this forum speaks the truth

[aschillascanbe]

Here is the story of the last oneitis I will ever have:

4 months ago, this guy, let's call him Dave, introduced another girl, let's call her Jane, to me. Both of them are in my uni classes. After a few days, Jane wanted me to break it to Dave that she is not interested in him so as not to give him false hope. This is just to say that the texting between me and her revolves around things that actually happened.

I asked her out after about a week and got rejected. She said she had to study for the end-semester exams coming up in a week and also, accompany a roommate with relationship problems. Just to add that she sent me a picture of her studying on the Saturday I asked her out. Later in the day, she started telling me that Dave actually backstabbed me, saying that me and my friends are desperate and such (with screenshot messages to prove).

The exams ended and she went back to her country for a month. I did not text her for the entire month. When she got back, I texted her abit and got to "We should hang out sometimes." and she replied back, "Why?". I realised that there was no interests coming from her any more, deleted her number and wanted to forget all about it.

2 weeks later, my best friend started dating her best friend. She started texting me again. I found out Dave told her more stuff, saying we treat girls like sluts and my best friend is only dating her best friend because we thought she is an easy girl. In the end, I managed to convince her that things are not what it seems like and they continued dating. Near the end of our texting, she started telling me that she was having problems with her studies so I advised her to go look for help. She said something along the lines of, "But I can't possibly go look for Dave." I instantly saw it as a trap and decided to leave it as her last message. (not planning to invest any more)

During this period, I went to consult my best friend. He said I should offer her help and I went ahead with that. The texting ended with her saying "Thanks ". So the next day, I sent her "ok just let me know." She suddenly got very mad at me for not telling her that I went to sleep the other night and she felt stupid waiting for my message. I thought nothing much of it and went about with my own life. Somehow 2 weeks later, my best friend got us hanging out with me, her, her best friend and another girlfriend of theirs.

Few days later, I asked her out and got rejected. I was fed up and gave her the ultimatum. She said she only thought of us as friends.



Even though I did realise and have stopped at some point but it is the usual bro chat I have with my friends that lead me into believing otherwise. Attention whoring, low interests = pointless, texting = doesn't mean much and stuff that are constantly preached on here is the TRUTH.

What else do you guys think I can learn from this ordeal?

I felt stupid for straying off track but this lesson has hit me hard and I will become stronger.

 

[Gro0ver]

I think you're coming off as desperate and this girl's interest has never really been high at all. If a girl is interested in you she will make it easy for you, the "he said/she said" stuff won't even matter.

Learn from it and don't waste time with girls who aren't interested and have nothing to offer. There are a million other better things you could be doing

 

[aschillascanbe]

I think you're coming off as desperate and this girl's interest has never really been high at all. If a girl is interested in you she will make it easy for you, the "he said/she said" stuff won't even matter.

Learn from it and don't waste time with girls who aren't interested and have nothing to offer. There are a million other better things you could be doing

which part did I look like I was desperate?

 

[Greasy Pig]

I think it was desperate asking her out multiple times. But did you only ask her out twice?
I dunno mate, you have to learn to read women's buying signals. Do not ask a girl out unless you've built up a very fun, flirty (emphasis on flirty) rapport with her. If she's not matching your enthusiasm, not laughing at your jokes, not trying to maximise her time with you and not accepting your date offer, then don't waste any more time.
And stay out of female drama. For fvck's sake.
Women will try to draw you in to their seedy text world of gossip, rumour and whatever the fvck else some women's magazine tells them.
When she told you about Dave bad mouthing you. Instead of being sucked in to her attention wh0re gossip world, you should have just said something like: "Oh, that's interesting. I didn't picture Dave like that. Oh well."
Or just change the subject. Don't respond for a while and then throw her a non sequitur.
"I like that top you wore in class today but are you sure red is your colour?"

Change the subject, be aloof, don't stoop to their level. Remain mysterious. Be smoke. Be a ninja.
Alphas don't concern themselves with petty bullsht like the crap she pulled on you.

 

[nroug7]

I think it was desperate asking her out multiple times. But did you only ask her out twice?

The hell? I can ask a girl out once a month, it takes literally no effort on my part, I wouldn't call consistently asking a girl out desperate, most people give up after the second attempt.

 

[Greasy Pig]

The hell? I can ask a girl out once a month, it takes literally no effort on my part, I wouldn't call consistently asking a girl out desperate, most people give up after the second attempt.

Some men would rather not be the little puppy dog that keeps getting his nose rubbed in shyt, but hey, to each their own.

I think in the OP's case, she rejected him but he fell for her Chinese whispers and got sucked into her attention wh0re vortex.
Granted, it wasn't a hard rejection but anyone who's spent any amount of times on these boards will know that women very rarely reject a man flat out. They'd rather make up some excuse in order to not be seen as a cold bytch and to let the guy down easy.
As you go through life, you can see the real meaning of these excuses a mile away and you can act accordingly. By `act accordingly', I mean instantly exit with class and dignity and go find another woman instead of hanging around getting made a fool of.
Confident persistence may eventually get you the girl some of the time, but I'm not in to that.
In this case, the OP still orbited her after that first soft rejection and then asked her out again. I would say some girls could see that as being desperate.

 

[nroug7]

Some men would rather not be the little puppy dog that keeps getting his nose rubbed in shyt, but hey, to each their own.

I think in the OP's case, she rejected him but he fell for her Chinese whispers and got sucked into her attention wh0re vortex.
Granted, it wasn't a hard rejection but anyone who's spent any amount of times on these boards will know that women very rarely reject a man flat out. They'd rather make up some excuse in order to not be seen as a cold bytch and to let the guy down easy.
As you go through life, you can see the real meaning of these excuses a mile away and you can act accordingly. By `act accordingly', I mean instantly exit with class and dignity and go find another woman instead of hanging around getting made a fool of.
Confident persistence may eventually get you the girl some of the time, but I'm not in to that.
In this case, the OP still orbited her after that first soft rejection and then asked her out again. I would say some girls could see that as being desperate.

I guess it depends on how he answered the rejection though, I would of just said "Okay, maybe another time, I'm actually quite busy anyways"
Or something similar. We are Don Juans aren't we? Why would a rejection bother us, we have better things to do anyways.

EDIT: But hanging around after she rejects you? She knows your interested, you don't need to further illustrate the point that you are interested, I recommend going straight for the kill "Come to (X or Y) With me" - she rejects you, disappear, ask again after 1-2 months. Proceed until the damn apocalypse or you die if you don't have a girl or want to make you her girl, BUT REMEMBER
She shouldn't be your only focus, she should be the least of your worries, if you cannot put her out of your mind, then don't even try this.

 

[YAboi]

when she told u what dave said about u , u should have said "oh that dave guy , , he's such a great dude. Everything he said about my buddies and I is true"