Theory on why Women Loose Interest in LTR

[djSlvt]

Talking about marriage, after a while women will loose interest, the spark will be gone, so to speak. I don't want to hear that AFC sh1t that there are many happily married couples out there, who had kids leave home, and they are just like the day they met each other. That's bull sh1t.


Thesis: Women loose interest in a marriage because they are genetically preprogrammed to move on once their offspring is raised.



We know that women will look for great husbands, meaning men who make good husbands, those who have qualities to stay with them and be there to raise their offspring. This truth is proven in animal world, as well as in human world. It is even endorsed by church, and many social conditionings that evolved for many thousands of years.

It is natural to presume that women will loose interest once their offspring has been raised. Again, this too have valid basis in the animal world. The reason being, we could further presume, is to chase the male away in order to perhaps meet another male and make with him and produce other offspring with different gens, to further insure survival of her own gens.


This theory that women are genetically programmed to leave their husbands after certain amount of time, also means that this genetic programming will affect them chemically. Causing mood swings, lack of sexual desire, lost interest, etc.

 

[Rata Blanca]

Interesting, got any sources, etc?

 

[Wyldfire]

Women typically lose interest in their husband after being married for awhile because the husband doesn't bother himself with continuing to make her desire him sexually. When the husband does that, sex becomes an unpleasant chore and a burden instead of something the wife enjoys and looks forward to.

 

[djSlvt]

Yes, I too believe in that. But I have this theory that offers an alternative on why this happens.


Most PUA agree that the happiest a man could be is with different short lived and intense relationships, not one long boring LTR. This theory offers an explanation why it is that way.


My theory assumes that even if a PUA is married, female will loose interest in him, eventually. I also think that DJing efforts towards her are there to trick her brain into not going into this "let's leave my hubby mode."

 

[Wyldfire]

It's the man's behavior and actions that determine how well he can hold a woman's interest. Women are reactive...and everything they do in a relationship is a reaction to something the man is doing or has done. When a woman feels the need to leave a man it is because he has either consciously or subconsciously done something that led her to react that way. When a man is able to acknowledge this simple truth, and learns how to carefully plan his actions to get the reaction he wants he will never be left by a woman he doesn't want to lose as long as he is able to control his actions properly.

 

[djSlvt]

That is a theory, and I do believe it is easy to disprove. That indeed is not a truth, althought it has some basis for it to be true.


In my life I've known more than a few DJs who were married several times, then divorced, after they had kids. In fact, I don't know a single player who is hapilly married and for a long time. All the men I know who are good with women, are either divorced, or were never married. By all means they are good with women, and very successful in life.

I doubt that we can name men who were successful in proving that theory. (your theory)



Men that are good with women and married, often complain that they become wallets rather than husbands to their wifes after certain amount of time in marriage. This is rather universal. This goes towards my argument that women pick their men to be good husbands and provide them and their offspring. This is beyond just getting good gens, this is survival after mating.

Thus we can say that women are looking for providers (during the marriage) so that their offspring has a good chance at future. This is also why rich guy is more valuable than hot guy.



There is census data to back up my theory. Most divorces occur after kids grow up and leave home, about 20 years. You will also know more than a few couples in your life who went through this. Timing for this is especially amazing. My believe is that it is not man's fault, rather women's genetical programming.

 

[Buck Rogers]

Once men get married, routine starts and the monontony of everyday life means the men feel like there is no longer any effort to impress, no need to try anymore, theyve got their woman for life and become complacent thus becoming more relaxed in their attitudes to grooming, looks and most importantly their attitudes towards there wife.

Women however constantly need reassurance theat they are loved, needed and respected and still have the need to be made to feel beautiful and special and still want to be impressed

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

These are the fundamental differences, once the the female starts to feel unloved, unwanted etc, there is a shift in priorites for the woman and the need to go out and get what they need elsewhere be it from a hobby, a club, or another guy.

 

[Skilla_Staz]

My thoughts, don't stop doing what got you there in the first place. Remain a challenge. Remain fun. Remain confident.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Remain a challenge. Remain fun.

How do you remain a challenge ??? give me examples of how to remain "fun" ???

 

[djSlvt]

The part of remaining a challenge and fun, I theorize, tricks woman's brain from going into the state where she'd go through stages that will make her hate her husband and eventually leave him or make his life miserable. I believe, genetics are at play, and there isn't much a man can do, as it is a constant struggle.


This theory also tells us that the best we can have with women is having sex with them, and then getting another one. I also think that making children and paying child support is much more rewarding - provided that female is submissive enough to allow her kids see you.

 

[Last Man Standing]

You guys are so way off -- you have it backeards - it is the guys that usually lose interest - it is the woman that must keep herself attractive so that the man can keep his interest!!! Men don't have to keep a woman's interest sexually -- they just have to open their legs!!! It is the man that must get excited to perform - NOT the woman!!!!!!!!!!

 

[djSlvt]

NO. Actions of women, during the marriage, makes men become this "wallet" figure, a provider. An inexperienced man, an AFC of sorts, will go with it because society and his wife expects him to provide good living for her and her children.


Don't say this is all wrong, this is a different perspective.

 

[Drum&Bass]

your theory is foolish
your attempt to try to create a theory is idiotic

..there is no theory in life, you like most other dizzy chumps fail to realize that you can't come up with a neat and organized behavior pattern for people...there are to many variables and to many people whose minds don't work like yours.

To say that all women grow tired of men after they have kids and get older proves your obvious retardation.
Women who jump for the next best thing are women with issues...women with issues SHOULD BE AVOIDED..women who jump ship after having kids with one man to have kids with another !?!?!!?

Why would an aging woman want to risk a stable relationship to have more kids with a new exciting guy. After her previous kids are all grown up she would probably be to old to safely have more kids, stupid !
unless she had kids very VERY young and things didn't work out with her 1st baby's daddy and wants another guy (that seems more reasonable).

worry about you and yours and be the best man you can possibly be till the day you die.

Don't say this is all wrong, this is a different perspective.

Its a pointless waste of time and effort to think about.

Most PUA agree that the happiest a man could be is with different short lived and intense relationships, not one long boring LTR. This theory offers an explanation why it is that way.

Wrong, you only know the scumbags in your everyday circle of friends and I'm pretty sure most of your scumbag friends will have you believe that they like bouncing from relationship to relationship but TRUTHFULLY I've never met a guy that was happily single or had enough desire to seek many different women for short intense relationships in my life. However I am familiar with a ton of guys that do their best to cope with being single (including PUA's, DJ's, Players, Pimps etc).

sorry sjSlvt, you read to many internet topics and articles to know how the REAL world works...you LOSE again.

 

[Wyldfire]

One of my new college classes this Mod is on Aging. There is a Study on Aging from Harvard University of over 840 people that shows that married men live considerably longer than unmarried men. This study started looking at the people in the study from their teen years and followed them all throughout their life. Men who had the ability to forgive, were married, were able to move on when things were bad...all lived longer than men who did not have those things. It's really interesting. I'm in the process of reading the book we are using...class starts next week. The book is Aging Well by George E. Vaillant, MD. It's a very interesting read thus far.

 

[wayword]

One of my new college classes this Mod is on Aging. There is a Study on Aging from Harvard University of over 840 people that shows that married men live considerably longer than unmarried men. This study started looking at the people in the study from their teen years and followed them all throughout their life. Men who had the ability to forgive, were married, were able to move on when things were bad...all lived longer than men who did not have those things. It's really interesting. I'm in the process of reading the book we are using...class starts next week. The book is Aging Well by George E. Vaillant, MD. It's a very interesting read thus far.

Correlation =/= causation.

Unhealthy men are less likely to marry to begin with. Women are less likely to marry a guy in poor physical/mental condition and tend to select the healthier specimens. And, marriage-type guys (often beta providers) tend to take less risks, live more sensibly and plan for their future more. Therefore, marriage is more just a related symptom than direct cause here.

Hence, these same benefits can really be reaped without actual marriage. I think it is healthy for people to have commited partners (teamwork) that they can rely on, but marriage is not really required for that. Especially when it is usually accompanied by devastating divorce in this country like PB&J.

Anyhow, if you are worrying about keeping her interest, it's because you were dumb enough to marry and give her all the financial and legal leverage in your relationship. In most other countries or unmarried couples, the woman has to worry about keeping HIS interest.

 

[djSlvt]

your theory is foolish
your attempt to try to create a theory is idiotic

As you are unable to disprove my theory, your next course of action is to attack me. That is rather predictible and simple human behaviour. A DJ, even moderately advanced, understands this well. IMO I think you're a troll, and thus you go on the troll list. Because I find you rather simple and naive, not what a DJ is like, not because you disagree with me, which you are unable to do in the first place without attacking me personally.

 

[Wyldfire]

The study actually shows that being married had a greater impact on extending a man's life than physical health, diet, exercise, etc. I'm guessing it is probably because when people get old, having a companion to keep you company makes you happier than you would be if you were old and alone.

 

[wayword]

I'm guessing it is probably because when people get old, having a companion to keep you company makes you happier than you would be if you were old and alone.

Sure, but again, you don't need marriage to have a companion and marriage certainly doesn't guarantee it, either. You should know that - as you have been married twice now and are still old and alone.

Not to pick on you, but that is pretty common nowadays. People marry when times are good but ditch before sickness and bad health begin. Faithful long-term companionship has little to do with marriage anymore in our self-centered, "no fault" divorce culture these days...

I think marriage will become an obsolete rarity in about 2-3 generations.

 

[Wyldfire]

Sure, but again, you don't need marriage to have a companion and marriage certainly doesn't guarantee it, either. You should know that - as you have been married twice now and are still old and alone.

Not to pick on you, but that is pretty common nowadays. People marry when times are good but ditch before sickness and bad health begin. Faithful long-term companionship has little to do with marriage anymore in our self-centered, "no fault" divorce culture these days...

I think marriage will become an obsolete rarity in about 2-3 generations.

I've been married once. If you're going to make attempts at being passive aggressive it loses impact when done so haphazardly. You consider me old, but I don't consider myself old. I don't feel old, I don't look old and I certainly don't act old. It's how I feel about my age that matters...and I've never been one to feel afraid or insecure of getting older. I'm also anything but alone. All of my children live with me...the youngest only 7 years old. A little time "alone" would actually be kind of nice. I have never had that.

And again...I'm only giving the facts from the study...it states quite specifically that men who are married (not just have companions) live considerably longer than men who are not. If you don't like the results you need to take it up with Harvard University.

 

[Drum&Bass]

Thesis: Women loose interest in a marriage because they are genetically preprogrammed to move on once their offspring is raised.

Wyldfire once you had children did you feel the need to leave their father ???? Are you friends with with married women who have children that are grown up and out of the house ?? Do these same women want to leave their husbands so they can become impregnated again by other men ??