Something every noob suffers from is the "thats not me" syndrome. It is an obstacle that for most of us can go undetected, but after some deep thinking, we will realize that is probably the biggest obstacle and the most difficult to overcome. This syndrome is most clear on newbies. If you tell a newb to go around the room and if he gives everyone a high 5 its guaranteed that he will be seen as the cool guy and the girls will like him. He will simply say "Nah thats not me, I dont like being the center of attention".In his case its very easy to recognize the problem. But for those that are a little more experienced, it may not be so obvious. So how do you know if you
suffer from this syndrome?
Well,
Do you stop yourself from approaching certain types of people, not because they're unfriendly, but because you usually feel uncomfortable around them ie. HB9's, cool guys, popular people?
Do you find yourself avoiding to be the leader in a group of cool people?
Do you feel something stopping you from escalating fast with a girl?
Do you avoid being the life of the party, even when you're liked by the room?
Do you avoid sarging in places where you've never picked up a girl before (store, the park, etc)?
Have you ever caught yourself subconsciously avoiding to take on a social role you've never had before?
Answer yes to any of these and you have the syndrome.
Notice that you probably were not aware of these behaviors until now. Most of the time its like a force "beyond you" that stops you from doing the things that you know will benefit your game. The reason for this is because your behaviors are mostly guided by your unconscious mind, aka your ego. The ego tells you who
you are based on your accomplishments, experiences, relationships, posessions, knowledge, social status, etc. In other words, your ego tells you who you are based on concepts from your past. From these concepts you form your opinions and judgements about yourself, and about every thing, person, and event that you encounter throughout your life. So for ex. if you're a student with a part time job, a good family, and only have a few friends, you view life differently and have different opinions than a highschool drop out living off his rich parents, who has a nice car, and is very popular.
You act according to how your ego says you should act.
Lets be real, if you had the choice of either going to a club on your own and being the center of attention there (which will give you a GREAT chance of getting laid), or hanging with your circle of friends and being their center of attention (which has almost nopossibility of getting you laid), you would chose the latter. This is because its not YOU to be the life of a club full of strangers. One example that I see more often, including myself at one point, was choosing the less hotter girls, because it wasn't me to get get hot girls, and getting uglier girls was closer to my reality. This is also why if I opened a HB9 and it went well, I would eject quickly, but if she was a 6 or 7, I would escalate until soemthing happened. It took me sometime to realize the pattern,
and why I was doing it.
You ARE according to who your ego tells you you ARE (reread this sentence if it doesnt make sense).
Why are people who take themselves too seriously so predictable? because taking yourself too seriously literally means taking your ego too seriously (you know those people that always say "Thats not me, I dont do stuff like that" how boring and predictable are they?). It means sticking only to what your ego tells you.
So now that we've established that your ego that tells you who are and how to act, we can assume that who you are and the actions you take ares based on PAST CONCEPTS (experiences, relationships, ideas, etc). Unfortunetly for everyone here, our past, as related to women, has not been the best. Your past is an AFC past. And you will NEVER GET BETTER BY BEING A "YOU" THAT IS BASED ON an AFC PAST.
Once you recognize that this is the part of yourself that is holding you back from getting to the next level of your game, it is much easier to adress it. Now you can simply go out there and when you find yourself avoiding those behaviors that can benefit you, simply recognize thats this avoidance mentallity is coming from your AFC past. You can simply say to yourself "I'm going to be NOT ME" which is just like saying, "Im going to be a NOT AFC".
suffer from this syndrome?
Well,
Do you stop yourself from approaching certain types of people, not because they're unfriendly, but because you usually feel uncomfortable around them ie. HB9's, cool guys, popular people?
Do you find yourself avoiding to be the leader in a group of cool people?
Do you feel something stopping you from escalating fast with a girl?
Do you avoid being the life of the party, even when you're liked by the room?
Do you avoid sarging in places where you've never picked up a girl before (store, the park, etc)?
Have you ever caught yourself subconsciously avoiding to take on a social role you've never had before?
Answer yes to any of these and you have the syndrome.
Notice that you probably were not aware of these behaviors until now. Most of the time its like a force "beyond you" that stops you from doing the things that you know will benefit your game. The reason for this is because your behaviors are mostly guided by your unconscious mind, aka your ego. The ego tells you who
you are based on your accomplishments, experiences, relationships, posessions, knowledge, social status, etc. In other words, your ego tells you who you are based on concepts from your past. From these concepts you form your opinions and judgements about yourself, and about every thing, person, and event that you encounter throughout your life. So for ex. if you're a student with a part time job, a good family, and only have a few friends, you view life differently and have different opinions than a highschool drop out living off his rich parents, who has a nice car, and is very popular.
You act according to how your ego says you should act.
Lets be real, if you had the choice of either going to a club on your own and being the center of attention there (which will give you a GREAT chance of getting laid), or hanging with your circle of friends and being their center of attention (which has almost nopossibility of getting you laid), you would chose the latter. This is because its not YOU to be the life of a club full of strangers. One example that I see more often, including myself at one point, was choosing the less hotter girls, because it wasn't me to get get hot girls, and getting uglier girls was closer to my reality. This is also why if I opened a HB9 and it went well, I would eject quickly, but if she was a 6 or 7, I would escalate until soemthing happened. It took me sometime to realize the pattern,
and why I was doing it.
You ARE according to who your ego tells you you ARE (reread this sentence if it doesnt make sense).
Why are people who take themselves too seriously so predictable? because taking yourself too seriously literally means taking your ego too seriously (you know those people that always say "Thats not me, I dont do stuff like that" how boring and predictable are they?). It means sticking only to what your ego tells you.
So now that we've established that your ego that tells you who are and how to act, we can assume that who you are and the actions you take ares based on PAST CONCEPTS (experiences, relationships, ideas, etc). Unfortunetly for everyone here, our past, as related to women, has not been the best. Your past is an AFC past. And you will NEVER GET BETTER BY BEING A "YOU" THAT IS BASED ON an AFC PAST.
Once you recognize that this is the part of yourself that is holding you back from getting to the next level of your game, it is much easier to adress it. Now you can simply go out there and when you find yourself avoiding those behaviors that can benefit you, simply recognize thats this avoidance mentallity is coming from your AFC past. You can simply say to yourself "I'm going to be NOT ME" which is just like saying, "Im going to be a NOT AFC".