Master of the Universe
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2002
- Messages
- 396
- Reaction score
- 12
Okay mi amigos, let's begin the journey. Up until this point, I thought I was a "virgin by choice" and would sarge girls to the point of being able to have sex with them, before I moved on to fresh meat.
It was at this point that I realized that I was running away from sex because I was scared. When I came to that realization, it was very difficult for me to accept, and things got bad. What's interesting and true though is that things usually have to get worse before they get better, as this was the case here.
Here's an excerpt from a post in a private forum, where I was sharing what's happening in my life in regards to work, school, family, and girls. I've excerpted the section on girls.
Originally posted 3/19/03
GIRLS
They say the chain is only as strong as the weakest link, and I think that this is my weakest link. The funny thing is that for years, this was actually my strongest link. Until I turned 24, and hired Mary (those of you from SoSuave might remember her), I had no interest in girls. Up till then, I would say that I have probably went out on four dates, and kissed only 2 or 3 girls. Looking at it from the knowledge I have today, I had tons of girls who were interested in me, but I was so focused on building my business, that I didn't see any of the signs, nor care for them in all honesty.
At times I wonder if it was a blessing or a curse that I ran into Mary, fell so head-over-heels for her, and found SoSuave. I haven't been the same sense. I've been sarging every girl that I've seen, read almost every seduction book I can get my hands on, and purchased (or otherwise acquired) pretty much every seduction program out there.
Sometimes I say to myself that I'm going to take a break from girls, but I can't. It's almost like a drug, and I'm an addict. The funny thing is that I am still a virgin. How the hell someone can still be a virgin after speaking to over 3,000 girls in a year's time is beyond me.
And it's not as simple as "just do it." If the girl is interested, I seem to always find a way not to pick up on the signs until after the fact, or not going for it, and when I do consciously force myself to go for a f-close, the girl is not interested.
Once in a while I'll wonder if I actually changed at all since learning seduction. I mean, I've been able to talk to people, build rapport, and get people to like me for years now. I learned this during the phase when I was building my business. Starting conversations with strangers and interacting with people was something I got good at before I came to the seduction community. In fact, I used to attract girls to me frequently - I just never realized it.
Now that I know what I know, I am a bit more directional. I know how to move the conversation into romantic aspects, more predictably get girls attracted in me, and stay away from the LJBF zone (I used to get in there frequently). I've made out with a good number of girls, went out on lots of dates, but I'm still the same person I was before coming here.
I think the reason I feel this way is because I judge myself based on results. I've never really cared what others thought of me, but I have judged my self-worth on the results I achieve. So since I'm still a virgin, I feel that my worth in this field is pretty poor - even though many guys who see me in action think that I am the biggest pimp they've seen.
And that's the thing that blows my mind - I've went to bars, I've seen guys work their game, and a lot of them get laid. But the response I get from girls is much stronger, I seem to have better rapport, get them laughing more, get them more excited, etc. But at the end, those guys get better results than me, even though I play an (apparently) better game. I don't get it.
One guy on SoSuave popped his cherry by going to a high priced hooker. I chimed in that it sounds like it was a worthwhile learning experience, and that I just might follow suit, but SexPDX had strong words against that, and he makes good points on the reasons not to go that route.
But the truth is that when I catch myself thinking, it's usually about seduction - and there's a frustration attached to it that wasn't there when I didn't want to f-close. I think that a lot of the loss of motivation and negative impact on my business is due largely to this. My unconscious seems to be having a duel between a part of me wanting badly (to the point of desperation, I'm ashamed to admit) to have sex, and another part doing everything it can to make sure that I don't have sex. With a battle like this raging in my mind, it's really no surprise that I feel like a leaf being blown by the wind.
End of original post
Master of the Universe
It was at this point that I realized that I was running away from sex because I was scared. When I came to that realization, it was very difficult for me to accept, and things got bad. What's interesting and true though is that things usually have to get worse before they get better, as this was the case here.
Here's an excerpt from a post in a private forum, where I was sharing what's happening in my life in regards to work, school, family, and girls. I've excerpted the section on girls.
Originally posted 3/19/03
GIRLS
They say the chain is only as strong as the weakest link, and I think that this is my weakest link. The funny thing is that for years, this was actually my strongest link. Until I turned 24, and hired Mary (those of you from SoSuave might remember her), I had no interest in girls. Up till then, I would say that I have probably went out on four dates, and kissed only 2 or 3 girls. Looking at it from the knowledge I have today, I had tons of girls who were interested in me, but I was so focused on building my business, that I didn't see any of the signs, nor care for them in all honesty.
At times I wonder if it was a blessing or a curse that I ran into Mary, fell so head-over-heels for her, and found SoSuave. I haven't been the same sense. I've been sarging every girl that I've seen, read almost every seduction book I can get my hands on, and purchased (or otherwise acquired) pretty much every seduction program out there.
Sometimes I say to myself that I'm going to take a break from girls, but I can't. It's almost like a drug, and I'm an addict. The funny thing is that I am still a virgin. How the hell someone can still be a virgin after speaking to over 3,000 girls in a year's time is beyond me.
And it's not as simple as "just do it." If the girl is interested, I seem to always find a way not to pick up on the signs until after the fact, or not going for it, and when I do consciously force myself to go for a f-close, the girl is not interested.
Once in a while I'll wonder if I actually changed at all since learning seduction. I mean, I've been able to talk to people, build rapport, and get people to like me for years now. I learned this during the phase when I was building my business. Starting conversations with strangers and interacting with people was something I got good at before I came to the seduction community. In fact, I used to attract girls to me frequently - I just never realized it.
Now that I know what I know, I am a bit more directional. I know how to move the conversation into romantic aspects, more predictably get girls attracted in me, and stay away from the LJBF zone (I used to get in there frequently). I've made out with a good number of girls, went out on lots of dates, but I'm still the same person I was before coming here.
I think the reason I feel this way is because I judge myself based on results. I've never really cared what others thought of me, but I have judged my self-worth on the results I achieve. So since I'm still a virgin, I feel that my worth in this field is pretty poor - even though many guys who see me in action think that I am the biggest pimp they've seen.
And that's the thing that blows my mind - I've went to bars, I've seen guys work their game, and a lot of them get laid. But the response I get from girls is much stronger, I seem to have better rapport, get them laughing more, get them more excited, etc. But at the end, those guys get better results than me, even though I play an (apparently) better game. I don't get it.
One guy on SoSuave popped his cherry by going to a high priced hooker. I chimed in that it sounds like it was a worthwhile learning experience, and that I just might follow suit, but SexPDX had strong words against that, and he makes good points on the reasons not to go that route.
But the truth is that when I catch myself thinking, it's usually about seduction - and there's a frustration attached to it that wasn't there when I didn't want to f-close. I think that a lot of the loss of motivation and negative impact on my business is due largely to this. My unconscious seems to be having a duel between a part of me wanting badly (to the point of desperation, I'm ashamed to admit) to have sex, and another part doing everything it can to make sure that I don't have sex. With a battle like this raging in my mind, it's really no surprise that I feel like a leaf being blown by the wind.
End of original post
Master of the Universe