The "Red Flags" list...

[squirrels]

That Freakazoid Screening thread got me thinking...it might be a good exercise for everyone to post examples of red flags they've seen from girls. In other words, things she said, did, talked about, things you've seen or heard from/about them that may indicate that they're somehow NOT a good prospect for a long-term relationship. (you know, to help protect your fellow Juans)

So list some examples of stuff you've gotten that ended up being a bad sign. It could be something that directly indicates a problem, like prior family abuse or some kind of feminist attitude, or something subtle. I heard one guy say something along the lines of, "Any girl who ever owned her own horse as a child is undateable because she was spoiled."

Let's hear 'em.

 

[Austin Allegro]

I've mentioned a few on the other thread, but here's some more.

A classic one is how she treats waitresses/bar staff/cab drivers etc. The better the woman, the better she interacts with these types of people.

A woman who gets drunk very quickly, ie on one drink - this is sometimes the sign of an alcoholic. Also watch out for personality changes when drunk. A normal person's mood will be enhanced by alcohol, but an alcoholic or someone with mental problems can just completely 'flip' and become a different person altogether.

A gym obsessive. Nothing wrong with being fit, but if someone spends every night in the gym that's a definite warning sign.

 

[JohnJones]

Past cheating (I'd rather be with someone who hooks up too much than one who cheats)

No discretion/filter -- if she says bad things about current b/f or friends, what will she say about you

Convenient Sexual History meter -- doesn't count ONS, etc.

Quick attachment -- usually means she can detach quietly without any word

 

[squirrels]

Kids are a red flag for me. Not that that necessarily is a BAD thing, but in the majority of cases she's looking for someone to support/take care of her young'uns and that's not me.

Any girls with histories of abuse...I was out with this girl last night and she seemed fun enough, but she did mention an "abusive situation" in passing that she had to "get out of", so that kinda set off my "red flag detector".

Girls who when you ask them what they do "for fun" or what hobbies they have, the first thing out of their mouth is, "I like to go out partying/hang out with my friends/go dancing at clubs/drink" and then have to stop and think for anything else. Might be great for a one-nighter or even a two-nighter. Not LTR material.

Girls without any female friends...who hang out with guys mostly.

Past relationships where the two parted on bad terms...especially where it's "all his fault."

Strippers (LOL!)

 

[Austin Allegro]

Women involved in potentially 'anti-men' activities - eg family lawyers, battered womens' counsellors etc.

Women who talk about their 'exes' a lot.

Women who are 'between jobs' for a long time or who have been off work for more than a few weeks without seeming to be doing anything about it.

Women who have been in hospital for some time with an unspecifed complaint (usually, they will say what it is, or if it's embarrassing, they'll just be vague. But if they say nothing, it could be mental - this happened to me once).

Women over the age of about 35 who are still living in a flatshare with much younger people.

 

[DJ_Dork]

Good flags.. here's a link that covers the "red flags" too on another website:
http://www.themenscenter.com/busterb/womento.htm

If you ever feel like the woman is "forcing" things on you or if you feel you "are walking on eggshells" or if you "have to be careful at what you say all the time" (we're all fkn humans right?) then you want to start letting go of the girl.

To add, some women will from time to time make one mistake or another..some red flags are okay.. if she talks about one of her exes once or twice, then that's okay. But if she keeps bringing him up for several months during a relationship.. yikes.

Trust me fellas, girls know the dating rules and they know it well (that's why they play games) so if they mess up, call them on it that you don't like their crap and if they keep repeating it.. then start letting go.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

The biggest red flag is if the ho is having sex with you she'll have sex with anybody else!!!!! You are nothing special - you are just the next pimp in line!! Don't have a ltr with a ho!

 

[Click Here]

Hot and cold interest levels. Any girl who acts like your a king one moment then is telling you to get off her the next. Don't fall for it, I dated a chick like this for over a year and trust me they are nothing but controlling *****es.

 

[Hollowpoint]

Interesting link.

Originally posted by squirrels
Girls who when you ask them what they do "for fun" or what hobbies they have, the first thing out of their mouth is, "I like to go out partying/hang out with my friends/go dancing at clubs/drink" and then have to stop and think for anything else. Might be great for a one-nighter or even a two-nighter. Not LTR material.

Sounds just like my ex.

 

[flexion_]

As stated in the freak'a'zoid thread with some pondering:

1) strange work habits... switching jobs often, working crazy long hours, excessive complaining about work, etc...

2) dysfunctional relationships with family

3) few female friends

4) multiple phobias (usually indicative of abuse or really screwed up childhood)

5) excessively spiritual (occult, ghosts, etc..)

 

[NatureGuy]

There are alot of good comments here.
The only thing I have to add is: when you're dating someone and it gets serious
you tend to not see things as they are.
So in my case, I remember she said something really weird once (sounded a bit crazy) but I overlooked it and years later I realized she was actually crazy and I was married to her.

 

[jbbrain]

WHAT DID SHE SAY!!???

 

[WestCoaster]

A classic one is how she treats waitresses/bar staff/cab drivers etc. The better the woman, the better she interacts with these types of people.[/B]

This is huge. I almost married a gal who was pretty b-tchy back in my AFC days. A real clue as to why we should not get married came at a Chinese restaurant. We're with some of my best friends and she is going off on the waitress. I couldn't believe it. I was so embarrassed, but glad I found that out about her.

She's been through a couple marriages ... no surprise.

 

[JSH]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro
I've mentioned a few on the other thread, but here's some more.

A classic one is how she treats waitresses/bar staff/cab drivers etc. The better the woman, the better she interacts with these types of people.

I cant remember the quote so its a bit pointless, but "judge someone not on how they treat their equals but on how they treat their inferiors"

and service staff should be inferior to you, you can connect with them, but do not get freaked out, scared, intimidated by them. YOU are the customer. I used to be petrified of shop assistants, now i get much better service (still being 17 and going into expensive shops they always go dunious on me) and have no fear. Treat them how you would treat hot women (not as inferiors or equals) but as if they have a role to do, where you are the man, the one in charge.

 

[WestCoaster]

Not inferior!

First off, if you're under 18 I'm not sure you should be posting here, instead on the high school board. I say that because this past week we had a 15-year old instructing people on masturbation, and now this.

No, workers are NOT inferior and the quicker you realize this and understand this, the farther you will go in life. You do not know ANYTHING about the worker other than they're trying to help you.

I don't mind the youngsters posting here, but only if you guys have something worthwhile to say. Some of the "advice" given here by the high school guys will never, ever fly in the real world.

I say go get a low-paying job, perhaps something grinding like farming (did some of that when I was a high schooler), and build some character. You'll realize that the best way to go through life is not categorizing people as inferior or superior.

Grow up, please.

 

[squirrels]

Re: Not inferior!

Originally posted by WestCoaster
First off, if you're under 18 I'm not sure you should be posting here, instead on the high school board. I say that because this past week we had a 15-year old instructing people on masturbation, and now this.

No, workers are NOT inferior and the quicker you realize this and understand this, the farther you will go in life. You do not know ANYTHING about the worker other than they're trying to help you.

I don't mind the youngsters posting here, but only if you guys have something worthwhile to say. Some of the "advice" given here by the high school guys will never, ever fly in the real world.

I say go get a low-paying job, perhaps something grinding like farming (did some of that when I was a high schooler), and build some character. You'll realize that the best way to go through life is not categorizing people as inferior or superior.

Grow up, please.

LOL that's a good point...with him being 17, that waiter probably has more money, more friends, more social status, and a better, more fun life than him or any of his friends. No one is really "superior" when we think about it. We're all part of the same compost heap.

Back to topic, anyway, the reason they say not to get into a commitment with someone who treats people of the opposite sex who they're not sexually interested in like crap is because eventually, when the libido in your relationship calms down, that's how he/she is probably going to treat you. (or your kids!!)

 

[princelydeeds]

The one Im dealing with now, is the beautiful, aggressive woman that makes almost no money yet lives like she is rich. She will expect you to take her to expensive restaurants, has no problem asking you to spend money on things she can't afford and will ask you for money.

Any woman who is bold enough to ask you for money, should be left quickly and coldly! I have a rule, I don't give any money, to any woman, to whom Im not married (and I have no intentions of getting married any time soon).

Avoid any woman who thinks that she is doing you a favor by having sex with you. Some women will pretend that sex is only done/given to please you (the man) even though she enjoys the sex as much as, if not more than, you enjoy sex. Ive had women who would throw themselves at me sexually then talk like they had just done me a huge favor and should be rewarded for sleeping with me.

 

[penkitten]

if you hear the words " make coffee on your way out" hehehehe

 

[Shot Callin]

Originally posted by flexion_
As stated in the freak'a'zoid thread with some pondering:

1) strange work habits... switching jobs often, working crazy long hours, excessive complaining about work, etc...

2) dysfunctional relationships with family

3) few female friends

4) multiple phobias (usually indicative of abuse or really screwed up childhood)

5) excessively spiritual (occult, ghosts, etc..)

Really good points. Right now my brother is in a relationship with this girl who has all of that.

When I call him up to hang out he ALWAYS has to ask her first. When I press him on this he says it just makes life easier. I asked him if she does the same, and he was like "I think so" - meaning no.

The bad relationships with family and phobias or excessive fears is a really big one. These are the girls that are taught from an early age that they need to manipulate and use guys, and that it is all ok.

 

[blienk]

Originally posted by Austin Allegro

A woman who gets drunk very quickly, ie on one drink - this is sometimes the sign of an alcoholic. Also watch out for personality changes when drunk. A normal person's mood will be enhanced by alcohol, but an alcoholic or someone with mental problems can just completely 'flip' and become a different person altogether.

I'm gonna have to disagree on this one. The more often you drink, the stronger your tolerance to alcohol becomes. I believe it's a bigger red flag if a girl is putting down drinks faster than you and shows little inebriation.