The SAFETY issue-discussion with female friend

[Matt Rogers]

I was talking to a female friend the other day and they were talking about safety and how girls prefer to do group dates or go to parties with men where there will be lotsof other people and have safety rooutes, as they are scared about spending time alone with men they do not know, or going places with them.

They say that until the girl trusts you it is best to do SAFE dates such as daytime dates in public places etc. and inviting girls to parties where she will know people and group dates. They say that often a girl will flake or make excuses, not because she doesn't like you but because she is not comfortable yet going on a date alone with you.

I think this is a lot of crap and think that very few girls think that every guy that asks them on a date is a potential rapist or psycho, and if they like a guy they will go anywhere with him. But i have to admit i had never considerred this safety angle


Any opinions?

 

[Climax]

My 2c...

Girls that dont know you well enough might not feel comfortable etc going on a date with u ALONE... if you DO come acroos a girl like this, then agree to go on 1 or 2 of these "safety" dates with her, and THEN go on a one on one date with her.

I find that going on 1 on 1 dates actually BUILDS alot of trust in eachother, and is a GOOD WAY to GET her to trust you... but if she IS paranoid, then go on a "safty date" with her, and then if ater that she STILL gives u b.s about going alone with you, then just NEXT her, girls like that are full of sh!t.. and if she REALLY wants you/is interested in you, she wont hesitate to say "yes" to you asking her on a 1 on 1 date, unless of coarse you DO seem to be a little "dodge"

With all the rape in the world at the moment, girls DO tend to get a little paranoid, and THATS why i say "go on those friendly dates with her (1 or 2 of them) and while u are on those "friendly dates" BUILD trust in her, and if after that she STILL doesnt want to go on a one on one date with you, then NEXT her... thats my opinon and what I would do.


Laterz...

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

Good example here

I think there could be a point here.
I've got a very good example:
A few weeks ago, i chatted up this bird in a bookshop, got on well, established good rapport and got her number, basically a classic cold approach. Now cold approaches such as these here in Britain are pretty unusual, and i reckon that while the girl had decent IL in me, she was a bit wary given that i'd tried to pick her up in this way. I called her to try set up a date, she seemed unsure and was flaky on this and subsequent attempts so i gave up after a little while. But on the evening after i'd first called her, she called me saying she was at a party, would i like to come too? As it happens, i couldn't make it and i've not heard from her for a while now.
But this fits perfectly with what you're saying, i'd tried to figure out why she was so flaky about a date, yet invited me to a party with her. Thinking about it, it probably was the safety issue you mentioned.

 

[Climax]

hmm.... hmm..... hmmmmmmmmmmmm........

Originally posted by GodsGiftToFatBirds
I think there could be a point here.
I've got a very good example:
A few weeks ago, i chatted up this bird in a bookshop, got on well, established good rapport and got her number, basically a classic cold approach. Now cold approaches such as these here in Britain are pretty unusual, and i reckon that while the girl had decent IL in me, she was a bit wary given that i'd tried to pick her up in this way. I called her to try set up a date, she seemed unsure and was flaky on this and subsequent attempts so i gave up after a little while. But on the evening after i'd first called her, she called me saying she was at a party, would i like to come too? As it happens, i couldn't make it and i've not heard from her for a while now.
But this fits perfectly with what you're saying, i'd tried to figure out why she was so flaky about a date, yet invited me to a party with her. Thinking about it, it probably was the safety issue you mentioned.

You sure she wants jst DRUNK when she invited you to the party? ... If not, then yes, it probably WAS because of the dafty issue, or her just finding it really wierd, but ya... moving along...


Laterz...

 

[squirrels]

1) Stop being so creepy...if that's your problem. You know how you can sense when something weird is going on? If you approach women thinking that seducing them is "bad" and start running game, they're going to get creeped out. Start approaching them like guys and girls getting together is the most natural, ordinary thing in the world, not like you're trying to break into her pants like a cat-burglar.


2) Find girls with a little more of a sense of adventure. I know going for the shy, nervous girls might seem like a good idea because you think to yourself, "She never gets laid, she'll be DYING to go out with me!" Truth is, there's a REASON she doesn't get laid and you're most likely making it HARDER on yourself.

 

[GodsGiftToFatBirds]

You sure she wants jst DRUNK when she invited you to the party?

Haha, i knew someone would suggest that. She definately wasn't drunk, i reckon as much as anything she'd been gossiping to her mates at the party about this guy who'd chatted her up in a bookshop, then called her up couple days later and they'd have been like 'call him up, get him down here, lets see what he's like'. ie she was willing to meet me while her mates were there but not comfortable doing so alone.
Reckon the safety issue Matt talked about applies more when you've met on a cold approach than when you've met through normal means e.g. at a bar, through friends

 

[xiola]

screw safety dates. if a girl is to scared or too unsure of herself to go on a date alone with me, then i dont bother

b

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by Matt Rogers
I was talking to a female friend the other day and they were talking about safety and how girls prefer to do group dates or go to parties with men where there will be lotsof other people and have safety rooutes, as they are scared about spending time alone with men they do not know, or going places with them.

They say that until the girl trusts you it is best to do SAFE dates such as daytime dates in public places etc. and inviting girls to parties where she will know people and group dates. They say that often a girl will flake or make excuses, not because she doesn't like you but because she is not comfortable yet going on a date alone with you.

I think this is a lot of crap and think that very few girls think that every guy that asks them on a date is a potential rapist or psycho, and if they like a guy they will go anywhere with him. But i have to admit i had never considerred this safety angle


Any opinions?

I tell guys this all the time. Its crap to us because we dont have to worry about it unless you are going to jail. A woman is raped every 15 seconds, and 1 out of every 4 females you know have been molested or raped or knows someone who has been.

This is a really big concern for them. The average man is way stronger then the average woman, so whereas we wouldnt even think about this they do.

ps. Most women watch the Life channel and every other movie has a female being raped by her husband, father, best friend or somebody.

 

[DJDamage]

When a woman is scared/hesitent to go on a date with guy it means that at this very moment her interest level in him is not that high.

Women are very emotional creatures and often let their emotions dictate the way they think. If a woman meets the guy of her dreams (meaning she has a very high interest in him) she will forgo the warning of safety issue and go with her emotions of lust and trust.

Why do you think the best PUA/good looking guys/Don Juans get the most ONS? isn't it a bit dangerous meeting a stranger on the spot and going with him alone to have sex with him?!. Think of all the women that are in a relationship with dangerous men/Criminals why do they want to be in that situation?. If you read any of Pooks/Senor Fingers articles you can see that those men tend to sleep with many women because these women are attracted to those men and they could care less if their men are good guys or a bad guys - As long as he is good to them then that is what is important.

Why do good looking men who are send to jail like Scott Peterson and john paul knowels for brutal murders of women get thousands of letters from other women proffess their love to them? Although its an extreme example and many of those women are mental cases themselves, you can see the power attraction could bring.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/predators/john_paul_knowles/8.html?sect=2

The women you were speaking to you Matt, either have bad experience with men or are lying to you to warrent this kind of statment. When it comes to emotions most women would rather be swept away then be concerned about their saftey.

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by DJDamage
When a woman is scared/hesitent to go on a date with guy it means that at this very moment her interest level in him is not that high.

Women are very emotional creatures and often let their emotions dictate the way they think. If a woman meets the guy of her dreams (meaning she has a very high interest in him) she will forgo the warning of safety issue and go with her emotions of lust and trust.

Why do you think the best PUA/good looking guys/Don Juans get the most ONS? isn't it a bit dangerous meeting a stranger on the spot and going with him alone to have sex with him?!. Think of all the women that are in a relationship with dangerous men/Criminals why do they want to be in that situation?. If you read any of Pooks/Senor Fingers articles you can see that those men tend to sleep with many women because these women are attracted to those men and they could care less if their men are good guys or a bad guys - As long as he is good to them then that is what is important.

Why do good looking men who are send to jail like Scott Peterson and john paul knowels for brutal murders of women get thousands of letters from other women proffess their love to them? Although its an extreme example and many of those women are mental cases themselves, you can see the power attraction could bring.
http://www.crimelibrary.com/serial_killers/predators/john_paul_knowles/8.html?sect=2

The women you were speaking to you Matt, either have bad experience with men or are lying to you to warrent this kind of statment. When it comes to emotions most women would rather be swept away then be concerned about their saftey.

This sounds pure theoritical to me, because I know factually no woman ever told you this. Being in the moment often can cause people to make questionable decisions, but when a date is involved this is preplan therefore there is time to think about it. One night stands happen because you can take advantage of the moment but a date is something with time to think.

It's hard to grasp this as a man because you never have to worry about this normally, but rape is a normal part of reality for women in the entire World. Just as any man knows it's a big part of the prison system. If you go to jail, you already are aware of the possiblity of being raped, women are all the same way with potential men.

 

[DJDamage]

This sounds pure theoritical to me, because I know factually no woman ever told you this. Being in the moment often can cause people to make questionable decisions, but when a date is involved this is preplan therefore there is time to think about it. One night stands happen because you can take advantage of the moment but a date is something with time to think.

It's hard to grasp this as a man because you never have to worry about this normally, but rape is a normal part of reality for women in the entire World. Just as any man knows it's a big part of the prison system. If you go to jail, you already are aware of the possiblity of being raped, women are all the same way with potential men.

Of coarse its a theory, half of the DJ Bible is full of theories because we don't pay attension to what women say but rather to what women do.

Of coarse no woman will tell me this. I don't ask women for advice on dating and how they feel because I know its not going to help me understand them better but confuse me even more.

You are thinking in logical terms as a man as a date "being preplan". If a woman has high interest in a guy, she will see him in a positive light and "preplan" does not really enters her mind because its up to the guy to plan the date, while all she got to do is show up.

In terms of risks yes its true that women are aware that bad things might happen but if they have high interest in the guy they will will let those bad things slide and concentrate on the postive things of the date. If you have a very high intrest in someone you yourself will not be thinking " damn I hope she doesn't order something expensive, and I hope she doesn't have STD or is a psycho or what not" - No you are going to give her the benefit of the doubt that this HB is normal, good and clean human being and you will have a good time tonight.

 

[TheInfamousCBear]

Originally posted by DJDamage

In terms of risks yes its true that women are aware that bad things might happen but if they have high interest in the guy they will will let those bad things slide and concentrate on the postive things of the date. If you have a very high intrest in someone you yourself will not be thinking " damn I hope she doesn't order something expensive, and I hope she doesn't have STD or is a psycho or what not" - No you are going to give her the benefit of the doubt that this HB is normal, good and clean human being and you will have a good time tonight.

Yeah, but youre a man though, most men arnt shook like that, girls are though...Men and Women dont think the same...

 

[WaterTiger]

So this woman can't leave a note?

Before I go out on a "first date" I write down who I'm with, all his e-mails, his pic and where we are meeting. I give this to a close friend and tell them what time to expect me back. I also carry a cell phone, my friend calls me every hour or so to make sure I'm all right.

After the first date I can firmly decide if he's put up too many red flags or if I want to keep dating him. Then I can just leave a note on my friend's phone: " I'm out with Kevin again..."

Group dates are NOT a good way to get to know a girl. Far too many distractions, things going on. Meeting at a coffee shop or restuarant is perfectly acceptable. If she's too scared to do that...then she's a freak!

 

[ScrewIt]

Intriguing Matt...intriguing...

With my experience with asian women is i recall most of my dates with them were "safety dates" , then when time comes for me to ask em for a 1on1....they would flake on me, or make excuses for not joining me.

I always thought i was doing sh!t wrong and having htem put me in the friends zone by having these safety dates....but it was them that had problems all along!!!!

you know the strangest thing was that after i Next'ed them, they appeared to have strong IL (which at that point I lost interest in them), which would probably make your point valid Matt.

 

[Alpine]

This being safe bullsh1t is another, 'Say one thing do another'

The same girl will be telling her girl friends next week that she met this bloke in a club,

'He was really hunky, he took me back to is place and fvcked me all night, turns out he had a few previous convictions, but she sounded like an old cow anyway, she must have deserved it'