The ridiculous philosophy thread

[Gubby]

I'm not sure how well this will go but hell.

The idea is that I start the thread off with a statement, and you have to disprove it with the most twisted reasoning you can think of. The next person has to disprove that, and so on. Bonus points for sexual references!

Okay.

"George Bush's middle name starts with W".

 

[The Juan and only]

Everything bush says is a lie.....so if he says that his middle name starts with a W...then it must be false.

 

[Gubby]

He DOESN'T say his middle name starts with a W. That's russian propaganda: in russian Jujj dubul yu buch means "retarded french elephant", but Jujj buch means "master of disguise".

 

[flippinfreak]

Russian propoganda was invented by travelling gypsies.

 

[GirlCrazy]

Gypsies don't even speak Russian. It must be true, I read it in Reader's Digest.

 

[Gubby]

No. It was invented by travelling gypsY. There is only one gypsy in the world. He makes himself seem like many people by dressing up in different costumes and employing a vast network of underground spies and workers to spread the lie that there are many gypsies. This originated in WWII to make the romany race seem more intimidating to Hitler and make him think twice about any shi't he might have been planning. However, the nazis still captured the gypsy and in the long years of concentration camp, he went mad. Now he continues making himself seem like many because he no longer remembers that he doesn't need to any more.

 

[Gubby]

Damn, took too long. Next person continue from whichever one you prefer

 

[Brian20o2]

No its didnt take to long, you just wish it did because you name rymes with "ubby"

 

[Gubby]

"ubby" rhymes with "chubby" which is the opposite of long. Which negates your argument.

 

[flippinfreak]

"Whatever you say can and will be used against you"

Nothing can negate an argument, they are either true or false. "Chubby" is a nickname for my big toe, which IS my longest toe.

 

[Friendly Otter]

Everything negates all arguments, as the world is an illusion and everything is false. Besides, it is well-known all toes in the world are of equal length, otherwise we wouldn't be able to walk.

 

[flyinshark]

All toes in the world are NOT equal.

Following is a proof by contradiction:
Assume all toes in the world ARE equal.
Then it would mean that our genetic code is not doing its job of making everyone have different features (which includes toes).
But if the genetic code isn't doing its job of making all of us different, then that would mean that we are all identical people.
This is clearly a contradiction because we are not all identical, hence the initial statement ("all toes are equal") is false.

 

[Friendly Otter]

But there is no genetic code, as we are all designed in labs for this giant experiment called earth. Since you have to limit your expenses for such a giant experiment, so there will still be room in the budget for hitting on that cute chick in the university cafeteria by taking her out to a fancy restaurant using money from the research grant, you really can't have different machines for making different toe lengths.

You agree to the importance of having grant money left over for hitting on that cafeteria chick, right?

 

[Gubby]

Acccording to the rules of Don Juan, you cannot buy dinner for a woman, regardless of whether it's your money or not. She must pay for EVERYTHING for you, including speeding tickets.

Besides, toe length is the meaning of life. If you need proof, just ask them.

 

[Friendly Otter]

The rules of Don Juan say you should pay through your nose so a woman will like you and give you some sex in return. This isn't explicit, but you have to read between the lines. Most of the DJ Bible is meant as satire. Also, if you rearrange the letters in the first ten sentences of the Bible, you'll get the message you're supposed to provide when the UFO DJs from Mars come to contact you. They got the real babes, and that's what the Bible is really about.

The toe length 42 is not the meaning of life, but rather the number of goals you're supposed to score in soccer with your toes, before you can call yourself a DJ.

 

[DrMetallica]

The number 42 is not the number of goals to score in football. The number is actually 40, you get this by taking the the number of D in the Roman alphabet, 4, and the number of the letter J in the same alphabet, 10, and using the rules arithmetic, to take these numbers and use the process of the inverse of division, which is multiplication. This process is not found in the Bible, but in a simple mathematics text.

 

[Gubby]

Mathematics doesn't exist, and if it did, it wouldn't be in a text. Texts you get on mobile phones. Mobile phones, as you know, were invented as a weapon in the ages-long blood feud between vampires and cow-men.

Yes, and, uh, cow-men don't like mathematics. Supposing it existed. Yes.

 

[Brian20o2]

Your previous post is contradicting. If there is no mathematics then how can cowmen know they dont like it. It is obvious your brain has become jarred in the lab relocation of the toe genetics experiment.

 

[Friendly Otter]

The cowmen would know as all living things have intuition.
His brain could not have been affected, as all lab tests are perfectly safe, just like labs are safe and kind dogs.

 

[cant think of a user name]

None of you have provided appropriate references/data for any of your claims, therefore all of your arguments are based on unproven facts and as a result can only be purely speculative at this point .