Tick-tock

[NMMWCR]

Can I get a little perspective from the DJs who are beyond wearing their pants 4 sizes too big?

Now that I am in my early 30's a new wrinkle has presented itself for me. Most of the women I am interested in getting to know are old enough that they can hear their biological clock ticking.


This has been both a good and a bad thing.

Good

As a woman's time becomes more valuable due to its scarcity, she spends increasingly less time playing girlish games. It is increasingly easier to determine whether I am in or out since my targets don't feel like dragging things out and have begun to tire of being playerettes and/or discover they can no longer compete on that front with younger and firmer girls.

Bad

The middle ground of developing a relationship is the part that gets squeezed out when women are looking to get to a destination in a limited amount of time. That great part in the middle between getting to know you and making plans forever, i.e. the part with least demands and the most sex, is the part that women want to eliminate.

---

Perhaps my experience is unique but it seems that starting around 24, women want to spend a couple meetings getting to know a guy, maybe 4-5 at most, try you on for size sexually, then fast forward to making plans for marriage. I'm not entirely opposed to marriage to the right girl, but I can't know she is the right girl in the space of 2-3 months. Where is the part where we get to become best friends?

So I'm locked in a cycle of having to trade a girl in every 4-5 months because they either want someone they can rush or because I resent the pressure.

What to do? I still occassionally get interest from younger girls thanks to a boyish appearance that still gets me carded at resturaunts, but I really just want to choke little girls in their early twenties who are still primarily motivated by drinking and seeing how large of a harem of AFCs they can collect. Going a little older gets me the appearance of women who are mature enough to give things a little more time, but that has proven to be a scenario where she is just mature enough to hide an agenda longer.

What are your experiences and what coping mechanisms have you developed?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Girls who are around the age of 27 seem to be desperate to find a hubby and will eliminate a man who she sees as unfit for husband material or a man who does not want to settle down. She moves quickly and usually this relationship doesn't last for more than 4 months, because she knows time is of the essence!

There is very little a man could do to make the relationship last longer than this 4 month period, if she has eliminated him for one of the two reasons I listed above.

 

[NewMan]

I hear you.

Look, you can't pre-determine who these girls are upfront.

And, you don't want to rule out a perspective good LTR.

So, you've got to play the game and move on if the noose becomes to tight a fit.

Most of the girls I'm dating after my LTR are 25-27 area. I'm 33.

I've ont had any issues with these girls - but then I've not been particularly interested in developing a relationship further than a couple of months.

I think the only thing to so is to keep doing what your doing. There are women out there that will not pressure you and will not rush you. Not all women are interested in getting married ASAP.

Where do you live?

 

[Yotsuya-san]

By the time these women get just under 30, they're less interested in playing games. It used to be sure, they're attracted to you but the last thing they want to be is straighforward and no-nonsense about it. They wan't to spice it up with drama and whimsy (even when some of it is at your expense) to entertain themselves and their girlfriends. They wan't it to be more interesting for them. Like a gamemaster throwing us puzzles, traps and riddles in an RPG dungeon. But after a certain point, they realize that they can no longer be caught up in trying to make the whole trip interesting. Their time's running out and they just want to get to the destination as quickly and neatly as possible.

 

[ematsuda]

I agree with all of you. My last g/f was 28 and very attractive. However, I got really turned off by her eagerness to settle down and get married. It made me sick and I eventually got rid of her. She needed to get a life and stop making me center of her universe.

Just because they are older should not mean that women should lose all their "game". Yes, be more mature about the relationship as far a game playing, but stop with all the pressure!

As women get older many of them tend to not only lose their looks, but their confidence and independence seems to wither away also - the 3 traits that are most appealing to men. Go figure.

I'm to the point where I only date girls 21 - 25 now. The older ones make me sick by being so serious so quickly. BTW, I'm 39, but look like I'm in the mid 20's. No kidding - I got carded for buying cigarettes 2 weeks ago. You only have to be 18 to buy them here. Of all my friends ages 26 -36, I'm the oldest but look the youngest. So only young ones for me please.

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. It's cop and blow in this came. When they get tired they blow.

2. Try dating older women who've already been married. Most are in no hurry to try it again. If you can find one with no kids they you got a good one. Plus they already are established. Will have their own homes and nice cars and will pay for the dates.

 

[dietzcoi]

I found women in their late twenties or thirties either have small children or want them... both of these are a NO GO..

I tried the 21 year old, too flaky

Now I have a 44 year old, kids are 21 and 18, out of the picture, the sex is great, she earns good money, don't have to buy her things, everything is good.

If you are over 40 I would advise dating women the same age unless you want to get married yourself. If you are 25-40 and want to date women in this age group you may be out of luck! Just be careful they do not get pregnant "by accident".

Dietzcoi

 

[Slickster]

First off. Great thread. I can't even imagine the response to this post on the other forum. What a breath of fresh air. Great new forum.

My experience has been that women in their late 20's start in with the pressure of taking things to the next level. 24 seems too young for me. I don't know many 24 yr olds who want marriage and kids right away.

Can you really blame a woman for this type of behaviour? Think about it. Throughout their 20's women rely almost exclusively on their looks for everything. When they begin to fade its panic time. They have to get their hooks in some guy ASAP. They know that their options are getting fewer and fewer as they approach 30. To top it off most women want children and that option gets more risky the older they get.

Men on the other hand have the opposite happen. In their early 20's they have very little going for them. Chicks are more interested in older guys who have money and have their shyt together.

A man's value goes up with age. A woman's goes down.

I don't want marriage or kids right away either. However I am also getting pressure from the women I've been with lately. I DO want to have kids someday though. But I'm not ready to give up my freedom just yet. I guess I'm in much the same position as you.

I guess it comes down to what you are looking for in your future. Do you want to stay single/unmarried forever or are you interested in settling down with family and kids. If you choose option 1 then you have to find a woman with similar interests. This could be very tough. If you are interested in option 2 sometime in your life then ask yourself what you are really waiting for. If you decided to have kids in your late 30's, early 40's then by the time your kids are 20 you will be in your 60's. A senior citizen!

I don't know about you but in my teens I didn't really have a whole lot in common with my parents and I didn't really have much of a relationship with them at all. I just wasn't around them all that much. In my 20's though that changed as I matured. If you are interested in having children someday then I think you should do it early enough so that you can have some sort of relationship with them while you are still young enough to enjoy it.

Just some things rolling thru my head.

 

[dietzcoi]

Good points slickster but realize this:

Teenagers do not want to have anything to do with their parents no matter if the parents are in their 40's (like me) or 60's.

Do not fall into the hollywood trap that your life will be like the Brady Bunch. It won't...

I would advise people who think they want kids to think again. This is real life, not TV. Watch the movie "Thirteen" and decide if you want kids. You will change your mind!

Kids are a very expensive investment which often yields negative returns.

Sorry to be politacally incorrect

Dietzcoi

 

[maranathaman]

"Try dating older women who've already been married. Most are in no hurry to try it again. If you can find one with no kids they you got a good one. "

Also women who have been married already and used to having sex on a fairly frequent basis, and if they've been divorced for a while, they might REALLY miss-it!

 

[Genghis Juan]

Female:Male Ratios

How about another dynamic in the dating scene thats been getting alot of press lately?

Supposedly, due to low birth rates in the late 60's and early 70's, male that are currently in their late 20's and early 30's outnumber the women in their same age group. The Press had been stating that dating sites have been overpopulated with men.

However, by next year, it will revert back to men's favor.

I think this is very inaccurate though. Because you guys have mentioned the biological clock effect on women. But I think you also have to take into acount that guys are always going for younger women as well.

In other words, I think the male-female ratios don't explain much, because a man who is a DJ, will remain eligable even up to the age of 40. I have seen so many guys in their mid-30's and late 30's date women in their early 20's. So I think that will revert any slight advantage women have in a ratio to our favor. Furthermore, the ratio the news site reported was ALL singles, it wasn't broken down to age groups.

Another interesting fact though was the East Coast has more women, versus California having the highest male to female ratio.

Food for thought.

 

[gentleman193]

Dating sites are overpopulated with men but that has nothing to do with the ratio at large. A lot of women still wouldn't be caught with their photo on match.com

California has a lot more guys but a lot are gay (LA, San Fran). Correct for that and it's probably the same as elsewhere.

I think the desirable men with game get more women than they can handle no matter what. The losers get none, even if they are the last man standing.

 

[maranathaman]

Several of the ladies i've been meeting lately make it clear when we talk that they are looking for a "long-term relationship".
I want that too! In that I want a long-term fk-buddy!
But they usually want to get married and a bunch of strings attached. It seems like alot of these ladies won't get sexual with me unless there is the undestanding that this is leading towards marraige, but i don't want to be trapped in a marraige, because the guy usually get the short-end of the stick. So what do i do?

 

[Genghis Juan]

maranathaman:

I am not sure what the age range was of the women you just described was; I would assume around 26 or more.

I would suggest to date women that are younger, they would be more willing to just go with the flow and be your F buddy. Of course, you would have to deal with the immaturity and more stupid games, but what would you care if you're just looking to F?

My 2 cents.

 

[Hypoxia II]

Juan is right

Most of the women i meet are in the 21-25 range. I tell them long b4 anyhting ever happens i want a buddy and nothing more. im not a LTR kind of guy right now. They all say the same thing, "That's exactly what I'm looking for!".
However, once the transaction has been made, the drama begins.

Whats a guy to do? sex good, drama bad. I just deal with it though.


________________________________________
all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
...Teenagers do not want to have anything to do with their parents no matter if the parents are in their 40's (like me) or 60's.

Do not fall into the hollywood trap that your life will be like the Brady Bunch. It won't...

I would advise people who think they want kids to think again. This is real life, not TV. Watch the movie "Thirteen" and decide if you want kids. You will change your mind!

Kids are a very expensive investment which often yields negative returns.

Sorry to be politacally incorrect

Dietzcoi

My son was born when I was 26, and my daughter when I was 28. I enjoyed not being too old as my kids were growing up. Being able to play sports and participate in other physical activities with them was both fun and helped in keeping us close. Kids are great, but only as great as the amount of time and effort you put forth towards parenting them. If you do a poor job of raising them, then don't expect them to be a joy.

As a parent, you get to take all the wisdom and experience you have learned in life, and pass it on to your kids. Did your parents do a perfect job in raising you? If not, you now have the opportunity to correct their mistakes when you raise your kids. In my opinion, each generation should do a better job as parents.

Nothing makes a house a home like kids.

 

[dietzcoi]

Crank it up

No disrespect here, but you sound like Ward Cleaver....

I guess it is good to have all opinions voiced here, however I am worried that anybody who is in the less than 25% of the population in happy marriages will encourage these younger guys to jump in.

Bad idea guys.

Better to be a little cautious than to jump in like Crank did.

Or, get ready to play roulette... RUSSIAN roulette!!!

Dietzcoi

 

[Crank_It_Up]

Originally posted by dietzcoi
Crank it up

No disrespect here, but you sound like Ward Cleaver....

his wife was pretty hot...she still looked like a model in her late thirties


perhaps sounding like Ward Cleaver is better than eeyore the donkey from winnie the pooh.

there was a song on Hee Haw that went like this:

"Gloom, despair, and agony on me.
Deep dark depression, pain and misery.
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
Gloom, despair, and agony on me"

Sound familiar?

 

[dietzcoi]

Take off the rose colored glasses......I guess they have doen a good job of keeping you from seeing what is going on in our society lately.

I guess that is what prozac can do for you, huh? Maybe I should try some.

If you are so happy then you don't need to be on this site. Go back to living in the matrix....

Dietzcoi