The truth about confidence

[mahon83050]

THe most experience= the most confidence

The more I think about it, the more this is true.

You can be 6'3", look like Ben Affleck and have an MBA from Harvard but if you have little experience with women, you will not be confident.

Same applies to me, I am not as good as the above statement, but a step below that. However, my lack of LTR with women at a guy my age (30) is like a cancer that won't go away. It is hard to feel confident when you feel so far behind in what other guys your age have already experienced.


On the other hand, the George Constanza look alike who has been successful with women since he was in middle school will continue to be successful and confident due to his experience.

My point is, we are usually only confident in something when we have been exposed to a situation many times and are good at it.

 

[Jason88]

Come on

Confidence is found in more areas then just having more experiences with women.

If you believe what you just said...then you are already taking a step backwards.

 

[squirrels]

Come on

Confidence is found in more areas then just having more experiences with women.

If you believe what you just said...then you are already taking a step backwards.

Confidence comes from experience...more to-the-point, confidence comes from taking action. REAL confidence comes from doing and realizing that even if you fail (and you'll succeed more often than you think), it's not the end of the world.

If you think cofidence can be churned up with affirmations and special techniques, if you think it can be conjured up in some magic Don Juan pattern or spell, the YOU are the one taking steps backwards.

 

[Jason88]

Confidence comes from experience...more to-the-point, confidence comes from taking action. REAL confidence comes from doing and realizing that even if you fail (and you'll succeed more often than you think), it's not the end of the world.

If you think cofidence can be churned up with affirmations and special techniques, if you think it can be conjured up in some magic Don Juan pattern or spell, the YOU are the one taking steps backwards.

I'm not disagreeing with anything you said. However, the thread is making it sound like your confidence comes solely from experience with women. I say thats bull****. I didn't confidence comes from some spell or other **** your talking about...but more from everyday life. My confidence is dependent upon women and my experience with women...thats all I was trying to get across.

 

[squirrels]

You said this:

the thread is making it sound like your confidence comes solely from experience with women. I say thats bull****.

And then you said this:

My confidence is dependent upon women and my experience with women...thats all I was trying to get across.

Did I miss something semantically?

 

[Jason88]

I meant to say my confidence is not dependent on my experiences with women...

i thought you could figure that out from my whole argument

 

[John_Galt]

THe most experience= the most confidence

So if a woman is raped, since she has a new experience, she should be more confident? You need to shut the f*ck up and die!

 

[Vypros]

Confidence has a little bit to do with experience, in that your experiences REINFORCE your confidence.

But only in the sense that when you FAIL, you pick yourself up mentally, and keep moving forward, and when you are a SUCCESS, you pull yourself down to reality and don't let it go to your head.

 

[jimmyjack]

You are talking bull sh**t,i don't think you know what confidence means and more over confidence does not have anything to do with experience but i will explain to you how you can be confidence.To be confidence in your self you have to have the quality of being certain of your abilities or of having trust in people,plans or the future.So you have to start by creating your abilities first,the rest are not a big deal.Well i have explain to you but i guess you know what abilities means if you don't know what abilities means then you cannot have the qualities of being certain and you can never have confidence too.Confidence is a great quality.You will have confidence in your self by training yourself to get the ability and ability is a skill which you can pratice your self by taking actions.

 

[Holland]

Confidence is about effective knowledge and beliefs, put into committed action.

It's not necessarily about experience, even though experience can help to bring you knowledge and develop beliefs.

Advice: STOP EXCUSING!

 

[Matheau]

Experience has very little to do with confidence. Confidence is the ability to actually go and do something, and be able to accept the consequences for that action, good or bad. Experience will help with getting more favorable results from those actions and can help some people have more faith in their own abilities, but it isn't a situation where you need X to have Y.

Confidence is more about being able to put the effort and having realistic expectations for the results of those actions (overconfidence is having unrealistic expectations or assuming a particular outcome).

Confidence varies from person to person. Some people can completely fail nine times out of ten at something without it shaking their confidence. Another person will have their confidence completely shattered if one little thing doesn't go their way.

Confidence does not guarantee success, in fact, a confident person realistically expects the chance of failure. They don't assume it, but they can still take action without absolutely knowing they will get what they want. No amount of experience is going to change that very much. Experience will change the chance of getting the desired result, but it doesn't do very much to allowing people to take action without knowing whether or not they will get what they want.

 

[comic_relief]

My point is, we are usually only confident in something when we have been exposed to a situation many times and are good at it.

So, your telling me that confidence can only be gained by experience? I'm pretty sure that you can gain confidence in yourself without experience at all. There are always first times.

Actually, I believe that it is better to gain confidence in yourself before you go after women, otherwise you won't get any dates.

Confidence comes before women. In my experience? ALWAYS.

I didn't bag a single woman until I got confident in myself. Then, I started getting them like crazy.

Don't be so quick to judge.

comic_relief

 

[Full Throttle]

Experience only builds confidence when it was a confident, successful experience. Confidence is not rooted from experience.

 

[comic_relief]

Experience only builds confidence when it was a confident, successful experience. Confidence is not rooted from experience.

Really? I tend to disagree with that. Confidence is initially built on internal stimulus and if you do build it on external stimuli than if that external stimuli is taken away, than you will fall down.

Building confidence on the external is one of the major problems with people nowadays. It invites disaster, not growth.

This is why some people when they lose their girlfriend, they will go blow their brains out with a shotgun. They validated themselves externally and met with disaster, but a person that internally values themselves can actually just go on with living without too much damage.

This is the problem in my opinion with people nowadays is that they will externally value themselves, when in reality they should internally value themselves.

First internal value should come, and then the external value will come right afterwards.

comic_relief

 

[TheOnE111]

"It's not about how hard you hit, It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward..."

 

[JustDoItAlways]

Confidence is exactly like social proof except it is more powerful.

Social proof is when a woman sees you interacting with other women, flirting with them, sees that other women are attracted to you, sees that other women laugh and have fun with you. She takes the word of other women that you are a great guy to be around, are attractive and she is more attracted to you as a result.

Confidence uses the same principle, except in this case, she is not taking the word of other women, she is taking your own word about yourself. And who knows you better than yourself.

By being confident, you are telling her, based on your own experience, you are great guy to be around, women have found you attractive and that if she gets to know you better, she will find you attractive as well.

So, in a way, confidence is based on your own personal experience with other women, specifically successes with other women. But confidence is more about your life and your successes in life in general than it is about success with women alone.

Confidence also shows a woman that you will be successful in business (and women love the money of course), you will be a successful father etc. etc. And most importantly, you can make a relationship work, by making the first move with her, making the date happen, finding a solution to the first fight, not over reacting emotionally when things go wrong. Confident guys are better in relationships and women know this.

Having confidence is showing her on so many many levels that you are a great catch.

Confidence, however, does not have to follow from successes and experiences alone. You can "fake it till you make it" and over time, your new-found (faked?) confidence will actually lead to more successes and more genuine confidence down the road.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..Confidence, however, does not have to follow from successes and experiences alone. You can "fake it till you make it" and over time, your new-found (faked?) confidence will actually lead to more successes and more genuine confidence down the road.

Confidence is being comfortable enough in your actions where you are not worried. Depending on the situation, it could be immediate or it could take some time. Comfort is the key.

 

[tmpgstx]

Confidence is the "Winning Mindset" see thread in this forum. It addresses how confidence is gained. There is a formula, those are the guidelines.

Alot of it has to do with poise, focus and knowing your predicted outcome will happen, even (and in much of the time) against adversity.

 

[Holland]

Confidence doesn't come from over-analyzing where it comes from.

Confidence comes from not giving a shiit, knowing what you want and taking action.
You don't necesarily need that much experience to be confident even though it does build confidence, if it's the correct kind of experience.

I mean if you have the experience to get rejected by 9 out of 10 women for 5 years that is not going to make you confident.
Knowledge, understanding, detachment and action are what makes you confident, those create positive, effective experience i.o.w: wisdom.

 

[dot]

I mean if you have the experience to get rejected by 9 out of 10 women for 5 years that is not going to make you confident.

Okay then isn't that taking action?