Hey guys.
The swimming pool I'll be talking about is not a real one, it's a metaphor for all those things in life that provoke anxiety, be it conversing with strangers (if you're very shy) or approaching women. The longer we leave it, the more it feels like we're standing at the edge, looking down into the water.
Eventually, you're standing there for so long you freeze, you NEVER want to jump in. You end up being the loner at the party, sitting around, not talking with anyone, or the guy hovering around the girls, too shi+ scared to say "hi" to them. These are situations I recognize too well.
Many people post here asking how they can kill that anxiety. When I was young, just starting my road of self improvement, I began to get frustrated at myself. I tried everything I could to kill it, looking for a "magic pill" to make me calm and cool enough to approach!
There was a word that changed it all. It seems strange to thank a word but here I am. That word was JUMP.
There I was, standing at the edge of the pool. I felt like a kid again, everyone else was playing in the water but I was waiting. In the real world I was sitting with my friends looking at her from a distance, this beautiful woman who, back then, was way out of my league (yes..that is what I would tell myself).
JUMP
It was at a gathering being held by a friend of mine. I'm sure you've seen it at parties, most people tend to circle around the people they know. I was with all the people I was comfortable with. The strangers were just that, strangers, not "potentially new friends", just strangers who might not like me.
But then..both of our eyes caught each other, mine and this girl. The child near the edge of the pool slipped a little but regained his balance.
JUMP
And again! That jolt you get when both of your eyes are locked for what feels like an eternal few seconds. My friends voices faded and I could feel my heart beat. I got up to go talk to her. The nearer I got the more the kid in my head was wobbling and as I opened my mouth to speak...he jumped in.
This was me four years ago. Fat, not very well groomed, not very talkative either, naturally I crashed and burned. The child who jumped into the pool was flailing around, just like I was in the real world. Damn lol
But I think this flailing around, these "birth pains" that come with improving yourself are good things. It is you, as a person, forcing yourself to adapt to new situations, and the more you do it the more competent you become.
Stop kidding yourself that you will wake up one day and just smoothly stroll over to the nearest hot honey and have her begging for you to be inside her. It doesn't work like that. The best advice I can give to you if you are just starting to approach women is to jump in and let yourself flail. Okay, you're not going to make a great impression the first number of times but I promise you, the more you do it the more you'll adapt and learn.
Your flailing arms will start to keep you afloat in the swimming pool
Zonzay
The swimming pool I'll be talking about is not a real one, it's a metaphor for all those things in life that provoke anxiety, be it conversing with strangers (if you're very shy) or approaching women. The longer we leave it, the more it feels like we're standing at the edge, looking down into the water.
Eventually, you're standing there for so long you freeze, you NEVER want to jump in. You end up being the loner at the party, sitting around, not talking with anyone, or the guy hovering around the girls, too shi+ scared to say "hi" to them. These are situations I recognize too well.
Many people post here asking how they can kill that anxiety. When I was young, just starting my road of self improvement, I began to get frustrated at myself. I tried everything I could to kill it, looking for a "magic pill" to make me calm and cool enough to approach!
There was a word that changed it all. It seems strange to thank a word but here I am. That word was JUMP.
There I was, standing at the edge of the pool. I felt like a kid again, everyone else was playing in the water but I was waiting. In the real world I was sitting with my friends looking at her from a distance, this beautiful woman who, back then, was way out of my league (yes..that is what I would tell myself).
JUMP
It was at a gathering being held by a friend of mine. I'm sure you've seen it at parties, most people tend to circle around the people they know. I was with all the people I was comfortable with. The strangers were just that, strangers, not "potentially new friends", just strangers who might not like me.
But then..both of our eyes caught each other, mine and this girl. The child near the edge of the pool slipped a little but regained his balance.
JUMP
And again! That jolt you get when both of your eyes are locked for what feels like an eternal few seconds. My friends voices faded and I could feel my heart beat. I got up to go talk to her. The nearer I got the more the kid in my head was wobbling and as I opened my mouth to speak...he jumped in.
This was me four years ago. Fat, not very well groomed, not very talkative either, naturally I crashed and burned. The child who jumped into the pool was flailing around, just like I was in the real world. Damn lol
But I think this flailing around, these "birth pains" that come with improving yourself are good things. It is you, as a person, forcing yourself to adapt to new situations, and the more you do it the more competent you become.
Stop kidding yourself that you will wake up one day and just smoothly stroll over to the nearest hot honey and have her begging for you to be inside her. It doesn't work like that. The best advice I can give to you if you are just starting to approach women is to jump in and let yourself flail. Okay, you're not going to make a great impression the first number of times but I promise you, the more you do it the more you'll adapt and learn.
Your flailing arms will start to keep you afloat in the swimming pool
Zonzay