I broke up with my gf a few moths ago. we were sleeping with each other weekly and had been going out for 6 months. Thinking back on it, she made me feel like hell because she didn't find me funny and was constantly barking commands at me. I have no idea why i went out with her for so long... So here's the problem: she's dating someone else now and even though the sight of her makes me angry, I can't help feeling bad about it. It's not jealousy but I feel like in order to completely rid myself of her I need to find someone else. Thoughts anyone?
This is so Illogical
- Thread starter Yogibear
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NorwegianDJ
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It's your investments. You have invested so much time and emotions in her, that it's natural for you to feel this way. Happens to everyone, because you lost something.
But for this to end, even tho it might feel good at times to reside in the emotions, you gotta deal with it. The best and most effective way of dealing with this is to go NO CONTACT. Remove her from your phone, facebook and anything that reminds you of her. But do not change your ways to avoid her. Another major thing is to SPIN MORE PLATES. Date other chicks. It gets your mind of her immediately.
But for this to end, even tho it might feel good at times to reside in the emotions, you gotta deal with it. The best and most effective way of dealing with this is to go NO CONTACT. Remove her from your phone, facebook and anything that reminds you of her. But do not change your ways to avoid her. Another major thing is to SPIN MORE PLATES. Date other chicks. It gets your mind of her immediately.
You must go to the root of your problem... Urgent! Yeah, I'm telling you, it's URGENT... Because if you fool around, it won't get you nowhere. You may find another one, but if you loose her, what's gonna happen? Right. Sorry NorwegianDJ, but trying to forget about her, that doesn't seem good to me, because the problem is still gonna be there, it's just gonna be "hidden", you know what I'm saying? I know its probably not what you were trying to say, you're telling to go no contact, maybe you mean to not care about her, am I right? Just to say, if you try to repress your feelings or run away from them somehow, they will blow up in your face one day... Cmon, we can do better then this.
The ROOT of the problem is what?
What do you want?
Approval? Stop it!! You must have your own approval, you won't need anyone elses.
Do you just want *****? That may be good, but it is not necessary. It counts more to just be happy and cool. (At least that's what makes sence to me now). So don't suffer about things you don't need. Only thing you need to be happy is to like yourself, and to know you are cool. You don't need no-ones approval, or a girl. Just use a porn site or something
. Or go NB, I've tryed that too.
Don't be angry... You want to be happy and healthy. Anger just will mess up your body. And plus it feels horrible. The only way you can be angry is if you have low self esteem... And girls shouldn't be able to impact on your self esteem!
Think about what I said a little bit, interpretate it the way you wanna. See you and good luck, remember to give us advice when you get through this hehe.
The ROOT of the problem is what?
What do you want?
Approval? Stop it!! You must have your own approval, you won't need anyone elses.
Do you just want *****? That may be good, but it is not necessary. It counts more to just be happy and cool. (At least that's what makes sence to me now). So don't suffer about things you don't need. Only thing you need to be happy is to like yourself, and to know you are cool. You don't need no-ones approval, or a girl. Just use a porn site or something
. Or go NB, I've tryed that too. Don't be angry... You want to be happy and healthy. Anger just will mess up your body. And plus it feels horrible. The only way you can be angry is if you have low self esteem... And girls shouldn't be able to impact on your self esteem!
Think about what I said a little bit, interpretate it the way you wanna. See you and good luck, remember to give us advice when you get through this hehe.
The ROOT of the problem is what?
I think it's that we spent so much time together and I'm confusing sexual attraction with emotional investment. Whenever i think about her, all i can remember is the sex, no conversations, no funny moments etc. I just miss the feelings associated with the sex and I'm upset because a good friend of mine is with her and that bothers me the most. I just need to find someone who legitimately appreciates me. Approval? Nah. I believe strongly in myself and I don't need anyone to validate me. Since the break up I've made a lot of new friends it's just seeing the two of them together bothers me. Give it some time and I should be fine.
Thanks for all the advice guys.
By the way, I'm like 99% sure that mxh123 is spamming us...
I think it's that we spent so much time together and I'm confusing sexual attraction with emotional investment. Whenever i think about her, all i can remember is the sex, no conversations, no funny moments etc. I just miss the feelings associated with the sex and I'm upset because a good friend of mine is with her and that bothers me the most. I just need to find someone who legitimately appreciates me. Approval? Nah. I believe strongly in myself and I don't need anyone to validate me. Since the break up I've made a lot of new friends it's just seeing the two of them together bothers me. Give it some time and I should be fine.
Thanks for all the advice guys.
By the way, I'm like 99% sure that mxh123 is spamming us...
intrextrovert
Don Juan
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It's normal amigo, only time and ***** make it go away. Jealousy, missing sex and negative thoughts, "he must be better than me cause she knows us both well and goes for him" or "she is better than me at getting action... she's more attractive to guys than i am to girls" stuff. Well, neither are true! These are natural, normal mind states to have in such a situation, but as you know they are bad, so just keep trying to ignore it. Also, if you haven't gotten much action recently it is a lot tougher.
You'll be good in time, and probably a short amount of it.
You'll be good in time, and probably a short amount of it.