Time between dates / post date behavior

[European-DJ]

While I continue to work on my game with hotter girls (HB9+, which I still find very intimidating), I wanted to understand what kind of post date / post lay behavior you engage in and whether you have any rules to keep you grounded to avoid coming on to strong…

I recently slept with two very hot girls, HB-UK (British) and HB-HK (from HK).:

HB-UK: I tried to play it cool throughout the time we chatted / saw each other, but she could definitely feel that I was nervous / intimidated by her. On the 2nd date I brought her back to mine and she left right after we slept together - it was a bit strange. Initially she was quite warm and started texting and responding way quicker than she usually did, but I think something clicked in me and I assumed the role of the chaser (which I typically leave to the HB8s after I’ve slept with them). It’s like I had gotten the catch and now didn’t want to lose it, so I was clinging onto it!.. needless to say she kinda faded away and I am not the type to chase persistent so I just let her disappear.

HB-HK: I still have no idea how I got with this girl. Our first date I cut extremely short and left after 45 min. As per your recommendation in one of my previous topics I treated her like any other woman and went for the kiss ~5 min before I had to run, which she “accepted”. Second date I invited her for some drinks and then just told her she was going back to mine and she complied. She stayed most of next morning and didn’t seem to want to leave… I texted her quite a bit the next day and have arranged a date for next week. She added me on Instagram (I have no content and like 250 followers), and this girl has 150k followers and is even more hot on there than she was on our date (she was very pretty on our dates by the way)… needless to say this got my head spinning.
My worry now is that I am coming on too strong, and after I saw the amount of followers on her profile I definitely felt this artificial competitive pressure increase in me.

On one hand, I want to demonstrate that i’m interested and lock her in for another date quickly. On the other hand I don’t want to come off to strong and risk it fading again…

I would therefore be keen to hear whether you guys have some standard rules that you follow, successfully, which you think could be of assistance to me while I develop this part of my game. I can’t stop feeling that I am an imposter amongst these extremely beautiful girls and it’s making me feel quite uncomfortable…

 

[Scars]

Better to be too aloof/distant than needy. If a female wants to hang out, she will reach out. If it's been 2-3 weeks and still nothing, maybe sent out a feeler text "Hey, I'm available Tuesday wanna do xxx". Even if she can't make it, an interested woman will make a counter offer. If she doesn't agree to meet up or make a counter offer, take it as a loss and move onto other plates.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Women are overly used to being chased. There is a difference between chasing and pursuing.

Ideally, you want both parties to pursue each other. When you don't chase a particular woman, it often throws them off and this can go two ways depending on how she views you or has labeled you so far:

1) She will reach out and take the initiative to spend time with you again.
2) She will choose to move on.

Not chasing is a good way to determine her real interest level. Women that decide to move on are, again, used to being chased and having other 100 guys doing so, but trust me at least she will move on respecting you.

To your question, you should let them know you had a good time and go on to live your life, and the same for her. The reason I do let them know I had a good time and enjoyed my time with her is that I want to be intentional and pursue something and if she is genuinely interested then I want her to pursue me. If they know I had a good time but they don't reach out, then I know they are just seeking attention/validation and ultimately she is not genuinely interested or available.

Note: I do not pursue women with low interest, only medium-high to high interest girls.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice

 

[European-DJ]

Women are overly used to being chased. There is a difference between chasing and pursuing.

Ideally, you want both parties to pursue each other. When you don't chase a particular woman, it often throws them off and this can go two ways depending on how she views you or has labeled you so far:

1) She will reach out and take the initiative to spend time with you again.
2) She will choose to move on.

Not chasing is a good way to determine her real interest level. Women that decide to move on are, again, used to being chased and having other 100 guys doing so, but trust me at least she will move on respecting you.

To your question, you should let them know you had a good time and go on to live your life, and the same for her. The reason I do let them know I had a good time and enjoyed my time with her is that I want to be intentional and pursue something and if she is genuinely interested then I want her to pursue me. If they know I had a good time but they don't reach out, then I know they are just seeking attention/validation and ultimately she is not genuinely interested or available.

Note: I do not pursue women with low interest, only medium-high to high interest girls.

Hope this helps.


Modern Man Advice

Much appreciated. One thing to clarify.

So after the first day you’ll wait for them to text / reach out and arrange the second date or how do you proceed? Keen to know.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Much appreciated. One thing to clarify.

So after the first day you’ll wait for them to text / reach out and arrange the second date or how do you proceed? Keen to know.

You can reach out to them but sparingly and make sure it's either to 1) set up the second date or 2) share something funny or something she'll be interested in.

Ideally you'll float date ideas during the prior meet so it's less awkward.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Much appreciated. One thing to clarify.

So after the first day you’ll wait for them to text / reach out and arrange the second date or how do you proceed? Keen to know.

The key is to set the dynamic up for a second date during the first date. Intentionality is important in your conversations. Ideally, you want to give the girl a peek into your world during the first date, and perhaps allow her to give you a peek into her world on the second. Or alternatively, mention an event happening the next week so there is a clear intent to see each other again.

To your question, not necessarily. And please keep in mind this is where true "game" happens. You have to tailor every interaction to the girl. Read her body, her behavior, her desires, etc, etc and pursue accordingly. Meaning, every interaction during or after the first date should be different from girl to girl. You will approach the next text and the next date per how she interacts with you.

But generally speaking, I will text them after the date and let them know I had a good time (if I genuinely did have a good time). Usually, they respond by saying they had a good time as well, etc.

Then a day or two go by, if they don't reach out I will give them 3 days tops before initiating contact by bringing something up (ideally something funny) that happened on the date or bringing up that event and gauging her interest level. The ideal scenario is for her to bring up the next time you will see each other but if we are being honest most girls lack initiative (even if they are interested in you, and I've been told straight up by the girls themselves). This is why most times you have to give them that little push.

If she is wishy-washy or I don't see/sense a clear intent/desire from her for us to meet again, or if I am the one ALWAYS initiating contact and dates then I simply don't pursue her and eventually don't reach out at all.

One of my standards is genuine mutual desire. I need to feel and see that she wants to pursue me. If I don't I simply get turned off and bored.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Dr.Suave]

"What time do you get off work x day?"

"6pm"

"Cool. I´ll pick you up "

Works for me

 

[European-DJ]

Thanks guys, I appreciate your advice.

I am obviously just overthinking the situation and should follow my own advice / what used to be preached here: if she’s interested, she’s interested and she’ll make it easy for you. If she isn’t there’s no point in worrying either way.

These girls are just next level in terms of looks and family wealth, which is a new turf for me and intimidates me.
The HK girl invited me to her birthday, where all of her friends were present, so she’s obviously interested.