Thundercat
Don Juan
A good friend of mine, MasterClass, who probably has one of the best understandings of human nature I've ever seen, once told me something very profound._ He said:
"People tend to fall back on emotions that are comfortable, even if those emotions are bad ones."
See, we're all trained from an early age to think and feel a certain way._ Part of it has to do with our parents, part of it has to do with our interactions with others._ But all of it helps shape how we view the world._ It's like that old metaphor about how two people can look at a glass of liquid, and one sees it as half empty, the other sees it as half full._ Same glass, different viewpoints.
One thing I've noticed about most of the guys who study the art of seduction, is that the way they've been trained to view life is skewed in a rather unhealthy way._ A great deal, not all, but a great deal of them all have what can only be defined as "Deservedness Issues."
They know they're unhappy with their lives._ They know what will make them happy._ They might even know how to go about getting what will make them happy._ But when it comes time to get the object of their happiness, they don't feel they DESERVE to be happy, and throw it away.
Some people call it "self sabotage," like the guys who do this are afraid of success._ But I don't believe that's the case.
I believe these guys are just doing what they've trained themselves to do._ Some of us get so comfortable feeling bad, feeling like a victim, feeling helpless and insecure, that when the opportunity comes to push those feelings aside, even though we don't enjoy experiencing them, we embrace them because we're comfortable with the sensation as opposed to feeling something new (and therefore scary), even though it's what we really want.
People always fall to the level of their training, without fail.
The trick is, you have to re-train yourself to be ready for success, and be ready to experience the feelings you don't think you deserve.
I don't know about you, but I've always had a burning desire to succeed._ Be it in business, love, games, whatever -- I want to be the best at it.
In order to achieve success, you need to train yourself for success._ And sometimes that means unlearning what you have learned in the past._ This is probably the most difficult thing anyone can do, after all, you've spent YEARS re-enforcing this behavior as the "right" way to do things.
The first goal in retraining yourself for success is knowing what you want.
If you don't know what you want, you will never figure out how to get it._ So knowing your goals is paramount to achieving them._ So the first thing you want to do when retraining yourself is to WRITE DOWN what you want, and be as specific about it as possible._ For instance, let's say this is your list:
1._ Get a long-term girlfriend who's got long red hair, double-d breasts, is six feet tall, with green eyes, who likes to salsa dance, watch movies, and is financially independent.
2._ Lose ten pounds of fat, gain ten pounds of muscle.
3._ Buy a whole new wardrobe so I can look my best both professionally and socially.
4._ Get a promotion at work so I can make more money and buy the kind of stuff I want.
5._ Learn about the stock market so I can invest my money to make more money.
Okay, so that's your list._ Five specific goals that you want to achieve._ The next is to set a time limit within which to achieve these goals._ It's important to be realistic about your time limit, but it's also important that once you set it, you stick with it._ So for goal number one, let's say you give yourself a year to achieve it._ For goal two, let's say two months, for three, let's say one month, for four, two years, and for five, let's say six months.
Once you set your time limits, now comes the hard part, and that's making everything in your life revolve around achieving these goals.
If you have friends that hold you back, distance yourself from them._ If you have circumstances in your life that hinder you from achieving this, find a way to get rid of them._ Do whatever you have to do to achieve these goals, and make sure nothing gets in the way._ You should have tunnel vision when it comes to getting what you want._ Nothing else exists._ And if you're not doing something that's working to get you closer to what you want, you're doing something wrong.
Set up mini-goals to help you reach the larger ones._ Break down your pursuit so you constantly feel you are achieving something, rather than languishing in a funk and feeling like your ultimate goal is too far away._ Say to yourself:_ "Before I buy a whole new wardrobe, I'm going to read every men's fashion magazine and see what I like."_ Then, say "After that, I'm going to figure out what stores I'm going to shop at."_ Then say "Next, I'll go to the stores and try on all the clothes to see how I look."_ Finally, say "After I figure out what I want, I'm going to search for the best price I can find before I buy it."_ It's a step process, and by breaking your goals down to steps, you'll feel you're accomplishing getting closer to your ultimate goal.
Reward yourself with each mini-success._ This is really important, otherwise you'll overwork yourself._ Some of this "goal getting" can be really tedious._ But motivation is key to success, and a great way to stay motivated is to reward yourself after you achieve your mini-goals._ For instance, let's say you love going to strip clubs, but you hate going to bars to meet regular women._ So let's say you set a mini-goal to talk to four new women a night for an entire week, and you set the reward that if you do that, at the end of the week, you'll go to a strip club and have a good time._ This way, you motivate yourself to meet 28 new women before taking that one stripper into the back room._ Every time you don't feel like meeting a girl, you can think about how much fun you'll have at that strip club if you do it._ Rewards are key to continuing your journey.
But what happens when obstacles pop up?_ Most guys can get distracted on their way to achieving what they want by these obstacles, or they just give up._ But it's important to stay focused._ Look at your list daily._ Figure out what you need to do to make these things happen for you._ Be active in your pursuit.
Every time your old feelings pop up, feelings of failure, sadness, depression, or deservedness, battle them with anger.
Anger is a gift._ It's a motivational emotion._ Anger makes us ACT.
Every time things look hopeless, get ANGRY and barrel through your roadblock or distraction or obstacle._ Anger can help you maintain focus when you need it the most._ Say to yourself "**** you!_ I'm doing this no matter what and you can't stop me!"_ Shout it into the mirror if you have to, but stay angry as long as it takes to get past what your old training is telling you.
And don't be angry at yourself._ NEVER be angry at yourself._ Focus your anger on the obstacle or distraction that's facing you._ That's healthy anger._ Anger focused at yourself is UNHEALTHY.
Keep up this cycle of tunnel vision, active pursuit, and anger in the face of obstacles until you achieve your goals._ And once your goals are achieved, and you experience those feelings you didn't feel you deserved in the past, they become normal._ You lose your fear about experiencing them._ And when that happens, you feel you're entitled to them.
And that's the best feeling in the world.
Thundercat
"People tend to fall back on emotions that are comfortable, even if those emotions are bad ones."
See, we're all trained from an early age to think and feel a certain way._ Part of it has to do with our parents, part of it has to do with our interactions with others._ But all of it helps shape how we view the world._ It's like that old metaphor about how two people can look at a glass of liquid, and one sees it as half empty, the other sees it as half full._ Same glass, different viewpoints.
One thing I've noticed about most of the guys who study the art of seduction, is that the way they've been trained to view life is skewed in a rather unhealthy way._ A great deal, not all, but a great deal of them all have what can only be defined as "Deservedness Issues."
They know they're unhappy with their lives._ They know what will make them happy._ They might even know how to go about getting what will make them happy._ But when it comes time to get the object of their happiness, they don't feel they DESERVE to be happy, and throw it away.
Some people call it "self sabotage," like the guys who do this are afraid of success._ But I don't believe that's the case.
I believe these guys are just doing what they've trained themselves to do._ Some of us get so comfortable feeling bad, feeling like a victim, feeling helpless and insecure, that when the opportunity comes to push those feelings aside, even though we don't enjoy experiencing them, we embrace them because we're comfortable with the sensation as opposed to feeling something new (and therefore scary), even though it's what we really want.
People always fall to the level of their training, without fail.
The trick is, you have to re-train yourself to be ready for success, and be ready to experience the feelings you don't think you deserve.
I don't know about you, but I've always had a burning desire to succeed._ Be it in business, love, games, whatever -- I want to be the best at it.
In order to achieve success, you need to train yourself for success._ And sometimes that means unlearning what you have learned in the past._ This is probably the most difficult thing anyone can do, after all, you've spent YEARS re-enforcing this behavior as the "right" way to do things.
The first goal in retraining yourself for success is knowing what you want.
If you don't know what you want, you will never figure out how to get it._ So knowing your goals is paramount to achieving them._ So the first thing you want to do when retraining yourself is to WRITE DOWN what you want, and be as specific about it as possible._ For instance, let's say this is your list:
1._ Get a long-term girlfriend who's got long red hair, double-d breasts, is six feet tall, with green eyes, who likes to salsa dance, watch movies, and is financially independent.
2._ Lose ten pounds of fat, gain ten pounds of muscle.
3._ Buy a whole new wardrobe so I can look my best both professionally and socially.
4._ Get a promotion at work so I can make more money and buy the kind of stuff I want.
5._ Learn about the stock market so I can invest my money to make more money.
Okay, so that's your list._ Five specific goals that you want to achieve._ The next is to set a time limit within which to achieve these goals._ It's important to be realistic about your time limit, but it's also important that once you set it, you stick with it._ So for goal number one, let's say you give yourself a year to achieve it._ For goal two, let's say two months, for three, let's say one month, for four, two years, and for five, let's say six months.
Once you set your time limits, now comes the hard part, and that's making everything in your life revolve around achieving these goals.
If you have friends that hold you back, distance yourself from them._ If you have circumstances in your life that hinder you from achieving this, find a way to get rid of them._ Do whatever you have to do to achieve these goals, and make sure nothing gets in the way._ You should have tunnel vision when it comes to getting what you want._ Nothing else exists._ And if you're not doing something that's working to get you closer to what you want, you're doing something wrong.
Set up mini-goals to help you reach the larger ones._ Break down your pursuit so you constantly feel you are achieving something, rather than languishing in a funk and feeling like your ultimate goal is too far away._ Say to yourself:_ "Before I buy a whole new wardrobe, I'm going to read every men's fashion magazine and see what I like."_ Then, say "After that, I'm going to figure out what stores I'm going to shop at."_ Then say "Next, I'll go to the stores and try on all the clothes to see how I look."_ Finally, say "After I figure out what I want, I'm going to search for the best price I can find before I buy it."_ It's a step process, and by breaking your goals down to steps, you'll feel you're accomplishing getting closer to your ultimate goal.
Reward yourself with each mini-success._ This is really important, otherwise you'll overwork yourself._ Some of this "goal getting" can be really tedious._ But motivation is key to success, and a great way to stay motivated is to reward yourself after you achieve your mini-goals._ For instance, let's say you love going to strip clubs, but you hate going to bars to meet regular women._ So let's say you set a mini-goal to talk to four new women a night for an entire week, and you set the reward that if you do that, at the end of the week, you'll go to a strip club and have a good time._ This way, you motivate yourself to meet 28 new women before taking that one stripper into the back room._ Every time you don't feel like meeting a girl, you can think about how much fun you'll have at that strip club if you do it._ Rewards are key to continuing your journey.
But what happens when obstacles pop up?_ Most guys can get distracted on their way to achieving what they want by these obstacles, or they just give up._ But it's important to stay focused._ Look at your list daily._ Figure out what you need to do to make these things happen for you._ Be active in your pursuit.
Every time your old feelings pop up, feelings of failure, sadness, depression, or deservedness, battle them with anger.
Anger is a gift._ It's a motivational emotion._ Anger makes us ACT.
Every time things look hopeless, get ANGRY and barrel through your roadblock or distraction or obstacle._ Anger can help you maintain focus when you need it the most._ Say to yourself "**** you!_ I'm doing this no matter what and you can't stop me!"_ Shout it into the mirror if you have to, but stay angry as long as it takes to get past what your old training is telling you.
And don't be angry at yourself._ NEVER be angry at yourself._ Focus your anger on the obstacle or distraction that's facing you._ That's healthy anger._ Anger focused at yourself is UNHEALTHY.
Keep up this cycle of tunnel vision, active pursuit, and anger in the face of obstacles until you achieve your goals._ And once your goals are achieved, and you experience those feelings you didn't feel you deserved in the past, they become normal._ You lose your fear about experiencing them._ And when that happens, you feel you're entitled to them.
And that's the best feeling in the world.
Thundercat