This is how to be a REAL Man

[Maeisgood]

1) Does anyone else think its sort of hard to be a real man in today's world?

In movies, there's always fights, stuff blowing up, danger, all sorts of ways for men to be manly and turn chicks on. The real world is tame, boring, predictable. In the real world, people who actually pursue these things usually end up just doing something stupid. In the past, there were wholly mammoths to hunt, other tribes to fight, etc.

2) What are ways to be "hard" in a modern world?

3) Most cultures have some sort of ritual in which one officially is regarded as an adult or a man. In main stream American culture, what is that for becoming a man? Graduation from High School? College? Losing virginity? What is it? Living off one's own job? Marriage? Kids? I'm not sure if there is one or that many people never truly grow up.

 

[MightyMike]

These are strictly my opinion, you're welcome to differ:

1) Yes, women have become more self-dependent, while men have goaded themselves into thinking that being more "feminine" is okay. Bullsh!t. The gender gap is closing, and masculine guys are being shunned by pop psychologists because they don't seem "sensitive" enough.

2) For starters, at least looking like you hit the gym every now and then. Not because looking good will make you a man, but because working out tells me you're not lazy, and have enough self-discipline/commitment to work hard towards a good standard. A real man is defined by his attitude and how far he is willing to go to achieve his goals (life goals, career goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals etc). The results don't matter, but the process of suffering does. The longer you stay in the fight, the more of a man you are. Rocky lost in the first movie, but that didn't make him any less of a man than Apollo Creed. While we're on that, if you want to be "hard", then go ahead and take some Krav Maga/Jeet Kune Do/MMA classes, or anything else that is practical enough to actually do some damage should a street fight ever arise. The confidence you gain from doing martial arts is like no other for a guy.

3) Rituals don't necessarily define the true process of becoming a man, much like how the legal adult age of 18 in the US makes very few 18 yr old guys "men" in the truest sense. I would say, however, that becoming a man in American culture usually requires one to be financially self-dependent. However, that's merely a prerequisite, not what defines manhood.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Does anyone else think its sort of hard to be a real man in today's world?"

Its not politically correct and feminist approved to practice positive masculinity in todays world so yes it is hard to be a "real man" in this day and age but those who step up to the plate and do it in the face of societal shaming usually go on to have a great deal of success in life that they wouldn't of had otherwise remaining a societally approved AFC. Thats just the thing though. The powerful are all about keeping the less powerful down and by attacking masculinity and making a joke of it the powerful feminists and feminist controlled politically correct mainstream media make great strides to hold onto their power. The poster TheHumanist is a great example of a politically correct de-masculinized male and I mean no offense to him but this is just how he comes across to me when I read his posts. I run into guys like him all the time in the real world and it just saddens me to see how much power they willingly turn over as the result of feminist shaming tactics.

"In movies, there's always fights, stuff blowing up, danger, all sorts of ways for men to be manly and turn chicks on. The real world is tame, boring, predictable. In the real world, people who actually pursue these things usually end up just doing something stupid. In the past, there were wholly mammoths to hunt, other tribes to fight, etc.

2) What are ways to be "hard" in a modern world?"

If Jackprescott weren't banned I'm sure he'd tell you to get a bag of yeyo and become a gangbanger heh heh but I'll give you the Interceptor type of answer and say that there are a few ways.

Become an MMA fighter or get seriously involved in someother kind of fighting discipline be it another martial art style or boxing and follow ancient samurai codes of morality and live by them despite any societal ridicule or shaming you may get. To spit at society's expectations and refuse to live in the box they place out for you as well as living this kind of a warrior's lifestyle with a strong moral code to guide you would indeed make you a "hard" man even in a modern world and yeah it doesn't even have to be you getting involved in fighting. Just taking up a dream that you have and going all out for it works fine as well.

Also there is always the option of becoming a Navy Seal...

"3) Most cultures have some sort of ritual in which one officially is regarded as an adult or a man. In main stream American culture, what is that for becoming a man? Graduation from High School? College? Losing virginity? What is it? Living off one's own job? Marriage? Kids? I'm not sure if there is one or that many people never truly grow up."

A ritual was never needed. Rituals came about as a result of humanity's struggle to figure out the planet and themselves after we evolved from being ridiculous looking chimplike creatures. The struggle to understand ourselves and our world invented rituals, religion and many other stupidities until more enlightenment and knowledge was attained through philosophy, science and inventions and whatnot.

Anyway the point is we have figured ourselves and our world out pretty good now which means no more spooky mysticism like rituals is needed to confirm your man status but you can do one if it makes you happy and makes you feel better, infact because of understanding ourselves so well we can do whatever we want surrounding this issue and if its nothing at all then so be it.

Thats what the morons out there who worship the movie Fight Club were missing from the actual core message of it.

During the movie the Tyler Durden character tells Ed Norton's character that he decides his own level of involvement and what he wants to do for Project Mayhem which in other words means he can do whatever he wants. He doesn't have to follow some pre-conceived plan that was already layed out for him. He gets to make his own plan and chart his own direction.

Thats what our human enlightenment and thousands of years of questioning have helped us discover so as to do away with rituals forever if we so choose to for ourselves.

It is the ultimate power and freedom to chart one's own course.

 

[Maeisgood]

Good insight everyone. I'd like more responses though. I got interested in this topic after watching primitive societies on travel channel. I also noticed that some people who are seniors in college still refer to themselves and others as "kid" and I'm not sure how long that term can apply.

 

[WalkingStick]

1) While we can't all be James Bond and wholly mammoths are in short supply, a man doesnt need to prove himself with these things. Like you said, you cannot go looking for dangerous and exciting things to do. A man does what needs to be done. If that happens to involve breaking some necks and shooting some rockets, so be it. There are fewer opportunities in today's world, but whatever it is, you cannot let them pass.

2) As mentioned, being strong and having the ability to fight will certainly make you look and fight like you are "hard". I think a hard man acts a certain way. He doesnt allow people to push him around, he stands for what he believes in, takes responsiblity for his own actions, and kicks ass only when ass needs kicking. There is a way to go over the top with being "hard". Especially in certain age groups, most guys who act hard are actually wimps.

3) As far as the law is concerned, a man is a male who is 18. But not all males of that age act like men. Some males are minors, but more masculine than those who the law considers "men". I think there is a certain event in most guys lives that serves as an entrance into manhood, sometimes it comes early, sometimes it is passed up and the male is never truly a man. Simply because a boy "becomes" a man through a ritual does not mean he acts like one. A man is a male who takes responsiblity for more than himself. When the male begins to lead, provide, and protect; he is a man.

 

[wavejams007]

you haven't become a man till you go to sparta and partake of the Agoge.

just kidding.

seriously, being a responsible, notable, and respectful man in today's society is a good indication that you are a man, as these three things, among other virtues, are not as common among most men as they should be.