The Psychology of Ignoring Women

[BeExcellent]

Yes but your theory above makes one very big assumption.

You assume Steve knows how to be subtle and while being subtle knows how to read whether or not there are IOIs.

That’s a big ask for Steve who is not great at reading non-verbal communication. How do we know this from your example? Steve asked out all 3 women in his workplace all at once (or thought this was Ok.). Steve needed to read interest level better in actual conversation.

If a guy can’t read social cues in conversation he’s not going to be any different reading totally non-verbal social cues.

That is why Steve needs to practice actual interactions with anybody….to get better at reading non-verbal communication..

 

[mikedee]

It only works if the girl is interested.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Yes. Including your wife who said if you had not approached she would not have spoken to you.

Exactly...so it is a win/win situation.

She wanted me to approach...and I wanted to approach.

This is feminine and receptive, how women suited to dominant men are best suited.

So you have just refuted your own theory. You are espousing ignore, yet you approach.

First of all, you are WRONG.

Reading comprehension.

Obviously, since I am an advocate of cold approaching women (thus my multiple cold approaching threads), that should tell you that I am not against approaching...in fact I've been arguing with certain guys on here, who are AGAINST cold approaching women.

That is my first point.

Second point, obviously (at least the third time I've stated this), if a woman is giving you strong choosing signals as my wife had given me on that night, then there is NO NEED TO IGNORE HER.

You don't need to knock down a wall with a bull dozer when a simple hammer will do.

Again, reading comprehension...or lack thereof.

Frankly you as a man are supposed to approach. Approach anxiety men need not apply where self assured women are concerned. I don’t have time to coddle a guy who is a big fat fraidy cat. How is that guy going to make me feel safe. He’s probably scared of spiders too and that’s just not good enough for a high self esteem woman…

You are preaching to the choir.

Now. I do think it’s a useful discussion to have because many men really are THAT clueless. But those men have lots of internal chiseling to do before the SMP is going to reward them.

Wow, with all due respect. You really don't have a clue what is going on here, do you?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Yes but your theory above makes one very big assumption.

You assume Steve knows how to be subtle and while being subtle knows how to read whether or not there are IOIs.

That’s a big ask for Steve who is not great at reading non-verbal communication. How do we know this from your example? Steve asked out all 3 women in his workplace all at once (or thought this was Ok.). Steve needed to read interest level better in actual conversation.

If a guy can’t read social cues in conversation he’s not going to be any different reading totally non-verbal social cues.

That is why Steve needs to practice actual interactions with anybody….to get better at reading non-verbal communication..

Oh please. Stop reaching.

If Steve had applied ignoring method from jump street as I suggest, and those women were attracted to him, the choosing signals would be more than subtle.

They would be glaring.

 

[BeExcellent]

Exactly...so it is a win/win situation.

She wanted me to approach...and I wanted to approach.



First of all, you are WRONG.

Reading comprehension.

Obviously, since I am an advocate of cold approaching women (thus my multiple cold approaching threads), that should tell you that I am not against approaching...in fact I've been arguing with certain guys on here, who are AGAINST cold approaching women.

That is my first point.

Second point, obviously (at least the third time I've stated this), if a woman is giving you strong choosing signals as my wife had given me on that night, then there is NO NEED TO IGNORE HER.

You don't need to knock down a wall with a bull dozer when a simple hammer will do.

Again, reading comprehension...or lack thereof.



You are preaching to the choir.



Wow, with all due respect. You really don't have a clue what is going on here, do you?

Ok. Then your whole thread is a humble brag do as I say even though you actually do differently.

Why do you do differently? Because ignoring is not leading friend.

Shoot your shot, be direct & get a response/result. The IOI stuff is useful but if you are spending too much time lurking & evaluating? That’s a hedge. Fortune favors the bold so be bold.

The best women also favor the bold. I date great looking desirable men. That’s baseline for me. They are ALL handsome or they have no chance. What distinguishes one as a stand out? His charisma & moxy. A bold move. Men sheepishly ignoring or awaiting an engraved invitation need not apply.

If you are a cold approach guy you already know all this. But you gotta remember not everyone is at Calculus 3 in dating dude. You’ve been married so you also likely have a IDGAF attitude.

You gotta understand that this strategy is not likely to help the newbs out there. It won’t. My 20 year old son (who is great with women) could tell you this.

But he’s an unapologetic shoot your shot kinda man too…

 

[ubercat]

The post could have done with a little less shotokan and a bit more aikido but the principle is sound given one big caveat. If you have clear value she will make the move in normal chick style by putting herself in proximity to you so that you know to make the move.

I agree with BE overall direct game will get you better outcomes because by relying on indirect game you are hoping that she actually understands your value. One way to blend the two is create your own warm approach. Say hi intro yourself chat a couple of sentences leave on a good note. Later in the evening go for the hook.

I've posted a few times here on being multi-channel sometimes you are hunting sometimes you are checking your traps.

Combo strategies win because they are more adaptable to different situations and environments.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Ok. Then your whole thread is a humble brag do as I say even though you actually do differently.

Um, no. I practice what I preach.

My experience actually comes from....doing.

Why do you do differently? Because ignoring is not leading friend.

Ok, then do not ignore.

Simple, right?

Shoot your shot, be direct & get a response/result.

Been there, done that.

The IOI stuff is useful but if you are spending too much time lurking & evaluating?

That is what makes a good hunter.

You gotta know when to wait.

You gotta know when to watch.

You gotta know when to talk.

You gotta know when to move.

It is "The Gambling Man's" (song) concept, but applied to the pursuit of women...

You gotta know when to hold'em

You gotta know when to fold'em

Know when to walk away

And know when to run.

Hahahaah.

That’s a hedge. Fortune favors the bold so be bold.

The best women also favor the bold. I date great looking desirable men. That’s baseline for me. They are ALL handsome or they have no chance. What distinguishes one as a stand out? His charisma & moxy. A bold move.

Gotcha

Men sheepishly ignoring or awaiting an engraved invitation need not apply.

Ok.

If you are a cold approach guy you already know all this. But you gotta remember not everyone is at Calculus 3 in dating dude.

These are simple concepts, no degree in mathematics required.

You’ve been married so you also likely have a IDGAF attitude.

But I do gaf.

You gotta understand that this strategy is not likely to help the newbs out there.

True, it aint for everyone. Just like getting up at 4am to run 5 miles isn't for everyone.

But to everyone that it is for, let them do it.

It won’t. My 20 year old son (who is great with women) could tell you this.

I am great with women, too. And I can tell you that the strategy works.

But he’s an unapologetic shoot your shot kinda man too…

So am I.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The post could have done with a little less shotokan and a bit more aikido

I see what you did there. Are you a martial arts guy?

but the principle is sound given one big caveat. If you have clear value she will make the move in normal chick style by putting herself in proximity to you so that you know to make the move.

Pretty much the same thing I've been saying.

Preaching to the choir.

I agree with BE overall direct game

Direct game is great for cold approaching...however, less great for the situations that I advocate the strategy to be used under.

will get you better outcomes because by relying on indirect game you are hoping that she actually understands your value.

You are no more hoping she understands your value with the ignoring method, than you are hoping she understands your value when you use any direct method that you are advocating.

One way to blend the two is create your own warm approach. Say hi intro yourself chat a couple of sentences leave on a good note. Later in the evening go for the hook.

That approach, while it could be successful, isn't ideal for these situations, as I pointed out in prior posts.

I've posted a few times here on being multi-channel sometimes you are hunting sometimes you are checking your traps.

Combo strategies win because they are more adaptable to different situations and environments.

I agree..and I've also said a few times that this is supposed to be one tool at your disposal, amongst others.

 

[MtmVaott]

This is useful because, as somwhere before was said, she has to show her cards.
Especially, when you 'approach' step-wise.
I wouldn't see it as a 'stragety'. It's more a life-saver in the danger-zones for approaching. Like the gym. As mentioned in OP. I actually never saw a guy directly approach in my gym, still I already received obvious IOI's. Definitely not recommended to just get up and straight approach them. Better to start very slow.

 

[soulforge]

I don't typically use the 100% cold ignore method when initially trying to hook up with a woman. I use the popular and more softer version we all know well; PUSH/PULL.

I DO use ignore once I am seeing her (plate, GF, wife, whatever) when she has disrespected me or her interest level appears to be dropping.

IGNORE is really, in the end, the extreme version of PUSH/PULL; the PULL side.. Is it not?

Do you ignore push/pull when you are already seeing a girl regular, like 4 months... Is there any need to ignore at that stage?

 

[logicallefty]

Do you ignore push/pull when you are already seeing a girl regular, like 4 months... Is there any need to ignore at that stage?

I will use it at this stage, yes. If things are going well and then all the sudden one day she is b|tchy to me or does something to disrespect me, I will withdraw my attention from her for a while. Remember, our SEX is their ATTENTION. It's currency. Women notice the change right away. You typically get "I haven't heard from you is everything OK?" or "Are you mad at me?". I even use it on my wife now. We typically text several times throughout the workday. Not excessive, but 4-5 times. If she gets b|tchy then I go cold. Then I usually get "Your mad at me aren't you?". After ignoring her for longer than usual and making her sweat, I repsond "Oh should I be"? or "Why would you ask that?". Then she will often reference what she knows she did to make me displeased. They know. If you can make them self reflect on it, it has a lot better chance of computing for them vs. out right telling them, in a lot of cases. Again every situation is different. But bottom line, yeah, push/pull works in a lot of ways.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I will use it at this stage, yes. If things are going well and then all the sudden one day she is b|tchy to me or does something to disrespect me, I will withdraw my attention from her for a while. Remember, our SEX is their ATTENTION. It's currency. Women notice the change right away. You typically get "I haven't heard from you is everything OK?" or "Are you mad at me?". I even use it on my wife now. We typically text several times throughout the workday. Not excessive, but 4-5 times. If she gets b|tchy then I go cold. Then I usually get "Your mad at me aren't you?". After ignoring her for longer than usual and making her sweat, I repsond "Oh should I be"? or "Why would you ask that?". Then she will often reference what she knows she did to make me displeased. They know. If you can make them self reflect on it, it has a lot better chance of computing for them vs. out right telling them, in a lot of cases. Again every situation is different. But bottom line, yeah, push/pull works in a lot of ways.

You kicking some good sh!t, for a change lol.

 

[logicallefty]

You kicking some good sh!t, for a change lol.

“For a change” interesting from someone who has only been here a little over a week, but thank you.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

I saw this super gorgeous girl in the supermarket the other day.

I decided to beat her to the punch.

I ignored her completely.

I ignored her so much I ran home and hid in the closet.

So far, it hasn't worked.

But I'll keep y'all undated.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

“For a change” interesting from someone who has only been here a little over a week, but thank you.

Yeah, and in the little time I've been on here tells me all I need to know about some members.

Including yourself.

 

[logicallefty]

Yeah, and in the little time I've been on here tells me all I need to know about some members.

Including yourself.

Glad your getting settled in.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I saw this super gorgeous girl in the supermarket the other day.

I decided to beat her to the punch.

I ignored her completely.

I ignored her so much I ran home and hid in the closet.

So far, it hasn't worked.

But I'll keep y'all undated.

Since you are trying to be funny, question; do you plan on coming out of the closet any time soon?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Glad your getting settled in.

I won't be here long....I just need to say what I need to say and provide gems to all those who accept.

After that, I'm a free bird.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

do you plan on coming out of the closet any time soon?

Well, sir, that depends.

if this psychology of ignoring doesn't work, I may as well go gay.

In which case I'll be coming out of the closet.

In which case I'll come out of the closet and try ignoring some hot dudes.

But if that doesn't work?

Back into the closet I go...

 

[Sleeperhead]

Trying to initiate a conversation with a girl is like trying to talk to a ****ing brick wall. It just turns them off. It indicates subordination and betaness to them. I have better uses for my time than to beg girls.

I can think of one instance that I asked a girl at work how she was doing and she responded with "****ing brilliant". My response was to walk away without saying anything, and I can tell from the way she was looking at me later on that a switch in her brain had flicked.