Honestly? Not quite.
Its dulled with time but I can't forgive her. Why not? Perhaps because it was betrayal after all I'd done. I've learned what i've done wrong since then- it led me to my redpill awakening. For that I guess i'm thankful in a weird way.
I disagree with deep love- hate. I think the extremes are very close. You see this everywhere. This is why the Roman God Janus was depicted so.
Either way- if someone has advice I'd appreciate it. I'm quite jaded and feel a subconscious animosity to women due to my redpill awakening.
You disagree because it's outside your realm of experience.
You often see parents scolding their children and perhaps saying something such as "you're very naughty" or maybe if they're more crass "You fvcking brat look what you've done" etc etc "you're bad for doing that"
Actually not long ago I witnessed a mother around 40 and her young son pass me in the street, I'm not sure what the son requested (to go somewhere or something) and the mother's response was "will you fvck off"
....anyway, the point is, a failure to separate the behavior from the person. Parents need to say to their kids "what you did was bad" instead of "you're bad for doing that".....otherwise kids end up growing up thinking that at a fundamental core level.....they are bad....
It's just a little context to say......if you love someone......and they "screw you over" (which by the way is very likely given the expectations we place on people)........is it not possible to hate the behavior and not the person?? Is it not possible to say......because of this behavior......it's impossible to continue in this relationship, I let you go and wish you all the best??
This can be difficult to do because it's rising above the ego.
But why should you do it? After all your hatred is justified, right? But what's your hatred doing to her.....nothing. What's it doing to you? Only you can answer that, but I can very well imagine. Ill will corrupts your mind.
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" Buddha
"Its dulled with time but I can't forgive her. Why not? Perhaps because it was betrayal after all I'd done"
Can't you see the ego in that sentence? It was betrayal after all I'd done. So you did things with an expectation of something in return...that's not coming from a place of true giving............you know sometimes betrayal can be looked at as simply a lapse in judgement....that takes you out of the role of victim and in to the realm of responsibility and control.
Forgiveness is about setting you free, it's not about the other person. As long as you hold a grudge you are tied to that person. It's not condoning the behavior.
Forgiveness is simply saying "I forgive you for not being the way I wanted you to be. I forgive you and I set you free."
Do you really thing love and hate are the two extremes? I think if you hate someone you're still expressing emotion to that person. I think the real opposite of love.......is indifference.
Suggestions?
Read The Power of Now
Meditation
Mindfullness and loving kindness
