Thoughts on what happened?

[NewMan]

Long story short.

This old(er) nasty bar tender slapped my F' buddy's a## on Friday night.

I heard the smack and turned around to see the he had slapped her on the a## as her was walking back behind the bar.

She looked mortified. And walked aver to me with this look like "Did that just happen?"

Now - there are several things to go on here.

1) we are fvck buddies. There is no relationship - we've been to the bar together - but I've also gone home with other girls from this bar.

2) This guy does it to a number of women there. Mostly the Bar riff raff girls. I know he's slapped her a## before - before I even hooked up with her - so this is not something that has never happened before.

Now.

At the time I was cross between several methods of actions.

I instantly got defensive and was going to confront him about this - but changed my mind for several reasons.

1) She's just a F buddy. and I've made it clear to her countless times that it's nothing more. I didn't want to give anyone - especially her - any other idea.

2) This is not something that just happened. He done it to her before - before I even hooked up with her.

So I did nothing at the time. She wanted to hug me for some reason but I told her No.

When we left - I told her that I was dissapointed that she would allow someone to do that to her. That that is a sign of a woman without class. She stated that "He's just a man" and that "She has told him not to do that before but he's a man and doesn't listen".

I told her that if she thought that she was stupid.

I told her - "I'm a man and you don't see me slapping every girl in the bars a## when I walk by do you"

Also:

"I you really wanted to stop it you would. You don't see him slapping XYZ's a## - Why? because he would never get away with it. You let him ger away with it"

After some discussion she agreed with me.

Now.

What to do?

A part of me really wants to fvck with this guy - and I'm having trouble dealing with it - because deep down this chick is only a fvck buddy. It's never going past that. I feel like it's not worth my time and effort. It's also made me think to blow his F buddy of mine out of the water. It's great to have some regular poon - but knowing that this kind of thing was exceptable to her - just kindea makes me squirm.

Thoughts?

 

[MindOverMatter]

F*ck buddy = no emotional attachment, you could care less about what the person is like, who they are sleeping with, as long as you're still getting some.

I think you are lying to yourself when you say you only see the girl as a f*ck buddy and then saying it bothers you that she has no class. It's ridiculous to expect a girl that is only with you for no-strings attached sex to have class.

If you don't mind having a no strings-attached sex relationship with a girl that may well be opening her legs for every greaseball bartender, waiter, bouncer, automechanic, wallet parker...then by all means keep her as a f*ck buddy. But if this lack of class bothers you, then ditch her ass and find yourself a girl with class.

Can't have it both ways imo.

 

[Big Pappy]

Living in the south, I'm inclined to understand what you're having a problem with. When this jerk slaps her a**, he's basically slapping everybody that sees it. When you see this, you want to say, "Hey, treat people with more respect!" Then when he says what's the big deal, you want to put knots on his forehead.

What we would all love is when a woman is so into us that we get sex with the great women and then they stay alone waiting until we're available.

This just doesn't happen for very many people, if any. And it certainly doesn't happen with every woman we want to lay.

My best advice is to recognize that you care about your f*buddy more than you may think. Remember, there's a reason why they're buddys. They're cool about things the way other chicks aren't.

But, really, if this girl were to get all upset about a guy slapping her butt, then she'd be getting all emotional about why you didn't call her after you laid the smack down her crack.

Be careful what you ask for, you may get it.

 

[NewMan]

Well you are right in the fact that she wants more from me. She wants a relationship - and she has told me on many occations, that if I only new how she felt about me.

2 occations when she had a little to much to drink she told me she loved me.

That caused me to re-think the whole situation - but after her telling me that she knows I am not interested in a relationship - and she can live with that - I began banging her again.

I guess my whole initial problem was that I felt this guy took libities with MY girl. That was my initial feelings. But then I thought why would I think that? especially since I've never laid claim to us being "Together" - and I've made it clear that I don't want anything more than what it currently is.

I'm assuming this guy knows I'm fvcking her - but I could be wrong.

 

[penkitten]

let me talk you thru the ******** here hun....

first off , your fek buddy is telling you when she is drunk that she loves you. you say you dont want a relationship. she says whatever she has to , in order to keep you interested in her.
she does want more...


you want more too and are afraid to admidt it. otherwise you would realise that someone slapping her ass was only a compliment that she had a great ass. she didnt get upset because she "knew she still had it" feeling was great to her. however you got upset because she didnt get upset.

 

[NewMan]

You are correct - except for the fact that I want more. I don't. I know she does.


It actually boils down to the fact that she would allow some old greasy Mo Fo to do that.....

My opinion of her has changed.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

It is not the old(er) bartender who is nasty (as you state) - it is your hor who emits the disagreeable stench!!

Don't get upset when a dude respects a hor as a hor. I know, I know, I know - you are saying , "But she is my hor!!!"

The issue is that you feel disrespected because bar dude knew she was with you - he assumed you knew that she was a hor and a hor is everyone's property and he treated her as he knows her in her hor status! Do you think you were the first guy to bring her to that bar?? You will not be the last!!!

Don't get upset with reality!!!

Do nothing but acknowledge her hor status and respect her as such and nothing more!!! Don't get you a$$ killed over a hor - expect NO respect from others when keeping such company!!