The "Savior" Trait Must Be Natural

[Desdinova]

It's so goddam weird. No matter how much I think it's a bad idea, I still have the desire to be a woman's "knight in shining armour". The desire to save her from all the bad 5hit out there is pretty strong. But most of us here know that we cannot be that knight, and it's now labelled as a "nice guy" trait.

I'll tell you what fvcking triggered this. I was out at my favorite hangout, and I ran into a girl I dated from five years ago. First thing she did was give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. What can I say, I'm unforgettable

Anyway, she was there with her on and off again bf. Later in the evening, he saw her blow me a kiss and he fvcking stormed out of there like an angry five year old, leaving her behind. I have no clue if she had cab fare, or how she was gonna get home. She was pretty wasted too.

But I got that desire to offer her a ride home. Although I didn't give her a ride, I still felt kinda bad for not offering. But I really don't need to become that guy who saves her ass and then gets fvck all in return. I initially ditched her when I was out with her, she missed her ex, and tried to call him. At that moment, I went home, so I'm no fvcking better.

But this isn't the first time I've felt this desire. I remember this AW who went to the place I frequented. She got so fvcking drunk she couldn't stand. I couldn't help but worry about her and wonder how the hell she was going to get home. But I didn't help her. I didn't need her puking in my truck, nor to be labelled as a "nice guy".

I believe that the desire to save women is in a man's blood. Unfortunately, the rewards sucks ass, and can even lead you to being taken advantage of.

Your thoughts?

 

[Metro3pilot]

Ok .... people make carreers of helping other people ... social workers, drug counselers, school teachers, medical field, fireman, cops, etc.

I don't think helping people out is a bad thing.

when you put expectations on helping people out, you will sometimes get dissappointed, so if feeling you did the right thing is enough thanks then ..it's all good

I did the firefighter/emt thing and especially enjoyed vehicle extrication, nobody ever said thanks, but still it was a good feeling.

 

[Aenigma]

I've had the same thoughts.

If they're a friend/acqietence, I help them out. I don't really expect anything out of it, I just do it because I hope people would do the same for me if I were in that situation (guy friends have helped me out in the past, don't know if girls would though). I don't need to game every woman.

 

[lookyoung]

I think that deep inside you probably just want to bang them. Would you do this for a guy that you used to know? Or for a girl that was a 400 pound slob?

 

[KarmaSutra]

I think that deep inside you probably just want to bang them. Would you do this for a guy that you used to know? Or for a girl that was a 400 pound slob?

These are perfect questions. Also, I would add that perhaps because you have history with this particular girl you were being overly courteous. There is nothing wrong with this unless you have an expectation FOR taking her home after the baby ditched her.

 

[RedPill]

There's a complete difference between feeling compelled to 'save' a chick in the supplicative sense and feeling a sense of duty to protect her when she needs it.

A savior mentality drives the chump to take supplicative action in the hopes that his concern for her well-being will be reciprocated with desire.

Protecting a woman simply because she's weaker and you have human empathy for her is not supplication, nor is the sense of duty you might feel at times to watch out for the female species in general.

Since women are far more prone to their emotions than we are, as well as physically weaker, they'll tend to walk right into trouble sometimes, like flies attracted to a light.

The line between protection and supplication is drawn at the expectation of reciprocated sexual desire.

 

[Latinoman]

It is a HUGE difference between helping someone (men or female) that really needs help...and helping a FEMALE with EXPECTATIONS of getting her laid.

The drunk woman (described by the original poster) is one that I would have probably helped, especially if I knew her. I have done that in the past with female friends that have gotten to drunk...nothing wrong with helping somebody like that. At the very least would have called a cab for her. But I would have never done that with the expectation of getting laid (that is VERY AFC behavior).

There is a huge difference between doing the right thing and doing things expecting something in return.

 

[Interceptor]

There's a complete difference between feeling compelled to 'save' a chick in the supplicative sense and feeling a sense of duty to protect her when she needs it.
A savior mentality drives the chump to take supplicative action in the hopes that his concern for her well-being will be reciprocated with desire.

Protecting a woman simply because she's weaker and you have human empathy for her is not supplication, nor is the sense of duty you might feel at times to watch out for the female species in general.

Since women are far more prone to their emotions than we are, as well as physically weaker, they'll tend to walk right into trouble sometimes, like flies attracted to a light.

The line between protection and supplication is drawn at the expectation of reciprocated sexual desire.

Excellent post, RedPill.


The "Savior" can only be a truly fulfilled, mature and Masculine man, who does this out of his honorable sense of masculine duty, not NEEDINESS.
We must do this with our Ego empty, but our SELF ESTEEM full.
The Knight archetype is an honorable self image, the Hero mentality is your destiny and you should NEVER be ashamed of it, or feel guilty for 'feeling' it inside.
The hero, as a true masculine man, is part of who you are.
There is nothing wrong with it. The Knight in shining armor is real. Don't deny it, embrace it.

But you must be mature and strong, with tremendous emotional strength to do so.

It is when it comes from neediness and lack of self love is when it is twisted in a males' mind.

Compassion is a virtue.
Selfless in helping others is good, up to a point.As long as you do not violate your own Personal Boundary.

But when you use it to fill a hole inside yourself, is when you have problems and you've made it into something self serving and twisted.
You must have reservoir of self esteem to be truly, honestly compassionate.
In a purely karmic and spiritual sense, be aware that your endeavor to truly, genuinely help others WILL 'fix' you, it will empower you, and you will reap spiritual rewards from it. Make no mistake. Helping others does improve things in your mind, body, and soul.


IF this feeliing comes from neediness, your NEED to be SAVED and 'loved' (since you feel you cannot seem to do it for your SELF) THAT is when you will have the problems associated with the sav a ho circumstance, and the sad fate it will bring with it.

A STRONG, honorable, mature, and fulfilled man IS a Hero. A needy man is a misguided and miserable opportunist.
You need NEVER to resort to that behavior or mentality.
You never do. You are not and never will be forced to.
You must make a decsion eventually as strong, mature Masculine men and ask yourself if what you are doing is Filling your EGO, or FILLING Up your SELF ESTEEM.
This will probably be one of your greatest brekthroughs to growth.

It all comes from inside. A decision you make,. You and you alone.
The stronger your self esteem, the stronger your honor and self respect.
The stronger they are, the stronger in turn your PERSONAL BOUNDARY will be!

 

[reset]

older joekerr thread on protecting those helpless ladies

 

[joekerr31]

I believe that the desire to save women is in a man's blood. Unfortunately, the rewards sucks ass, and can even lead you to being taken advantage of.

Your thoughts?

the desire to 'save a woman' is in your blood because you innately recognize it as the most effective means of attaining a woman's favor.

its kind of the equivalent of p*ssy power.

a woman recognizes that the thing a man wants most is to get laid. and its not JUST about sexual release. men interpret sex as the dominant sign of being prized by a woman - "if she let's me f*ck her then clearly she sees me as high value, because women don't just let any guy f*ck them."

similarly, men recognize that the thing a woman wants most is safety and security (ie. she wants to be provided for - when she picks the man she wants to have children with, she wants a man that will protect her from life's hardships during and after that pregnancy).

as such, a man who can be seen as the 'knight in shinning armor' does attain preferential status with a woman. while i don't play knight in shinning armor in the traditional sense, i know that one of the main things that women go ga-ga over with me is that they know i'm solid like a rock - that I'm calm in the face of crisis, that im rational in how i deal with life, and that when i say something i mean it (all of which equals stability, reliability and someone you can depend on) - as such, they start thinking 'this would be the perfect guy to settle down with!' so while they see me as the knight and that does create preferential status over other men.

it is basically the male version of p*ssy power.

BUT, just like p*ssy power gets a LOT of women into a LOT of trouble, so does playing knight in shinning armor get a lot of men in trouble.

and the trouble arises not so much from p*ssy power or being a knight - but rather when the person fails to assess whether the other person is worth it. being a 'knight' is a good thing IF you are dealing with a woman that has the traits and qualities that make her suitable long-term companion. just like being seductive and sexual (ie. p*ssy power) is a good thing for a woman IF she is using it to satisfy a man that is a suitable long-term companion.

where both 'tactics' come unglued is when they come before reason. being a 'knight in shining armor' is good but being 'captain save a ho' is bad. being a seductive and sexual woman is good, but being a sl*t is bad.

its all about apply these innate behaviors we have within us appropriately. you should only be a knight for a woman that is deserving of it. when your desire to be a knight causes you to save women who are obvsiously unworthy and who will us it to manipulate you, then you are in 'captain save a ho' territory and its bad for you - you have allowed your instinct to 'provide and protect' to over ride your reason.

just like when women use their p*ssy power on every man around them (ie. becoming an attention wh*re). which is what that woman at the bar did - she blew you a kiss in front of her boyfriend. an act of total disrespect and he had every right to storm out of there (even though he should have handled it differently for his own best interest).

things like p*ssy power or being a knight etc aren't good or bad in themselves, its how they are applied that makes them so. its kind of like a gun - a gun in and of itself isn't good or bad - but if you use it to rob and kill someone its bad, if you use it to protect the public its good.

when p*ssy power or being a knight takes a back seat to REASON, they become merely shallow manipulative tools that generally create negative results in the long run.

 

[joekerr31]

I think that deep inside you probably just want to bang them. Would you do this for a guy that you used to know? Or for a girl that was a 400 pound slob?

100% correct.

this woman just treated the man in her life with total disrespect, and yet he wants to 'help' - come on. reason says that if she treats her 'bf' this way then she's obviously not a high quality female.

BUT, he saw the opportunity to jump in and be 'captain save a ho' and in return get his d*ck sucked.

im glad he didn't though. but getting laid is completely what drove his desire to 'save her'. as i say in my post, its a p*ssy power interacting with captain save a ho dynamic.

 

[joekerr31]

older joekerr thread on protecting those helpless ladies

damn - i've forgotten most of the stuff i've posted on. so i just went and read my own post. i gotta say, i still endorse the views i put up there.

and im pretty impressed with myself that my reply this time is pretty much in keeping with what i said whenever that post was made (probably a while ago).

[holy crap, that was over 2 years ago i wrote that!]

 

[reset]

[holy crap, that was over 2 years ago i wrote that!]

Lol, yeah I had read it about a week ago and it clicked with me. Glad you're still more or less consistent.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Your thoughts?"

It could be that its in our genetics to want to save a woman and if so it must go back to the period before civilization where we were all out for survival and the fight or flight instinct was in full effect.

To save a woman from danger or whatever back then became us protecting our resource ie something that would benefit us as a woman could help you skin the animals you kill, build a living environment of some sort and give you filthy jungle sex on command so there were plenty of good reasons to be a woman's savior back then so it could be rooted in our genes from ancient survival times.

Or...

Maybe this savior stuff has been implanted in us by the societal matrix we are raised in.

We go through so much programming in our formative years that even when we come to unplug ourselves its lingering effects still haunt us.

We know its the wrong road to go down but we can't pull ourselves away from the oncoming train and even if we do our minds still suffering the brain washing effects of the programming tell us that escaping the train was the wrong action for us.

So my thoughts are open to either of these scenarios being the root cause of the savior mentality.

 

[aliasguy]

We may indeed be "wired" to protect. Let's say that this is true.

We are ALSO "wired" to F*CK. This IS true.

And it's not surprising that if we PROTECT, we want to F*CK her, too, after. It's not necessarily logical, or morally correct, but likely TRUE.

We are more likely to want to protect or save hot young women --- they are fertile, we want to preserve them --- for the species, and for OURSELVES.

I agree with the OP that this is a BASIC deal with us. Deep down.




But, we don't have to be slaves to our instincts.


( I know I'm echoing Kontroller above, but I just wanted to say it THIS WAY.)

 

[romangod]

A man cannot save a woman from herself. He can only drown with her.


.

 

[penkitten]

There's a complete difference between feeling compelled to 'save' a chick in the supplicative sense and feeling a sense of duty to protect her when she needs it.

A savior mentality drives the chump to take supplicative action in the hopes that his concern for her well-being will be reciprocated with desire.

Protecting a woman simply because she's weaker and you have human empathy for her is not supplication, nor is the sense of duty you might feel at times to watch out for the female species in general.

Since women are far more prone to their emotions than we are, as well as physically weaker, they'll tend to walk right into trouble sometimes, like flies attracted to a light.

The line between protection and supplication is drawn at the expectation of reciprocated sexual desire.

this was a great response, because there is a difference.

 

[Desdinova]

you should only be a knight for a woman that is deserving of it.

That was my biggest debate. She doesn't like her bf and apparently he keeps her locked up in her apartment, but she keeps letting him back into her life.

Also, I'm not really all that concerned with banging her. I did that five years ago

im glad he didn't though. but getting laid is completely what drove his desire to 'save her'.

I can't really say it was that. One problem is that I've known this woman for around ten years (I had a bit of a crush on her when I was in HS) and I know her living situation is 5hit. There's just something about a "helpless" female (especially one I know) that makes me want to help, even if she deserved the situation she put herself in.

I didn't help her for two reasons:
1) If she keeps going back to her bf which she doesn't like, then she deserves the situation she put herself in.
2) I prefer to avoid being the "friend" who bails her out of trouble.

But I can't help but laugh because she told me that she was telling her bf how wonderful I was