They think you’re invincible

[Fruitbat]

Shyt tests, criticism…

I’ve often wondered why women often complainand try to change their men.

my wife has been moaning about a few things recently. Little things.

I’d had a few beers and I sat down and said “look, I get you want xy and z but why do you have to bust my balls all the time. Why are you breaking me down?”

it became clear after about 2 mins she considers me an impervious rock, who DGAF about criticism…she doesn’t view me as someone who needs encouragement, more like a dad who needs to be nagged toget her needs met.

it became very clear the idea I could be downhearted or pissed that she whinged at me was absurd, and that actually I had all the power to solve my issues but I needed pushing back to these objectives.

womens nagging and complaining when filtered as a man seems cruel. It seems to me demotivating, like the opposite of a coach.

now it’s quite clear. She views me like her president or prime minister, and complains like people complain on twitter.

men, don’t take criticism or nagging as if it’s a friend suddenly turning to a d1ck.

it’s more like an employee moaning about her boss. Or a teenager moaning about her dad.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Fruitbat,
So now you know why old Dogs leave home...Enjoy your English Christmas.

 

[logicallefty]

@Fruitbat My wife nags too. Little shyt like you say mostly.. I have be become really efficient at changing the subject. If it goes from minor nagging to major bytching i go to my man cave downstairs, or just leave and go to the gym or something. Hmm. President or Prime Minister? I never saw it from that angle. You may be onto something there.. Very, very interesting!

 

[Fruitbat]

@Fruitbat My wife nags too. Little shyt like you say mostly.. I have be become really efficient at changing the subject. If it goes from minor nagging to major bytching i go to my man cave downstairs, or just leave and go to the gym or something. Hmm. President or Prime Minister? I never saw it from that angle. You may be onto something there.. Very, very interesting!

i don’t know if this is relevant, but this morning I got tired of it, took her upstairs and literally spanked her ass as punishment and then had a bit of gymnastics. All is now well. I’ve been drinking 3 days and before that it’s been a couple of weeks due to work schedules and childcare.

i wonder how much of the bags were about wanting sechs and not about the nags!!

have a great Boxing Day bros

 

[Bigpapa]

Women have low empathy for men in the relationship context. Often higher empathy in the workplace and school though.

Because they take you for granted

In order to minimize it , you have to remain relevant and challenging

 

[bmp2cpm]

It is all about maintaining frame no matter what the woman throws at you.

Every little action a man does is noticed by the woman. She constantly assesses the relationship commitment level. When a woman perceives inconsistencies, she spirals out of control.

When my wife gets out of control, I mimic how she acts when she is upset with me.

I get quiet, withdraw, barely talk to her, and do my own thing.

I’m not upset or mad with her, but I have to do this to “reset” her spiraling out of control.

After I withdraw, she then engages me and I follow up by calling her out on why she is upset and explain how she is misinterpreting my actions, ie I am committed to her and here’s why I did X, and it’s not my problem she was looking for Y.

The whole time, I really don’t even care about what is going on and it shows.

I call her out every time her sh*t test completed missed how committed I am to her.

I don’t care how she tests me or how often she tests me.

The whole secret is realizing:

1) Her spiraling is a result of her attempting several sh*t tests and not getting the consistent results she expects. It is all about her insecurities.

2) You have to not care she is spiraling and literally “reset” her emotions by showing you can lead when she can’t function because her heart is spaghetti junction.

3) Women literally want their man to take control when they are insecure about the man’s commitment to the relationship.

 

[Ricky]

And once you have kids thats who they care about. But honestly i love my child so much and want another

I am thinking of divorcing my wife. I want one more kid and i need a younger woman for that. I just dont want to get married again

 

[Bokanovsky]

it’s more like an employee moaning about her boss. Or a teenager moaning about her dad.

Just don't get lulled into thinking that way yourself. Or you might end up with an employee who quits her job, steals the company's business and goes to work for the competition.

 

[TheKid]

Yeah but do you really want to live your life like that?

 

[RobbyDog]

OP sounds like me and my ex wife with her constant criticism and scrutiny of my every action. Now I am single and FREE. Never again.

 

[Fruitbat]

OP sounds like me and my ex wife with her constant criticism and scrutiny of my every action. Now I am single and FREE. Never again.

Currently I’m in attack mode. I’m picking her up every time she doesn’t tidy up, every time she misses something. It’s quite fun being on the front foot and amazingly she is complying.

 

[ubercat]

Sadly it's true. Women are like weeds if you don't chop them back they take over. OTOH you do build up their capability over time. A woman always wins on the deal. They were born in the bazaar.

Second the need for a man cave.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

3) Women literally want their man to take control when they are insecure about the man’s commitment to the relationship.

What do you mean by that?

 

[SW15]

And once you have kids thats who they care about. But honestly i love my child so much and want another

I am thinking of divorcing my wife. I want one more kid and i need a younger woman for that. I just dont want to get married again

Once a man turns 36, it is better if he has kids with a woman who is significantly younger. If a man has a similarly aged partner (less than 3-4 years younger), it is best to finish up having kids by 35.

The downside of having kids for a man in his late 30s/early 40s is that at that point, it starts to affect retirement planning. If a man has a kid at 40, that kid won't finish high school until the man is 58. The kid's young adulthood would be around ages 58-64 for the man, which might involve the kid going to college. College might be partially funded by the parent. The young adult child might need to live at home during his late teens - mid 20s, requiring financial support as the parent gets to retirement age.

A lot of people don't voluntarily get to choose when they retire either. For blue collar workers, physical health problems can lead to retirements around 55-60. White collar workers don't have it much better either. While physical health problems that affect work are less common, layoffs are a big problem for white collar workers. If a white collar worker gets laid off between 50-65, he's not likely to get a similar quality job and that often leads to early retirement. That's why I think it is best for a man to be completely done with the financial part of raising children by 55-60. That means 36-38 is likely the upper limit for that, and best done with a woman 5-7 years younger at that time.

If a man has a child at 50, he has a high schooler in the home at ages 64-68. He's not going to have a traditional retirement. That child won't be financially independent until the father is 70+. That's not a good situation.

I'm 39 right now and childless. If I wanted children now, I'd be looking at 42-45 for starting a family. On a practical basis, childlessness is likely better for me because of retirement planning.

 

[bmp2cpm]

What do you mean by that?

If man is taking control of the situation and he is leading, then the women no longer has to be insecure and worry.

Leading literally demonstrates the man’s level of commitment to the woman.

Men only lead women they want to be with. No man in the history of mankind ever led a woman he does not care for.

Women are biologically programmed to pick up on every subtle commitment cue. Use this to your advantage.

 

[BeExcellent]

If man is taking control of the situation and he is leading, then the women no longer has to be insecure and worry.

Leading literally demonstrates the man’s level of commitment to the woman.

Men only lead women they want to be with. No man in the history of mankind ever led a woman he does not care for.

Women are biologically programmed to pick up on every subtle commitment cue. Use this to your advantage.

This ^

Feedback from the ladies locker room.

 

[Ricky]

This is a great thread.
How to regain leadership when you have failed. 14.5 good years of leadership.. 2 years of very bad.. including her almost leaving..

 

[The Duke]

The more I learn about women, the more I wonder what the point is. What does the man get out of the deal? Regular pu$$y and a woman that acts right if you meet certain conditions.

Why does a man cater to women and jump thru all of these hoops to appease her?

 

[SW15]

The more I learn about women, the more I wonder what the point is. What does the man get out of the deal? Regular pu$$y and a woman that acts right if you meet certain conditions.

Why does a man cater to women and jump thru all of these hoops to appease her?

Without pusssy, a man's quality of life is going to be seriously diminished. There are a whole host of mental health and even physical health issues that can occur without regular pusssy.

There's some value in the companionship as well. The overall value of female companionship is low, but men 30+ who are unattached have mainly attached male friends that don't have much time available for them. Additionally, the unattached male is busy trying to get his penis wet too so he's not going to have much time for male friendship. Female companionship as a side offering to the sex is useful, but useless as a main dish without sex.

If a man has adequate support from his male friends, the female companionship has almost no value. The problem is that most men don't have adequate support from male friends so the female companionship as a side offering with sex becomes useful.

 

[ubercat]

Hmm that's a bit skewed. I don't find friends reliable either. Just have a look at your old phone contacts the people who drifted in and out with the tide. I had two good mates go bad over covid one religious anti vaxer the others case of short guy syndrome went OTT. The older I get the more I believe that you shouldn't have expectations of people too much. Encourage their good behaviour and just avoid them when they are being crappy. The difficulty comes when you invest 2 heavily in people and then feel you are tied to them and have to take their crappy behaviour