This site is weak at maintaining attraction concepts

[Dhoulmagus]

I mostly see either how to get a girl or I just got dumped topics. The tactics used for maintaining attraction here is like the infant mortality rate before modern medicine. Either hope the kid lives past 1 or dump and have another one if it catches a cold and dies. Plus, I feel like the internet community is more diversified now. It was usually your standard nerd lurking the internet back in the day, but now it is everybody. Maintaining attraction for a nerd might be different for a guy that is in shape, social, and fairs well in looks.

 

[logicallefty]

Perhaps you should enlighten us on your methods in comparison to ours. You are right in some regard and that there might be some variation from person to person depending on other factors . I have posted about the variation thing at least once. But the real core here is tried and tested . To make a blanket statement that this whole site is wrong that's messed up dude.

 

[stevo]

We do talk about it, some people just choose to apply it where it fits or they choose to read what they want.

Maintaining attraction is basically you both enjoying yourself while the relationship lasts.

This means, you doing what you find fun. You continue to hold frame and your confidence plus you reaffirm your value into her subconscious.

It's that simple.

There's no manual on what to do day to day to carry on her attraction apart from this because (your/her) attraction is temporary and not guaranteed.

There would be an end date. Be it today, tomorrow, next 40years, at some point it would end but if you continue to be more exciting as a person (women don't like men who don't have an exciting life away from her while in a relationship with her, women do not like men who do not have anything going for them), she is less likely to give up the spot of being next to you.

Let's take it further.

If you keep satisfying her emotionally and sexually without putting her on a pedestal, she's more likely to stay.

From now till the end of your relationship continue bettering yourself, enjoying yourself, and subtly catching the little tips she drops on how to gain hold of her soul and implementing them like it was your idea to begin with.

This is something preached here on and on though with different wordings.

As you continue on your journey, you'd realize even girls from your past who wander off to try other dikcs would hit you up later on because out of those dudes none acted like you, none understood that the pussie didn't hold the power but they themselves did. I don't know about anyone else but I'm experiencing this now. They just start to crave your cokc all over again.

So my friend, if you want a specific generic formula for maintaining attraction till end of time, there is none. This is the part of the game were you personalize it and enjoy yourself that is what continues to spark her attraction to you.

Example: The difference between girls I used to know but still attracted to and girls that i used to know but not attracted to anymore is CHANGE.

When you pull up a picture of a girl from high school and you see that mama has gotten baaad and she's better'd herself, you'd most likely still wanna tap that.

Flip it.

If you pull up a picture of a girl from high school and she got fat or just not as well kept, uhm yeah i'd rather let my dikc sleep.



As for the nerds you mentioned, game is game. How you apply it is what matters. Game is so strong that a beta can apply it and get similar results. All that is required is initial female attraction.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

you are right and you are wrong.

you're right because sites like this and PUA gurus will never admit or take genetics into account.

to put it simply, some men are just *better* than others.

but that doesnt mean that some 25 year old virgin will not benefit from what he reads and the advice that is given to him at a site like this. he might not be up to par with other guys who have a natural born advantage with women but he CAN make a change that will improve his success with women and make an overall life change for the better

I never disagreed with that. I just think the demographics of the average internet user has changed and we have variation now. The market has become more diversified, but we are still offering the same product.

 

[Between_The_Lines]

Have you ever been a part of a LTR where your girl, although being in rather decent shape, decided to take up working out because - without her explicitly saying it - she wanted to keep up with you for the sake of keeping you? If I were to take a stab at boiling it down to as few words, I'd go with: lead and she will follow - the foundation for maintaining attraction.

By the way, is there some sort of back up reputation button to rep stevo again?

 

[skinnyguy]

This is why I left the site. I'm planning to start a company that helps men look better overall. Game won't make ugly guy look hot.

 

[Moroder]

I think this site has its merits. However, I would never consider the LTR advice given here the same way I consider the game advice (exception: retrospective analysis of failed LTRs, I've learned many many things here).
The main reason why I think LTR advice here is insufficient/poorly suited for real-life conditions is the constant preaching of "walk away any time". Ask anybody with a successful LTR, whether married or not, if it's just about being ready to walk away or if it's rather about standing tall when the shyt hits the fan. Couples who are together AND happy will most likely tell you they've had a bunch of shyt to deal with, but it worked out and that's why they are still together.
In "High Fidelity", Nick Hornby mentions a nice metaphor: Men are like sports cars, women are like volvo wagons. The sports car is fun do drive, very fast, but not suited for the long haul. And the volvo is just about the opposite. Well, he was talking about sex as far as I remember, but his comparison often comes to mind when looking at pickup vs. LTR. Use Sosuave for all it's worth, but keep in mind that an expert sports car crew has only a limited knowledge of Volvos. ;-)

 

[Zarky]

I mostly see either how to get a girl or I just got dumped topics.

Has this site ever been any different?

- I can't get my co-worker to f*ck me
- My girlfriend just dumped me
- All women are eeeeevil

Expect anything more here and you'll be disappointed. Advanced thoughts are not being posted in these forums.

Here's a post from nearly a decade ago... it could have been posted today:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=82647

 

[Trump]

I mostly see either how to get a girl or I just got dumped topics. The tactics used for maintaining attraction here is like the infant mortality rate before modern medicine.

Bro sorry to say but one thing you are good at is complaining. There is brilliant advice and concepts here for everyone. But when you don't apply them correctly and don't get results, the easiest thing to do is to come back and shame us.

There is lots of advice on how to maintain attraction concepts, if you actually read and apply the posts. :crazy:

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Bro sorry to say but one thing you are good at is complaining. There is brilliant advice and concepts here for everyone. But when you don't apply them correctly and don't get results, the easiest thing to do is to come back and shame us.

There is lots of advice on how to maintain attraction concepts, if you actually read and apply the posts. :crazy:

Really? Because all of the topics on the main page pretty much describe what I said. The only thing I can find is anti dump on this site. This isn't the only guilty site though. The only site I can think of that might have some anti dump advice is reddit(Cringe lol). That is mainly cause at least most posters are positive and not pessemitic and jaded like most male dominated sites.

 

[salinechow]

This is why I left the site. I'm planning to start a company that helps men look better overall. Game won't make ugly guy look hot.

Awesome kudos for your entrepreneurial spirit. Motivated to make a difference and some extra cash. Man with a plan. Sounds great.

But...

Without listing hundreds of examples... Being attractive is not even close to as important as people think. I would say it isn’t even important.

NONE is ever as ugly as they think in their own minds and insecurities. Thinking about it is a waste of energy. Spending energy on what can be changed and playing to ones strengths will always be more valuable then a perfect face. ESPECIALLY with women.

To the OPs point:

I mostly see either how to get a girl or I just got dumped topics. The tactics used for maintaining attraction here is like the infant mortality rate before modern medicine. Either hope the kid lives past 1 or dump and have another one if it catches a cold and dies. Plus, I feel like the internet community is more diversified now. It was usually your standard nerd lurking the internet back in the day, but now it is everybody. Maintaining attraction for a nerd might be different for a guy that is in shape, social, and fairs well in looks.

Finding, meeting, and the beginning of a relationship with chicks can be tough for some people. And... Fading attraction, fighting with and losing a girl is even harder for others. I think that is why there is so much posted about those two phases. Lets face it, that is when the emotional investment and a man’s vulnerability can be at its peak. Those are more of the times when he would need advice and support the most. Hence, would turn to a place like SS.

We all know the time in between in an LTR is actually pretty boring. Rewarding, maybe, comfortable, usually, but usually pretty average. Think of the posts then:

"My girl doesn’t want Chinese food again guys, please help!"

"Wore my shoes in the house again, now she told me her mother is staying the night. Is this a sh!t test?"

I think you are right in a way... people should stay in contact and still work on maintaining both inner and outer frame once they find a girl worth an LTR. I just dont think many will. The rest in the LTR and post less. So, there is less info and advice and threads on the topic.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Lol I guess go here for how to start amd end a relationship and reddit for maintaining.

 

[RangerMIke]

I do think many men come here looking for a magic pill.. an answer to a question and an immediate problem... and when one is not forth coming, they vent against the world... women... and the state of society.

The truth is that you have to work on yorself first... the worst off you are, the longer this will take. If you are not having success with women that you want, it takes a minimum of 6 months to get yourself to a point where you set yourself up for success.

Throw away your X-Box, stop looking at porn (totally messes up your game)work out, lose weight, get some interests, find a purpose. Get rid of your need to please women, which includes the realization of what really motivates women. Put yourself first because if you won't stand up for yourself and what you want, no one is going to have confidence in your ability to control anything or meet the needs of women.

A friend of mine, 42, just came off a 11 year marriage. Came to me for help getting his game back. He's dropped 30 pounds working out with me, I encouraged him to just start doing stuff that takes him out of his comfort zone. I asked him if there was ANYTHING that he had ever wanted to do but didn't because he thought it would be too hard. He told me that he always wanted to learn how to fly planes and speak French.

So I told him what I'm going to say now. TIME is going to pass anyway... you can use that time playing your X-Box in an imaginary fantasy world, or you can use the time to go and get what you want and build confidence in yourself rather than the PUA BS that just teaches guys how to pretend to be confident.

He took flying leasons, and now has his licence, and started taking French lessons at Alliance Française de La Nouvelle-Orléans. Just finshed his second series of condensed classes, and while he still isn't fluent... he has a new friend to help him. A totally hot French chick he's hooking up with who works at the French Consulate office, he met at a get together at a AFNO event.

If you go out and do interesting things that improve yourself as a human being, women are going to be attracted to you. This takes A LOT of work... if you are looking for quick solutions for problems, you will not find them here or anywhere for that matter.

 

[dasein]

The main reason why I think LTR advice here is insufficient/poorly suited for real-life conditions is the constant preaching of "walk away any time". Ask anybody with a successful LTR, whether married or not, if it's just about being ready to walk away or if it's rather about standing tall when the shyt hits the fan.

There is a very important distinction here. Life hands out lots of unavoidable issues that are real, everything from money, illness, family, friend issues. Those are to be mastered and moved past, not walked away from. How one handles those things is the definition of character.

Then there are the manufactured issues that are so prevalent in dealing with women today, amount to mistreatment, disrespect. They are not real, are trivial, yet for some reason very important to most women. After a point, walk away from those, and always have the attitude of limits to tolerance in place. Have one foot out the door where those things are concerned, and interestingly, they pop up much less frequently.

So the difference is, if shyt hits the fan, and it's real life shyt, toughen up and persevere. If it's shyt she made, or both of you made together, have a low threshold for such.

 

[Moroder]

So the difference is, if shyt hits the fan, and it's real life shyt, toughen up and persevere. If it's shyt she made, or both of you made together, have a low threshold for such.

Thanks for setting this straight, dasein. You saw what I was aiming at and nailed it.

 

[captain55]

Here is a little story for you guys. The last chick I dated was pretty damn fine. throughout the relationship, everywhere we went I had numerous hotter women hit on me.

I even told her before the first date, that I bet her 100 bucks I could make out with her on the first date. And I did...I

I gave the ***** her first orgasm. Hell it gets better- the guy she was thinking about dating before me, ended up getting rejected by a chick who I had a ONS with and kicked to the curb and she knew about it.

My point is that I as alpha as it could get. . Sometimes there is nothing you can do, hot young women get bored and think the grass is greener on the other side (when it never is) . No being alpha isn't a fool proof way to maintaing attraction because they're are always going to be other new (and more exciting) alphas around. As for keeping a girl, ask yourself is it worth it? To me, spinning plates is LESS time consuming, and more enjoyable than being some broads entertainment monkey.

 

[Huffman]

Expect anything more here and you'll be disappointed. Advanced thoughts are not being posted in these forums.

So can you recommend some better resources?

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Most of the good girls are nabbed up early on because why else would they lol. The leftovers are pretty much the damaged goods and defects that we have to deal with.

 

[Dhoulmagus]

Most of the good girls are nabbed up early on because why else would they lol. The leftovers are pretty much the damaged goods and defects that we have to deal with.

 

[Zarky]

So can you recommend some better resources?

Sadly, no. I did the fastseduction forums while they were up, tried the RSD forums for awhile, the PUAhate forums until they were shut down... guess I'm pretty apathetic these days. I come here mostly to laugh and shake my head and (very) occasionally get an idea which prompts a blog post.

If anyone knows of other forums with some advanced ideas, I'd love to know. The problem with most PUA forums is they're controlled by people trying to sell stuff. Like on the RSD forums there's one guy who claims to have banged 1700 women or something ridiculous. Of course he's selling something. This forum might be lame but at least sales (and marketing puffery) aren't pushed down your throat with every click.