To Let Her Know or Not...

[neojanus]

Alright guys, here's the scoop.

I go to a small music college with really no more than 30 students and hang out with basically the same six or seven people all the time.

Inevitably, I have grown attracted to someone. Alas, we are already good friends anyway and I am hesitant to make a move. Like many, I am a little worried about any negative after effects. Truthfully, I don't know what she thinks. We spend a good deal of time together and our friendship is certainly developed... although I wouldn't say that we know too much about each other. I would say that her signals are ambiguous at best. So, I'd say the chances are a little pessimistic Damn it all anyway. But I guess I'll never really know unless I take the chance.

So, I can either let her know or just let it slide.

What do you think?

Before you answer, let me be honest. I have never really managed to get over my inability to divulge my feelings for anyone... the result of a few bad experiences. I am thinking that it might be a good idea for me to take the shot in the balls in any case... just so that I can at least say I wasn't a chump about it any more. These anxieties are annoying me now.

Thanks for your time.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

Here's what I'd do. Let her know but not in the way you're thinking. It's not about telling her your feelings. It's about showing you're a sexual person and turning her on. Start flirting with her. Occassional light C&F, subtle sexual innuendos, then escalate playful kino. Practice not handling her like a delicate china vase. Be dominant with your kino ex. pick her up and throw her around, spank her, gently grab her chin and turn her face toward you. Eventually. isolate her at your place to watch a movie with you or something. Project sexual state--sleepy eyes, slow, deep talking, gentle kino. Look into her eyes, look at her lips, stroke her hair away from her face. Kiss her. Or smell her ear/hair and do the same. Or fo a search for a kiss bridge to fit your seduction. Whatever. Escalate the makeout and ****.

If it doesn't work out, whatever. Don't worry about her reaction. You're not doing anything wrong and you can always reframe any negative reaction she may have. If she refuses to kiss, use Mystery's "you've totally ruined a moment." If she's not attracted, frame it as a compliment to her that you thought she was cool enough to try to hook up. If she's weird about it, frame it as her not being mature enough or secure enough to handle someone liking her. Basically frame the negatives as her freaking out and being weird about something that is no big deal and completely natural. You're always the chill one.

But enough about her reacting negatively. You don't need to even think about that. You da bomb!

 

[Mojo604]

Originally posted by AlwaysExcel
Here's what I'd do. Let her know but not in the way you're thinking. It's not about telling her your feelings. It's about showing you're a sexual person and turning her on. Start flirting with her. Occassional light C&F, subtle sexual innuendos, then escalate playful kino. Practice not handling her like a delicate china vase. Be dominant with your kino ex. pick her up and throw her around, spank her, gently grab her chin and turn her face toward you. Eventually. isolate her at your place to watch a movie with you or something. Project sexual state--sleepy eyes, slow, deep talking, gentle kino. Look into her eyes, look at her lips, stroke her hair away from her face. Kiss her. Or smell her ear/hair and do the same. Or fo a search for a kiss bridge to fit your seduction. Whatever. Escalate the makeout and ****.

If it doesn't work out, whatever. Don't worry about her reaction. You're not doing anything wrong and you can always reframe any negative reaction she may have. If she refuses to kiss, use Mystery's "you've totally ruined a moment." If she's not attracted, frame it as a compliment to her that you thought she was cool enough to try to hook up. If she's weird about it, frame it as her not being mature enough or secure enough to handle someone liking her. Basically frame the negatives as her freaking out and being weird about something that is no big deal and completely natural. You're always the chill one.

But enough about her reacting negatively. You don't need to even think about that. You da bomb!

Great post don AlwaysExel good material, thx.

 

[neojanus]

I think you've got a point... in fact, I think you are probably absolutely right about one sure fire way to handle this situation. I guess now I just have to find the gonads to just say to hell with it and go for the gold.

At least it looks like I was headed in the right direction. Too much damn worrying about screwing up friendships. You're bang on when you say that trying to hook up with someone cool is nothing more than a compliment anyway. Besides, if she gets all insecure about it, I clearly avoided a potential bullet anyway.

I shall attempt to put your advice into action.

 

[MacDiddy]

Even before you use all this material, are you in anyway an AFC??? Do you act confident, self assured around her.... ?????

My guess is that you are an AFC... cause firstly you never let a girl know you are into her.... Thats just inviting a response you might not want to hear and in most cases, it will be... Most DJs either fly under the radar or are so confident & congruent that they can pick up the chick with little resistance...

Since you posted asking for help on this topic, I'd say your confidence levels are low too.... how do you expect to carry yourself with this chick...

You need to work on these things and subtely introduce these attractive qualities into your game....

To suddenly apply some other character when she is use to you being who you are now will not go down too well...