This girl at work...

[freaknice]

Hi,

I know we've got this covered and many have suggested we stay away from trying to hit on girls at work. However, i think my situation is different and i want a 2nd opinion on it. Also, this is not about 'gaming girls at work', this is particular about this one girl.


Her:

-Works on my floor
-Has seen me a few times
-No eye contact has been made
-Has the most amazing walk
-Is single!!!!

Me:

-I do the IT support for the floor
-Seen her a few times passing by
-Have not made much about it
-Never said hi etc...
-I know one of her close work collegues (I have not told her of me fancying her(I don't wanna become a gossip headline)

Ok, here is the punt of the matter. I'm leaving the company in a weeks time and i really want to go out on a date with her or at least arrange something so i can see her after work or something! How can get a date before missing out on this chance i.e. leaving the company.

My options to me are:

i. Go straight out up to her and talk to her and then just ask her out randomly
ii. Get her collegue to 'set me up with her' or invite to drinks when she will be about (I'm risking my rep here)
iii. Engineer a situation whereby i talk to her about something work related i.e. broken PC etc... and then ask her out?

Guys, what is the best, more effective way to get to talk to her outside work without looking like a chode about it.


Any advise would be good, as this is something which i think alot of people can do with in the future.

Again, i must point out, i this is not about 'gaming chicks' at work. This is essentially about that one girl you 'think' you can do well with and making most it.

Please help.

 

[jophil28]

How old are you ?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...-I do the IT support for the floor

Don't do it. IT guys are notorious for creating embarrassing situations which take forever to live down when it comes to women.

...
iii. Engineer a situation whereby i talk to her about something work related i.e. broken PC etc... and then ask her out?

Here's the proof...

 

[azanon]

Hi,

I know we've got this covered and..........

Please help.

Why not use your normal handle?

 

[BrokenLeftWing]

leave her alone man

 

[Latinoman]

My advice is: IF you must seduce a co-worker...you better be a bonifide and experience SEDUCER.

You are not. So...avoid the embarrassment.

 

[joekerr31]

so this is the perfect example of a very valuable lesson that all men in here should take note of...

DO NOT leave sh*t until the last minute!!!!!

when you get yourself in a situation like you have no time to build rapport, assess interest level, etc. - all you can do is take a shot in the dark and hope that she has also been secretly interested in you.

moreover, you are forced to do a cold approach in the work environment. this is bad because everyone inherently understands that you dont cold approach in the work environment unless you REALLY like a girl - so right off the bat, even if she says yes, she already has an inflated ego because you risked your reputation just to ask her out.

so what should you do?

1) engineer a situation relating to her PC

view: do not do this. it will backfire. she will know you did this just to talk to her. btw, this is probably want 99% of the guys out there would do.

2) talk to her and casual ask her out.

view: if she finds you attractive this is probably your best bet. it keeps everything on the down low whether she says yes or no. this is a very good option provided you are good at 1) develop rapport quickly and 2) assessing interest level. if you aren't good at those two things then this option probably will end in an awkward failure.

3) get your friend to assess her interest first.

view: all depends on how much you trust this friend. if this friend has your best interests in mind - ie. wants to see you succeed and won't go telling everyone that you asked for her help - then this is probably the best scenario. women do this sh*t ALL the time.

The cold approach in the work place is probably THE MOST toughest pick up scenario there is. you are risking your rep and she may say no without even thinking because she was caught off guard and doesn't know how to respond in the work environment.

you could always try something crafty like catch her at her desk and say 'sorry to interrupt, my name is Joe from IT. we are doing a survey of employee views for our department and I was wondering if you would have five minutes to answer a couple of questions.'

she will say sure.

then you ask:

"on a scale of 1 to 10, from disagree to strongly agree please rate the following statements...

1) I'm happy with our IT services
2) I like my work environment
3) I feel I make a difference
4) I believe people should have a proper work/life balance
5) we should have corporate sponsored picnics twice a year
6) I think the IT guy asking me these questions is cute and I'd like to go on a date with him sometime.

if she gives you a low score on #6 just laugh and say 'i'm just joking that wasn't part of the survey. Well, that about does it. thanks for taking the time."

then get up and walk away.

this is the funny and ****y route. also, it ups your odds of a yes because

- you take a position of control (you are asking the questions, she is submissive in the sense that she has to answer to you)
- she will say 'yes' to pretty much all the questions above. when people say 'yes' like five times in a row, the odds they will say yes one more time go up (sales guys use this tactic all the time)
- this is very unthreatening. the moment you say survey she will relax and instantly be interested in hearing what you have to say and providing her feedback.

anyway, this isn't full proof. it can still back fire. i'm just trying to think of something that might up your odds as you attempt a triple back flip on a high wire strung between two buildings 40 stories in the air, hehe.

 

[Latinoman]

The survey idea is not a bad one...but it takes a lot of balls and confidence. Also...he has to be viewed by women as "cute". In essense...he has to be good looking for it to work. If he is not good looking...he is going to lack the confidence to do it.

This kid has NO confidence. I can tell you that by reading his first post.

 

[##17]

Hi,

I know we've got this covered and many have suggested we stay away from trying to hit on girls at work. However, i think my situation is different and i want a 2nd opinion on it. Also, this is not about 'gaming girls at work', this is particular about this one girl.


Her:

-Works on my floor
-Has seen me a few times
-No eye contact has been made
-Has the most amazing walk
-Is single!!!!

Me:

-I do the IT support for the floor
-Seen her a few times passing by
-Have not made much about it
-Never said hi etc...
-I know one of her close work collegues (I have not told her of me fancying her(I don't wanna become a gossip headline)

Ok, here is the punt of the matter. I'm leaving the company in a weeks time and i really want to go out on a date with her or at least arrange something so i can see her after work or something! How can get a date before missing out on this chance i.e. leaving the company.

My options to me are:

i. Go straight out up to her and talk to her and then just ask her out randomly
ii. Get her collegue to 'set me up with her' or invite to drinks when she will be about (I'm risking my rep here)
iii. Engineer a situation whereby i talk to her about something work related i.e. broken PC etc... and then ask her out?

Guys, what is the best, more effective way to get to talk to her outside work without looking like a chode about it.


Any advise would be good, as this is something which i think alot of people can do with in the future.

Again, i must point out, i this is not about 'gaming chicks' at work. This is essentially about that one girl you 'think' you can do well with and making most it.

Please help.

Hopefully you're not coming down with One-itis already...

Seriously, you only live once. You have an in to introduce yourself to her. If the conversation goes well, you also have an in to 'get to know her better'--you're leaving in a week.

Introduce yourself to her. If she responds well, say "I'm going to lunch, do you like pizza or sandwiches better?" (better than ASKING) If she hems and haws, you can say something like "I'm leaving in a week, I'd be kicking myself if I didnt make some effort to get to know you better..."

No guarantees that this will work, but this should give you a shot, and again, you only live once...

 

[jophil28]

HEY Freaknice (geez you guys come up with some doozies. What next ? Freakchump ?)
How do you know that she is single ?
ALSO, if you asked your work colleague about "the chick with the amazing walk" and the colleague is a female then the "amazing one" KNOWS that you are breathing in her direction because women love this office romance intrigue shyte and you have been already been discussed and evaluated in the bathroom AND the cafeteria. However your 'colleague' would deny that she has say even one tiny word to "amazing walker."

 

[freaknice]

I know she is single as it was mentioned at a some point in the canteen. I just asked about her randomly. Anyhow, this is the week this will need to be done. I'm not on low esteem, it's just the logistical problem i'm having otherwise, i'm happy to size her up and see if we'll get along etc...

Can't believe im so worried about what other ppl think.

 

[baurman]

just flirt with her, make eye contact. have a conversation with her.

 

[freaknice]

Hi guys,

After the last update i made, i've managed to speak to the girl. The common factor i established was clothes fashion.

It was a key factor IMO to get the girl out on neutral grounds. I didn't want to express my interest in the office. I just didn't feel it was right.

So it was earlier on today i learnt my fate with the situation i explained!

Step-by-Step here is what happened...

1. Saw her sitting on her own in her chair
2. Walk up to her, sit down on the chair next to her:

Me: Hi, how's it going?
Her: Hi!
Me: I need to borrow you for 15-20mins some time!
Her: Why?
Me: Well, remember i told you about this wedding? I need some assistance in choosing a gift for the bride. You did mention you have an interest in fashion.
Her: Yea, i'm into fashion.
Me: Ok, tomorrow lunchtime?
Her: Today, i'm in meetings back to back and tomorrow i'm leaving to go abroad for a week.
Me: Hmmm, so no time? When is good then?
Her: To be honest, i don't feel COMFORTABLE going shopping with you!
Me: ......oh ok....i guess there are alot of weird people in the world.
Her: (points to someone elses desk, so to suggest i should ask them for advice)
Me: (move back to my desk as confidently as possible)

So guys, there you have it! I got possibly the weirdest response i could EXPECT. Now, i'm not a creep, not did i approach it like one. I asked a simple question and she answered it as straight faced as i asked!

Any suggestions on how this happened?

F.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Any suggestions on how this happened?

F.

...
...-I do the IT support for the floor

Don't do it. IT guys are notorious for creating embarrassing situations which take forever to live down when it comes to women.

IT guys should not sarge at work unless they are not the stereotypical IT type guy.

 

[NickBe]

She said no because she is not interested in you. You are probably boring.

 

[themaster07]

atleast ya tried dude,thats something like i wouldve used,my guess is she didn't really know you that well enough to go shopping as friends,so there was only one way she could go which was no unless she thought you were cute.