this board lost me my girlfriend.

[mrRuckus]

I used DJ principles and lost my 7 month girlfriend because of them.

They don't always work is my lesson. They'll land you a smart girl to begin with but they surely don't keep her. I know you'll say I used them wrong but i'm sure if i didn't employ them at all i'd still have her. Being yourself works for me. What i got about a month ago was "i feel like i don't know the real you" then i was like yeah i did too much of just following "the rules" instead of going with what i really wanted to do... by then i'd already killed her feeling and today she was just like "well we tried and you have been better lately but the feeling i originally had is lost and i can't get through that mental block." The main mental block? Me being "mean" (really wasn't) when i thought she was being disrespectful towards me. She wouldn't get over that fact even though i hadn't done anything like that in months.

Trying my damn best not to be AFC over the break up.

I believe in just be yourself as long as you're not a complete chump now. Two girls in a row now i lost over almost the same reason when i had no trouble keeping them before. My main goal was help getting them in the first place but once they're interested and involved i think a lot of this is crap.

 

[Captain Popular]

Im sorry to hear that man, but you must have messed.
you see you cant just use every single rule on any ol gurl...
you have to use your best judgment and correctly incorperate the rules that fit with your own unique situation.....i dunno man, hope things work out for ya!!
Peace
Mr. Larry

 

[ScrewIt]

It's true, a lot of the so called "rules" simply dont apply when you get into exclusivity with a girl. In the end all you have left is just to be yourself (the confident you) anyway.

Well im not your gf so i wouldnt know the true underlying problem in the relationship. but maybe there's a part of your life that you're secretive about or a part of you that's closed off that feels like you're not devoted 100% into the relationship. In the end it's up to you to find out what it is.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Sounds like a guy too buried in principles and tactics to realize what was going on around him. Too concerned about doing the right things rather than doing things right.

The things contained on this site and similar principles in general should not be used without truly understanding them (ask anyone that's been burned using neg-hits inappropriately). Stan Lee the creator of the Spiderman comics said it best, "With great power comes great responsibility." Unfortunately he used his power irresponsibly and paid the price.

The bad thing is that he's not taking any responsibility for the loss blames the board. What's worse is that even the principles helped him land women which he seemed to like, he's decided that being himself (less than being a chump) is a better way to go. Nothing learned from the past two experiences, just the fact that the past was better for him.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

The bad thing is that he's not taking any responsibility for the loss blames the board. What's worse is that even the principles helped him land women which he seemed to like, he's decided that being himself (less than being a chump) is a better way to go. Nothing learned from the past two experiences, just the fact that the past was better for him.

I blame myself first and foremost. What I dislike is that i changed what naturally worked for me before and actually am worse off than before i started.

 

[DJ4Real]

Sorry to hear about this...usually, the DJ rules are meant to help "get" the girl...but for a LTR...you have to adjust it a bit.

 

[DJ_in_making]

don't take this site too damn literally. Some of the crap makes sense some of it doesn't some of it contradicts eachother. Sometimes you have to follow so many rules that you lose your own voice and personal style. Just use it as a guideline next time but don't follow it word for word.

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by DJ_in_making
don't take this site too damn literally. Some of the crap makes sense some of it doesn't some of it contradicts eachother. Sometimes you have to follow so many rules that you lose your own voice and personal style. Just use it as a guideline next time but don't follow it word for word.

All i thought i was doing was sticking up for myself in times i thought i was being disrespected (e.g. one time when she went to a club). Apparently i'm too harsh in the process. I wouldn't have even cared about the club so much but i'm dumb and let threads about that sort of thing make me care and freak me out with club stories.

 

[kev me723]

I really don't even look at techniques on this site. I did for a long time. I read everything really hard. It took a long time, but my attitude began to change. You won't see me doing 90% of specific techniques you'll read here. But my attitude has changed, and I just use my own techniques that fit my personality. Everyone has to find their own style and I think of this site as a guide to break the inner puss and make you think for yourself. Jus my story..

 

[House Rent]

Before I got into PU I was reading articles by Doc Love on askmen.com. It was really the first time I turned to the internet for dating advice. The thing about Doc Love is he's pretty useless as far as pickup is concerned, but as far as his relationship advice (how to maintain things AFTER the initial 90 days) he is right on. I ended up buying his damn book, and it turned out to be very useful and damn funny as well. It helps that he is a smartass. A lot of the "inner game" stuff he reccomends jibes with the "Weapons of Mass Seduction" stuff quite well.

I would totally reccommend his advice as far as relationship stuff goes. Just like with any of the "experts", however, you have to take some of it with a grain of salt. Pick and choose what works for you, to some extent. But he has obviously done a lot of observing regarding the LTR game. The relationship game is pretty different from the PU game...

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by kev me723
I really don't even look at techniques on this site. I did for a long time. I read everything really hard. It took a long time, but my attitude began to change. You won't see me doing 90% of specific techniques you'll read here. But my attitude has changed, and I just use my own techniques that fit my personality. Everyone has to find their own style and I think of this site as a guide to break the inner puss and make you think for yourself. Jus my story..

indeed, i think a lot of us here can relate. But i guess sometimes it's easier said then done. In the end, all you really need to have is confidence in your abilities and go for what you want in life.

But personally for me when i first came here till up to this point. This site was originally a holy bible to understanding attraction with women. But the way i see it now in it's entirety, all it really was was a guide for my journey on personal growth/ self improvement.

I dont believe 100% of the stuff on this site should be taken too literal. In the end, it's just an eye opener to enlightenment.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by mrRuckus
I blame myself first and foremost. What I dislike is that i changed what naturally worked for me before and actually am worse off than before i started.

Alright, if you say so. It's just that the title of your thread says otherwise.

So what have you learned? What exactly did you do and to what extreme? What will you do differently next time?

It sounds as if you overreacted when she went to the club. In the past it doesn't seem as if you would have done anything or cared. There is such a thing as a "happy medium."

 

[golfguy]

Well, It's really your own fault for taking everything literally.

Personally, I don't use 90% of this stuff.

All I use is...

"What turns girls off", and the odd tip.

After that it's just use yourown judgement.

I think it's important for guys to know what turns women off, what turns them on, and just developing your own style around that.

If you use this site as a set by step guide on picking up a girl and keeping her..you're gonna be in big trouble.

There's lots of great advice here, and lots of knowledge regarding picking women up, but honestly, each woman is different, and you kinda just have to judge what the situation needs. If you don't turn her off, you'll be able to get to know her a bit, she'll get to know you, and you can see where you wanna take it from there.

8/10 girls I meet and talk to aren't even really worth my time after meeting them and talking to them 3 or 4 times.

Sorry to hear you lost your g/f, but you def got to take things into your own hands, and not take all the **** on this site to heart.

Good luck finding another one soon.

 

[Tazman]

"well we tried and you have been better lately but the feeling i originally had is lost and i can't get through that mental block." The main mental block? Me being "mean" (really wasn't) when i thought she was being disrespectful towards me. She wouldn't get over that fact even though i hadn't done anything like that in months.

Sounds like a typical excuse from a girl who wants to break up. You really don't know that things would be different if you hadn't acted that way. People have disagreements/arguments/fights about all sorts of things, especially when you've been with someone for a good amount of time. Rarely will you ever get the TRUTH about why someone wants to split. Sometimes you get the "it's me not you" or some incident from the past that can't be overlooked (among an infinite number of reasons).

 

[mrswabe]

oh my God this is such a tragic thing.

But please don't give up on this site. It has worked wonders for me in my 3 year LTR.

About 2 years ago, I have not yet discovered this site. I was a supplicant to my gf. I would do errands for her, and would be afraid not to because she might break it up with me.

Well, she took me for granted and each time she gets angry with me we always had a break-up. This was easy for her to do, knowing that I would come back to her down on my knees.

Then came this site. I just took to heart the foundations of being a DJ - Confidence, Attitude, and Challenge. My gf herself have noticed these changes in me. She said that I have become much more confident. She also said that I have become more jerky. Maybe its because I am not afraid of the consequences of my actions anymore. I am no longer afraid to refuse to do errands for her whenever it was inconvenient for me to do so. And unlike before when she was possessive of me, now she doesnt mind if i go out with my friends and she is not with me.

Even though I have fooled around a bit. My girl is still with me. And I feel that she loves me more now than in the previous two years that we were together. She really loves my C+F attitude.

Though I have her, I'm still doing approaches so that my DJ skills wont get rusty. I still get some numbers but I don't bother to call / text them at all. Well, maybe when I get bored.

 

[laffytaffygirl]

boy oh boy was my bf in your situation. Lucky enough I caught him on here and had to straighten things out. too bad your gf didn't catch you in time to tell you that doing things on here isn't the way to keep it. better luck in the future for you. sorry things didn't work out.

 

[DarkLight]

All in all this forum is solid, in its wisdom.

But you really have to sort through all the rough edges, and not get lost in the titles, etc. Pook's "be a Jerk" is gold, when you understand the the depths and mechanics of what he's saying. You have to really understand what they're saying underneath such messages. The feel... the pyschology and the dynamics of it.

Don't take everything on here so literal, and get lost in the the surface appearance, of what a DJ is. My best advice to any1 reading this stuff, would be... to feel it. Feel what they're trying to say.

If you don't feel all the sh!t of this site, then you'll just run off, with no understanding, and think that being a ****y a$$hole, w. a few routines will get turn you into a DJ. WRONG!

The title says it: SoSuave.

Suave man... be suave. Fluid, flowing, feel what the moment needs and deliver. As far as the other stuff... its all about being a man, grounded in your power. Answering to yourself, and your heart. BOOM thats it.

No need to supplicate, no need to implement some lil techniqe, or be a brash D!ckhe*d.

I'm sorry you missed the feel of the site, and let the sh!tty crust fvck your relationship up. If I was you, and you really were into this girl. I'd let some time pass... then give her a call, and just go have some coffee. Be yourself, be strong, be cool... and SoSuave, w. much heart.

If its there to rekindle, cool... if not... then you learned a lesson.


SuaveOn'
-DarkLight-

 

[aBAzLLnA]

Being in a relationship is a totally different game. In fact, if you are in a relationship, don't even pay attention to what the forum has to say (needless to say, except for "being a man").

 

[anonymousguy]

What exactly did you do?

You say some stuff of this board didn't work. Well I want to know what didn't work...

 

[mrRuckus]

Originally posted by aBAzLLnA
Being in a relationship is a totally different game. In fact, if you are in a relationship, don't even pay attention to what the forum has to say (needless to say, except for "being a man").

That's why i'm saying to hell with it. I had a decently easy time getting girls before so there was no need to change who i really am. It's not like i was a huge kiss ass who showered girls with presents and followed them around with poems all the time.

I took it to the extreme the other direction after this site. Nothing romantic.

I have no interest in just hooking up with girls. Just 'be a man' and things fall into place without all the detail garbage mucking things up.