Tips for sealing the deal on the first date

[member160971]

Recently I went on a couple dates after spending a couple years totally out of the game. One was from a couchsurfing meetup (highly recommend that app if you haven't used it), and one was from Bumble (hate that app but it works I guess). Anyway, both were pretty worthless failures. I went out on two dates with each of them hoping that a second would seal the deal and it didn't. Now I'm trying to reassess my approach because closing hasn't been an issue for me in the past.

The first girl was more open to physical contact when we were out on the date, but absolutely would not budge when we were at my place. I figured at first it was a **** test but she remained adamant about not doing anything, not even making out. She was from Iran so obviously more conservative, but I didn't think that would matter once I got her back. It was really a weird experience, considering that she gave some open signals when we were at dinner. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong there.

The second girl dressed provocatively when we went out to this Latin bar on the second date (she was from Peru), but would not open up at all physically while we were there. I felt like I was wasting my time and ended up leaving early while she met up with her friends.

I've been trying to figure out what I could've done differently in both of these situations. Anyone know what might've gone wrong? How can I avoid wasting my time like this in the future? I know it's hard to say without observing my behavior, I'm just hoping for some general tips/advice.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

I've been trying to figure out what I could've done differently in both of these situations.

Not much. It's all about attraction and desire.

Either she is into you or she's not.
If she doesn't desire you from the start then you just need to move on. Heck I'd leave her on the "date" itself and tell her that she is not for me.

Human relationships and social interactions are always based on power. That is the ones that wants it the most have the least power i.e. if you want her more than she wants you then you lost the battle and vice versa.

You need to act cool, be self secure and have your frame in check; and that is pretty much what your can control.
If that doesn't cut it, then walk way instead of acting a like a little horny puppy where you lose your self dignity and frame...

 

[pipeman84]

How can I avoid wasting my time like this in the future? I know it's hard to say without observing my behavior, I'm just hoping for some general tips/advice.

If you just want to fvck and not waste time, get an escort. You're looking for sex on first date, which means you're looking for a hoe but you're engaging either with normal girls or hoes who are not honest enough to admit they are one so they either give false signals or lead you on but in the end they leave you with blue balls. So either go the direct route or accept the reality that you're taking a detour which by definition means a lot of wasted time.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Have a female friend throw a party but she only invites girls and you. It will be like fishing in a barrel.

I had a ONS from this except I didnt plan it. I just happened by chance to be the only guy at the party.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Women know within a few minutes of meeting you how far you'll be able to get with them and it will be very hard to change their opinion of that.

Only real way would be to keep in contact with her and repeatedly ask her out and hope she is bored one day and horny and takes you up on your offer...have known a few guys that fvcked a girl like that but it was always a one time thing.

Not worth the time and effort most likely.

 

[EyeBRollin]

To get first date lays I found the following observations-

-She needs to be 2-3 points lower SMV than you
- this should correlates to very high initial interest level
-the logistics have to be pre planned for sex to have a venue to happen (near your place or hotel)
-she has to be moderate to full on promiscuous

Bottom line is, some girls are DTF and some just aren’t. Find one that is DTF for you from the jump. Plan the date out ahead of time in your head so that you have a way to get her into bed. When you have a live one, act aggressive. Make out with her in the first 30 minutes. If she rejects the first kiss keep trying every 10 minutes until she gives in or tells you she is leaving.

Other bonus tips- take her to multiple venues. “Bar hop.” It gives the illusion of multiple dates.

 

[The Duke]

It's how you make them feel. The more tingles you generate, the sooner the panties drop. It's about the vibe and how you connect. It's what you talk about and how you say it. It's the location and atmosphere. It's how you lead, and put them at ease.

 

[TheSpaniard]

I’m recently divorced and smash 2-3 new women a week on average. I hook up the first night every single time. Here’s what I’ve done
Work on your physical aesthetics, women love muscle and the V taper. Get your BF under 14% too.
my standard date night formula
1. Meet at my house and I drive them in my sports coupe to a waterfall hike 15 minutes away. I get extra hands on time and comfortability by helping them down arduous paths.
2. We head back to my place to change.
3. I take them to dinner and order a bottle of wine.
4. Back to my place for music and another bottle of wine.
5. I smash
I rarely talk about myself and just say I did stuff in the military or utility stuff for work. No details, I ask them questions, pick up on stuff they slightly mention. I don’t do clubs, bars, etc.

 

[member160971]

M

To get first date lays I found the following observations-

-She needs to be 2-3 points lower SMV than you
- this should correlates to very high initial interest level
-the logistics have to be pre planned for sex to have a venue to happen (near your place or hotel)
-she has to be moderate to full on promiscuous

Bottom line is, some girls are DTF and some just aren’t. Find one that is DTF for you from the jump. Plan the date out ahead of time in your head so that you have a way to get her into bed. When you have a live one, act aggressive. Make out with her in the first 30 minutes. If she rejects the first kiss keep trying every 10 minutes until she gives in or tells you she is leaving.

Other bonus tips- take her to multiple venues. “Bar hop.” It gives the illusion of multiple dates.

Making out within the first 30 minutes seems tricky in public, generally I’d prefer to save that for my place honestly. Breaking the contact barrier is a must obviously, but I’m not real comfortable kissing in public tbh.

 

[member160971]

Thanks

I’m recently divorced and smash 2-3 new women a week on average. I hook up the first night every single time. Here’s what I’ve done
Work on your physical aesthetics, women love muscle and the V taper. Get your BF under 14% too.
my standard date night formula
1. Meet at my house and I drive them in my sports coupe to a waterfall hike 15 minutes away. I get extra hands on time and comfortability by helping them down arduous paths.
2. We head back to my place to change.
3. I take them to dinner and order a bottle of wine.
4. Back to my place for music and another bottle of wine.
5. I smash
I rarely talk about myself and just say I did stuff in the military or utility stuff for work. No details, I ask them questions, pick up on stuff they slightly mention. I don’t do clubs, bars, etc.

Thanks for this. The club/bar thing is pretty lame but the few women I’ve taken for outdoor dates have been pretty terrible hikers. If I just want to smash I don’t usually bother with something as elaborate as you describe.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Making out within the first 30 minutes seems tricky in public, generally I’d prefer to save that for my place honestly. Breaking the contact barrier is a must obviously, but I’m not real comfortable kissing in public tbh.

I understand. I was the same way. But it works…

Kissing leads to other things. Get her mind to go there as quickly as possible.

 

[devilkingx2]

The first girl was more open to physical contact when we were out on the date, but absolutely would not budge when we were at my place. I figured at first it was a **** test but she remained adamant about not doing anything, not even making out. She was from Iran so obviously more conservative, but I didn't think that would matter once I got her back. It was really a weird experience, considering that she gave some open signals when we were at dinner. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong there.

Nothing went wrong, that date seems like it went well. If you want to bang fast and easy, you're not going to do it with girls who are conservative or religious.

If she was one of those middle eastern chicks that has tattoos and plastic surgery, then it didn't go well, she had low interest.

The second girl dressed provocatively when we went out to this Latin bar on the second date (she was from Peru), but would not open up at all physically while we were there. I felt like I was wasting my time and ended up leaving early while she met up with her friends.

This girl sounds like she was wasting your time. She planned to go out with her friends afterwards and dressed sexy but didn't want to get physical. You were her pregame apparently.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I’m recently divorced and smash 2-3 new women a week on average. I hook up the first night every single time. Here’s what I’ve done
Work on your physical aesthetics, women love muscle and the V taper. Get your BF under 14% too.
my standard date night formula
1. Meet at my house and I drive them in my sports coupe to a waterfall hike 15 minutes away. I get extra hands on time and comfortability by helping them down arduous paths.
2. We head back to my place to change.
3. I take them to dinner and order a bottle of wine.
4. Back to my place for music and another bottle of wine.
5. I smash
I rarely talk about myself and just say I did stuff in the military or utility stuff for work. No details, I ask them questions, pick up on stuff they slightly mention. I don’t do clubs, bars, etc.

Very rare a woman is going to meet a guy at their house for a first date.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Very rare a woman is going to meet a guy at their house for a first date.

In his case, he's got multiple outside the home activities planned. I would think the key to this is getting women who live on the same side of the waterfall as him, but further out so that they would have to drive past his house to get to the waterfall anyway. Throw in the sports car and I see how he could sell it.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Recently I went on a couple dates after spending a couple years totally out of the game. One was from a couchsurfing meetup (highly recommend that app if you haven't used it), and one was from Bumble (hate that app but it works I guess). Anyway, both were pretty worthless failures. I went out on two dates with each of them hoping that a second would seal the deal and it didn't. Now I'm trying to reassess my approach because closing hasn't been an issue for me in the past.

The first girl was more open to physical contact when we were out on the date, but absolutely would not budge when we were at my place. I figured at first it was a **** test but she remained adamant about not doing anything, not even making out. She was from Iran so obviously more conservative, but I didn't think that would matter once I got her back. It was really a weird experience, considering that she gave some open signals when we were at dinner. I'm not sure exactly what went wrong there.

The second girl dressed provocatively when we went out to this Latin bar on the second date (she was from Peru), but would not open up at all physically while we were there. I felt like I was wasting my time and ended up leaving early while she met up with her friends.

I've been trying to figure out what I could've done differently in both of these situations. Anyone know what might've gone wrong? How can I avoid wasting my time like this in the future? I know it's hard to say without observing my behavior, I'm just hoping for some general tips/advice.

Great topic, and there is only one way to ensure that a woman won't waste yo MUTHAFUKIN TIME. I got a thread for it coming soon.

 

[member160971]

Great topic, and there is only one way to ensure that a woman won't waste yo MUTHAFUKIN TIME. I got a thread for it coming soon.

Please elaborate

 

[SW15]

To get first date lays I found the following observations-

-She needs to be 2-3 points lower SMV than you
- this should correlates to very high initial interest level
-the logistics have to be pre planned for sex to have a venue to happen (near your place or hotel)

When I think about many of my first dates over the years, these conditions were often unfulfilled. That meant my first dates were not conducive for sex.

I wasn't typically having dates with women 2-3 points lower on SMV. On the rare occasion this would happen, I would notice that the woman was more into me than a woman of equal SMV.

A more significant problem over the years has been my apartments. My apartments over the years haven't been within walking distance of the best first date bars in the cities where I have lived. Some apartments have been a short Uber/Lyft ride away, but a short ride isn't the same as a walk. This affected me.

I realized that I wasn't well set up for same night lays in bars from in-person approaches and I wasn't well set up for first date sex. I realized I had to date more slowly. So I played to the situation with my apartment location. It's been more typical for me to get 2nd-3rd date sex.

-she has to be moderate to full on promiscuous

Bottom line is, some girls are DTF and some just aren’t. Find one that is DTF for you from the jump. Plan the date out ahead of time in your head so that you have a way to get her into bed. When you have a live one, act aggressive. Make out with her in the first 30 minutes. If she rejects the first kiss keep trying every 10 minutes until she gives in or tells you she is leaving.

All true. I have had dates with varying levels of promiscuity. I have had sex by the end of the 3rd date in all my interactions. There was once where I went on a 4th date with no sex on the 3rd date. That 4th date also had no sex and she ghosted after date 4. I was totally fine with her ghosting because I was feeling somewhat unenthusiastic about her.

Other bonus tips- take her to multiple venues. “Bar hop.” It gives the illusion of multiple dates.

I agree. Multivenue-ing is best. Multiple PUAs have mentioned this tactic over the years.

 

[2Rocky]

If you are doing dates set in the future I would include dancing in a High Kino manner as a component. Even if it is just to a jukebox in a dive bar.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Please elaborate

I gotchu. Stay tuned, my dude.

 

[TheSpaniard]

As a woman gotta say this^ is some good Game! Curious about no. 2 though, what is SHE changing into, assuming this is a first date?

Do you tell her in advance about the waterfall hike and ask her to bring a change of clothes?

Might be awkward for a first date, but I'd do it if the vibe between us was right prior to the date.



@Howiestern it's no secret there's been no love lost between us but gotta say wow, your response is 100% spot on, imo of course as a woman responding to it.

Vibe and how you connect and everything else you said.

Guys, pay attention, again spot on!

I typically do a 5-10 minute phone conversation to set up the date. Makes them feel way more comfortable I feel like. Saves me time texting.
On the date, Be a gentleman, open your car door for her, open restaurant doors, tell her she looks pretty, look into her eyes, make her laugh, challenge her viewpoints, be very vague about yourself. It’s not hard at all.

I’m 36, Women 19-28 have no worries in the world usually. A lot of younger women address me as sir online. Kinda weird, but I’m getting used to it. Women 30-35 with kids are sometimes hesitant. I tell them we can meet in public first. I’ll send a pic of my kids and I. Plus I’m a veteran, that helps. They are usually cool after that.
I tell them hiking clothes and dinner clothes. I live north of the cities. The waterfall is 15 minutes past my house.
Typically women drive 30-40 minutes. I’ve had a few drive 2 hours.
I don’t have time to waste on 2nd dates. Plus I just really enjoy the process and experience. The more I do it, the smoother and easier it gets.