The Rise Of Oversharing

[Solomon]

I consider myself an open person, maybe more open than most on here.
However, I have noticed since COVID a rise of women who like to overshare right away, especially on first dates
Usually, it's about exes, divorces etc. I try to stay clear of controversial topics. However, some of these women can't help themselves
If a woman overshares and crosses the line I ask them to stop if they do not, I look for an exit strategy to dip ASAP.
If one isn't available then worse case scenario I finish the date ASAP. I found that women who are still stuck on exes, dealing with trauma, or some issues are usually not worth the hassle of dating or even being intimate with half the time. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

For example in 2023 I dated a former bartender/model. Who I met through a friend at a dinner. Come to find out her ex-drug dealing boyfriend literally died a week before we met. The girl was batshyt crazy the only reason I dealt with her was because she was hot and I was thinking with the wrong head. Now that I think about it, it was not worth it at all as she just was nuts (One morning I woke up to 800 drunk text messages of her talking crazy, I shyt you not 800 text messages from 4 am to 8 am while I was asleep)

The only good thing about women who overshare in my experience is you will know right away if they are still dealing with trauma or some baggage(usually on the first date or even before depending on how bad it is). I noticed the women who tend to overshare the most are 35+ or emotionally traumatized(divorced, bad ex, according to them etc.). During my younger years, I thought women oversharing was a sign of trust as I've got older, I understand now it's unresolved trauma. I know no one wants to play therapist on a first date. I used to volunteer a lot of information just to realize it was a waste of time as most women you will never see them again even if you were to slay them.

anyone else notice a rise in oversharing or am I just getting older?

 

[Clockwerk50]

I think @FlexpertHamilton also came to this conclusion, along with other members.

In my post, I mentioned experiences on first dates where women shared deeply personal details, such as the death of a loved one, serious health issues, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, or even infidelity. Some of these were awhile back so it is nothing new under the sun I don't think.

Overall, I concluded that they might be trying to manage expectations for the relationship, lacking game, or seeking a bond through sympathy. It could also be a subtle way of signaling they’re not attracted to you and are trying to friendzone you.

Seems like most women I meet now are fvcking crazy

Let me be clear: I'm not saying they're crazy as some sort of post-hoc gotcha moment, they tell me they're crazy from day 1 with all the shvt they say about themselves, all meds they take, and various diagnosed (or self diagnosed) mental/personality disorders. I'm trying to take responsibility...

www.sosuave.net

 

[The Duke]

Oversharing is a good indicator of mental health issues. It's closely linked to lack of self control, attention seeking, lack of awareness.

Seems like mental health issues really surface in a person's early 30's.

 

[Gamisch]

I consider myself an open person, maybe more open than most on here.
However, I have noticed since COVID a rise of women who like to overshare right away, especially on first dates
Usually, it's about exes, divorces etc. I try to stay clear of controversial topics. However, some of these women can't help themselves
If a woman overshares and crosses the line I ask them to stop if they do not, I look for an exit strategy to dip ASAP.
If one isn't available then worse case scenario I finish the date ASAP. I found that women who are still stuck on exes, dealing with trauma, or some issues are usually not worth the hassle of dating or even being intimate with half the time. The juice just isn't worth the squeeze.

For example in 2023 I dated a former bartender/model. Who I met through a friend at a dinner. Come to find out her ex-drug dealing boyfriend literally died a week before we met. The girl was batshyt crazy the only reason I dealt with her was because she was hot and I was thinking with the wrong head. Now that I think about it, it was not worth it at all as she just was nuts (One morning I woke up to 800 drunk text messages of her talking crazy, I shyt you not 800 text messages from 4 am to 8 am while I was asleep)

The only good thing about women who overshare in my experience is you will know right away if they are still dealing with trauma or some baggage(usually on the first date or even before depending on how bad it is). I noticed the women who tend to overshare the most are 35+ or emotionally traumatized(divorced, bad ex, according to them etc.). During my younger years, I thought women oversharing was a sign of trust as I've got older, I understand now it's unresolved trauma. I know no one wants to play therapist on a first date. I used to volunteer a lot of information just to realize it was a waste of time as most women you will never see them again even if you were to slay them.

anyone else notice a rise in oversharing or am I just getting older?

Yeah it's because women live in one big LTR where the new man is just an substitute for the previous one.

They unconsciously know that the more information you have, the better you can make a decision. But perhaps more importantly they do this to create an persona that they constantly adjust ,every new man they adjust their story a little bit hoping and thinking they lure you in better.

It's quite the opposite strategy that we use; we tend to be more closed off the more we date. We know that that one little detail ain't gonna cost us some p00sy AGAIN ( like saying you are " in between jobs" , that your ex was a witch, that you prefer a woman with a low bodycount, and many more examples).

I guess women do this because they know if they start to REALLY like you ,you will be less judgemental than when they start spitting truths during pillow talking. They probably lost quite some fancy dudes doing this.

I hate that because it kills attraction and curiosity. On the other hand..the truth= the truth. Good find.

 

[Solomon]

I think @FlexpertHamilton also came to this conclusion, along with other members.

In my post, I mentioned experiences on first dates where women shared deeply personal details, such as the death of a loved one, serious health issues, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, or even infidelity. Some of these were awhile back so it is nothing new under the sun I don't think.

Overall, I concluded that they might be trying to manage expectations for the relationship, lacking game, or seeking a bond through sympathy. It could also be a subtle way of signaling they’re not attracted to you and are trying to friendzone you.

Seems like most women I meet now are fvcking crazy

Let me be clear: I'm not saying they're crazy as some sort of post-hoc gotcha moment, they tell me they're crazy from day 1 with all the shvt they say about themselves, all meds they take, and various diagnosed (or self diagnosed) mental/personality disorders. I'm trying to take responsibility...

www.sosuave.net

I notice women who try to manage expectations are the ones that are dealing with depression or some other mental illness in lieu of their low effort. I know covid did a number on a lot of folks but particularly women, I don't judge them but I rather not date them as I've noticed women with depression also sometimes tend to be delusional. We also live in this "Threapy be vulnerable" culture bull**** which is for women but not for men, I myself in the past have overshared sometimes with women and women do not give men the same grace we give them. Not mad about it just stating the obvious that we already covered on this forums numerous times.

Oversharing is a good indicator of mental health issues. It's closely linked to lack of self control, attention seeking, lack of awareness.

Seems like mental health issues really surface in a person's early 30's.

I totally agree with this I also think that it's due to people unable to foster deep connections or wanting to be vulnerable to foster deep connections due to being insecure or manipulative. I used to overshare in a manipulative manner, not proud to admit it but it was a tactic for a woman to open up to me.Looking at it now, anytime I was insecure women smelled it and ran away.

Yeah it's because women live in one big LTR where the new man is just an substitute for the previous one.

They unconsciously know that the more information you have, the better you can make a decision. But perhaps more importantly they do this to create an persona that they constantly adjust ,every new man they adjust their story a little bit hoping and thinking they lure you in better.

It's quite the opposite strategy that we use; we tend to be more closed off the more we date. We know that that one little detail ain't gonna cost us some p00sy AGAIN ( like saying you are " in between jobs" , that your ex was a witch, that you prefer a woman with a low bodycount, and many more examples).

I guess women do this because they know if they start to REALLY like you ,you will be less judgemental than when they start spitting truths during pillow talking. They probably lost quite some fancy dudes doing this.

I hate that because it kills attraction and curiosity. On the other hand..the truth= the truth. Good find.

Bro this is spot on, most women do not give themselves real time to heal, and are jumping from guy to guy. Heck you have some women who hook up with multiple guys a month or even a week. This is why some women you see them forever single or forever on dating apps even if those women were to get into a relationship they are doomed to fail due to their prior trauma and baggage thus setting them up for failure due to lack of real healing and self-growth.

I have known some women in the past who seem to only deal with criminals and bums not because they don't have better options but because they refuse to work on themselves. If they worked on themselves they could get a quality guy but it's the old adge of "going for low hanging fruit" if they were to get with a quality guy said guy would hold them accountable and some women would rather be with a guy who has low expectations or that they can control with the *MEOW*

 

[Gamisch]

I notice women who try to manage expectations are the ones that are dealing with depression or some other mental illness in lieu of their low effort. I know covid did a number on a lot of folks but particularly women, I don't judge them but I rather not date them as I've noticed women with depression also sometimes tend to be delusional. We also live in this "Threapy be vulnerable" culture bull**** which is for women but not for men, I myself in the past have overshared sometimes with women and women do not give men the same grace we give them. Not mad about it just stating the obvious that we already covered on this forums numerous times.



I totally agree with this I also think that it's due to people unable to foster deep connections or wanting to be vulnerable to foster deep connections due to being insecure or manipulative. I used to overshare in a manipulative manner, not proud to admit it but it was a tactic for a woman to open up to me.Looking at it now, anytime I was insecure women smelled it and ran away.



Bro this is spot on, most women do not give themselves real time to heal, and are jumping from guy to guy. Heck you have some women who hook up with multiple guys a month or even a week. This is why some women you see them forever single or forever on dating apps even if those women were to get into a relationship they are doomed to fail due to their prior trauma and baggage thus setting them up for failure due to lack of real healing and self-growth.

I have known some women in the past who seem to only deal with criminals and bums not because they don't have better options but because they refuse to work on themselves. If they worked on themselves they could get a quality guy but it's the old adge of "going for low hanging fruit" if they were to get with a quality guy said guy would hold them accountable and some women would rather be with a guy who has low expectations or that they can control with the *MEOW*

As I said it's a double edge sword. An open woman is an "honest" one so a silent woman can be a sneaky one. Other hand it doesn't serve any purpose if she tells me about her exes and their whims. Great how we think we discussed everything and *boom*new topic.

I guess that a silent-ish woman is somewhat between respectfull and sneaky...a woman who overshares can come across as extremely disrespectful imo. Like, if I hear " one night stand on vacation in Timbuktu 10 years ago" I'm basically signing off right away. My d1ck is all thats left for her now. Not entirely fair perhaps but..my standard is extremely high, higher than any hb9 can ever imagine.

I'm just too stupid (yet) to create that version of myself that gets to entirely dictate his dating life and preferences, so yeah , I'm stuck to dating a LOT of women that shouldn't even be on my radar..

 

[Solomon]

As I said it's a double edge sword. An open woman is an "honest" one so a silent woman can be a sneaky one. Other hand it doesn't serve any purpose if she tells me about her exes and their whims. Great how we think we discussed everything and *boom*new topic.

I guess that a silent-ish woman is somewhat between respectfull and sneaky...a woman who overshares can come across as extremely disrespectful imo. Like, if I hear " one night stand on vacation in Timbuktu 10 years ago" I'm basically signing off right away. My d1ck is all thats left for her now. Not entirely fair perhaps but..my standard is extremely high, higher than any hb9 can ever imagine.

I'm just too stupid (yet) to create that version of myself that gets to entirely dictate his dating life and preferences, so yeah , I'm stuck to dating a LOT of women that shouldn't even be on my radar..

I remember a few years ago I was talking to a 25-year-old-girl I met on Tinder, she ended up going ghosts but we reconnected after the holidays (this was around Christmas time/NYE so I was busy as was she riding another guy as I would find out later) anyway she came straight o my house we had a few drinks, and making out in my bed. She starts sobbing because the last guy she ghosted me for ended up "pumping and dumping" her and she was tired of "hook up culture". I'm telling you feminism has really done a number on women partificuarly younger ones.

I think it's always good for people to heal themselves after relationships/situationships etc but especially women, this "THOT" culture a lot of women aren't meant for it. The consequences of this lifestyle is not just affecting women currently but men as well.

 

[Gamisch]

I remember a few years ago I was talking to a 25-year-old-girl I met on Tinder, she ended up going ghosts but we reconnected after the holidays (this was around Christmas time/NYE so I was busy as was she riding another guy as I would find out later) anyway she came straight o my house we had a few drinks, and making out in my bed. She starts sobbing because the last guy she ghosted me for ended up "pumping and dumping" her and she was tired of "hook up culture". I'm telling you feminism has really done a number on women partificuarly younger ones.

I think it's always good for people to heal themselves after relationships/situationships etc but especially women, this "THOT" culture a lot of women aren't meant for it. The consequences of this lifestyle is not just affecting women currently but men as well.

Bro similarly most men aren't build for this !

I have to admit that I'm also not build like that...I've always been in LTRs or was busy rejecting subpar women while still sleeping with them , and only recently I completely stopped entertaining women that I have zero attraction to ( and might have to come back on that because it makes dating and fecking around very difficult).

One of the better ideas behind religion was the idea that " God" was the main protagonist in a marriage like an overseeing body who decides what's good or bad...they just lost all cred when they child abuse cases came to the surface.

People say we ain't build for monogamy ,but I doubt whether we were build to thot around ...

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It's not just a trauma issue, ime women will overshare as a screening device to see how well you can commiserate with whatever sh1t she is spouting. If you can't match and mirror her emotional energy 100% then you're not the needle-in-a-haystack "perfect match" she is looking for.

Give me some alka seltzer instead.