Bungo Pony
Master Don Juan
This is the full update to what has happened for the past couple of weeks. I'd like to thank you all for your concern, and the past little while has been difficult, but not in the way some of you may think. Here's what has happened...
For those of you who aren't familiar with my situation at home, you may want to read this link: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?threadid=31605
In the past few months, I had been watching my father's health go downhill. I didn't think much of the whole thing except that he was probably going to die soon. On Friday July 25, 2003, I started my holidays. I had a whole two weeks to myself. My father had gone to bed that night while I was at my fiance's place. Early Saturday morning, I had to make a stop at home. My father was still sleeping which I found a little unusual since he usually goes grocery shopping right after he gets paid. However, I thought nothing of it and took my fiance to see a movie.
When we returned to her place, I got a message that my mother had called the ambulance and they rushed my father into the hospital. My mother couldn't wake up. I wasn't at all surprised, and we made our way down there.
My father was apparently a very sick man, and the doctor saw that the outcome was most likely not going to be good. My mother informed me that we may have a decision to make - whether to pull the plug on him. This brought on a lot of thinking.
This actually caused me to think of what my father actually DID for me. From my birth until age 16, he taught me some very good values. I began to get a bit emotional, but there was something that stopped it. These are things he DID for me. These things happened 9 years ago. After age 16, he started putting unnecessary restrictions on me. I was trying to think of what he had done for me lately, and I could think of nothing positive. It was all negative.
The next thing I began thinking of was his value to other people. To my knowledge, he had no friends. I knew of people who abandoned their friendship with him for one major reason: he was a user.
The last thing I thought of was how much he valued his own life. He's been miserable ever since I announced that I was getting married. His passion in life is to gamble. He spends his life trying to control various people. All he's done in the past 8 months is laid on the couch with the TV on, eating junk food, and falling asleep with a cigarette in his hand.
I knew my answer. This man had no value in his own life, and has caused himself a great deal of unhappiness. He winds up miserable because of his own actions. My mother's decision was the same as mine: Pull the plug.
By Sunday, my father's condition had started improving. Sunday night, he woke up.
Monday morning, I had plans to go out walking. However, my mother begged me to stay home and help her deal with the financial situation that my father had left her in. It was incredibly stressful. There was hardly any money in the bank, and there were bills that needed to be paid. My mother started breaking down from the pressure and I was the one left doing all the thinking. I made some very good suggestions and my mother made some good choices to protect herself financially. She was considering turning over the house to me if my dad didn't make it. I had ideas of how to use the house to better my own situation. This was when it became evident how much of a negative effect my father had on my mother's life, and how much we all would benefit if he didn't make it. We would be able to start rebuilding our lives for the better - both financially and emotionally.
My father's condition started rapidly improving. He was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure - in other words, his heart isn't pumping as strongly as it should which caused a buildup of fluid in his lungs.
While he was in the hospital, I made a very startling discovery about BOTH of my parents. My father didn't have any friends, but he was visited by family members he hadn't contacted in years, and by people he did work for. One man in particular was relating his experience with the hospital when he had a heart attack. Most of us know this as being empathetic.
My father had recieved this empathy as a personal attack. He saw it as the other party looking for pity for their worse condition. This was an incredible realization since I'd been trying to figure out why he would say things like "No matter what I did, someone had it worse" or "No matter what I did, they did it better". Empathetic people are great conversationalists, and we all know how well it works when conversing with women. It helps make a personal connection between two people. It's Pretty sad when someone shows that they care, and it's taken as offensive.
My dad was sent home two weeks later with a head start on quitting smoking, his new diet, he's recieved three different inhalers, medication, and a machine which blows oxygen into his lungs at night. Since then, my father has started smoking again and he's gone off his diet. He's still using the machine, but he's already called it a "farce". He's been given a second chance, but has already begun fvcking it up. What was the point of all the hard work preformed by the doctors, nurses, the ambulance, and even my mother calling 911? He's also been working harder on trying to change my mind on getting married, and he's incredibly rude to my fiance.
What's my point? Don Juans, take good care of yourself. The more you value your own life, the more others will value your existance. If you fix yourself onto a road of destruction, others will be happy to see you reach the end.
For those of you who aren't familiar with my situation at home, you may want to read this link: http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?threadid=31605
In the past few months, I had been watching my father's health go downhill. I didn't think much of the whole thing except that he was probably going to die soon. On Friday July 25, 2003, I started my holidays. I had a whole two weeks to myself. My father had gone to bed that night while I was at my fiance's place. Early Saturday morning, I had to make a stop at home. My father was still sleeping which I found a little unusual since he usually goes grocery shopping right after he gets paid. However, I thought nothing of it and took my fiance to see a movie.
When we returned to her place, I got a message that my mother had called the ambulance and they rushed my father into the hospital. My mother couldn't wake up. I wasn't at all surprised, and we made our way down there.
My father was apparently a very sick man, and the doctor saw that the outcome was most likely not going to be good. My mother informed me that we may have a decision to make - whether to pull the plug on him. This brought on a lot of thinking.
This actually caused me to think of what my father actually DID for me. From my birth until age 16, he taught me some very good values. I began to get a bit emotional, but there was something that stopped it. These are things he DID for me. These things happened 9 years ago. After age 16, he started putting unnecessary restrictions on me. I was trying to think of what he had done for me lately, and I could think of nothing positive. It was all negative.
The next thing I began thinking of was his value to other people. To my knowledge, he had no friends. I knew of people who abandoned their friendship with him for one major reason: he was a user.
The last thing I thought of was how much he valued his own life. He's been miserable ever since I announced that I was getting married. His passion in life is to gamble. He spends his life trying to control various people. All he's done in the past 8 months is laid on the couch with the TV on, eating junk food, and falling asleep with a cigarette in his hand.
I knew my answer. This man had no value in his own life, and has caused himself a great deal of unhappiness. He winds up miserable because of his own actions. My mother's decision was the same as mine: Pull the plug.
By Sunday, my father's condition had started improving. Sunday night, he woke up.
Monday morning, I had plans to go out walking. However, my mother begged me to stay home and help her deal with the financial situation that my father had left her in. It was incredibly stressful. There was hardly any money in the bank, and there were bills that needed to be paid. My mother started breaking down from the pressure and I was the one left doing all the thinking. I made some very good suggestions and my mother made some good choices to protect herself financially. She was considering turning over the house to me if my dad didn't make it. I had ideas of how to use the house to better my own situation. This was when it became evident how much of a negative effect my father had on my mother's life, and how much we all would benefit if he didn't make it. We would be able to start rebuilding our lives for the better - both financially and emotionally.
My father's condition started rapidly improving. He was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure - in other words, his heart isn't pumping as strongly as it should which caused a buildup of fluid in his lungs.
While he was in the hospital, I made a very startling discovery about BOTH of my parents. My father didn't have any friends, but he was visited by family members he hadn't contacted in years, and by people he did work for. One man in particular was relating his experience with the hospital when he had a heart attack. Most of us know this as being empathetic.
My father had recieved this empathy as a personal attack. He saw it as the other party looking for pity for their worse condition. This was an incredible realization since I'd been trying to figure out why he would say things like "No matter what I did, someone had it worse" or "No matter what I did, they did it better". Empathetic people are great conversationalists, and we all know how well it works when conversing with women. It helps make a personal connection between two people. It's Pretty sad when someone shows that they care, and it's taken as offensive.
My dad was sent home two weeks later with a head start on quitting smoking, his new diet, he's recieved three different inhalers, medication, and a machine which blows oxygen into his lungs at night. Since then, my father has started smoking again and he's gone off his diet. He's still using the machine, but he's already called it a "farce". He's been given a second chance, but has already begun fvcking it up. What was the point of all the hard work preformed by the doctors, nurses, the ambulance, and even my mother calling 911? He's also been working harder on trying to change my mind on getting married, and he's incredibly rude to my fiance.
What's my point? Don Juans, take good care of yourself. The more you value your own life, the more others will value your existance. If you fix yourself onto a road of destruction, others will be happy to see you reach the end.