They Only Want What's Worst For You

[bigneil]

You might go through life thinking that your peers have high expectations for you, and that they will actually be disappointed if you don't succeed at a high level.

The opposite is closer to the truth.

In reality, people resent you for being 1% better than them in any demonstrable way. They will do mental gymnastics to try to discredit you when this happens.

Your friends, your coworkers, your neighbors, your family, your exes and especially your colleagues here will absolutely hate any shred of success you demonstrate that shows your achievements, and they will hate it with a passion.

See Tom Brady and Deflategate for an example. Or Donald Trump winning because of "fake news". We have sore losers of literally epic proportions still whining about both.

So you invented a rocket that will fly you to the moon? But wait, you didn't floss today. Yeah, we only like scientists who floss you see.

Remember: it's you against the world. Other men will never like the fact that you took the women they wanted away from them.

 

[RedZone]

Agreed. It's human nature others want to see you fail.

 

[BeExcellent]

The only person who will love you unconditionally is yourself. Hopefully followed closely by your mom and/or dad.

Unfortunately family are sometimes the worst dream killers out there precisely because we attach such value to their assessment of us.

Sometimes in life you'll have a friend or lover who is actually truly interested in your success and not for selfish reasons where you are concerned. These people will add tremendous positive energy to your life. Keep these people around.

These kind of people are rare and should be held in high esteem as the treasure they are. They energy they contribute to you is a gift and has value, no matter the motivation they have for giving it. They choose to give you that positive energy & support instead of someone else.

 

[bigneil]

Sometimes in life you'll have a friend or lover who is actually truly interested in your success and not for selfish reasons where you are concerned. These people will add tremendous positive energy to your life. Keep these people around.

Also, try to be this type of person. If you could get your girlfriend a job as an actress even though you might lose her, you should do it. Help them reach their dreams first, and hope they choose you.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Also, try to be this type of person. If you could get your girlfriend a job as an actress even though you might lose her, you should do it. Help them reach their dreams first, and hope they choose you.

You gotta guage their character. Many will USE a booster or lover. So there will be less of a reward. I prefer to give to those who enjoy giving to me.

 

[dustmuffin]

Hell I dont think my mom cares about me. She likes me only becasue my older brother died. He was an alcoholic, in and out of jail. Just a mess. Mom ran around fixing his crap. Spending money like there was no tomorrow.

She made decisions with feels. She was a multi-millionaire. But she frittered it all away on my brother and his children.

Me on the other hand got into no trouble. I made my own fortune. She comes to me now for money. I give it to her becasue she is my mother. I feel like saying why don't you hit up so and so that you spent so much money on? It has only proved to me that responsibility is not valued unless they need something from you. They will try to fix the f ucked up sibling even if they go broke.

I was over at my mom's for christmas. She told me I wasn't getting a gift. That she was my gift. I asked her if I could exchange her for another one. Pissed her off but she bit her tongue. My brothers brood was there too. He is dead. He has two bastard children and two in wedlock. His ex-wife looks like granny clampett. Anyway rant over...move along nothing to see here.

 

[bigneil]

This is especially true at work.

You might think if you get a patent or design a product or start a website in your industry that your colleagues will celebrate your achievements. No, they will hold up a cross and forbid you from discussing anything they don't own. They will literally turn and walk away in the middle of your demonstration. You are not getting the ace. You must steal their profits directly instead.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

I'm not like that, if someone makes it I want to learn how they did it. I never go out of my way to destroy or downplay an accomplishment from a friend. If it is someone I think doesn't deserve it I might get a little jealous, but that's it I'm human, but I'm not the one to be happy when someone fails

 

[Dan Bautista]

I'm not like that, if someone makes it I want to learn how they did it. I never go out of my way to destroy or downplay an accomplishment from a friend. If it is someone I think doesn't deserve it I might get a little jealous, but that's it I'm human, but I'm not the one to be happy when someone fails

It's not about wanting someone to fail. It's more about the ill-feeling nearly everyone has for others whenever they do/get something you don't have. So many people think they'd never have a similar feeling towards another, merely because of their success, yet when they see someone else succeeding, they (unknowingly) call foul play and refuse to accept others' success. Taking it further, some even sabotage the other man's success. Happens to all but some are extremely bothered while some are little bothered.

 

[Poon King]

Pure wisdom.

This is why I tell men to live on their own terms 24/7 when possible. Learn to tell people "NO". Stop fearing abandonment. You have nothing to lose by scaring away people who are only out to bleed you. People are only happy for your success when they see you as someone they can exploit (especially women).

Friendships, dating, etc. are all types of "alliances" we form with other people for mutual benefit. The key word is "mutual". Once one of your friends or plates no longer "benefit" from association with you.. the alliance will be broken. This goes for family too and YES your mother too. Family members that don't benefit from each other typically don't associate. So this "mutual" rule proves true for all human relations.

In romantic relationships, women want you to be "successful" for their benefit not yours: bragging rights, resources, status, security, connections, etc. She doesn't want any other woman having access to these resources. If she cannot "control you" on some level.. it means there is a very real possibility that you could give other women (better women) access to your resources and cut her off completely down the road (another reason women love marriage). When women secure a man.. they quickly move to degrade his self-esteem and turn him into a fearful co-dependent faggot. Most women accomplish this through judgmental babbling, nagging, selective affection and moodiness. Once she succeeds at dominating him emotionally, she can get him to do stupid things that only benefit HER like marriage. Marriage and emotional domination ensures other women are not a significant threat and cannot gain easy access to her man's resources that she wants all for herself. If she has you under control.. she has your resources under control.

Moral of the story? No one gives a sh!t about you. So you would have to be both a sucker and a faggot to live on other people's terms. You are just making yourself easier to exploit. Sure.. everyone will "like you" but not for the right reasons. Respect trumps love. Power trumps intimacy. Why? Because the first two are masculine, while the second two are feminine. Men only "win" when they play the masculine game. Women win when they play the feminine game.

 

[TheFixer14]

I agree with all of this. But personally I don't operate that way.

For example, John Boyega is the same "type" as me as far as acting and wasn't famous when he got Star Wars. But I wasn't jealous when he got that role (though that would have been a dream come true). I was very happy to see a black guy be a storm trooper.

Better yet I used to be friends with Darrell Wallace Jr, a black driver. That was my dream to do what he is doing. But I am not jealous. I instead cheer for him. Whenever he does well it feels like I do well.

I got a friend who won the Daytoma 500 and another who is a fulltime NASCAR xfinity driver. But I couldn't be more happy for them.

I realized that everyone has their own path, so why would I be jealous or not care about someone's success? I believe that this is a sign of maturity.

 

[wifehunter]

Sure, if we're talking about evil people. On the other hand, there are people who are happy when you make progress and prosper. (Hmm, I'm thinking Star Trek right now)

 

[Scars]

Being an entrepreneur and having created my own successful business, I agree and have seen this to the "extreme". A lot of people will say they are "happy for you", but if you look at their actions, it's far from the truth. The better you do, the more you inadvertently point out everyone else's flaws, and NOBODY likes that. People want to bring you down, nobody wants to feel inferior.

I agree with the statement that you are the sum of the 5 closest people you associate with. Basically, if you hang out with losers, you're going to be a loser. Hang out with successful people, who have goals and ambitions in life, and that positive mindset WILL rub off on you.

Most people do not have your best interest, but there are people who are doing better than you that you can learn from and it will improve your life.

I joined a mastermind, one of my buddies I met is making about $100k/m, after 8 months, my business grew about 1000%. The positive mindset these people bring will inadvertently allow you to crush any mental barriers you may have. "If he can do it, so can I."

Do you want a great body, and 6 pack abs? Hang out with people who have great bodies, who go to the gym, people who make you feel uncomfortable and make you want to STRIVE to be better. If you hang out with people who go out to dinner and order salads, you're going to get one too. Hang out with people who stuff their face with cheeseburgers and greasy fries.. well, guess what.

Everyone thought I was crazy when I quit my job and started my own business. My friends, even my own family talked ****. My baby mama left me, and I went through a severe depression, but in he end, I made my dream come true. It was not an easy road. It was lonely, but you know what? I wouldn't change a damn thing, and I really have to THANK the haters because it lit a fire under my ass like you wouldn't believe. Failure wasn't an option. I knew I was going to make it happen. It wasn't a matter of "IF" it was "WHEN".

Just remember, if you don't have haters, then your life is boring, you aren't accomplishing anything. Haters come out of the woodwork when you start doing **** worth while with your life. Just brush and laugh it off, keep doing you. The higher your status becomes, the more haters you have and the more extreme measures people will try to take to take you down. Don't let anyone ever take your drive away. Stay on your path and continue to improve your life.

 

[Poon King]

I remember when I was a kid living with my father, he wanted me to either become a monk for a year because he used to be the head priest of his temple, get married and buy a house, or go work. I did none of those things. I went to college and used my financial aid refund to pay rent. The rent wasn't good enough. He wanted me to do what he wanted. It was almost like he was c0ckblocking me somehow. Years later he's never acknowledge my career or anything. And he is still resentful that I didn't follow his agenda. That I had a mind of my own. His agenda had nothing to do with me becoming successful and independent. I was blown away when I realized his resentfulness came from a ego frame battle of "I'm your father, you have to do as I say" rather than the frame of "You have to become the best you can be so you can be independent."

Till this day, I can't believe how petty he is. Most people really are stuck in their egos. They are machines. There's no love coming from egoic machines. If I had listened to him. I'd be married with kids I can't support and a mortgage I can't pay off and he'd be riding the sunset living for free. But now he is a tax driver who still has to work in his 60's. The funniest thing of all is that he is mad that I am right and he will never acknowledge it.

A lot of people are egoic machines that would rather be right than actually have things work out.

Hah.. I experienced some of the same sh!t from my family.

I was even told those exact words: "Oh, you have a mind of your own.. you don't like to listen." Well of course I have a mind of my own. I'm not a f*cking house pet. I also have the same experience of deliberately ignoring "advice" from family and succeeding anyway. Oooh.. they hate that sh!t.

I'll admit that I didn't completely set myself free from caring about my family's judgement until pretty recently. Its very easy to be in denial when to comes to family members. We have to remember at the end of the day that they are just "people" who happen to be related to us. They're not special outside of that.

Lucky for both of us.. we gained wisdom at a young age. I feel sorry for people who don't learn the truth about the human ego until they're old, sick and grey. By then.. they have likely wasted their lives living on other people's terms and allowing guilt, shame, and fear to rule them. If there is a person in your life you are afraid to say "NO" to.. you are that person's b!tch. Plain and simple. Mother, father, wife, friend, cousin, girlfriend, etc.

 

[Dingo]

The only thing that has ever loved me unconditionally is my hunting dog...

 

[bigneil]

The only thing that has ever loved me unconditionally is my hunting dog...

You guys wonder why I love a certain girl so much. The first time I woke up next to her, I thought it was my cat cuddled up with me but it was her knee on my chest. It is only in those moments that you see a woman's true feelings for you.

 

[wifehunter]

Unconditional love is a myth.

...the path to codependency.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Unconditional love is a myth

What about from a animal to person standpoint?

 

[SmooveMooves]

I find this dynamic only occurs when you are progressing and others are stagnant. If you surround yourself with positive people who are actively improving as you are these people root for your success. Rather than having a 'me against the world' attitude, you can surround yourself with a network of like-minded individuals striving for greatness.

The other side of the coin.

 

[wifehunter]

What about from a animal to person standpoint?

I'd call it affection/loyalty.

Love is something else...