To be or not to be exclusive?

[HarlequinMan]

Ok im seeing this girl tuesday in class who ive been dating and made the tragic mistake of telling her we would be exclusive. She is horrible at returning calls (2-3 days after i leave a message she will call) but she told me i was her first boyfriend....so im giving her a little slack. Im pretty sure she is interested, but losing interest...so ive devised a plan to get out of this asap without commiting relationship suicide.

On tue. i think im going to tell her, in person, that im only exclusive with girls ive had sex with (advice from amoka on this board) then ill say we can still date but id rather wait until your ready for sex before we are exclusive. She is a virgin (obviously), so this may present problems...however, i really dont give a F&#$ because i can go for other girls....

What do you think fellas? Id really like to get this girl more interested but i think the only other option is ignoring her....

 

[COD]

active disinterest or playing hard to get often reaps desired results

 

[HarlequinMan]

Ahhhh, yes i should know these things....im restraining myself from calling her man....the inner AFC will not surface today!

 

[crazymedstudent]

Ok im seeing this girl tuesday in class who ive been dating and made the tragic mistake of telling her we would be exclusive. She is horrible at returning calls (2-3 days after i leave a message she will call) but she told me i was her first boyfriend....so im giving her a little slack. Im pretty sure she is interested, but losing interest...so ive devised a plan to get out of this asap without commiting relationship suicide.

On tue. i think im going to tell her, in person, that im only exclusive with girls ive had sex with (advice from amoka on this board) then ill say we can still date but id rather wait until your ready for sex before we are exclusive. She is a virgin (obviously), so this may present problems...however, i really dont give a F&#$ because i can go for other girls....

What do you think fellas? Id really like to get this girl more interested but i think the only other option is ignoring her....

I would NOT tell her that the only way you will be exclusive is if you are having sex with a girl. This will make you seem cold and shallow. Instead just tell her you aren't ready to settle down with anyone. Tell her that you like hanging out and you don't like to worry about the future and just like to have fun and live in the moment.

I personally think giving her that ultimatum is suicide.

 

[HarlequinMan]

I would NOT tell her that the only way you will be exclusive is if you are having sex with a girl. This will make you seem cold and shallow. Instead just tell her you aren't ready to settle down with anyone. Tell her that you like hanging out and you don't like to worry about the future and just like to have fun and live in the moment.

I personally think giving her that ultimatum is suicide.

Ya man i agree...i thought about it more and now i think that would only work with girls willing to have sex haha....or maybe not at all

So my new plan is just to ignore her...however she is quiet shy and never calls so maybe ill never hear from her...**** it im moving on

 

[The_411]

Ultinatums are never a good idea because they almost always yield the opposite of the desired result.

They are great for getting rid of women however

 

[HarlequinMan]

**** i know man....one time i told this ex girlfriend of mine to either be **** buddies with me or never talk to me again....

turns out she never talked to me again, supporting your theory 411...

 

[sodbuster]

If she doesn't return your calls, you aren't going to get anywhere threatening her. She's already shown you how little you matter in her life. An interested woman would call back sooner. Or if she really was that busy,would make up for it when she was dating you.

I'd just tell her she doesn't seem that interested in you and maybe we shouldn't date if this is how she sees the relationship progressing. I don't think you will be losing anything[you can't lose what you never had].