This ***** online hurt me bad

[ImprovingJuan]

I was talking with this girl online and pushing conversation and asking why she would visit my profile and say nothing, until i tried to close for the #. This is what she said: Sorry for what im going to tell you, im very blunt. It happens that you dont have a manly face. If i was gay i would hit you for sure because you look gay. You look like you are a narcissistic, perfectionist kind of person, women dont like guys like that.

I guarantee you guys that i'm 100 % hetero, i dont act like one,dont dress like one and dont even talk like a gay guy or else i wouldnt be here learning the best way to get some ****in' ***** :cuss: where the **** did she pick up that i'm narcissistic, perfectionist kind of person by my pics? what does that have to do with being gay?

about manly face, i'm 38 but people give me less like 28/30. i recon that i dont have a manly face, i have a weak jawline but from that to not being a man.... damn what a shallow ****.

 

[narcissist]

Why do you care so much what some random woman over the internet has to say about you. Especially considering the fact that she went out of her way to insult you like that shows me she has major inner problems of her own.

Don't sweat it, you are wasting your precious time dwelling over such matters my friend. She, nor any other woman on this earth, is worth your PEACE OF MIND. Never forget that.

P.S. I have read some of your other threads and I have noticed that you have a fragile ego. Do not take offence, I have one too. We all have fragile egos until we work on eradicating the ego completely. Please, for yourself, start strengthening your core, and eliminating your ego. If you do, matters such as the one above wont phase you my friend.

 

[sylvester the cat]

You can't eradicate the ego but you can learn to master it. At best the ego works for your best interests. It's what keeps you from getting knocked over by a bus at the traffic lights. At worst it is your worst enemy as it perceives everything and everyone as a threat to its existence.

The woman was probably a guy with a fake profile. Either way she is not worth your time. Just delete and move on.

 

[ImprovingJuan]

i wonder how she judged me as a narcisist and perfectionist by a bunch of pics. just ****ing hilarious. just a dumb ***** that thinks she's all that.

 

[El Payaso]

You should have replied "I was thinking the same of you." and never respond after that.

 

[sylvester the cat]

i wonder how she judged me as a narcisist and perfectionist by a bunch of pics. just ****ing hilarious. just a dumb ***** that thinks she's all that.

the problem here isn't what she said or why she said it. the problem is that you care thus revealing on some level your own insecurities about yourself.

it's just a sh!t test and you caring means you fail.

 

[Tictac]

Until you get that what other people think about you is none of your business, expect problems.

 

[Partizan]

I was talking with this girl online and pushing conversation and asking why she would visit my profile and say nothing, until i tried to close for the #. .

Why would you ask her why she visited your profile and said nothing? Do you send emails to every profile you visit?

 

[Albatross953]

You gotta know, she's just using the site for drama.

 

[RedScorpion]

ImprovingJuan, I understand how you're feeling, because I've been there. For the following short story, I would consider myself decent in all attributes. I was doing a pub crawl with a group of people, towards the end/night part. I was leaning against the side railing in the club, literally minding my own business, and this girl (I had not even seen before) starts *****ing at me, saying I should gtfo, saying I don't belong here, blah blah (while she looks like a partial crackhead). So it degenerates into a shouting match, nothing good.

Yes it doesn't make sense. That's the frustrating part about it. It comes out of the blue for all appearances sake, and you can't find the rhyme or reason for it. It is entirely natural for yourself to look within, and feel like 'Well, there must be something wrong with me'. That's because your premise is under normal person thinking. You have that capability to look within and change yourself for the better. However, some people, who for all appearances are normal, do not have that same logic pattern as 98-99% of people.

Great example - BPD, see it many times on this forum. You get a girl who will flip your world upside down for seemingly no reason - but for her, she may crave that chaos (without recognizing it). The other 90% part of her is normal, and behaves normally. As a normal person, you trajectorize those behaviors to cover the gap - explaining the discrepancy as something that has happened (event), or that you caused it somehow. But the reality may be more of a logic pattern error in that space (beyond woman/emotional tendencies). And your brain won't comprehend it because all it knows is that one logic pattern - much like hers only know her own. Worst is, we will crave that understanding of what is going on - but it may never come to realize (as it's not nearly on the same wavelength).

A way of comparison, is say of computers - You are using windows, and she is a mac (but think her as a rare unknown homemade os). Same data (0,1), but handled differently. Seems very similar on the surface, does many of the same things - but what, only one mouse button? Your brain doesn't know how to patternize it. The hard thing is that you can't simply swap os to understand it, to go 'ah ok' (otherwise you wipe your understanding of your own). It's like you have to recognize that they are generally different, truly. You'll try to rationally plus where she'll always divide, no matter what.

As hard and annoying as it is, try not to dwell on it (although it's very easy to do, as I find myself). It's definitely hard to simply erase such an unjustified slight. But it may need a variance of it. If you don't see any logic in her stating those words, after your own quick review, then you have to isolate her as cuckoo, abnormal. Checking with friends/peers (or like with us) is a good reinforcer too - to make sure you're not actually the crazy one (which is again part of normal person behavior). It's sensible.

So - don't stress, even though it's very much easy to do.