Do you think this will work?
"Things you need to know about me. First off, if we go out, you're paying. Not just for me, but my wife, if she shows up. And she's a drinker. Sex isn't guaranteed after that. If I'm interested, I'll place my underpants on the table, fold them in three and place them in your handbag. Return them washed and we'll consummate passionately. I dislike women who aren't shallow. A plus if you wear my mothers perfume and fit perfectly in the void she left. I'm 6 foot and four inches. Those are two measurements."
"Things you need to know about me. First off, if we go out, you're paying. Not just for me, but my wife, if she shows up. And she's a drinker. Sex isn't guaranteed after that. If I'm interested, I'll place my underpants on the table, fold them in three and place them in your handbag. Return them washed and we'll consummate passionately. I dislike women who aren't shallow. A plus if you wear my mothers perfume and fit perfectly in the void she left. I'm 6 foot and four inches. Those are two measurements."