The real secret to getting women

[The Unforgiven III]

I've been observing this forum for a very long time, and I must say... the majority of guys here are so bitter and negative towards women it's pitiful. I quickly learned these are the guys who strike out with girls and in general are oblivious to what's going on. I'm sure you mean well with your offerings, don't get me wrong... but understand when you say things like "women are b!tches" or "attention wh0res", what's really happening here is your angry because these are the types of women who have dumped you or won't even go on a date with you to begin with, so you label them as such. That's the real definition of an "AFC"

That's why the word "confidence" has been twisted so badly in this forum it's become almost a misnomer. Most of the guys in here don't even understand the concept of confidence. They think it's not paying for a date, not spending any money, and not buying any gifts for a girl. They think you have to put up this wall and seem hard. Guess what? That's not confidence, it's insecurity. What's unfortunate is the gullible posters here eat that up and wonder why they're still bad with women, which is clearly evident.

Instead of working on other qualities like, I don't know... having a life (which is attractive to women), most continue in the same downward spiral until they find the answer themselves.

I'm certainly not better than anyone though, I was that gullible poster I mentioned earlier. I've read through lots of posts in my time (4 years worth).... the entire time I was looking to other people for the answer when ironically, I found it myself.

Guys who are good with women don't read these types of forums. Don't let anyone tell you different. It took me a long time to figure this out. I lied to myself for a long time. Go out yourself, explore, and never turn back to an internet forum when you hit a road block. You will have to find the answers. THAT's what confidence is.

Take it easy guys.

 

[Snowman23]

I don't know why, but that hit me like a ton of bricks.

 

[No Leaf Clover]

best post ever

 

[Obey Propaganda]

Certainly one of the more thought-provoking things I've read.

Solid advice bro.

 

[Randallpink83]

There is plenty of guys who are good with girls that read forums like these, cause forums like these helped them get good.

I will agree though - this particular forum has a LOT of negativity - and so much crap... I see so many bad tips and info being spread around... TONS of misconception...

I will go into a thread and see the OP as a huge train wreck, and then all the replies, dozens of them as even worse train wrecks, all fighting with each other and spreading crap.

But there is still a lot of good here. And I believe it can get better. :cheer:

 

[Rebound Material]

Oh god...its about fcuking time! That was some awesome insight and one that Ive noticed for a while now too. Thats why I hardly come around here anymore...

 

[02hero]

Whilst I agree with the sentiments of the OP. We mustn't forget that there are some fantastic posters on this forum who do help alot of people out. Sometimes maybe their advice can come across as bitter and cynical. However sometimes that's what a starry eyed AFC about to get his arse handed to him by some ***** needs to hear to wake him from his coma.
Alot of posters on here lately are resorting to shaming tactics on there fellow SS members for coming across as bitter and twisted when really they are just telling it like it is from their own perspective. Some members need to realise that just because everything in their garden is rosie at the moment. It may not forever stay that way. And when the sh1t does really hit the fan and they come on here looking for some advice these so called "bitter and twisted" posters would probably be the first to help them out with some straight up no nonsence advice.......

 

[Metaphysical]

Guys who are good with women don't read these types of forums. Don't let anyone tell you different. It took me a long time to figure this out. I lied to myself for a long time. Go out yourself, explore, and never turn back to an internet forum when you hit a road block. You will have to find the answers. THAT's what confidence is.

That's very true for 99% of the forum. But there's a few guys here who are actually getting laid although it's rare. Me for an example, I read these forums sometimes for my own personal amusement, but I also like helping guys who genuinely need my help.

I've gone through some messed up shit in my life in terms of dating women and I don't want people to end up the same way. I ended up cheated on, dumped, hurt, rejected, etc etc. When you see guys going through the same thing, you wanna give them advice to avoid that stuff, but not many listen.

 

[brian123]

Good post, although I have to disagree with part of it.

I'd rather learn from other peoples mistakes than to make the mistakes for myself.

Good post though.

 

[azrael]

i agree with almost the whole post but isn't insecurity also to believe that in order to get a girl like you, you need to shower her with gifts.Girls said that doing that is caring but to me that is just lame,even doe that is the way most guys get girls.

On the date thing the guy should pay at least for the first ones,but after a while if she has the means she should pay sometimes, you to are enjoying each other right ...

at least that is what i think even doe i have no woman so maybe i am wrong

 

[Randallpink83]

you know honestly - I hate to say it... But I see a lot of guys on here and I just think, Wow, they would be better off never having seen any of this.


It doesn't have to be that way - If the material was good and presented properly it would be better - What it probably comes down to is that the site isn't maintained by anyone that really knows whats up. If there was a strong, congruent leadership role being played out here, and clear figurehead examples of dudes that are REALLY good with girls - things would be different.

 

[facadegeniality]

i agree with almost the whole post but isn't insecurity also to believe that in order to get a girl like you, you need to shower her with gifts.Girls said that doing that is caring but to me that is just lame,even doe that is the way most guys get girls.

On the date thing the guy should pay at least for the first ones,but after a while if she has the means she should pay sometimes, you to are enjoying each other right ...

at least that is what i think even doe i have no woman so maybe i am wrong

that's the answer for u.

 

[Warrior74]

you know honestly - I hate to say it... But I see a lot of guys on here and I just think, Wow, they would be better off never having seen any of this.


It doesn't have to be that way - If the material was good and presented properly it would be better - What it probably comes down to is that the site isn't maintained by anyone that really knows whats up. If there was a strong, congruent leadership role being played out here, and clear figurehead examples of dudes that are REALLY good with girls - things would be different.

good post and a great discussion. When I chop up game with other guys who are good with women, they have a "duh, everyone knows that mentality" to the basics people teach here....like..why are you stating the obvious... when I talk to guys who are bad with women, they get defensive, argumentative, or on the rare occasion they actually listen. I notice the less I talk about the game, the more I grow into it. I see, observe, practice and reflect.

As for leadership. That is a good point. I think most of the people who could be good leaders are out for making a buck. There are other leaders who get tired of banging their head against the neverending wall and move on. And there are others who keep pushing out their ideas, emptying the ocean one bucket at a time.

I have been bitter and negative towards women. I know. But with good reason. An abused dog has no love for the people who abused it. But once you realise that you have power to let yourself be abused or not, you have to let the anger and bitterness go and move forward with confidence. That takes time for people to get to that point.

I can see myself leaving this site after a while. But honestly its great to read. Some of the sitiuations are so funny, so afc, its borderline comedic entertainment. I also enjoy sharing what I've learned from my past mistakes. Maybe it will help someone else. Nobody was there to help me. At the end of the day I'd say this site at least does as much good if not more than does harm...

great thread.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

WOW I think I've had enough...

No more asking for advice from you people!

BTW I learn more watching movies, and reading tips now and then, as opposed to describing a situation to people on these forums and then doing what they say.

The thing is - all girls are different.

I recently posted about a girl that you all told me to next. Well guess what, I still talk to her on AIM and I'm still trying to add her to the roster.

 

[DeePee]

I've received two different ends of advice from this site. Some have been good, others bad. Some seem to stem from women hating, and others stem from being compassionate. All I can say is that I've taken every thing in, digested it, and allowed the advice here to give me varying perspectives and clear my mind.

Some advice I've given on this site has actually gone against the collective grain, but it's worked for me so why not see if it works for others.

As a whole, this site does seem to be full of keyboard jockeys making up stories. However, just the simple task of reading all the posts brings on a "fantasy" of a "confident self" to the point that you start to go out feeling differently. That's what it really is all about. Getting yourself out of a rut and back on road with a goal in mind.

Good post, OP.

 

[LookTowardsTheFuture]

There is no resolution on this site.

It is mind made. Having the confidence that there are hoards of other guys occupying the same frame of mind gives you an illusion of doing the right thing.

The right path lies from deep resolve. Deep questions you have to ask yourself, and seek the answers to. Not within a book. Not in another person. Just in yourself, and meaning it well.

 

[Sandow]

I disagree about never returning to this site. Yes there are some not so good tips here, but there are also excellent tips. I consider myself pretty damn successful with girls and this site has a lot to do with it.

I agree with you that experience is key. But everybody here knows that. Most of us are trying to GET better. Most of us are looking for advice when problems arise. There is nothing wrong with that. Most of us here are DRIVEN, and we want to be successful at everything we do, not just with girls. So if you never want to return that's fine, but we'll always be one step ahead of the game.

Like I said, there is a lot of good information on this site. Combine that with experience and I guarentee you will improve. Heck I completely transfomed myself.

 

[Sandow]

Yes this site has been dilluted and it isn't what it used to be. The DJ's here know whats quality and what isn't.

 

[DonGorgon]

There is nothing new here at all... The OP is using passive emotional deductive reasoning to simplify the frustrated existence of many men and to discredit their frustrated responses...

The reality is that for some complex reasons women now have more power than ever before , a phenomenon that is affecting many men in a very negative way... OK, so they tell men to try harder do more give more be stronger dont worry about women dont allow lonliness to rule you etc. etc.

BUT DOES THAT HELP???

Nothing is wrong with positive self motivation and such but failure to realistically asses a situation can lead to more frustration...

Womens' power and confidence comes from "OPTIONS" - Yes options they have many many male options who they dont have to chase.. In fact they have so many options that they have no reason to place any great value on you in particular...
So now they feel secure enough to exibit genuine indifference which causes her to treat you with less respect and basic concern than she should and that is what is causing many men to feel angry!

OK so some have suggested that men stop paying attention to women as much so that eventually the women will wonder why and start acting better. That is absurd! The male population is so huge and desperate that for every dude who pays her less attention there will be 30 others crawling at her feet offering her enough gifts that she need not worry about the 1 who isnt. (30 birds in the had are worth way more than 1 in the bush.)

Many women become drunk with power and never face any consequences for treating men like SHTI!!! And since women are now the main driving force between most purchasing decisions the society as a whole bends to their whims...

THE ONLY WAY THIS SITUATION WILL IMPROVE AT ALL FOR MEN IS IF TEH MALE POPULATION IS REDUCED BY 30% So that women would really have less options..

 

[slaog]

I've received two different ends of advice from this site. Some have been good, others bad. Some seem to stem from women hating, and others stem from being compassionate. All I can say is that I've taken every thing in, digested it, and allowed the advice here to give me varying perspectives and clear my mind.

Getting different perspectives is great for learning!


When I first came on the site I was open to different viewpoints. Many people have different ways of attracting women. Soon enough a pattern started to emerge for me. That is that the more negative a poster is the less likely he is to have a LTR.


To become a DJ you need to develop a DJ mindset and that is a positive mindset.


Another thing to take into account is when people are giving advise they are giving advise from their own perspective. Some people give advice from the viewpoint of how to get LTR's and some from the viewpoint of how to get fvck buddies. Different advice on the same thread etc.