Thoughts??

Nn877

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
170
Reaction score
10
So girlfriend and I pretty much realized we aren't compatible and constant fights and no major growth in the relationship has strained us for awhile...partially my fault due to commitment issues but I do love her.

Current dilemma one part of our relationship never had issues was sex...sex life is perfect. I went over her place tonight had sex and she wanted me to leave to not make things complicated lol Im not gonna lie I was kinda hurt due to basically being used but whatever. She wants to have sex but clearly states we shouldn't be together. What are you're thoughts on that?
 

Between_The_Lines

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 2, 2014
Messages
606
Reaction score
48
Location
Miami
It's one of life's more cruel little jokes to find yourself someone you can set the sheets on fire with but have little or nothing else in common. If she's willing to continue having sex and scrap the relationship part aside, go for the ride but be prepared for when she abruptly pulls the plug on sex as soon as she finds herself a new dude to fulfill her in more ways than one.
 

.Bing.

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2014
Messages
73
Reaction score
25
Nn877 said:
I was kinda hurt due to basically being used but whatever.
How was the sex? Don't put yourself in a position to be used

Nn877 said:
She wants to have sex but clearly states we shouldn't be together.
She will end the sex with you when she opens hers legs for another visitor.

Nn877 said:
What are you're thoughts on that?
Save yourself from being used and keep your dignity, walk away from this.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
964
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
Nn877 said:
She wants to have sex but clearly states we shouldn't be together. What are you're thoughts on that?
It really depends on you.

If you are still in love with her, it's going to hurt, so best thing is just to say "Thanks, it's been fun" and then walk away, start again.

If you can cut her off emotionally, then it is win-win for you. Go round, shag her whenever the opportunity is there, and then don't spend another minute longer with her than it takes to wipe your dyck and get out.
But if you go down this path, then you absolutely MUST make her your lowest priority. If you have any other options, then they come first.
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,565
Reaction score
192
I'll give you the same advice I gave the other guy this morning. Dump her FIRST. She will find a replacement, if she hasn't already, and then no more sex for you. Walk. Well, maybe bang her one last time. Then walk.
 

Nn877

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
170
Reaction score
10
I ended it with her I know myself well enough and would be difficult just having sex with someone i was emotionally invested in.

UPDATE: so since we split I decided to delete some pics off fb which I thought was appropriate, she texted me last night saying can u pls call me, so I did.

She was so pissed I deleted pics I was like wtf is going on right now we broke up why are you mad I deleted pics. She was trying to backtrack seemed like she just wanted to step back not break up idk am I in the wrong? What do u guys think?
 

Moroder

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2014
Messages
145
Reaction score
18
Location
Old Europe
Nn877 said:
She was so pissed I deleted pics
Just another reason why I am not on fvcking FB. Ending a relationship means to pull the plug, to discard those pictures, souvenirs etc. This is a crucial step for closure and by all means a healthy idea. But if you are on FB, the whole world is watching you. Brrrr.
OP, my advice is to shut off each and any contact with your ex. Delete her on FB, too, or you'll probably find yourself cyber-stalking her 200 times a day. Every means of communication you leave open/available will give her an opportunity to seep into your thoughts/emotions and fvck up your closure and prevent you from getting to terms with it. My 2 cents, wishing well.
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,565
Reaction score
192
Moroder said:
Just another reason why I am not on fvcking FB. Ending a relationship means to pull the plug, to discard those pictures, souvenirs etc. This is a crucial step for closure and by all means a healthy idea. But if you are on FB, the whole world is watching you. Brrrr.
OP, my advice is to shut off each and any contact with your ex. Delete her on FB, too, or you'll probably find yourself cyber-stalking her 200 times a day. Every means of communication you leave open/available will give her an opportunity to seep into your thoughts/emotions and fvck up your closure and prevent you from getting to terms with it. My 2 cents, wishing well.
Yeah...fvck a facebook. Girls get waaaaay too much validation off that crap. Cutting contact means all platforms; phone, text, email and FB. Plus she won't be able to stalk you online and see what you're up to. Her hamster will go apesh*t if you delete your profile.
 

SeymourCake

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
1,534
Reaction score
370
Nn877 said:
I ended it with her I know myself well enough and would be difficult just having sex with someone i was emotionally invested in.

UPDATE: so since we split I decided to delete some pics off fb which I thought was appropriate, she texted me last night saying can u pls call me, so I did.

She was so pissed I deleted pics I was like wtf is going on right now we broke up why are you mad I deleted pics. She was trying to backtrack seemed like she just wanted to step back not break up idk am I in the wrong? What do u guys think?

You did the right thing. She's trying to make you feel guilty for what you did. The relationship is over and now she can't believe you're showing signs of moving on because she knows you will find someone. Now go complete No Contact and don't answer her calls or texts.
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,565
Reaction score
192
God forbid you move on and quite possibly...find a chick better/hotter than her. I agree with Seymour, you're moving the fvck on and she's not ready for that. Too bad.
 

Nn877

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
170
Reaction score
10
Yeah I know right...it's crazy because she was the one who initiated "I don't love you as much anymore, etc." and then wanted to reduce our relationship down to jus sex. Okay then why you getting mad I'm moving on. She kept saying I'm over dramatic and why can't we just be friends
 

GS750

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,565
Reaction score
192
Friends? So...she doesn't want to be with you but wants to keep you in her life. For what? In case she decides to get back with you at some point? Been down that road before and it's not worth it. Sorry babe...you can't hold onto my balls. I'll be taking them with me. Go NC.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,637
Reaction score
2,638
She wants you around until she can find someone else then dump you hard.
 

Nn877

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
170
Reaction score
10
This was my thinking as well GS and el p, I also forgot to mentioned few months back I also told her I didn't want to move in with her and she was really hurt by this as if I wasn't progressing the relationship.

Maybe she was unsure about things and i bombed on her first so she is now retracting...maybe she was enticing me to commit more? But her plan backfired
 

SeymourCake

Banned
Joined
Apr 9, 2010
Messages
1,534
Reaction score
370
Nn877 said:
Yeah I know right...it's crazy because she was the one who initiated "I don't love you as much anymore, etc." and then wanted to reduce our relationship down to jus sex. Okay then why you getting mad I'm moving on. She kept saying I'm over dramatic and why can't we just be friends
You can't fall for her trap in being friends. It is really disrespectful to go from a relationship, and downgrade to a friendship. They do that so they can keep tabs of you. Basically, she wants to push you to the side while she finds someone who would screw her and dump her so then she can go back to you. NEVER be friends with your exes. They are there to make your life miserable by being in the way of your next relationship and to make it awkward.

Lesson Seven

This young man thought he had become successful with his desire. Boyfriend and girlfriend were they; the hard awkward early moments finally gone. All was good! Except…

“I am hungry,” (are they not always hungry!?). “Fetch me lunch.”

Poor young man! He had enough wisdom not to do this earlier, but now, he told himself, “She is my girlfriend. I must make her happy!”

He brought her lunch. After feeding her face, was she satisfied? NO! For she said, “I need to do this and this at work today. It would be wonderful if you would go get the supplies for me.”

And off the Nice Guy went! And when he returned, there was another task. Poor Nice Guy! On and on it went! More tasks, more chores, he became wrapped around her finger.

Then, it happened: “I think we should just be friends,” she said.

The Nice Guy was devastated. But also, he was puzzled. He did everything he could to please her, and this was the result?

“Ahh,” he realized. “By pleasing her whims, I lost track of mine. A servant you’ll be, a friend she’ll see. As…


“Respect is All.”

“But Pook, why!? Why would respect be so vital?”

“I’m not equipped to answer such a question. Let us ask a Great Philosopher.”

And then, out of nowhere, appeared Socrates!

“Attention Socrates! You have been summoned! Did you know that? Answer the question that is respect.”

And Socrates replied, “That’s an easy one, Pook. Where there is reverence there is fear, but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear, because fear presumably has a wider extension than reverence.” Socrates then vanished in a whirl of bluish smoke.

“Oh wise sage! Salient soul! Respect is the realization of set boundaries. After all, how can reverence become without any sense of fear (of you walking away!)? For true passion with women can only come when the man can easily walk away; the Great Catch walking away is woman’s Great Fear.”

“Walk away?”

“Yes. Now let us ask a question to that opposite sex. Arise woman!”

The woman enters with flare and fire.

“Answer this riddle, why do men who are willing to walk away turn you on?”

And the woman laughs. “Didn’t everyone know this? A man that can walk away means that he has his pick of the litter and the woman can easily be replaced. You won’t find the lawyer or doctor or politician be entangled to a woman at first.”

“Away you go!” The woman melted in a blaze of fire and flame.

“So the Great Catch is always willing to walk away?”

“The Great Catch is respect. She is supposed to celebrate life with you, not use you as a peon. Be a man and respect attends to itself.”
 

beyondunplugged

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 13, 2014
Messages
17
Reaction score
0
You did the right thing. Cut her out of your life completely.

My advice? Don't overanalyze this. Accept it and move on to bigger and better things. Keeping her around is only going to make it that much harder to get rid of her later.

YOU KNOW THE DRILL.
 
Top