Hey guys i need help pretty bad, you'll get the idea as you read more, sorry if this feels like an essay but i just had to do this, so most of you experienced guys get where i'm coming from and can give me some much needed help that i need.
Background
I came out to the states when i was 10 and around that age i really didn't care for girls or had any sense about relationships and all that other stuff, however during my middle school years i finally started getting knowledge about chicks and i was actually starting to get attracted to lots of hot girls like any guy would at that age. The thing with me though was that i would tell my friends that i like girl a or girl b and trusting them not to say nothing about it, however they would always call the girl over and tell them i liked them and i would always deny it or they would yell "that boy over there likes you" and when they say who, i would always run away and that was pretty much the story in middle school.
Before my freshman year even started in h.s. i went on vacation at my cousin house in nj like i normally used to do every summer before i started living there, anyways my cousin introduced me to this spanish chick and at that time i found her to be a perfect ten, before i even started talking to her i would talk about her all the time around anybody even though she had a bf, one night me and some ppl were over her house watching the mtv awards and we're just chilling, having a good time, but me i can't keep my mind off her and i want to do something to just impress this chick, so i offered to take the dishes in the back everybody was cool with it, but they weren't expecting me to wash her dishes and i mean everything in the sink (i still get teased for that to this day and i know that's one of the worse things i ever done)
I get the you're so sweet from her and i'm feeling good inside like yeah, i'm going to get something...(fast foward) before i left for ny to start h.s, i got her # and told her i'd call her everyday, i would call her everyday at a specific time and would use quotes from ask men or just act out of place towards her, i went back there the next summer and was heartbroken, not only did she ljbf me but i found out my own blood slept with her and she was just playing me.
I couldn't get over it for a few weeks until that same summer i ran into 4 friends and i was hitting on all of them, but the cutest one out of the bunch fell for me, we were cool and i guess the nice guy thing was working, but my mindset with any girl i like and get close with is to be in a relationship with them, anyways so far so good with this one, we would always keep in touch and i believe if i wasn't living in new york at the time that would have been my gf. I also met another girl my age while i was talking to the girl i met in the summer and this one was also falling for the nice guy act, she eventually took my virginity at 15 & from that day we were never the same, the other girl and i were cool still and we would talk now & then, summer 05 was here and i was going to finally stay in nj for good, so i saw the chick that i met the previous summer and i was once again heartbroken, i found out she didn't like me anymore and was in love with my friend.
Junior yr came around and it was weird as hell at first to be in an almost all white school, but i made the best of it even though i didn't know anyone outside of my cousin and his few friends and i was always shy, anyways i asked this one chick that i was working with to hook me up with her friend that was in my driver's ed class and she did, me and chick ended up going out even though i don't consider her my first gf because in the month we went out she would always blow me off when i wanted to hang out, we never kissed or had sex, so i eventually broke up with her.
Senior yr came and my goal was to have sex with as much as possible by any means neccesary and before 1st day of school started i had sex with this one chick thanks to my cousin who pretty much talked to her for me via text, but i cut that chick off because of the fact that she had hair in her crack and i wanted no part of it, anyways my cousin would still always do the talking for me via text and as a result i had sex with another girl. I still would try with other girls during my senior yr by myself and would get burned and then came feburary of this yr i met this chick and did about 75% of the talking, while my cousin helped with the rest, she fell for me, but i really didn't want any part of her (due to her being on the chubby side and her face being a 5), i just wanted to be sex buddies and we became that until i got tired of her. I did pretty much the same routine with every girl i met as h.s. came to a close and i got burned, expect for this one chick who has the type of body i like but, her face messes her up, she's really interested in me but i'm not and i know i can have her but i don't want to hurt feelings.
I believed i have tried everything from using myspace and doing the same routine to getting a girl or even having my cousin do the talking for me to get girls.
Personality
Positive- I get alot of comments on having a good smile, also i've pretty much changed my waldrobe, when i first got where i'm living now two years ago it was always baggy clothes, big tees & jerseys, but senior yr i started wearing polos and button ups, eventually i started going to the extreme and wearing stuff from american eagle, hollisters & aeropostale, due note that i'm black and only a few black people i know where those stuff in the area i live which is pre dominantly white. I get alot of good comments
about the colonge i wear which is fierce from abercrombie
Negative-I'm always shy, silent in group conversations, i lack confidence, whenever i start talking to a girl i like i start thinking way ahead
Closing
Anyways this is the first time i really opened up to anyone and i think this is the best place to do it, to be honest i wouldn't tell my cousins none of this because i would be teased. I would always try and make myself be on there level and lie about things. I would really appreciate if you guys would help me about this situation
Background
I came out to the states when i was 10 and around that age i really didn't care for girls or had any sense about relationships and all that other stuff, however during my middle school years i finally started getting knowledge about chicks and i was actually starting to get attracted to lots of hot girls like any guy would at that age. The thing with me though was that i would tell my friends that i like girl a or girl b and trusting them not to say nothing about it, however they would always call the girl over and tell them i liked them and i would always deny it or they would yell "that boy over there likes you" and when they say who, i would always run away and that was pretty much the story in middle school.
Before my freshman year even started in h.s. i went on vacation at my cousin house in nj like i normally used to do every summer before i started living there, anyways my cousin introduced me to this spanish chick and at that time i found her to be a perfect ten, before i even started talking to her i would talk about her all the time around anybody even though she had a bf, one night me and some ppl were over her house watching the mtv awards and we're just chilling, having a good time, but me i can't keep my mind off her and i want to do something to just impress this chick, so i offered to take the dishes in the back everybody was cool with it, but they weren't expecting me to wash her dishes and i mean everything in the sink (i still get teased for that to this day and i know that's one of the worse things i ever done)
I get the you're so sweet from her and i'm feeling good inside like yeah, i'm going to get something...(fast foward) before i left for ny to start h.s, i got her # and told her i'd call her everyday, i would call her everyday at a specific time and would use quotes from ask men or just act out of place towards her, i went back there the next summer and was heartbroken, not only did she ljbf me but i found out my own blood slept with her and she was just playing me.
I couldn't get over it for a few weeks until that same summer i ran into 4 friends and i was hitting on all of them, but the cutest one out of the bunch fell for me, we were cool and i guess the nice guy thing was working, but my mindset with any girl i like and get close with is to be in a relationship with them, anyways so far so good with this one, we would always keep in touch and i believe if i wasn't living in new york at the time that would have been my gf. I also met another girl my age while i was talking to the girl i met in the summer and this one was also falling for the nice guy act, she eventually took my virginity at 15 & from that day we were never the same, the other girl and i were cool still and we would talk now & then, summer 05 was here and i was going to finally stay in nj for good, so i saw the chick that i met the previous summer and i was once again heartbroken, i found out she didn't like me anymore and was in love with my friend.
Junior yr came around and it was weird as hell at first to be in an almost all white school, but i made the best of it even though i didn't know anyone outside of my cousin and his few friends and i was always shy, anyways i asked this one chick that i was working with to hook me up with her friend that was in my driver's ed class and she did, me and chick ended up going out even though i don't consider her my first gf because in the month we went out she would always blow me off when i wanted to hang out, we never kissed or had sex, so i eventually broke up with her.
Senior yr came and my goal was to have sex with as much as possible by any means neccesary and before 1st day of school started i had sex with this one chick thanks to my cousin who pretty much talked to her for me via text, but i cut that chick off because of the fact that she had hair in her crack and i wanted no part of it, anyways my cousin would still always do the talking for me via text and as a result i had sex with another girl. I still would try with other girls during my senior yr by myself and would get burned and then came feburary of this yr i met this chick and did about 75% of the talking, while my cousin helped with the rest, she fell for me, but i really didn't want any part of her (due to her being on the chubby side and her face being a 5), i just wanted to be sex buddies and we became that until i got tired of her. I did pretty much the same routine with every girl i met as h.s. came to a close and i got burned, expect for this one chick who has the type of body i like but, her face messes her up, she's really interested in me but i'm not and i know i can have her but i don't want to hurt feelings.
I believed i have tried everything from using myspace and doing the same routine to getting a girl or even having my cousin do the talking for me to get girls.
Personality
Positive- I get alot of comments on having a good smile, also i've pretty much changed my waldrobe, when i first got where i'm living now two years ago it was always baggy clothes, big tees & jerseys, but senior yr i started wearing polos and button ups, eventually i started going to the extreme and wearing stuff from american eagle, hollisters & aeropostale, due note that i'm black and only a few black people i know where those stuff in the area i live which is pre dominantly white. I get alot of good comments
about the colonge i wear which is fierce from abercrombie
Negative-I'm always shy, silent in group conversations, i lack confidence, whenever i start talking to a girl i like i start thinking way ahead
Closing
Anyways this is the first time i really opened up to anyone and i think this is the best place to do it, to be honest i wouldn't tell my cousins none of this because i would be teased. I would always try and make myself be on there level and lie about things. I would really appreciate if you guys would help me about this situation
