This woman is stalking me! Need assistance.

[rutgersman]

I only dated this woman for a month. I liked her a lot. But we got into stupid fight one night and she blew me off. Since then I have moved on, but for the last 8 months she has been toying with my emotions. She sometimes calls me once a month and leaves messages and write short emails..asking me how i am and how things are going?, etc, i have asked her out a few times..but she ignores my emails when I do ask her out. So i figured I would move on and forget about her. But when I do forget about her...she calls me or sends me an email.
Then she comes to my hotel job one day for a sporting event and calls me and tells me she is here at the hotel and would like to see me. Then when i called her back on her cell she blows me off. Doesnt answer her cellphone.
She came to my hotel job again 3 days ago for a bridal shower and she asks the manager at the front desk if I was working. Then when I walk to the ballroom area of the hotel---I see her and she is walking towards me----and she ignores me! I hadnt seen her in months and she does this to me?

I sent her an email asking her why she stalks me? She has acknowledged my email but she wont open it to read it. It says "Unread." WHAT IS HER DEAL? Does she hate men? Why is she this mean? I Know she is playing games. Its kind of charming, but stupid. I get angry. Sometimes i get the feeling that I want to slap her.

I am trying to move on with my life but she gets in touch with me every month or so and i feel pulled back in. What should I do?


Steve

 

[Desdinova]

Doesn't really sound like a stalking issue to me, it sounds more like game playing. She either likes the attention, or she's got some psychological problem where she needlessly contacts people she has no use for.

This reminds me of the retarded kid who always used to come around my workplace (office building), thinking it was a candy store. I'd tell him to go down the street where there WAS a candy store (but really wasn't). A few weeks later, he'd come back wanting to buy candy again.

 

[rutgersman]

ex-girl is ripping my heart out--how do I break free? Nexting her dont work.

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I only dated this woman for a month. I liked her a lot. But we got into stupid fight one night and she blew me off. Since then I nexted her, but for the last 8 months she contacts me every month or so and has been toying with my emotions. She sometimes calls me once a month and leaves messages and write short emails..asking me how i am and how things are going?, etc, Why doesnt she move on? i have asked her out a few times..but she ignores my emails when I do ask her out. So i figured I would next her and forget about her. But when I do forget about her...she calls me or sends me an email and pulls me back in.
Then she comes to my hotel job one day for a sporting event and calls me and tells me she is here at the hotel and would like to see me. Then when i called her back on her cell she blows me off. Doesnt answer her cellphone.
She came to my hotel job again 3 days ago for a bridal shower and she asks the manager at the front desk if I was working. Then when I walk to the ballroom area of the hotel---I see her and she is walking towards me----and she ignores me! I hadnt seen her in months and she does this to me?

I sent her an email asking her why she stalks me? She has acknowledged my email but she wont open it to read it. It says "Unread." WHAT IS HER DEAL? Does she hate men? Why is she this mean? I Know she is playing games. Its kind of charming, but stupid. I get angry. Sometimes i get the feeling that I want to slap her.

I am trying to move on with my life but she plays with me and is tearing me apart. What should I do?


Steve

 

[rutgersman]

so what do i do?

How can i respove this and make me come out on top...my self esteem is taking a beating. I want to be more powerful and confident in handling her. Nexting her wont stop the abuse.

steve

 

[Desdinova]

Nexting her wont stop the abuse.

You keep contacting her, therefore you're asking for it. If a woman is actively pursuing you, c0ckblocking you, spying on you, and spreading rumors about you after you've told her you're done with her, that's when you're being stalked.

You're not abused if you willingly go back for more.

 

[Hawke]

Hmmmmm, well i've been in a similar position a few years back and it was easy to solve. Well easy in the physical sense, emotionally it took time to get over her. Strangely it was similar to yours in that whenever i was over her, or close to, she'd appear or she'd invite me over or tell me she cared for me. Very weird at times, but i began to see it as a good test at overcoming by emotions. Learning to do what i want and not be controlled by what i feel.

If i were you i'd stop emailing, stop trying to contact her at all and push all thoughts of her out of your mind. That may take time i know, but stick with it and eventually you'll notice that you aren't even bothered about her. If you see her she's just there and you don't feel anything.

Dealing with when she turns up at your work place, if she ignores you then just smile to yourself and laugh it off. She's helping you get over her. If she speaks with you, be polite and talk back. If you think it's going to be hard to do then remember to be a man and put up with those feelings and ride through them. If she doesn't reply to your messages and emails, and their may be some good reasons behind that, just see them as reminders to move on. Again she's doing you a favor by not giving you a chance to reply back to her.

In time it will all pass.

 

[rutgersman]

brilliant topic.

When a woman dumps you and you move on...she pulls you back in when she senses jealousy or lack of desire for her. Thats When Women Wants You Back.

However, if this is the case...and you moved on. Is their any chance for reconciilation after a period of time? DOes this mean i should never get back with her again? Because if i date another girl..she may pursue me relantlessly until I give up and go back with her which she will dump me again?


How far can you take it...this girl may contact me for the rest of my life and I may think she is serious in getting back togther again---yet to later dump me. How do u win in the long term?

 

[rutgersman]

doesnt matter anymore. I finished her off for personal closure.

I just sent her a nasty email in the heading that says "You looked worn out...have a nice life..."

I know you guys would think that was dumb. But this has been going on for 6 months and its my way of closure.
Im glad I sent the email....cause it shows her that she isnt all that cute anyway. Sometimes negative comments are healthy for growth and breaking free of abusive relationships.


I feel much better now that I am officially done. with her.

Thanks.

 

[legolas]

Sh'e not toying with you. It's you who is playing her game!! Stop playing her game!!!

 

[rutgersman]

im done with her

m done playing her game...i just basically told her she was ugly..

thats my game. Now im goign to blow her off....no matter what she does or says....it dont matter....im not responding to her emails or calls anymore.

thats it were done.