Thinking of Breaking Up

[UndercoverAFC]

Well i started dating this girl about 6 months ago. Im 27 and shes 24, we meet on an online dating She ticked all the right boxes in terms of looks, humour and was a career driven nurse who was saving for a house. Previous to me she only had 1 partner and detested girls who slept around. Unfortunately with that came massive sexual anxiety and an unwillingness to try new things including foreplay.

Anyway, the first few months were good and we went on holiday for a week and all that. She sook about typical girl things and id do my best to apologise and accommodate her. Ive never like spending too much time weve a girl in a relationship, usually a couple of times week which she was cool with at the start as we are both shift workers as well, but recently she started getting angry about this and straight out saying that our relationship woukd come to an end if i couldnt offer her more. She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy. I made a bit more of an effort and started seeing a bit more.

Last week i try to make plans for a night out at a bar with my friends and her and she said maybe but she had drinks with some work friends at one of there houses which i was cool with. I decided to cancel heading to the bar as her and a couple of my friends had pulled out and i had work i the morning. But at 10pm on the night she messaged me if still going and i said no cause i had work in the morning and was tired, she said i have been weird about it and i shouldnt invite her to things if i wasnt going to go. After i finished work the next day i still wasnt happy and fired back about her already having plans, after a bit of back of forth (lying on her part) we now havent spoken in a couple of days and ive virtually decided to go no contact until i figure out what to do.

Should i cut her loose? The past month or two she seems to have an issue every week.

 

[El Payaso]

"She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy."

It's very rare that a girl would even tell you this outright. Count your lucky stars and dip on this whacko.

 

[Billtx49]

The past month or two she seems to have an issue every week.

That's your clue to exit stage left from her act.
She will not get better. She will get worse.

 

[lizardking82]

Why would even be in doubt? This freako has gotten angry at you because

Well i started dating this girl about 6 months ago. Im 27 and shes 24, we meet on an online dating She ticked all the right boxes in terms of looks, humour and was a career driven nurse who was saving for a house. Previous to me she only had 1 partner and detested girls who slept around. Unfortunately with that came massive sexual anxiety and an unwillingness to try new things including foreplay.

Anyway, the first few months were good and we went on holiday for a week and all that. She sook about typical girl things and id do my best to apologise and accommodate her. Ive never like spending too much time weve a girl in a relationship, usually a couple of times week which she was cool with at the start as we are both shift workers as well, but recently she started getting angry about this and straight out saying that our relationship woukd come to an end if i couldnt offer her more. She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy. I made a bit more of an effort and started seeing a bit more.

Last week i try to make plans for a night out at a bar with my friends and her and she said maybe but she had drinks with some work friends at one of there houses which i was cool with. I decided to cancel heading to the bar as her and a couple of my friends had pulled out and i had work i the morning. But at 10pm on the night she messaged me if still going and i said no cause i had work in the morning and was tired, she said i have been weird about it and i shouldnt invite her to things if i wasnt going to go. After i finished work the next day i still wasnt happy and fired back about her already having plans, after a bit of back of forth (lying on her part) we now havent spoken in a couple of days and ive virtually decided to go no contact until i figure out what to do.

Should i cut her loose? The past month or two she seems to have an issue every week.

Never accomodate women who complain about typical girl things and exactly so because it;s typical and there is a percentage of **** testing in those things.

She threatened you to end the relationship. Listen, I did this on my last girlfriend, told her that I was going to leave unless she changed this and that. I feel ashamed when I think of it now and I can tell you from my own experience that it is quite ****ed up to tell someone you will leave them if they do not change for you. It is not a relationship in those moments, it is more of a power struggle from one side that will eventually end up just like it happened with my ex who left me and just like it happened with you here that you could not stand it anymore and stood up to it and left.

This girl has been leading this relationship for way too long and I suggest you end it, have a meeting with your balls, you guys get a shot of testosterone in you and the next girl, you make the rules, not her. They love that and will not ***** about it at all.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

Thanks for the rapid responses

"She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy."

It's very rare that a girl would even tell you this outright. Count your lucky stars and dip on this whacko.

I once remember the last new girl I banged told me "sometimes I do crazy things." That should have been my warning light to GTFO.

Get out while you can. When a girl tells you she's crazy.. better believe it. probably the only thing they will be honest about.

Yeah dont worry fellas the alarm bells went off and i filed that one away for future reference. Behind every joke is a hint of honesty i guess

That's your clue to exit stage left from her act.
She will not get better. She will get worse.

Thought as much, beyond a certain point discussion can only do so much i guess

Why would even be in doubt? This freako has gotten angry at you because


Never accomodate women who complain about typical girl things and exactly so because it;s typical and there is a percentage of **** testing in those things.

She threatened you to end the relationship. Listen, I did this on my last girlfriend, told her that I was going to leave unless she changed this and that. I feel ashamed when I think of it now and I can tell you from my own experience that it is quite ****ed up to tell someone you will leave them if they do not change for you. It is not a relationship in those moments, it is more of a power struggle from one side that will eventually end up just like it happened with my ex who left me and just like it happened with you here that you could not stand it anymore and stood up to it and left.

This girl has been leading this relationship for way too long and I suggest you end it, have a meeting with your balls, you guys get a shot of testosterone in you and the next girl, you make the rules, not her. They love that and will not ***** about it at all.

I did a couple of times but its hard to stay the course when they start crying and saying how nasty your treating them.

One thing im happy about is i didnt place too much emphasis on the relationship the last 6 months and kept my other interests. Im not attached like other gfs ive had in the past making the whole thing easier.

I guess i shpuld meet in person and do it that way?

 

[lizardking82]

Thanks for the rapid responses

QUOTE="El Payaso, post: 2413256, member: 124969"]"She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy."

It's very rare that a girl would even tell you this outright. Count your lucky stars and dip on this whacko.

Yeah dont worry fellas the alarm bells went off and i filed that one away for future reference. Behind every joke is a hint of honesty i guess



Thought as much, beyond a certain point discussion can only do so much i guess



I did a couple of times but its hard to stay the course when they start crying and saying how nasty your treating them.

One thing im happy about is i didnt place too much emphasis on the relationship the last 6 months and kept my other interests. Im not attached like other gfs ive had in the past making the whole thing easier.

I guess i shpuld meet in person and do it that way?[/QUOTE]

It would be honorable to do it that way, but yet again, this girl has not really acted much in an honorable way with you so I think it does not even matter, but you DID NOT hit the jackpot with this one. It is for your own best interest, I think, to let her go.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

Yeah i am little sad about it, i mean there was i time for a while where i felt certain we wpuld become an LTR. But the no contact over the last 3 days has be a relief more than anything.

Ill arrange a meet up to let her go when im feel like doing it.

 

[WitnessGR]

"She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy."

It's very rare that a girl would even tell you this outright. Count your lucky stars and dip on this whacko.

Man honestly, I've had quite a few women actually say tell me these things, in public too. I am crazy haha, I can be vindictive, hell, one even told me that she hates people, while we were in a group of people! I used to take these things in a light and joking matter, I used to tthink "who the hell would tell somebody that they are crazy af, but based on my experiences they aint joking lol

 

[Young_Don]

Never apologise unless you've clearly fvcked up and she's really upset about it. If she's just being a sook, tell her to deal with it and smack her on the arse.

I was just with a girl who told me that she was crazy and that I hadn't seen the real her yet as well. And just as she said, she turned out to be a girl who had no idea wtf she wanted. Leave while you still have your sanity.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

Never apologise unless you've clearly fvcked up and she's really upset about it. If she's just being a sook, tell her to deal with it and smack her on the arse.

I was just with a girl who told me that she was crazy and that I hadn't seen the real her yet as well. And just as she said, she turned out to be a girl who had no idea wtf she wanted. Leave while you still have your sanity.

Yeah some of her complaints were legit a lot were her blowing little things out of proportion, like if i was 10-15 mins late she'd say im always late.

Its hard man because popular opinion is that i was batting out of my league, shes a 6ft red red head with a pretty face. But i havent been myself, depressed and wound up constantly waiting for the next issue to arise. I also not im still ready to settle down so the whole thing is confusing

One thing im happy about is ive been gym obsessed since meeting her using this time to get in the best shape of my life and not going out as much, maybe i always knew deep down the relationship had a use by date

 

[FwoGiZ]

You need to soft next any chick that give you free-drama in the future. It's the most important tool for a guy in a relationship.

You using a lot of time for yourself is what saved your sanity here, great job.

 

[wifehunter]

Drop her.

 

[UndercoverAFC]

You need to soft next any chick that give you free-drama in the future. It's the most important tool for a guy in a relationship.

You using a lot of time for yourself is what saved your sanity here, great job.

Thanks bro, ive learnt to keep my life from being to codependent on a relationship from past experience, not really from overall time spent together but my general mood not coinsiding with hers.


But how does one do that? i mean the first few months i knew she seemed to be low maintenance and almost logical. Should i not get into a relationship for the first 6 months of seeing a girl?

 

[QuadDeuces]

In my experience all nurses are whackjobs until proven otherwise.

 

[dude99]

Well i started dating this girl about 6 months ago. Im 27 and shes 24, we meet on an online dating She ticked all the right boxes in terms of looks, humour and was a career driven nurse who was saving for a house. Previous to me she only had 1 partner and detested girls who slept around. Unfortunately with that came massive sexual anxiety and an unwillingness to try new things including foreplay.

Anyway, the first few months were good and we went on holiday for a week and all that. She sook about typical girl things and id do my best to apologise and accommodate her. Ive never like spending too much time weve a girl in a relationship, usually a couple of times week which she was cool with at the start as we are both shift workers as well, but recently she started getting angry about this and straight out saying that our relationship woukd come to an end if i couldnt offer her more. She also said that i havent seen the real her yet, that she actually pretty crazy. I made a bit more of an effort and started seeing a bit more.

Last week i try to make plans for a night out at a bar with my friends and her and she said maybe but she had drinks with some work friends at one of there houses which i was cool with. I decided to cancel heading to the bar as her and a couple of my friends had pulled out and i had work i the morning. But at 10pm on the night she messaged me if still going and i said no cause i had work in the morning and was tired, she said i have been weird about it and i shouldnt invite her to things if i wasnt going to go. After i finished work the next day i still wasnt happy and fired back about her already having plans, after a bit of back of forth (lying on her part) we now havent spoken in a couple of days and ive virtually decided to go no contact until i figure out what to do.

Should i cut her loose? The past month or two she seems to have an issue every week.

You have reached the end of good times phase of your dating/relationship.

Her interest was slowly plummeting over the last 6 months and now you are seeing how she feels about you with little or low interest.
Time for the "next." Things will not get better from here

 

[IBreatheSpears]

Get out while you can. When a girl tells you she's crazy.. better believe it. probably the only thing they will be honest about.

This is weird to me since it seems like every girl says she's crazy. I even heard my sister say it to her boyfriend a few years ago. I've been interpreting it as "I'm self-aware enough to know women are emotionally unstable compared to men".

 

[UndercoverAFC]

You have reached the end of good times phase of your dating/relationship.

Her interest was slowly plummeting over the last 6 months and now you are seeing how she feels about you with little or low interest.
Time for the "next." Things will not get better from here

Interesting, im not saying your wrong but how does wanting to see me more equal low interest? A large part of me hopes your right as i dont want the breakup to cause her anymore pain than nessecary.
Whether thats to relieve my own guilt or empathy for her idk

This is weird to me since it seems like every girl says she's crazy. I even heard my sister say it to her boyfriend a few years ago. I've been interpreting it as "I'm self-aware enough to know women are emotionally unstable compared to men".

I remember i kind of palmed the comment off at the time. But my previous experiences told me to lookout as it could be a legit confession of her character

 

[UndercoverAFC]

IME when they say they specifically are crazy, you better pay attention closely. If they say "women are crazy" its different.

I think all girls are crazy to a degree, i thought it might of been one of those insecure moments girls have. She'd given no indication of any instability up to that which would make sense consider she had been putting on an act.

Been no contact for 4 days now, not sure when im going to bite the bullet and meet with her yet

 

[FwoGiZ]

Consider this a soft next. I hope people know what I mean by soft next.. if you don't I'll explain.
But as long as you get laid, and gets minimal drama, you shouldn't want to end a relationship with a chick. You could see her less often at worst.
In this case, this seems to be quite minimal drama.
Wait couple more days, then pitch in a date as if nothing ever happened. If she asks, say you are over it, and just wanna enjoy good time with her.
Whenever she gives you too much drama, soft next. By drama, I obviously mean stuff that you consider isn't your fault. Try to be objective here, women have a very very hard time doing that and even some man but it should be you who's aware enough. Sometimes you make mistakes, if she gives you drama about it, no need to say anything or explain anything. Just don't do that mistake again. If it's free drama, soft next. Soft next is basically removing the attention you usually give her. It works wonders trust me. If you apply that from the beginning, you can literally be in a near drama free relationship with several and any chick.

 

[xstang77]

If you've been nc for 4 days and your in a r/s you better end it right away before she does because I can almost guarantee she's gonna dump you when she finally does contact you. the race is on,get to it right away.