This is all so stressful...

[SteR]

Hey guys

I've been registered to this forum for some time now but have never really made a concious effort to be come a DJ. Please take not this post is pretty long but I'll try to keep it as short as I can .

I'm 23 and have just graduated from college and I think it's fair to say I'm a bit of an AFC. Now although I say I'm an AFC, I do believe that I have a fair bit of self-confidence. I know I am a pretty attractive guy (I get told this by girls quite a lot haha). I'm a bit out of shape due to my lack of being able to work out towards the end of term and eating crap but I'm steadily getting myself back into decent shape - I'm already pretty well built from playing football for so long but I just have an extra layer of fat that I need to get rid of so I can stop feeling so self concious.

Anyhow, I'm looking to get better with women but I'm just finding this pretty tough. My first problem is that my self-esteem is a bit poor at the moment and I think it's because I've just finished college and have been unemployed for almost 8 weeks now + I'm not in as good shape as I used to be. I wanted to have like 6 weeks off after graduating before looking for work but since I've been looking, I haven't had much luck and I'm getting a bit bored to be honest. It doesn't help that I have nothing to do except look for work and I find myself thinking a bit too much as of late and it's getting me down - 'why do i not get more women? what's wrong with me? blah blah blah'.

Now, to get to the real issue.. I'm starting to feel a bit depressed about this whole 'picking up women' crap. I think the real issue is that I'm 23 now, I KNOW I am a good looking guy with a lot to offer and I feel like I'm just 'wasting' myself if you get what I mean.. I mean I know guys who are ugly as hell who get loads of girls and here I am, a good looking guy, who's fun to be around etc and I ain't getting ****.

I think part of my problem is that I have pretty high standards and I'm still pretty shy. I went through a stage at college where I was happy to pull ugly, fat girls etc for a bit of a confidence boost but I know I can do it now and to be honest.. it's pretty boring and pointless. Plus I only did this when I was pretty damn drunk and then I'd wake up the next day and think 'oh **** why did I do that'.
I also didn't get to go out and party as much as some of my friends during college because of football. I was pretty dedicated and didn't drink very often and trained hard etc. Obviously now that is over I go out a lot more but my confidence at approaching women has taken a bit of a knock and so I feel like I'm back @ square 1.

I've tried reading a lot of the material on this site and it has helped a bit. I mean I'm pretty good at having converstions with women (ie. being ****y and funny etc) but ONLY when I'm relaxed and not totally ****faced (I almost always only go for women when in bars/clubs with my friends). I almost certainly find the hardest part to be the approach. I used to find it hard back when I was a bit more active @ the approaching thing but now I just feel like it really is too difficult a task :S and I feel like a complete tit when starting conversation as I feel I'm keeping it too 'serious' rather than fun and laid back. However this is not always the case and sometimes I'm just in 'the zone' and can talk with girls no problem - I'd just like to be more consistent at it .

I guess the hardest part for me is getting back into the spirit of things and just having fun with it all. Because I'm so desperate to start getting more girls I find myself analysing the situation too much and I keep losing my nerve when it comes to approach time and feeling really down about it.
I think a lot of it stems down to the fact that I keep feeling like the conversation will go nowhere - before it's even started! Anyway I was just wondering whether anyone on these boards has been in a similar situation as me and I'd like to hear how you managed to change it around.

Like I said I have tried reading a lot of the info on this site but I just find it all too much to take it. I mean I honestly can't work out how a person could absorb all this information and use it without getting confused and tongue-tied .

Thanks for reading

 

[Last Man Standing]

Putting yourself in social settings is the key!! It is much harder to meet women once school is done!!! Much harder!!

I take it that it is your personality that is hindering you from success - if so I suggest you go out with other guys who will make it easier to approach and start convos with women, in a group setting.

Don't wait to approach women - you seem to be insecure about your physical build - this is a lesser issue with men than it is with women!! For men. "bigger" is better than smaller - it projects strength!!

If you are not comfortable with your conversation skills then this is the major issue - unfortunately, for your sake, having confidence in one's communication abilities are an integral part in approaching a stranger and for her garnering interest in you!!

Don't see this as "stressful" - the "pursuit" should be exciting and a challange!!

 

[amadoodisforrealz]

sup mans. you gots to go out more. read all you want but it do no good if you dont go and do. you gotta do. just doin it help more then when you read ****.

experance more better then readin. im for reel

 

[Krassus]

Info? What info? You mean you're actually READING all the crap that's on here? Christ... There's your first problem. You want a recipe for success with women? Here: put on a pair of clean, stylish jeans (or slacks or shorts, whatever your style is), a cool button-down shirt and some polished shoes, fix up your hair and spray on some cologne. Get your ass out the door, go wherever it is that good-looking women can usually be found in your area, walk up to the first one and say "Hey, i'm Jack... um, i'm actually kinda shy and don't really know how to do this, but i just thought you were really cute and i wanted to come up and say hey " *dusts off hands* Boom. You're done. You may now stop visiting this site (unless its to help others) and go on to live a rich, fulfilling life with lots of friends and beautiful women