The Ten Reasons Why Highly Intelligent Men Fail With Women

[theSpeculator]

The Ten Reasons Why Highly Intelligent Men Fail With Women

By David DeAngelo
(reedited by theSpeculator)

1.) They can't see or admit they are wrong when they are wrong.

Highly intelligent guys are used to being right most of the time. But what happens when they come across a situation where they're wrong? They usually run away. They find new situations where they know they can excel. They find new situations that they know they'll be right next time. So, they just walk away thinking that it won't be long before they are "right?" again.

However, when it comes to women and dating, there's nowhere to run and hide. There are no quick "I'm right solutions" for them to find. And it may take failing with a few women in a row for an intelligent guy to beging seeing a pattern (that he doesn't know anything about women and dating) and realizes what he is doing is not working.

What is his solutions? To think harder.

An intelligent guy will assumes that his logic must be good, so he just need to think harder. His logic is that he is smart enough to learn everything he needs to know about women and dating by just thinking. Which is the wrong approach to take. He doesn't realize that what he is really doing is overanalyzing the subject.

Accepting he is wrong is a very hard thing for an intelligent guy. Accepting that not only is he wrong, but have no clue where to even start is even more difficult. Eventually, many intelligent guys will give up and come up with the following (logical?) conclusion: "I am a smart guy, therefore if I can't figure out how to be successful with women and dating then it is impossible."

2.) They are blind and arrogant.

Many intelligent guys are very proud of their intelligence; and as a result, have extremely huge egos. It is because of their huge egos that many intelligent guys refuse to accept that a good, workable solution can come from someone that is "dumber" than them. They are unwilling to accept input, ideas, or instruction from anyone less intelligent than them. They immediately discount any idea from an "obviouly less intelligent person" before even trying it.

Ask yourself this question: If you were walking across the Safari in Africa on foot, who would you want as your guide? Would you choose a nuclear engineer with the highest I.Q. in the world, but have no experience surviving in the jungle or would you choose someone that lives in the Safari and knows the land very well, but have a considerably much lower I.Q.?

Hopefully, you would have choosen the latter. The nuclear engineer may know everything there is to know about nuclear reactors, but that does not guaranteed he knows anything about surviving in the Safari.

The same is true with women and dating. You have to understand that just because a guy does not know anything about nuclear engineering, does not mean he wouldn't know anything about women. If you want to learn how to be more successful with women and dating, you are better off taking advice from a guy who may not be intelligent, but knows how to attract women.

3.) They have poor social skills.

You may have notice that most of the highly intelligent guys you know also lack some basic social skills. Good social skills is important for effective communcations with other people, including women. If you don't have good social skills, then you dramatically lower your chances for success with women.

There may be reasons why they do not have any social skills, but that will not be discussed here. Social skills are just what it sound like--just skills that you learn. You cannot learn them by just thinking. You only learn them by practicing. You develop them through interactions with other people.

4.) They psych themselves out.

Some intelligent guys have very low self-esteem; which may be the cause of thier poor social skills. It is because of thier low self-esteem that they will try to create various reasons why something won't work when it comes to women and dating. They will try to reason why the things they would like to do will fail.

They will imagine all kind of scenario where they see themselves failing. Which then leads to negative emotions and reinforcement of their poor self-image as a "failure with women and dating." This is enough for them to justify not even trying.

What you need to understand is that all of this is inside your head. If you keep thinking of reasons why things won't work in your life, then it eventually leads to ultimate failure. You must learn to overcome this handicap before you can start being sucessful with women and dating.

5.) They seek only "informational solutions."

When an intelligent guy come across a problem, his instinct tells him to look for more information to help solve the problem. It sounds logical that more information is always the answer. So what do intelligent guys do when it comes to overcoming a problem with women? They want more information.

They think the answer lies in learning more theories, more concepts, or more techniques. But what if there was a situation in life where this strategy (getting more information) actually made things worse? How would you even know if it was making things worst? I am not suggesting tht learning more about how to be successful with women is a bad thing. But if the problem is emotional or physical in nature, then reading hundreds of theories on it will not help.

To solve a problem, you need to look at the real problem and go directly to the source of the problem. You need to go into the real word and experiment. Most of the time, when it comes to women and dating, there is a very good chance that you have more than enough "information." Intelligent guys often use "more information" as an excuse to avoid taking action.

(To be continue)

Original Article:
http://www.sosuave.com/romance/david/art61.htm

Please go back to the top and do the poll.

 

[theSpeculator]

There are many good posters here with good ideas, but terrible writting skills. I feel that their poor writing is what keeps their posts from being heard by many people.

Take Adonis for example, he has some good point and ideas, but his posts lacked clarity, structure, and persuasiveness. Now his posts are lost to the masses. Pook is an example of an average poster but with great writing skills and persuasiveness. Now he is "revered" by many AFC here despite the lack of quality in his posts beside the stylized fancy writng.

That is why the new Testaments will also focus on re-editing or rewriting poorly written post into good documents for clarity. Expect more in the future.

P.S. After doing this, I have come to realize that David DeAngelo needs to go back to college and retake English Composition 101. ;-)

 

[belividere]

This should really be titled the top ten reasons why men who think they are highly intelligent fail with women. It seems that David DeAngelo hasn't meet any true highly intelligent beings.

 

[theSpeculator]

belividere,

I agree. After reading that newsletter carefully, I realized that it was dumb and simple. I don't think David DeAngelo is very intelligent. I remember he wrote that he has read a 1000 books on women and dating. But I think that an average person can read a 1000 mediocre/bad books and still be average, but knowledgeable (however could still be wrong if he the wrong books).

Intelligence and knowledeable are two different things. A lot of people seems to confuse these two as the same.

--------------------
After one week there is only a total of 7 people that took the poll. With a little more than half favorable of the re-edited version.

I am dissappointed that many who viewed this post did not even bother to vote. This tells me that most of the lurkers here are either: very lazy, don't care, or have no opinion. Meaning most of the lurkers here will stay AFC until they change their way to thinking.

 

[Virtú]

IMO, the logical, analytical way these men think and live is a symptom as much as a problem in and of itself - a self-perpetuating rut.

Think of it in terms of the "ivory tower" - these men are so insulated from life by their knowledge and/or intellect that life is robbed of much of its visceral appeal. For them, life is perceived and reacted to by the intellect, the conscious, rational brain.

From what I've read, this is not a favorable situation. The consensus seems to be that the successful man is fueled, but not led by, his heart, guts, and loins. Knowledge and intelligence often cut man off from these sources of fuel.

The mentally healthy man is touched by life, affected by it, even though he is strong enough not to act upon this.
For the intelligent and/or knowledgable man, external stimuli don't penetrate that deeply.

These intelligent and/or knowledgeable men simply can't relate to life on the emotional and physical levels the way other men can.
For them, life is an abstraction, an intellectual exercise, a series of simulations conducted in the controlled environment of their brains.

It seems to me that, for the successful man, knowledge and intellect are tools, a means to the ends that his heart and balls give him.
For the men that DeAngelo is referring to, they are his very being. Such a man is not aware of any other part of himself.

The reason why most intelligent/knowledgeable men fail with women has to do with who they are ... of which how they think and what they do are merely reflections.


theSpeculator: What else did you expect from lurkers?

 

[DJHoolahoop]

Or else the intelligent guy will trap himself within this world of self-doubt as a way to keep himself intellectually stimulated as a means to always have something to work on and think about. I mean, do these intelligent guys REALLY think it's that impossible to get women? Do they REALLY think they have NOTHING to gain from asking? Do they REALLY think it can't happen to them? What if they really DO deep down know that they can get all of it and easily too if they just asked the way they know how to?

But the fact that this aspect of their life keeps their brains working hard to "figure it all out" they stay in it.

So what does that mean? That simply, they put themselves in that world because they like the challenge of figuring things out, trying new things and testing their brains. Maybe that's why they are stuck in it, because it gives them the intellectual stimulation they need to keep their minds satisfied. What if they knew that there'd be no conclusions, no basis to figure things out, nothing intellectually stimulating by going out there and doing these things. Kind of a case of, if I just went out there and solved this.. what would I be able to do with myself afterwards?

or maybe this is all here-say and complete gibberish.. if that's the case, glad i could provide some entertainment for you guys

 

[Best friends? NAY]

theSpeculator, Just to let ya know, he said he has read many books on women and dating and found all them of basically worthless.

I'm not defeanding his stuff, just trying to set the record straight.

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

What data is there to prove that intelligent men fail with women more often than non-intelligent men?

 

[Mix]

P.S. After doing this, I have come to realize that David DeAngelo needs to go back to college and retake English Composition 101. ;-)

David D. is very long-winded in his writing. This comes from him using a conversational tone which mimics a "transcribed lecture." Overall, I don't think his organization of ideas is too bad, though.

The main advantage of his writing style is that his newsletters are VERY easy to speed-read or skim. So it is tough to decide which edited version is better. Reading the "original" is like reading a page with lots of bulleted points. The re-edited version was more concise yet slightly tougher to absorb. I can read through the "original" about twice as fast while still getting the same information out of it.

In the end, I chose the re-edited one because, personally, I like my information condensed--but it wasn't a clear-cut, hands-down decision.

I hope this is at least slightly more helpful for you than my vote in the poll.