This angered me, what to do?

[cNfny]

So this girl I was talkin to for a bit, last week on a Monday I ask to go to a movie the following day. Her reply "maybe, have to see if I'm doing something else first"

I told her to forget it, I wasn't goin to wait around for her to see if I can fit into her schedule as a last resort if she has nothing else to do.

I haven't spoken to her since but I can sense she might contact me soon to schedule something. I know I should just avoid but I want to answer her call (if it so happens) and to whatever she proposes respond with "what's the matter, nothing else better to do?" and hang up.

Comments please

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So this girl I was talkin to for a bit, last week on a Monday I ask to go to a movie the following day. Her reply "maybe, have to see if I'm doing something else first"

I told her to forget it, I wasn't goin to wait around for her to see if I can fit into her schedule as a last resort if she has nothing else to do.

I haven't spoken to her since but I can sense she might contact me soon to schedule something. I know I should just avoid but I want to answer her call (if it so happens) and to whatever she proposes respond with "what's the matter, nothing else better to do?" and hang up.

Comments please

This is why spinning plates (or keeping busy in other ways) is so important. Guys constantly try to not be readily available while in fact they are readily available. They're torn in how to (re)act. If they were truly busy, this would be less of an issue.

My (personal) suggestion (WWFD) is that if I really dug the woman and knew that there was mutual high interest, I'd see her. However, in your case you seem a bit bitter and that you're more angry that she made you wait or couldn't find anything better to do. That uncontrolled feeling could cause you to make reactionary mistakes down the line.

 

[Ace of Flames]

You can answer it when (if) she calls. The key is in the tone of your voice. Don't sound excited or particularly happy that she's calling you, just be in the mindset of "I'm only going to listen to what she has to say".

If she does propose a real concrete plan of going out, then change your tone and the way you respond to make it seem like she's winning you over. Ask her what's in it for you, in a playful way. Then you might want to imply that you're busy, and change whatever time she gives to about 15 minutes or more later. You should be in the clear after that.

 

[cNfny]

So I should make no reference to what she pulled on me? Oh I should also mention that come to find out she wanted to see what another guy she was talking to was up to the same day I asked for a movie hang out. That's why I'm angry about it now, I was being played second best in my opinion.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So I should make no reference to what she pulled on me? Oh I should also mention that come to find out she wanted to see what another guy she was talking to was up to the same day I asked for a movie hang out. That's why I'm angry about it now, I was being played second best in my opinion.

Here's a question for 'ya; is she really worth all this energy?

 

[cNfny]

Here's a question for 'ya; is she really worth all this energy?

true. for some reason it just made me mad.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

true. for some reason it just made me mad.

Do you enjoy being mad about such things?

 

[Someone Much cooler]

I would take it with a grain of salt, bitterness is a waste of time. When she was like "I'll see if im not doin anything else," i wudda been like, "whhhaaaat I'm mad you really tried to play me like that" or something to that effect, not mad but a little indignat. If she makes plans to take you out, i would be like ok, but can u come get me, I have been driving all day and don't feel like driving today! Then she would pay her ticket and i would pay mine. She DID play you, she really tried to stunt on you and that was rude.

 

[window]

Personally I don't think this girl did anything wrong and your anger is out of line. If you ask someone if they would like to go out the next day (very short notice) then most people would most likely have something on and need to check what they are doing...she had every right to be unavailable...your approach and response would have shown her everything she needed to know.

 

[Bvbidd]

Your gonna have to get use to your hand if you have that mentality.

lol just try again for another day. Getting angry will look like you don't get out much.

What do you think you have done to make hanging with you worth her time anyway?

 

[Mad Manic]

The thing is, the "I'll just NEXT her and tell her that I won't be waiting" attitude works if you're such a high value guy that you know she'll chase you soon enough because you're better than all the other guys who hit on her, which is usually in conjunction with having other women on your plate. Otherwise you need to try and persevere sensibly to get a date. That is, show interest, but not neediness.

 

[cNfny]

If you ask someone if they would like to go out the next day (very short notice) then most people would most likely have something on and need to check what they are doing

thats very understandable but the way she said it, it was very obvious i would have been her last resort. i can decipher the difference between someone who really got caught off gaurd and needs to check their schedule and someone who had nothing planned and wants to see what other options she can shuffle through.

 

[Tenzen]

o boy, i just had to join when i seen this thread. The way u asked her was bad and the way u made it sound. It should be u telling her that u'll see if u can fit her into ur schedule. Not vice-versa! Also be more spontaneous don't ask for the next day to go to the movies bring it up right away on that same day. Don't let her have to the time to think about making up excuses of not to go with u. If you want to try again with this chick, text her some funny or ****y, and when u ask her to do something with u try giving more then one choice! Works almost every time when u give at least 2 choices on something to do. Peace

-Tenzen

 

[Bible_Belt]

If she were not your first choice, then you would not be upset that you were not hers, either - another benefit of the plate spinning approach.