TheDon Juan Way of Handling another guy

[blinkwatt]

At work there is this guy who jokes around about being gay"your so hot","your so cute" and he even tries hug me. I would push him off but he is huge. I think he is doing it cause he thinks the ladies like it,by the way he is a a.f.c. How would you fellow Don Juans tell him to knock it off. He is makin me start to look bad in front of the ladies.

 

[Iamnotacrook]

:crackup:

Actually, it's possible that he IS gay(more likely bisexual) and that's no joke. I would laugh it off the first few times, because it sounds funny, but I wouldn't put up with it on a regular basis.

That being said, I've never been in a situation like this. My advice is to get a little pissed over it, but keep it mature. Just don't be in the mood to put up with it.

On a side note, don't be high on marijuana when someone wants to play like that... you'll get the damn giggles... that's sure to make you look gay. Then you'll get pissed off because they'll call you gay in front of everyone.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Uh, sometimes I kid around like that, but I wouldn't go around trying to hug someone. Yeah he is making you look bad, think of him as a ****blocker - and the best offense against a ****blocker is putting him in his place, you gotta own this guy soon to make yourself alpha, cause this tool is making you his beta.

DO YOU WANNA BE BETA, I didn't think so. Now go own him.

 

[dyce]

say "man, stop being a f.ag"

 

[Triple X]

or "look man, I bat for the home team, you bat for the homo team. Go find someone on your own side to play with"

 

[oakraiderz2]

Youre scared to push him OFF OF YOU? Whats he gonna do? Beat you down cause you didnt let him grope you?

 

[Kaine]

You are getting some crap advice.

Without too much information about your environment or yourself. I assume unlike myself that you do not workout nor do you have martial arts background. Best to use your brain in any situation avoid direct confrontation where possible.

Use ****y humor to disarm, actually treat him if he was a girl trying to hit on you.


When he says your are hot or sexy, agree with him::

"Damn girl, quit hitting on me at work it's unproffesional"

"Hey get in line like everyone else"

"Look but don't touch"

"Ah another appreciative fan"

"Is it my autograph you want?"

etc the oppurtunities are endless

You need to be 100% calm, cool and comfortable. Do not look like he is affecting you negatively. This is the cool guy approach.

He's going to be the one coming off gay not you. This kind of confidence will even work to your favor around the ladies.

Since this is a work environment you need to remain professional, if it escalates beyond this you need to see your manager. This is not a bar situation.


Kaine

 

[dyce]

^watch out, that C&F mite attract him hahah jk :woo:

 

[DJDamage]

Originally posted by blinkwatt
At work there is this guy who jokes around about being gay"your so hot","your so cute" and he even tries hug me. I would push him off but he is huge. I think he is doing it cause he thinks the ladies like it,by the way he is a a.f.c. How would you fellow Don Juans tell him to knock it off. He is makin me start to look bad in front of the ladies.

He is making you look bad, because you allow it. He knows that you are sensetive and not thick skinned. You are not yet comfertable in your own skin and you allow people to get to you because you care too much what they think.

Your best bet is to either do the following :

1) Hug him back and say out loud so the ladies will hear " I LOVE YOU too big guy, I will see you in the broom closet in 15 minutes ok???- this will make the ladies giggle and hopefully disarm the guy because his jokes are not getting to you anymore.

2) Let him hug you and then push him away in fear and run behind the girls and say - "Holy sh1t the dude has a hardon! and I thought he was playing all along, please protect me"! - Now he would look bad and not you.

 

[NewMan]

If you are not alpha enough (read to afraid) to go after him - or too intimidated - all you have to do, is report him (or threaten to rpt him) to HR for sexual harrasment.

That is a big deal nowadays and one companies do not take lightly.

My advice though, is next time he does this, say in a loud commanding voice:

"WHAT IS WORNG WITH YOU?" and look at him? and repeat

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU"

and wait for a reply.

if he says nothing repeat until he says something or goes away.

 

[DinoCassanova]

I've only had one situation where I was seriously "hit on" by a member of the same sex, and it was my (gay) cousin's live-in b/f. You know how with gay couples alot of times it seems as though one is more , well, manly, and the other is more "flaming" ? He was / is definitely the more flaming one. So he caught me one sunny day when I was at this block party , on my cousin's block, and I had gone into their place to, I don't know, use the washroom or whatever. He was inside and my cousin was down on the street. And so anyway when I was on my way back out he started at me with his little rap. He said he always thought I was a really attractive man, etc., he asked about my sexuality ( I was single at the time), and he basically just flat-out asked if he could "service" me. That was the first (and has been the last) time that anything like that's ever happened to me. I basically just handled it by being firm, but still nice let's say. I don't take it as an insult; I mean technically it's complimentary one way or the other. It's just not for me. I know what I am , and what I'm not, and that's that. So I just told him, No no no no no no no NO. I'm sorry. Can't do it. He pressed on with a why not??, trying to sound "playful". I said, A) I'm not INTO that, as I told you I'm STRAIGHT, and B) even if I were , you've been w/my cousin for the past ten years for god sakes !! (BTW, it seems like, I hate to say this, but it seems like gay males just tend to lead really really promiscuous lives compared to other people, even when they're in so-called "monogamous relationships"). So anyway he backed off, and then he immediately started pleading for me not to tell my cuz. Which I never did (why start sh*t ?) . He said my cousin would "beat" him ! lol !! WTF ??? Anyway , they're still together today, and they have since moved out of state together.

Anyway, in your case though I highly doubt that this guy's gay or anything like that. He's probably just goofing around with you, albeit in a very odd way. But you should just be straightforward and say flat-out to him, Stop that, please ! I'm not kidding ! I'm uncomfortable with it, and if you keep it up there's going to be trouble ! (By trouble I mean you should threaten him with, as another poster here said, a sexual harrassment complaint). And I'm sure that'll do it. ~Dino

 

[flexion_]

I'm not sure how you can put your self in the position of being hugged? The guy has to come at you from the front. I'd just inadvertantly elbow him in the face or something... or better yet... when he comes close to you just start writing on his face with a pen.

He may need to be trained.

Its not normal behaviour not matter what is motive is when at work.

 

[C00L]

Its really easy. look him dead in the face and say dont touch me.

 

[avrilishot]

this is what I would do. first say dude are you really gay? if he says no tell him to stop acting like it cause the chicks think we are.
if he say yes tell him to seriously to leave you alone cause its creeping you out.

 

[Soprano]

Originally posted by NewMan
If you are not alpha enough (read to afraid) to go after him - or too intimidated - all you have to do, is report him (or threaten to rpt him) to HR for sexual harrasment.

That is a big deal nowadays and one companies do not take lightly.

My advice though, is next time he does this, say in a loud commanding voice:

"WHAT IS WORNG WITH YOU?" and look at him? and repeat

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU"

and wait for a reply.

if he says nothing repeat until he says something or goes away.

lol that's the worst advice ive ever read

 

[Ken785]

just say with a ****y smile..." damn i know im handsome and everything, but i dont swing that way bro..."

 

[Man Of Adventure]

"Ladies, that my *****!!!" *motion* "Come here MAN meat!" *paw gesture* plus a slap in his ass. Etc etc. Dont feel like describing any more. Acting gayer than him will only give the girls more laughs...its also an opportunity to act stupid and get it through a hot chicks head that "Hey, I do what I want, I dont need to be all swave...and Ill act any way as I please regardless of what you think of me cuz I dont ****in care...****. Im gonna have some fun with this and youll likely join in if you arent a total snooty brat." Ive done this with gay guys too and the girls just cant help but laugh. Of course Im out just to get good laughs, have a great time, and spend time with girls knowing I can do whatever the **** I want and theyll love every second of it.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by C00L
Its really easy. look him dead in the face and say dont touch me.

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

I don't think in this situation it would be appropriate to do things the don juan way.

This guy is making you look weak around people. You might not see it but trust me the ladies definitely have noticed and you are looking more like a fool/the guy that gets joked around with, rather than the confident alpha male (real men take no bs from nobody, and women love these men).

Many of us have been bullied and the truth of it all is that you will get bullied till you yourself stop it. In this case you will have this guy joking you around and making you look weak until the day you stop it.

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by DinoCassanova
and he basically just flat-out asked if he could "service" me.

comon Dino, we all know you let him, and since then, you haven't been looking back.