The wall hurts so much

[Junach]

Look at this post (https://www.quora.com/Do-you-regret...s-you-made-in-your-20s/answer/Amanda-Woods-23), she has hit the wall so hard even before loosing all her youthful beaty (she's 26, but probably depreciated a lot throughout the years) (or will hit the wall) and wishes she knew these things in advance. Well, probably your folks tried to tell you, as well as your boyfriends, but you were so pigheaded and stupid.

That has its cost of course. Alone with cats it is. Oh well.

[I don't know if this is the right forum, please move it elsewhere if not]

I’m 26.
Things I regret:

1. Breaking up with 5 really good guys for no reason other than the fact that they had a problem with my drinking and smoking… they were willing to tolerate it and be around it without any comments at all, but I still dumped them just for knowing they found something I was doing that they didn’t like. I’ve only recently noticed that I’ve let my ego cloud my decisions and judgment most of my life.
2. Being to influenced by friends and not figuring out what I am all about and what really makes me happy. Deciding to stay friends with bad people for way to long (10 years plus), people who I let influence me and talk me into things that were not in my best interest. People who, looking back… only cared about themselves. For example, my “best girlfriends” talked me into breaking up with all of those guys, and looking back they were manipulating me so I would have more time to spent with them. I can’t blame anyone but myself though. The guy I broke up with 5 years ago I still think about daily and I feel like I still am in love with him and I have this whole time. He is married now, so I have to move on but no matter what I do I can’t get it off my mind after this long. I broke up with him and got back together with him three times before he finally decided that was enough and started seeing a different girl. Know when to get people out of your life!!!!! If you think you should, DO IT NOW! Before years pass and you regret not moving away from them faster.
3. Getting on the open road on my motercycle before practicing in a parking lot. That was a disaster…. I will have all kinds of road rash on my knuckles and side for the rest of my life. The scars are cool, but the moment of impact will never leave my mind. I don’t know if I will ever be brave enough to get on a motercycle again… and riding on the back of a motercycle used to be my all time favorite thing to do…. the freedom, the wind in your hair… the bugs hitting your face…. ahhh, those were great days.
4. Stealing and other silly things that led to me end up arrested a couple times. Its just not worth it at all…. Sucks up time, money and pride… and does lead to regret.
5. Stripping for a night just to say I did. It was a disturbing reality to be in the dressing room with all of the strippers. I wish I still had some kind of innocents left.
6. Caring so much about my appearances that I got permanent makeup tattoos…. they really are permanent. I thought I would love my Beyonce brows forever…. you have no idea how many times kids have asked me what is wrong with my eyebrows.
7. Caring so much about my cell phone that I had to learn the hard way to keep my eyes on the road.
8. Not cherishing the precious time I had with my family that is no longer here. Not loving and appreciating my living family the way I can and want too…. but I am trying so hard at this now. I don’t want to have regrets about this again.
9. I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT THE THINGS I WISH I COULD TAKE BACK… BUT I CAN’T. Just like no one can tell you when outer space ends, or what 100 years from now on earth will look like, you can’t take anything back in life. We can only learn from it or fall into a terrible depression and hate ourself. I know I feel regret more deeply than I ever imagined anyone could. I know that the only person I can blame is myself. That is depressing. The ONLY thing we can do is TRY to find some way to distract ourself and remember that you have to love yourself more than anything. Its hard for me, I can’t help but judge myself for all of the things I have done, and believe me, I didn’t list most of them, this list Is just one bite of the cookie. I can’t help but be disappointed in myself for wasting so much time. I can’t help but be sad thinking about things I could have done differently that could have caused me to be happier. But since there is nothing to do about it I have to move on. I never imagined myself being an old depressed woman. Right now I feel like if I don’t make a drastic decision to love myself and work on treating myself like my own best friend, with true compassion, I will never be able to be anything but depressed. If you ever feel alone, trust me, you are not. I feel very alone, in fact… I have gotten rid of all but two friends who I rarely see or talk to. But I know there is someone out there who feels almost the way I do, and that doesn’t want to stay depressed forever just like I don’t. Forgiving myself and working through this has been for a long time and is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I have to do this because, this is the only life we are guaranteed. My ex’s are all moved on and happy… and just like them I HAVE TO move on and make myself happy. I have to accept that I might be alone for the rest of my life after ****ing up so many good things, but thats just the way it is. At the end of the day, if I ever have children or grandchildren, I can tell them all about their crazy mom/grandma and try to help them avoid some of the crazy things I did. But if they are anything like me they won’t listen. I guess some people really do have to learn everything the hard way. I know I’ve had to learn the hard way about everything and have never listened to given wisdom or advice in the past. If something good comes out of all of this, it is that I will appreciate good people and good times in life much more than I ever would have. When everything comes so easy you forget to be thankful. I could go on and on, but I will stop here. If you are ever feeling down about yourself, feel free to message me. I am very empathetic and will talk to you about it.

 

[AttackFormation]

Red flags by category, not counting the unspecified things she says that she doesn't say:

Self-destructive addiction
✓ Drinking
✓ Smoking
✓ Cell phone

Thrill seeking
✓ Highway speeding (with no previous vehicle experience)
✓ Stealing "and other silly things"

Negative self-esteem
✓ Attention seeking by stripping
✓ Peer-based decision making

There you go.

 

[logicallefty]

I sense some genuine regret on her part. But I also think this is not only funny, but fairly common with today's women.

The line that caught my attention most was "My ex’s are all moved on and happy…" That right there, is something we all as men need to have awareness of. Women HATE when you move on, get over them, and have a better life. That is the ultimate 'revenge' a man can get.

 

[Poon King]

That's why I have the following link in my signature:

 

[Helpabrotherout]

This lady sounds like something you'd find at a truck stop, what's the term? Lot lizard?

The motor cycle thing, then stealing, stripping, then I got to the make up tattoos. Never heard of that but after that I stopped reading.

What makes someone lose that much control to let themselves do such foolish things?

 

[logicallefty]

This lady sounds like something you'd find at a truck stop, what's the term? Lot lizard?

The motor cycle thing, then stealing, stripping, then I got to the make up tattoos. Never heard of that but after that I stopped reading.

What makes someone lose that much control to let themselves do such foolish things?

Lot lizzard lol yep.

There isn't a single male or female on Earth who doesn't do foolish things sometime in their life. But to do as many as this woman did, and many woman do, what causes that you ask? The technical term is mental illness. Or in common terms; b|tch be crazy..

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

While it's easy to bash on somebody like this, consider how you would disqualify her in the easiest way possible, conversationally, if she didn't have obvious scars and makeup tats.

Imagine if she WAS pretty good looking (no clear tats, etc), and you had ten minutes to talk to her. How would you disqualify her knowing nothing about her?

 

[Helpabrotherout]

Disqualify her? If she was good looking. And had the past she had? I don't think it would take 10 minutes to next a female like this. Kinda like having a very appealing book. Then you read the back cover and it has a two second half a$$ed write up. Would you read the book from first to last page? I think even if you had nothing better to do and read the first chapter. In my opinion, I'd set it back down.

 

[fastlife]

1. Act really open minded
2. Ask broad questions re: "relationships"
3. Sit back and enjoy the show

To add a few:

4. Talk about your own crazy situations w/ other girls or impulsive situations...she'll reciprocate.
5. Disqualify her for being too innocent, I.e. "You seem cool but I don't think we'll get along. You're way too innocent. Probably only like missionary and you'll get mad when I pull your hair." Watch lol (if you really want to have fun, disqualify her again for being too crazy after she tells you all the sh1t she's done).