The truth about 'alpha males'

[malestrom]

Well, guys...after browsing these forums for a while, I figured it was time to clear the air from all the accumulated myths surrounding the almighty 'alpha'. Especially after that god-awful thread from a few months ago by player_supreme titled: "how to tell if you're really an alpha"

I hate to bring the bad news, but what he wrote was so overloaded with fallacies, wishful thinking, bad arguments and flat-out hor5e****, that it's hard to even know where to begin. And, frankly, I'm not going to bother because that thread died ages ago.

However, let me just put it on the line for everyone so you can end all this frustrating alpha-male internal dialogue many of you are having with yourselves. Do you really want to know if you are or aren't? Here's how you can tell:

--if you have to ask yourself if you're an alpha male, you aren't one. And you aren't going to become one.--

Are you arguing with that statement? You aren't convinced? Let me ask a few more questions:


Would you ever even try to 'model' the alphamale characteristics if you knew it wouldn't make women more attracted to you (maybe even repelled them)?

Would you still want to be the alphamale in an all-male society such as prison, or if you were stranded on a desert island with 50 other guys?

Did you even know what it really meant to be an alphamale before you started reading about it within the context of seduction/don-juan/pua?


If you answered 'no' to any of the above questions, then congratulations, you can now rest with 100% assuredness: you are NOT an alpha male. If that is the case, please stop trying to be one because you can bet on this: you look like a fvcking idiot and people can sense your incongruency from first glance.

It doesn't mean you can't get laid with beautiful girls. Like I've said in the past:
Approach 10 girls a week, and even with a 95% failure rate you can still have a new woman in your life every 2 weeks.


See, being alpha isn't about attracting women. It's about your status among other men - which, as a side benefit, attracts women.

Alpha is part genetics and part upbringing. You can't 'become alpha' any more than you can change your natural eye color. Either you have it on a genetic and enviromental level - or you don't. It's that simple.

Most guys don't want to hear this because they

a) want to be THE guy in their social group - the envied, the admired, the pvssy magnet.

b) they think being alpha is the only way they'll draw loads of women to them without having to do approaches or all that other scary stuff.


...so they stay in denial about it, then walk around town like their king of the castle thinking that, eventually, it's all going to click and they'll obtain the coveted alpha-male status. Sorry - not going to happen.
Your better bet is to improve who you are naturally and do more approaches. Then, when you've got 4 hot girls battling it out over who gets to swallow your load, you won't even give a second thought how to be the big badazz in your social circle.


I think most of the imposters know who they are. If you are one, stop concerning yourself with all this alpha nonsense.
Just do this:
1) stop masturbating
2) stop looking at porn
3) approach 10 girls a week
4) sit back and let nature take its course
5) find me in a year and thank me

 

[drumr2]

Very good point, and this is why I take dating-type advice with a grain of salt.

You can improve yourself, but you cannot (and shouldn't) change yourself entirely. One looks more riduculous trying to be something they're not than when they were doing ridiculous things.

You may not always be a DJ with women, but ultimately, you still have to just be yourself. Believe it or not, there's a market for every type of person out there. Whether you're a dork, geek, weirdo, the shy-type, and it's also true that not all women are automatically attracted to the "alpha" types. Some women actually use their heads when they see a man, and those are the types I look for anyway.

So, just because you can't always be the life of the party, doesn't mean you wont ever get chicks.

It works both ways too. Personally, I've never been attracted to the Alpha Female types either. NEVER. In high school, I was always attracted to the geeky, quiet types, and generally ignored the cheerleaders. When I'm out in public, the loud, life-of-the-party girls completely turn me off. I go for the quiet ones.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Alpha is part genetics and part upbringing. You can't 'become alpha' any more than you can change your natural eye color. Either you have it on a genetic and enviromental level - or you don't.

Hmmmm I guess you didn't really read the thread. Cause that is what I surmised.

Now I wonder which one you are with a 2nd screen name.

It's cool I'm not here to argue. But it's good to see that you are in part agreement with me.

As I said you are either alpha or your not. And those that did read it will also realize that I said if your not, then your going to look very stupid trying to be something that your not.

I believe one of my last posts on that thread was just be who you are if I recall correctly.

You can't pretend and take on something that isn't your energy.

In answer to your question about 50 guys. Let me just say when the badest of the bad get together ( I just can't quite figure out which old poster you really are ) uhhh lets just call you star-brain-finkle-nova...lets just call me boss.

Now since you've done your research on this subject I would be happy to hear what you've found out. There is a e-book out there on how to act like an alpha it's a good place to start. But the author isn't aware that you can't create the energy of a alpha male.

You are either born with it or you not as I also said in my post.

Peace friend. No harm done. I will not ingage you in debate or flaming attempts.

I'm going to do the grainer thing and bow out.

Crotch sniffer? Yeah the old smoke and mirrors technique. Your posting the exact same thing I posted only stating that it's your ideas. hahaha! nice.

 

[AFK Protector]

Check out my secret to stop whacking off thread for help with #1!!!

6) Thank ME in a year too.

 

[abcd_z]

...no, wait. If it's impossible to be an alpha male, then why should I even bother? If you can't become an alpha male no matter how hard you try, then what's the point of even coming to this site? Why should I attempt to improve myself if I can never become the sort of person I want to be?

That sounds like a pretty defeatist attitude to take. Besides, if I do choose to take that attitude, I limit myself by what I already believe I can't do. Therefore, I choose to respectfully disagree with the arguements and beliefs in this thread so far.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Originally posted by abcd_z
...no, wait. If it's impossible to be an alpha male, then why should I even bother? If you can't become an alpha male no matter how hard you try, then what's the point of even coming to this site? Why should I attempt to improve myself if I can never become the sort of person I want to be?

That sounds like a pretty defeatist attitude to take. Besides, if I do choose to take that attitude, I limit myself by what I already believe I can't do. Therefore, I choose to respectfully disagree with the arguements and beliefs in this thread so far.

Your purpose is to learn to god I hate to say this "better yourself" to learn to pick up women. It doesn't take being an alpha male to do this.

Anybody can learn how to pick up women.

Just be what you are. If your intelligent don't try being a block head. Or if your a block head don't try using a bunch of big words to impress a woman with your gift of gab and word play.

You want to learn how to incorporate the style of alpha males into your own repretoir of skills for picking up chicks.

ingrain them so they become a part of your natural personality.

but trying to be tough when your not isn't the way. next time your out spot the tough guys and observe their behavior. notice how they have already spotted each other out and there is a pecking order that goes on subconsciously. the badest of the bad is easy to spot. the others step out of his way and nod to him.

I'll bet the author above wasn't even aware of this subtle body language going on within the alpha group. You gotta be one to know about it.

Who is choses, and the main one is determined by the way you use your eye contact and body language. If you can stare through ones defenses of toughness and make him know it then you've topped him.

If his energy makes you nervous and you are tempted to look down or away then you got topped.

It's not a staring contest cause that's gay. It happens within seconds. A breif transfer of energy.

 

[sharpshooter]

I think everyone is born with a certain amount of alphaness. However, it takes practice, will power, patience, and experience to get it out. Some people might have it, but they don't know how to control it or they aren't fully aware. Some people have very little, but they maximize it to it's full potential.

You can't just come out and say you're either born with it or not, in my opinion everyone is born with some of it to a degree.

 

[Jvesti]

Also keep in mind people that gene's can actually be switched on like a light switch. They've proved this with things such as lactose intolerance and a few other genetic factors. that respond to nurture.

BUT some people just don't have this ability to switch on and will always be lactose intolerant regardless or possess things regardless.

All I know is as a child in some circles I was the leader and at certain times I was the lowest of the low probably because of my lack of social grace. Although, I never could work in an environment with someone else's structure. And I always could dominate any person that challenged me in a fight.

At about age 19 something snapped inside me. It just *clicked* this insatiably aggressive drive. I want to lead everything, be in control, do things people are afraid of.

anyways, just something to consider.

 

[malestrom]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Hmmmm I guess you didn't really read the thread. Cause that is what I surmised.

Player, thanks for your reply.

My comments about your thread were based on what I saw as flawed logic - it's nothing personal.

We are in agreement on a great many things. Namely how to tell if you AREN'T an alphamale and also the fact that you can't be something you aren't. My comments, however, were more directed towards the portion of your original post about how to determine if you ARE an alpha:

-doing things without permission
-hate being told what to do
-anger and resentment towards our modern worker-bee society
-meeting resistance whereever you go
-not being the life of the party
-making people uncomfortable around you
-not wanting to wear a seatbelt
-getting hit when you were a kid

that describes me right down to the last detail. In fact, as a child, I was labeled with "ODD" (oppsitional defiant disorder). I hate being told what to do, and I will purposely not wear my seatbelt for reasons I don't fully understand myself. Additionally, I've been told I 'scare' people, look angry/dangerous and am intimidating. My conservative-and-do-everything-by-the-numbers-and-be-part-of-the-group friends rarely go out with me because, as you said, I'm 'the wild card' and they can't box me into a nice little corner where I make them feel comfortable. When I walk down the street, people get out of my way - not vice versa. People rarely look at me in the eye and, if they do, I often get uncomfortable because I can sense how intimdated they are. I also, generaly, rise to the top of any situation I'm in whether it be at work, school, etc. Furthermore, I attract girls that enjoy being somewhat manhandled in the bedroom - even being 'owned' sexually. In fact, my last girlfriend would get highly turned on when I made her tell me "who owns her pvssy" and doing things like pinning her down during sex.

HOWEVER, with all that being said, I also know I'm NOT an alpha male. I know one when I see one, and I'm not him - unless my perception of self is really skewed. I also know many guys who don't get along well with others, hate the worker-bee lifestyle and don't fit in very well into the general public. And they, most certainly, are not alpha males. On the contrary, many of them are bi-polar sociopaths, have ADHD, are 24 year old virgins or otherwise seen as anything BUT 'alpha' in even the most basic social contexts. Strangely, I enjoy their company more than any other, but I suspect it has more to do with intelligence than anything else.

Anyway, the reason I'm saying all this is because I think a great many guys look at themselves and see socially awkward, angry, aggressive personality traits; were beat by mommy and generally resist any attempt to be pinned down by society - and after reading your post, might walk away thinking "I'm an ALPHA!!"....but I beg to differ. Almost all alphas I know are well-adjusted socially and have very few of the personality traits you desribe. In fact, for many of them, their charisma comes from the fact that they AREN'T confrontational, angry or carrying around baggage that results from a disempowered upbringing. People are drawn to them like moths to a flame because they exude a kind of friendly demeanor and just being around them makes you feel special and happy. There's no sense of being 'dominated' or 'submitting'...they just naturally make people want to be around them/work for them/do what they say.



Lastly, you seem to be under the impression I'm some former nemesis who's coming back to do battle with you again. Surely, you've had some serious flame wars on this forum - but I assure you I'm not some old poster coming back for another round.

No hard feelings of course - just discussing the 'alphamale' aspect of all this donjuan material. We agree on some things, and not on others.

Again, thanks for your comments.

See you around...

 

[squirrels]

He's right about one thing...if you HAVE to ask if you're an alpha-male and you're trying to convince people you're an alpha-male, then you're NOT one.

But you CAN become one. Maelstrom re-hashes the same psycho-babble that applies to everything...everything in your attitudes/behaviors is part genetics and part environment. But although your "Formative" years are very important, they arent' the only years that matter. Beta-male attitude can be undone.

But here's a hint for you. The alpha-male doesn't worry about appearing alpha, he just is. He follows his own attitudes and isn't afraid to reveal these to other people. He doesn't worry about whether they adopt the SAME attitudes, he doesn't spend time trying to impress other males and he CERTAINLY doesn't try to promote his own status above others.

You can't become alpha by winning the approval of other alphas. THat's the ass-kissing beta-male corporate society we live in today. If you want to be alpha, you have to not care about being alpha.

 

[Amog]

Originally posted by Player_Supreme
Alpha is part genetics and part upbringing. You can't 'become alpha' any more than you can change your natural eye color. Either you have it on a genetic and enviromental level - or you don't.

You are either born with it or you not as I also said in my post.

True in the fact that it is in your genetics.

Wrong that you can not become alpha. All it is, is social dynamics. Learn them, practice them, become them. You can become alpha.

 

[showtime17]

I agree that being alpha has a lot to do with your genetics, however sometimes even if you were born with the alpha gene, bad luck can make you not act like it. Being truly alpha and not a wanna be alpha has a lot to do with confidence. Sometimes when you have bad luck you can lose that confidence and that can reflect on how you view the world and behave. However when you're lucky and things seem to always work out, you will become more confident and act like it too.

 

[tactic]

Why not LEARN to be an alpha?


I'm afraid I just read the last post and part of the first post so don't flame about this please. What I mean by why we should learn is that we can go up to a real alpha male and ask them what they do in their lives and if they notice that they are being alpha males. Though your physical features might not be alpha, you can still learn to be one without BEING one.

 

[malestrom]

Hmmm

Okay,

Give us a first hand, personal account of how you went from non-alpha (beta/afc/etc)....to being a TRUE alpha. Tell us your experiance and how you KNOW you're an alpha and aren't just convincing yourself of this through sheer willpower/denial/wishful thinking.

 

[playa]

sounds like ******** to me

All this Alpha krap is in your heads. This is just another imaginary power structure people have invented to make themselves feel "safe" in the big scary world. Stop thinking so hard you guys sound like women. How can a guy be dominant in all situations? He can't. It's all in your heads guys, but whatever you have to do to convince yourself of your superiority is fine by me.

 

[pharoh]

Damn malestrom, you made some very good points. Nice work. So, what makes you say that your not alpha when you seem to possess almost all of the traits? I was quite shocked when you said that. And then you said you can see based on using only your perception of someone's demeanor and body language whether he is ALPHA or NOT? Could you explain that a little more.

I just don't understand it when you and playa supreme talk about how people are born ALPHA or NOT. I mean, there is no gene for this ALPHANESS, or is there?

 

[playa]

Re: sounds like ******** to me

Originally posted by playa
All this Alpha krap is in your heads. This is just another imaginary power structure people have invented to make themselves feel "safe" in the big scary world. Stop thinking so hard you guys sound like women. How can a guy be dominant in all situations? He can't. It's all in your heads guys, but whatever you have to do to convince yourself of your superiority is fine by me.

Once again fellas: "Alphaness" is pretend or "make-believe", your own superiority/inferiority is in your and others heads. The way you act and percieve yourself directly affects how you are treated by others.

Get off the "Alpha" myth, the Matrix has all of you.

 

[Player_Supreme]

-doing things without permission
-hate being told what to do
-anger and resentment towards our modern worker-bee society
-meeting resistance whereever you go
-not being the life of the party
-making people uncomfortable around you
-not wanting to wear a seatbelt
-getting hit when you were a kid

You took my words and twisted them. That's very funny. You even said getting hit as a kid huh. You really didn't read that post very well did you.

1. You really should of read my post instead of looked for points to argue on.
2. twisting my words...that is something I can't even comment on...but if that's how you debate cool. Not my flavor. You win.


that describes me right down to the last detail. In fact, as a child, I was labeled with "ODD" (oppsitional defiant disorder). I hate being told what to do,

ODD? another new disorder huh. What will they think of next. Amazing! I'm sorry I don't have time to read your post I skimmed to this point and had to stop

1. I have no idea what you said in the rest of your post but ODD...Society is really cracking up and giving it funny names.

2. Good luck in your search for the alpha male.

 

[tactic]

Shall we make a good discussion about genes and alpha males? My last thread died so let's continue here. Is there an alpha gene? No, but we all have different genes. It's all about heredity.

 

[playa]

Originally posted by tactic
Shall we make a good discussion about genes and alpha males? My last thread died so let's continue here. Is there an alpha gene? No, but we all have different genes. It's all about heredity.

Yeah, and there's a "Rock Star" gene, a "President" gene....

What are you a damn fool?