In the 4 years that I have been actively involved in pickup there are some major Issues in myself I have never been able to address. but I've realized these issues relate to the community overall, not just me. One of the issues which I blame the community for, is keeping me, and many others, stuck in it for so long. I have known people that have been 'gaming' for 10+ years, and do not seem to be any more succesful than the average Joe. I'm not gonna lie, I have my moments where I'm still socially awkward. What is the reason for that? They say its about your 'inner game' and how much effort you put into it, but what I see is a community that actually hinders the inner effort by promoting fanatiscism, selling mental masturbation, and keeping you with hope.
Fanaticism: I do not want to make examples of people but we have eyes and ears, we know what has happened in the last few weeks (erm... RSD Julien... erm). Its the nature of the commercialization of pickup, it MUST be more and more impressive so that more people become the fans of x company. The model is simple: You have a teacher who teaches you x and y, then after some time launches the updated version of x and y, this time more extreme and outrageous, where he does this and that to hb10 and such and such. And his 'students', or what should be called 'groupies', get all excited and talk about it as if he was some athlete that just broke a world record. You see this not only online, but at bars, clubs, and streets everywhere. People saying "Oh look! he is doing pick up, lets analyze and critique his strategies", is totally common place. This fanatiscism, which is inherent in the community because there will always be somebody that is more advanced who we will admire, has really worked well to promote all types of pickup entrepeneurs. This fanatiscism, along with the sense of "community", assures that you are stuck in it and follow its rituals, since every human wants to be part of something, at least until you find someone that will settle for you (which in at least 90% of cases are LSE girls but thats for another topic)..
Mental masturbation: So what is the problem when you have a group of guys gathering around a bunch of wings to go out? Besides the fact that it is highly counter productive since it ****s up the target ratio (Really why do you need an outing of 15 pua's?), it pretty much tells you that there is a different agenda than just going out to 'game'. They are looking for A) Cheap social proof B) Somebody to show his pickup skills and knowledge to, if they are decent, C) To find other wings so they can continue going out and discuss pickup. The latter 2 are for the same reason, to form circle jerk of pickup. But all of these come from a very egotistical place, one where there is a need to impress others with our ideas, new routines, and possible closes. This is one form of mental masturbation, getting approval from as many people as possible. A good proof of this is the amount of people that do not approach when they are not with wings.
Hope: The other form of mental masturbation. We need to be reassured that there is hope for us. Will I ever find a hot girl? Can I ever be like one those guys that women are throwing themselves to? We have been sold the rockstar story, this after being sold the Disney story in our younger years. The harsh reality is that the amount of PUA's that ever get to form REAL long lasting relationships with 10's or 9's, or even 8's are so minimal that they are more the exception than the rule. In fact, I'm sure I can count them with my hands. The story of getting multiple women is also part of the story we are being sold. The need to have multiple women is actually a manifestation of approval seeking gone out of control. Most of us have been brought up in homes where love from our parents was more than normal (most pua's i know had very sensitive and loving parents), and when that same attention is not given to us by the outside world, a big void opens up, and we try to fill it up by seeking as much love from people as possible. I would say a fear of commitment is also the reason, but that seems to be a symptom of living in this society.
These are the factors that have kept us in this community and will continue to keep us in it until we realize that its all a form of desception. Of course, there is a deeper meaning to it, for some us this our only motivation to become more spiritual and centered people, perhaps with stronger personalities if we are good learners.But the way that these skills are currently taught by the community is plain and simply FLAWED.
What is ironic is that most of what goes on in the pua community is actually totally against many of its rules. For example:
1. Dont over analyze things: There is no way to avoid this when you have threads on what strategy to use in x situation, and when you have a congragation of puas at a bar discussing how the last set went and such.
2. Live the lifestyle: If you want to live the lifestyle of a womanizer, why are you dedicating hours and hours to talking about it? I'm sure Hugh Heffner, Charlie Sheen, Brad Pitt did not dedicate hours of their day solely for the purpose of discussing women. Yes I'm sure they learned a few tips from books and advice, but to sit in discussions where they mentally masturbate by showing off what they know? My inclination tells me this is something they never did.
3. Getting women should not be your goal: For as long as you dedicate your life your passions, you will get women who are attracted to your lifestyle, this has been taught time and time again, yet most people treat pickup as their side job.
4. Treat the field as a science lab: Most guys go out with the expectation of getting closes. They dont want to experiment or focus on practicing a method, they are just focused on getting laid. And you cant blame them, this promise of getting you laid is being sold to you by PUA companies.
5. What you fight you attract: Straight from the law of attraction. If you are putting all your effort into an end goal, you will not see it happen. Its only when you focus on the process that you get the results. Again, most guys are being sold the story of do this and this and you will get laid, so make no mistake that they are putting their effort into getitng in the girls pants and not on having a good time, and of course girls can see this agenda. This is inherent when you are refering to going out to the bar or the street as "going out to game", and then discussing game on your way there and while in field. The mere act of labeling going out and having fun as 'gaming' has powerful effects in your subconscious.
6. Let go of your ego: This is a big one right here and the most obvious mistake that is widely accepted in the community. Guys flaunting their accomplishments, posting texts. pictures of girls they hooked up with, and lay reports that have no detail of the strategy used. All feeding into their egos to inflate sense of self even more (however the unwritten rule is this has to be done in order make sure others have proof of your skill). Very counter-intuitive when your purpose is to minimize your ego. Dont get me wrong, its normal for men to brag about ****ing this and that girl, but there is something wrong when you have a community dedictaed to just that. It is actually very try hard and reeks of approval seeking, and I dont see why this constant approval seeking would not permiate into your normal day to day behavior.
7. Don't be reactive: Much of the widely accepted advice to any sort of imperfection in the girl consists of: "Next". This is supposed to communicate that you are a self respecting man with 'standards', who doesnt have to put up with petty shi7 because he has an abundance of women. Bullshi7. This is highly reactive behavior by low self esteem wimps who think can not accept the challenges that healthy relationships will always have. This only ensures that you never learn how to deal with the challenges of courtship and guarantees that you will be in the community for a long time nexting girl after girl. In the end you end up having to settle for the submissive low selfesteem girls who never stood up for themselves, and then you can go ahead and tell your wings "I own that bi7ch". Yea thats the ego working full force, and if you look around at PUA's gf's you will see this is exactly the case.
I say **** the community and what PUA xy did in his latest video. Stop 'gaming' and going out with expectation of any method working. Be a scientist, learn and practice but dont expect glory because that will distract you from the process. Getting women should not be a community, it should part of a REAL lifestyle.
Fanaticism: I do not want to make examples of people but we have eyes and ears, we know what has happened in the last few weeks (erm... RSD Julien... erm). Its the nature of the commercialization of pickup, it MUST be more and more impressive so that more people become the fans of x company. The model is simple: You have a teacher who teaches you x and y, then after some time launches the updated version of x and y, this time more extreme and outrageous, where he does this and that to hb10 and such and such. And his 'students', or what should be called 'groupies', get all excited and talk about it as if he was some athlete that just broke a world record. You see this not only online, but at bars, clubs, and streets everywhere. People saying "Oh look! he is doing pick up, lets analyze and critique his strategies", is totally common place. This fanatiscism, which is inherent in the community because there will always be somebody that is more advanced who we will admire, has really worked well to promote all types of pickup entrepeneurs. This fanatiscism, along with the sense of "community", assures that you are stuck in it and follow its rituals, since every human wants to be part of something, at least until you find someone that will settle for you (which in at least 90% of cases are LSE girls but thats for another topic)..
Mental masturbation: So what is the problem when you have a group of guys gathering around a bunch of wings to go out? Besides the fact that it is highly counter productive since it ****s up the target ratio (Really why do you need an outing of 15 pua's?), it pretty much tells you that there is a different agenda than just going out to 'game'. They are looking for A) Cheap social proof B) Somebody to show his pickup skills and knowledge to, if they are decent, C) To find other wings so they can continue going out and discuss pickup. The latter 2 are for the same reason, to form circle jerk of pickup. But all of these come from a very egotistical place, one where there is a need to impress others with our ideas, new routines, and possible closes. This is one form of mental masturbation, getting approval from as many people as possible. A good proof of this is the amount of people that do not approach when they are not with wings.
Hope: The other form of mental masturbation. We need to be reassured that there is hope for us. Will I ever find a hot girl? Can I ever be like one those guys that women are throwing themselves to? We have been sold the rockstar story, this after being sold the Disney story in our younger years. The harsh reality is that the amount of PUA's that ever get to form REAL long lasting relationships with 10's or 9's, or even 8's are so minimal that they are more the exception than the rule. In fact, I'm sure I can count them with my hands. The story of getting multiple women is also part of the story we are being sold. The need to have multiple women is actually a manifestation of approval seeking gone out of control. Most of us have been brought up in homes where love from our parents was more than normal (most pua's i know had very sensitive and loving parents), and when that same attention is not given to us by the outside world, a big void opens up, and we try to fill it up by seeking as much love from people as possible. I would say a fear of commitment is also the reason, but that seems to be a symptom of living in this society.
These are the factors that have kept us in this community and will continue to keep us in it until we realize that its all a form of desception. Of course, there is a deeper meaning to it, for some us this our only motivation to become more spiritual and centered people, perhaps with stronger personalities if we are good learners.But the way that these skills are currently taught by the community is plain and simply FLAWED.
What is ironic is that most of what goes on in the pua community is actually totally against many of its rules. For example:
1. Dont over analyze things: There is no way to avoid this when you have threads on what strategy to use in x situation, and when you have a congragation of puas at a bar discussing how the last set went and such.
2. Live the lifestyle: If you want to live the lifestyle of a womanizer, why are you dedicating hours and hours to talking about it? I'm sure Hugh Heffner, Charlie Sheen, Brad Pitt did not dedicate hours of their day solely for the purpose of discussing women. Yes I'm sure they learned a few tips from books and advice, but to sit in discussions where they mentally masturbate by showing off what they know? My inclination tells me this is something they never did.
3. Getting women should not be your goal: For as long as you dedicate your life your passions, you will get women who are attracted to your lifestyle, this has been taught time and time again, yet most people treat pickup as their side job.
4. Treat the field as a science lab: Most guys go out with the expectation of getting closes. They dont want to experiment or focus on practicing a method, they are just focused on getting laid. And you cant blame them, this promise of getting you laid is being sold to you by PUA companies.
5. What you fight you attract: Straight from the law of attraction. If you are putting all your effort into an end goal, you will not see it happen. Its only when you focus on the process that you get the results. Again, most guys are being sold the story of do this and this and you will get laid, so make no mistake that they are putting their effort into getitng in the girls pants and not on having a good time, and of course girls can see this agenda. This is inherent when you are refering to going out to the bar or the street as "going out to game", and then discussing game on your way there and while in field. The mere act of labeling going out and having fun as 'gaming' has powerful effects in your subconscious.
6. Let go of your ego: This is a big one right here and the most obvious mistake that is widely accepted in the community. Guys flaunting their accomplishments, posting texts. pictures of girls they hooked up with, and lay reports that have no detail of the strategy used. All feeding into their egos to inflate sense of self even more (however the unwritten rule is this has to be done in order make sure others have proof of your skill). Very counter-intuitive when your purpose is to minimize your ego. Dont get me wrong, its normal for men to brag about ****ing this and that girl, but there is something wrong when you have a community dedictaed to just that. It is actually very try hard and reeks of approval seeking, and I dont see why this constant approval seeking would not permiate into your normal day to day behavior.
7. Don't be reactive: Much of the widely accepted advice to any sort of imperfection in the girl consists of: "Next". This is supposed to communicate that you are a self respecting man with 'standards', who doesnt have to put up with petty shi7 because he has an abundance of women. Bullshi7. This is highly reactive behavior by low self esteem wimps who think can not accept the challenges that healthy relationships will always have. This only ensures that you never learn how to deal with the challenges of courtship and guarantees that you will be in the community for a long time nexting girl after girl. In the end you end up having to settle for the submissive low selfesteem girls who never stood up for themselves, and then you can go ahead and tell your wings "I own that bi7ch". Yea thats the ego working full force, and if you look around at PUA's gf's you will see this is exactly the case.
I say **** the community and what PUA xy did in his latest video. Stop 'gaming' and going out with expectation of any method working. Be a scientist, learn and practice but dont expect glory because that will distract you from the process. Getting women should not be a community, it should part of a REAL lifestyle.
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