Thoughts on a New Dating Prospect

[bmp2cpm]

All,

I would like to hear some thoughts from all of you on a new dating prospect that I met online. She seems high interest. She initiated contact. She writes to me every few hours. She got sick and had to reschedule and was profusely apologetic. She is the nicest online girl, I've met ever. Almost acts a little AFC with me.

She's not bad looking, 35, 5'7, not overweight. She's never been married, has no children. Her longest relationship was 4 years. She did not live with the guy. She's a paralegal.

Some of these stats are kind of normal for online dating, but here's the one that throws me for a loop:

She's never lived on her own. She's lived with her sister since they graduated college and the two of them owned a condo after college. And then last year, they bought a house together. I mean, if you are mid-thirties and even thinking about settling down with someone, would you buy a house with your sibling? She's Irish Catholic and is close to all her family.

Is not living on your own ever, a red flag ? Is buying a house with your sibling in your mid-thirties a big red flag? What happens if one of them wants to get married? Does the other sister try and sabotage the relationship so they don't have to sell the house? The whole thing seems weird!

Are the strong family values a plus?

I meet her in a few days, but would like to get some consensus from all you on this?

Avoid this one or try and date her? Can't hurt to meet her once, right?

 

[dustmuffin]

You are over thinking. You haven't been on a date and you already are thinking long term. Your objective now should be sex. Set up the date. Try to **** her. If not move on. Why in the world would you even think about these things. She has a vag. She is good for ****ing end of story.

 

[sodbuster]

Don't make LTR plans yet.... you haven't met her. See if the picture is for real and she is for real before you even think about long term.... BUT it is good that you are thinking

 

[channingtatum]

lol actually meet this girl before you even remotely think about this stuff..jeez, you shouldn't even have these thoughts until 6 months in! She could be fat in real life, annoying, may flake out again and again, be boring, not even like you, no chemistry, etc. Besides, she sounds like a woman with at least some decent financial sense about her to get some property since she's 35 and knows the man train is slowing down very quickly. I sort of applaud her - most women her age would have attached some beta they didn't like just to get a house and a ring, to only divorce him 7 years later.

 

[Sprayarc]

Remember right now she controls your perception of her by what she reveals to you.

 

[bmp2cpm]

All, thanks for your thoughts. My girlfriend left me a few weeks ago without warning, without saying goodbye and it's put me in a bad place, as you can see.

My biggest fear is she contacts me at some point, and if I dob't get better I cave and take her back.

I'm trying to online date a bit, so I can forget about my previous relationship. I probably am too intent on getting back into things. It just hurts. She planned her departure like a KGB spy. She changed her phone number. Her sister texted me it was over. The last moments I saw her she was giving me long kisses and holding on to me tight. I didn't realize it but she was kissing me for the last time and trying to hold on to that last memory forever. I feel like I've been hit by a bus. It's been a crazy few weeks.

I know need to get out and meet people in person, but I'm finishing end of year work projects and getting ready to move in a few weeks. So online dating is most time efficient for the next few weeks.

At the same time, I like a good mystery....this online girl isn't a 10, but she is too good looking to be acting all AFC online. Something was wrong.

In person, she's intelligent, good looking, nice, but something is off. It takes her a while to speak. There is zero body language expression. She drives a range rover but only drives short, back road trips and avoid the main roads at busy times.

After the meet and greet, I realized that she must have had a traumatic brain injury, possibly in a car accident.

She's been working for her father for 5 years, her longest relationship was 4 years. So I figure some kind of accident happened right when she was 29 or 30, Her boyfriend broke up with her because of it and she's been single for almost 2 years. That's my detective theory anyway. Playing detective keeps my mind off of the bad things.

 

[Desdinova]

She's never been married, has no children.

This is your potential red flag right here. She may be looking to squeeze a kid in before her time is up. Proceed with caution.

She's never lived on her own. She's lived with her sister since they graduated college and the two of them owned a condo after college. And then last year, they bought a house together. I mean, if you are mid-thirties and even thinking about settling down with someone, would you buy a house with your sibling?

This isn't really a red flag. If one of them ends up with a man, then one will either buy the other out, or they sell it together. The only thing is it may cause problems if you want to fvck at her place.

 

[bmp2cpm]

So I haven't pursued that girl since meeting her.

But I went on a meet and greet date Friday with another women, not expecting anything. I was even thinking of canceling. But this one looked much better in person than in her photos and for the first time since my girlfriend left, I started to forget about her. At the end of date I was like "What was my girlfriend's name?"

This girl is 12 years younger than me and attractive. But she has some major issues/red flags. From Argentina. She has been in the US for 8 years. Only stays in the US for her job which has long hours. Never married, has a 4 year old daughter from a relationship here in the US. The father doesn't help much. She's working on getting a green card so she can switch jobs and stay in the US. Too much, I think to deal with.

So I decided not to contact her after the date. Plus she seemed like she wanted to block any possibility of a good night kiss before I could get near her to say goodbye. But I was so surprised at how attractive she was, I didn't initiate kino the whole date. Other girls, no problem touching, but this one....I held back. I'm not sure why.

A couple days later, the girl from Argentina contacted me. I changed my mind and set up a 2nd date with her. She is attractive and she was the first girl to help me forget about my girlfriend. I think I might try to date her just though the holidays.

Also, I went on another date this weekend with a woman who works in the same field as I am and I got a second date from her. She's OK in the looks department, but is very thin. But I have a lot in common with this one.

Then there is a third online women who seems interested and I'll be going on a first date with.

I'm realizing one strategy with online dating is to have a good profile and not initiate anything. Just wait for women to come to you and then get the conversation going. It does seem the less interested I am with them, the more interested they are in me.

I spoke to the 3rd online girl tonight and I said an abrupt goodbye when she said she was getting tired. She immediatlely perked up and insisted we talk tomorrow too. lol

Bottomline.....It's been 1 month since my girlfriend left me and I have 3 dates this weekend. It really doesn't hurt much anymore. I'm starting to feel like I'm in a better place. I feel I know I can get a better woman than the girlfriend who left me. It's a good place to be.

I may stop the online dating after the holidays and spend a few months on just focusing on me, For the next few weeks online dating works.

I do worry that the girl I haven't met yet is intent on getting into a relationship with me. She's 39, in accounting, makes 75K, rents, never married, no children. I just want to do some light dating during the holidays not get into anything with commitment. I'm having some trust issues with women after this last relationship.

Thanks everyone for your assistance!