the real reason for rejection?

thebiglimp

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
65
Reaction score
1
ok, had coffee with this girl couple nights ago. she works late so i asked over the text for the second date and she says she doesn't know. she felt like she was being judged, lessened. is this another one of the commonly used excuses or just my crap personality being failure at interfacing? i was not judging her in anyway. hm, maybe called her tomboy, down to earth, while talking about her warn nails? she was a good sport about it and admitted it so wtf..?
 

Comatozed

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2014
Messages
253
Reaction score
8
Ignore her words. She could be lying to you to not hurt you or lying to herself to justify some irrational thought.

They don't know what they want, and you shouldn't take what they say seriously. It's more likely she just wasn't attracted, **** that bs about feeling 'judged', she's trying to shift the blame for her not being attracted onto you. It's what girls do.
 

LMFAO

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
760
Reaction score
40
She's probably not so much into you and rationalising a reason why. If she says she doesn't know you might as well burn your bridges and react to it as you would to a sh!t test. Whatever you do don't apologise.
 

clicheusername20

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 25, 2014
Messages
37
Reaction score
2
LMFAO said:
She's probably not so much into you and rationalising a reason why. If she says she doesn't know you might as well burn your bridges and react to it as you would to a sh!t test. Whatever you do don't apologise.
I agree with this response. Would she be feeling "judged or lessened" by Tom Brady? Hell no. She would agree to the second date immediately. Just say ok, no problem and if she doesn't reach out in the near future, NEXT. Don't drive yourself crazy, man, if she was interested she wouldn't be making it hard on you
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,693
Reaction score
7,729
Location
USA, Louisiana
LOL!!!! Yea. Tom Brady could tell her that he wants to make her is nasty little ***** and she would say "okay"

Low interest... move the fvck on.
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,514
Reaction score
134
Age
49
Location
The Castle Fox
thebiglimp said:
i asked over the text for the second date and she says she doesn't know.
The real reason for rejection.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,693
Reaction score
7,729
Location
USA, Louisiana
I don't understand why men are not willing to talk to women.... what is all this BS about texting for dates. It makes you look weak like you are afraid to talk to her. Real men ask women out face to face, when that can't happen talk to them on the phone.
 

thebiglimp

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
65
Reaction score
1
really? if she already has a low interest is that gonna change anything?
 

LMFAO

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 22, 2012
Messages
760
Reaction score
40
You're right phoning should be the preferred option. Makes you less of a pvssy as well. The con is that getting a woman on the phone can be tough as sh!t. I would say for a second date you really should get on the phone. I've had flakes on the phone as well though with b!tch like behaviour such as hanging up or interrupting me and saying "sorry, can we talk another time", but you can certainly stand out and look less of a p$ssy.
 

thebiglimp

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 29, 2014
Messages
65
Reaction score
1
well this was like a hippy chick and already knew of my character so i doubt that would have made any difference. i did ask if her family was dysfunctional, criticize about her job performance doubts and her torn nail polish. oh well, on to the next one! lol
 

EvilSpirit22

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 5, 2014
Messages
217
Reaction score
31
The real reason for rejection:

Your Looks!
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
1,127
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
RangerMIke said:
I don't understand why men are not willing to talk to women.... what is all this BS about texting for dates. It makes you look weak like you are afraid to talk to her. Real men ask women out face to face, when that can't happen talk to them on the phone.
She still gotta answer, say yes, and show the fvck up. If you were Tom Brady, you could get away with texting for a date easily. When she said she didn't know, it was a rejection.

Hey, she rejects you because you are not as attractive as the athlete who became available. Just don't be an orbiter.
 

SmooveMooves

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 9, 2013
Messages
1,450
Reaction score
699
Location
NY
Here y'all go with this calling vs texting again.

It is 2015. Everyone has a smart phone. All the women have multiple social media accounts. Most women I know don't even use the calling feature from their phones unless its work.

It doesn't matter whether you call, text, write a letter, email, send a messenger bird, hire a courier-

If she says no, its just a no in general.

Not a, "If you had called you'd have better odds"
 

VladPatton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
3,277
Reaction score
234
Location
NYC
If she wants to ride your d!ck you can send a smoke signal and she'll accept. If you call, these chicks just don't answer. They can barely speak over the phone in a business environment. It's all texting now. But...anything less than a yes or a counter offer is a sign of disinterest and you gotta drop her and move on.

I would also stop with the negging until you know her better. A lot of girls don't like it when you point out their physical flaws, escpecially right off the bat on a first date.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,693
Reaction score
7,729
Location
USA, Louisiana
thebiglimp said:
really? if she already has a low interest is that gonna change anything?
No. This behavior causes low interest. Eventually her interest drops to a level where you can not go up. Acting like a man increases her interest, weak behavior lowers interest.

My guess is that you were right on the edge of interest and acceptablity. Tom Brady would have started off with HIGH interest, so he can get away with weak behavior.... for awhile, but even Tom Brady will lose a chick if he acts like a women all the time... he just lasts a lot longer.

You started off as bearly acceptable, you could have improved this and worked her interest up, but you really can't make any mistakes.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,693
Reaction score
7,729
Location
USA, Louisiana
SmooveMooves said:
Here y'all go with this calling vs texting again.

It is 2015. Everyone has a smart phone. All the women have multiple social media accounts. Most women I know don't even use the calling feature from their phones unless its work.

It doesn't matter whether you call, text, write a letter, email, send a messenger bird, hire a courier-

If she says no, its just a no in general.

Not a, "If you had called you'd have better odds"

No body is saying that you should not text. All I'm saying is that texting is not as good and calling her on the phone. All things being equal, the best way to handle asking for dates with the purpose of improving interest is 1. Ask her out in person. 2. Call her on the phone. 3. Text 4. E-mail.

Why text when you can call? That's all I'm saying. No one has been able to clearly define how texting is better then speaking with a women.
 

Cremasta

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 5, 2003
Messages
964
Reaction score
39
Location
Australia
Don't let her put you on the back foot by apologising for stupid shyt.
Everyone judges everyone, it's called having an opinion and an inescapable consequence of human interaction.

They key is to know when to keep your opinions to yourself, but in this case I'd come back with something like:
"Of course you're being judged! I'm judging if you're fun to hang out with." (Smiley face at your discretion).
 

salinechow

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 14, 2014
Messages
499
Reaction score
172
Location
NYC
My two cents. If its even worth that much.

If a girl is into you... the venue in which you ask her out is meaningless. She will say yes. Phone call is the man and gentleman thing to do. Older girls appreciate it. Younger girls prefer text. Again though, if she likes you, you could send a telegram and she will think its sweet.

If a girl is into you... An atom bomb neg will make her laugh. Done right and without malice, you can insult her wheel chair bound, mentally challenged brother and she will excuse it.

She has very low IL.

If you feel like rolling the dice with nothing to lose:

Call her again in 6 weeks. Tell her you are sorry you behaved the way you did and that you were really just jealous of her nail polish and her "dont care attitude". You'll buy her kale salad and bring it to her at work to make it up. If she agrees the playing field is even again.

Honestly though, in that amount of time you should have at least 5 chicks to talk to and hang with for when in most likelihood she doesn’t respond and you delete her with ease.
 

Vulpine

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2006
Messages
2,514
Reaction score
134
Age
49
Location
The Castle Fox
SmooveMooves said:
It is 2015. Everyone has a smart phone. All the women have multiple social media accounts.
This is the "logic" behind "text game is good game"?

It's 2015?

The problem with your logic is this:
SmooveMooves said:
Well, to be fair...
SmooveMooves said:
Your "text game is good game" logic is easily overturned with an equally stupid rationalization AGAINST texting using the exact same points.

It's 2015.
Everyone has a smart phone.
Women have several social media accounts.

See that?
The very same points are the very same ones against your logic:
everyone texts
everyone abuses their text function on their phone
everyone attention whøres on Faceplant.

Stand apart. Most losers have too much time for...
Ugh...
*facepalm*
...internet.
*sigh*
(In my face.)

As I was "saying": You can go ahead and make silly statements like, "Women have eyes to read texts with", but it's not going to make the basic underlying dynamics of attraction change.

The hottest women have two ears to hear with.

See?
Again, make a "well, duh" point, and there is the same one on the other side.
Guys seem to believe that the stimulus which comes from the eyes is the same as those that come from the ears. It's not so in this situation. You aren't showing her pictures of your Willis, you're showing b&w text. With the phone, your voice makes vibrations that physically move bones in her body in a very unique way. Her eyes see blinky images all the time, there's nothing unique about your texts.

If it is 2015, and everyone has a smart phone (which I, for one, don't, so your statement is false), then texting is STILL stupid:

Compared to Facetime or Skype.

If you REALLY want to use the "MODERN TECHNOLOGY!" argument, it still sucks: texting is obsolete. It's obsolete because there is far superior modern technology readily available, and that technology is far more conducive to attraction than texting.

Skype and Facetime trump the ƒuck out of texting.

Consider the "Modern Technology" argument permanently blown to sh¡t. Stop using it. "Oh, well, Vulpine, Pssshfff... good luck getting a chick to..."
Good luck getting a chick to (anything). Save it.

Hell, a phone call is less scary than skype or facetime: at least you don't have to comb your hair to use the phone.

Another reason you use the phone instead of text:
less waste of time.

You call a chick.
If she doesn't answer, you leave a message.
If she doesn't call back, it's all done, number deleted, next.

That's it. Done. All questions answered: she's not interested.
There is none of this back-and-forth chitty-chat for 2, 3, or 4 days "trying to game" them into a date or a second date. "Trying to figure out" how to respond to text or manipulate them on the screen is a sick video game that has all you texty fools hooked.

No. That's chasing women, and bunk. You are feeding them time and attention in order to somehow persuade them that you're awesome.
"Duh, Vulpine, how much time does it take, Deerr!"
:nono:
You're awesome because you DON'T do that AFC crap. You're out in mystery land, doing mysterious awesome stuff, and if she wants a part of it, you don't stop all you're awesomeness to jump through her hoops and bring her into your world. You shouldn't set down all the awesomeness you're messing with in your hands to free them up to text. You, DJ, make her climb the hill, swim the moat, and ask politely if you could please lower the draw-bridge for her to come into your castle: you're too busy with awesome in the present progressive tense to put all that awesome in the past tense and play texty games.

Besides, what do you have to talk about that's so pressing that you have to text? You don't even know these women, much less have anything to text about, really. "How you doing?" <--- Not good game. You don't know the women you just met and are trying to date, there is nothing to discuss. It's easier to send off a text that will offend and push away women than it is to send one that will increase their attraction. No input is better than bad input. "No news is good news". At least by not texting, you eliminate the risk of typing off something that will be misconstrued. That alone makes not texting better than texting.

Read Anti-Dump's material to see how he relates "less is more" when it comes to bother and concern about the first stages of dating.


ONE LAST POINT:
Before anyone hops on to make a post regarding "GOOD LUCK FINDIING A WOMAN IN THESE MODERN TIMES BLAHRGHDITTYBLAHDITTYBLARGH...JUST BECAUSE YOU SUCK AT TEXTING..."

You have to date a lot of women before you find one that isn't garbage. This is known. You can't "cheat" that fact, there is no shortcut.

Claiming that you are somehow hurting yourself for not texting women is like claiming that your lucky rabbit's foot is the only reason you get laid: especially if you never left your rabbit's foot at home. It's speculation. Don't bother speculating that this-that-and-the-other magical talisman is a short-cut or magic bullet. My points are based on the principles and dynamics of attraction. If you don't understand those dynamics, if you haven't tested the theory in the field, then you really aren't using your personal time effectively trying to formulate a response. Have you tried not texting women? More importantly, is your game tight enough to? Or, are you a woman that needs to do what the rest of the women do?
 
Top