tips on how to become more patient?

[big weezy]

I have an impatience problem where I lose girls cos I am not prepared to wait longer than a day for a text reply or a call back.

I understand that people are busy and what not but in my eyes if she had high interest she would get back to you within the same day esp if its a text about an immediate date that night.

This 1 girl is p1ssing me off, I text and called her last week. No response. Then next day I asked her to meet up for a drink and I didn't know she went abroad for the weekend, and she called me from a foreign number which I missed then she texts me to say 'can we do it next week? I'm away for the weekend. Also how do you want me to dress for you?'

The fact she didn't just say 'how about next week?' Which seems a fob off. So I text back something a bit sexual and suggested we meet up on mon or tues then asked when she was back. She never replied.

This sort of thing really irritates me and suggests 1 thing that her IL isn't that high. But how do I learn to be more patient before I contact again?

I come across too keen an desperate when really its just me being impatient and want instant gratification.

 

[big weezy]

I text her today to meet up maybe tonight or fri cos I'm I'm busy tomorrow and sat, and I couldn't wait any longer than 5 hours before I called her cos I was fed up of her not picking up her phone or texting back.

Now I'm at a stage where I'm p1ssed off with her now and don't want to meet her even If she says yes. Its been my general attitude with women the past few weeks, if I bump int them on the street again I just ignore and avoid them and barely say hi. I feel like that if she isn't going to respond to me in a timely manner then I'm not interested anymore.

 

[ARrocket]

If you were out of the country, you'd also probably forget to reply to an (expensive) text from some random broad that doesn't really mean anything to you yet.

Chill.

I get the feeling your problem could be solved by having more than one girl to worry about. You need options. Spin plates. That way, when Girl A is flaky, either Girl B or Girl C will text you back. Then, you aren't obsessing.

 

[big weezy]

Ok she text me back but I'm not happy with the answer, a second 'can we do it next week? Promise'

Last fri:

Me: If you dress nice for me i'll take us to that secret posh bar in town i told you about. Im busy tomorrow but free tonight or Sun, how's then?

Her: Hi big weezy its me HB.Tks a lot,but I am in spain this weekend,sorry! What about next week?..
What does it mean "dress for me"? It's ok,of course but what would u like exactly? Big Hug

Me: hey, spain is beautiful, enjoy your weekend. A dress & sexy heels like you said the other day is fine. ? whatever flatters your sexy figure. We could do Mon or Tues then. When are you back?

No response


Today:


Me: hey, guess u are back now. let's get together for that drink then, im busy tomorrow & Sat but can do tonight or Fri, how's then? Hope u have the perfect outfit for me ? x

Her: Yep! I am here...but I can't see u on friday. I promise next week, is it ok? ... I don't have my outfit ready yet, some suggestions?

Should I just not reply and make her sweat it out?

Remember this is 2nd time now she's said 'how about next week?' I expect a specific day answer, not some BS fluff.

If I don't reply for a few days it'll let her think a bit I guess. Then should I say 'when next week?'

Make her commit a day now seeing as I offered twice.

 

[ARrocket]

You're trying to sound not-needy by giving her a few specific days, but IMO you're still coming off as needy.

Don't reply to that, don't text her for 10-15 days, see if she contacts you. If not, try one more time.

EDIT: I guess this now concerns your new thread...

 

[Some Call Me Tim]

2 strikes, she's out

She's had the chance(s) to get together. Time for no contact. She'll come running back, or you move on.

 

[big weezy]

You're trying to sound not-needy by giving her a few specific days, but IMO you're still coming off as needy.

Don't reply to that, don't text her for 10-15 days, see if she contacts you. If not, try one more time.

EDIT: I guess this now concerns your new thread...

Yes exactlky, what I was thinking. No contact seemed appropriate but I wanted to check wit you guys first.

She should come back to me with a specific day. I need to take back the power. You're right I'm coming across as needy.


The thing is if I NC and she doesn't get in contact and then I do, won't it seem as if I caved in and grovelling back?

Secondly, if she does contact me it's going to be a 'hey how r u?' Type of text, should I act uninterested and make her work more to regain my interest again?

Like force her to offer a time to meet up, and then I should act wishy washy uninterested till she offers a firm time and day cos I can see.a flake coming on if I agree too quickly given her current back and forths with me.

I pasted the reply as a new thread as it wasn't erelevant to this 1 anymore.

 

[JPlaya]

lol do girls really wait a day to reply. The longest I had to wait was an hour and she was at practice then.

 

[LoneWolf]

she's fuking you around too much. when i was first seeing my girl, she didn't do this. she told me a day she wasn't busy and we both agreed to it and it's been like that ever since. she never says i can't. she chooses a day and sticks to it. i think you'll run into problems with this girl in the future if she's making it this hard to hang out. if she was so interested, she would of just chosen a day and stuck to it.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Work in customer service. Seriously. You either go insane or you find ways to cope and not take things personally. It helps you focus only on what you need to do and learn what you can control and what you should leave alone.

Telemarketing might work as well. It teaches you patience with people.

if she had high interest she would get back to you within the same day esp if its a text about an immediate date that night.

You are very correct.

She never replied.

See your previous point. Why did she not reply? Because she doesn't care. The only reason she's talking to you is because you're interesting. It's a form of trolling I suppose. She likes the attention (just like internet trolls.)

But how do I learn to be more patient before I contact again?

You're going to love this one: DELETE HER NUMBER. When she's interested she will call or message you. If she doesn't you save time and you know for sure that she's just a tease. By deleting her number you have no impulse to message her back. The phone is not available.

This technique also works for drunks. Best thing you can do is remove the phone so they don't drunk dial. No phone? No impulse to dial.

You win either way. Try it.

 

[mahoney]

ugh you are way too pressurizing and needy. yet another overtexter

maybe 80% of the advice questions on this thread are basically the same problem

with every one of these texts you drain their interest level another bit.

basically what are you wanting out of these texts? you say it yourself, you are impatient. you need constant reassurance and validation, thats massively not a good look - it says you can only be happy with things as long as there is constant contact, surefire way to push someone away

each text you send is needy and boring, and there are too many of them, what is there even for her to say in a reply. you're not even interested in the content, just the fact that the texts exist, you actually care more about how long it takes her to reply than what she actually says. a non-needy person doesn't do this. you have almost no composure

its like groundhog day on here, every texting thread is exactly the same, you think you guys would learn from each other. basically, girl gets a good text with something actually interesting in it, likes to SAVOUR it (have you ever seen a teen movie, what does the girl do? she looks at the phone while lying in bed, all dreamy like - girls watch those films, they like that, those films are sold to them specifically because thats what they like), then when she replies...bang immediately another one, and another...bombarded with texts, each one more boring than the last, each one reducing the value of the original text

whenever she picks up the phone, whats there? yes, yet another text from you. by the time she actually goes anywhere with you, she's bored of you, you're like a constant presence with these excessive texts

overtexters are like puppies, constantly demanding attention, eventually no matter how miuch you like the funny little puppy, it has to go outside

 

[mahoney]

It teaches you patience with people.
.

first a person should learn patience with themselves. if you are having to learn about patience and composure, it isn't all the other people that are at fault its you.

learn a little composure, don't be a 5 year old on christmas eve

 

[big weezy]

You're trying to sound not-needy by giving her a few specific days, but IMO you're still coming off as needy.

Don't reply to that, don't text her for 10-15 days, see if she contacts you. If not, try one more time.

EDIT: I guess this now concerns your new thread...

What would u suggest for the 2 scenarios in my last post?

 

[initiatorhater06]

i still use the 3-day rule

 

[ARrocket]

What would u suggest for the 2 scenarios in my last post?

Not sure what you're talking about...?

 

[Gam]

Really and truly you're placing way too much emphasis on whether or not she responds and not enough on the content of the response. You'll find that you'd be equally as disappointed if she'd text you back right away with really short and dull messages like "oh really?" and "maybe later...". Truth is if you get hung up on getting instant gratification your lining up yourself to be used. You may even appear needy which is why you have to keep your options open.

Focus on being patient in the LONG run of the game, not in the short run by waiting for a measly text to give you satisfaction.

In all honesty, you should have disqualified her after the second time she put you off...

 

[scammbone]

No contact. Waste of time.

 

[PapiChulo]

Let her contact you, if she doesn't you got your answer. Meanwhile get with somebody else. NC works, just don't do it half-as$ed and be weary of attention seeking and don't get offensive, be aloof, yet friendly.

 

[big weezy]

Not sure what you're talking about...?

you mentioned i should wait 10-15 days to see if she contacts me..

The thing is if I NC and she doesn't get in contact and then I do, won't it seem as if I caved in and grovelling back?

Secondly, if she does contact me it's going to be a 'hey how r u?' Type of text, should I act uninterested and make her work more to regain my interest again?

Like force her to offer a time to meet up, and then I should act wishy washy uninterested till she offers a firm time and day cos I can see.a flake coming on if I agree too quickly given her current back and forths with me.

 

[mahoney]

1. too much focus on the frequency of the contact and the level of the contact - not enough focus on the content of the contact

this is the problem with a lot of you dudes, you are so wrapped up in how often to contact or not-contact you completely neglect to think about what the actual contact is!

2. you're focusing this NC thing entirely from your perspective - this is another problem with you NC dudes, you're so wrapped up in how many days you've gone without contact, its like you think they are counting the days also! they probably didn't even notice (this isn't even a criticism of them - go look on your facebook or your email list, pick the...lets say 12th person there, how many days since you last spoke to them? do you even know? do either of you think of it as NC? no of course not)