The Psychologist

[Solomon]

my buddy has been staying with me for several months, due to him getting kicked out by his ex, and him having financial troubles(as well as I). My place isn't that large so he "camps" in the living room(mattress behind the couch). He's been dating this new girl for a month now. He already is planning on moving in with her at the beginning of July(*cringes*) and professed his love after two weeks of knowing her(*double cringe*). I personally think she is a "nice" girl but "LTR" material? eeerm cough coough(divorced, one kid, living with disgruntled room mates, DWI no car, smokes to much pot, yes she is hot but so what?). My buddy is always been pretty good with women and has boned 12 of them since he stayed with me(although the quality is very subjective)He is 35 and wants to find a girl to settle-down with, which I understand, but since he has met this girl shes been over every day, so now you got 3 people crammed into a one bedroom apartment

The thing that "irks" me the most is the stuff that he has been telling her, personal stories that as a man you shouldn't share(stories of us with chicks in a hot tub or girls I'm dealing with amongst other stuff which frankly is none of her business). Ive told him before he has a big mouth, and never listens(He is 2 classes short of a masters degree in psychology so hes got it all "figured out"). Every time you talk to him its literally a "frame" battle. He always tries to "read" people and he thinks he is a master manipulator because of his "psych training" and I know for a fact he uses tactics every-time we argue(mostly over dumb shyt). There are times when will just hang out and he will give me "tips" on how to read people, and things to say if you want certain information from people(most of the stuff is basic psychology 101)

However The guy is "never wrong", he just can't accept the responsibility of being wrong. Even if he is wrong he will always blame someone else for his circumstance or plight, It's like this guy just won't accept the fact that he is wrong. Since I've known him we've had a falling out once before and he has lost a couple friends due to his behavior and attitude(he is also a big mooch) The ironic part is, he thinks he is superior to me or some of our other friends due to his "education" and honestly it rubs me the wrong way cause last time I checked I was sleeping on a bed with my own place and not on the floor at my buddies place.


My question is how do you deal with people that think their never wrong? especially a person who is used to manipulating people?

I know he is moving out at the end of the month so I honestly can't wait.

 

[vatoloco]

My question is how do you deal with people that think their never wrong? especially a person who is used to manipulating people?

Drop them when they're identified.

I know he is moving out at the end of the month so I honestly can't wait.

Well, there's your solution. Don't ever confide in this person again.

 

[5string]

Solomon......I have always liked you. Your insight on various matters, is well, insightful. Yer a good guy.

Let this guy move the fvck out and get him out of your life. He sounds like an a$$hole who is not worthy of your friendship.

People who "are never wrong" are delusional. He's not worth the mattress he's sleeping on behind your couch.

Please don't let anyone else move in with you unless it's a Victorias Secret supermodel who has oneitis for you and fvcks like a bunny.

 

[Mike32ct]

5string is spot on. You're a good guy Solomon, but this "friend" is totally taking advantage of you and disrespecting you in mutiple ways.

Don't tell him anything else about your personal life, and as hard as it is, try to deal with him as little as possible until the end of the month.

Most importantly, make sure you enforce the deadline. Don't let him talk you into "a few more weeks.". You'll be miserable otherwise. Don't feel guilty in the least. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty to help him out.

 

[Solomon]

Solomon......I have always liked you. Your insight on various matters, is well, insightful. Yer a good guy.

Let this guy move the fvck out and get him out of your life. He sounds like an a$$hole who is not worthy of your friendship.

People who "are never wrong" are delusional. He's not worth the mattress he's sleeping on behind your couch.

Please don't let anyone else move in with you unless it's a Victorias Secret supermodel who has oneitis for you and fvcks like a bunny.

He was in a situation were he needed a place to live, I was in a situation were I needed that extra cash having no job and just ran out of my savings etc, I was very desperate at the time

5string is spot on. You're a good guy Solomon, but this "friend" is totally taking advantage of you and disrespecting you in mutiple ways.

Don't tell him anything else about your personal life, and as hard as it is, try to deal with him as little as possible until the end of the month.

Most importantly, make sure you enforce the deadline. Don't let him talk you into "a few more weeks.". You'll be miserable otherwise. Don't feel guilty in the least. You've gone above and beyond the call of duty to help him out.

yeah last night we got into an argument because he ran the AC (didn't have to work instead of looking at apartments he cleaned the house and then sat down and watched friends, oh he did look but online on craiglist)

right now I really don't wanna talk to him, and I know that another talk well come and I will enforce the deadline

I'm tempted to call him out on having his girl to live with us without my permission but I know shyt will just hit the fan, he is so frigging "whipped" right now its not even funny

I also found out some 411, it seems "shes gotton around" from a reliable source who works with her longer then I have, it baffled me at first how a beautiful women could sleep on some guys floor on the mattress but now its obvious to me she is just looking for some "sucker" to wife her up and I've noticed some BDP tendencies already(extreme high IL, mood shifts, high sex drive, always worried about "him" and their situation etc)

 

[squirrels]

Well, there's your solution. Don't ever confide in this person again.

This....

Let this guy move the fvck out and get him out of your life.

...and this.

Simple solution that's halfway done anyway.

 

[Solomon]

Squrirrles what up!

Its not so much that I "confide" in him, its that we've had a few "adventures" together and hes lived with me so my privacy has been compromised to an extend i.e. people ive hung out with, girls, etc.The first time he talked to her on the phone he talked to her for 4 hours(according to both of them). The guy loves to talk give him some booze and he is croaking like a bird and of course their is the early morning/late "pillow talk" which isn't hard to hear when he is talking to her

smh

 

[davewe]

So, he's 35, lives on your couch, but knows everything.

Kick him out ASAP or before you know it the end of the month will become the end of next month or the end of the year.

 

[women haze]

What kind of friends do you have.....With a Friend like yours who needs enemies?

 

[bugsquish]

Solomon......
Please don't let anyone else move in with you unless it's a Victorias Secret supermodel who has oneitis for you and fvcks like a bunny.

Haha! Well said

This all sounds very familiar. The last LTR I had was with a psychology masters. She was the most beautiful women I've ever been with (easily HB9.5, people would stop and stare) but in any kind of discussion or debate it was a frustrating lost cause. She knew everything to begin with, was unshakable in her conviction regardless of being presented with evidence, and had an uncanny ability to manipulate me to start believing that a circle was, in fact a square. I miss a lot of things about her, but I'm still glad to be out of that situation!

 

[azanon]

Solomon,

There are some people who at least appear to be never wrong because they follow the same rules that I do. If I know that I know something and have evidence to support it, then I speak up. If I am unsure, then I try not to say anything and just listen. So, not only is it possible to appear to be never wrong, I think more people should strive for this. There are way too many people speaking up about things that they have little to no education on.

Solomon, have you considered the fact that it is possible your friend really is more educated than you? Your post seems to indicate you have a problem with that. Perhaps he's frustrated as well to not have reciprocation on an equilivant level.

TBH, I grew apart from a very close friend I had in high school. This friend just got a job with his high school diploma, and I went on to eventually get a masters in Biology. As one can imagine, it became more and more difficult for us to have discussions with any degree of parity. I imagine he has told several people I am a "know-it-all". From his perspective, I could see how it might appear that way to him.

You said you had financial issues as well, meaning his moving in was helping you too. So I am not going to critize either you or him on that issue.

 

[Solomon]

some people don't get it

Solomon,

There are some people who at least appear to be never wrong because they follow the same rules that I do. If I know that I know something and have evidence to support it, then I speak up. If I am unsure, then I try not to say anything and just listen. So, not only is it possible to appear to be never wrong, I think more people should strive for this. There are way too many people speaking up about things that they have little to no education on.

Solomon, have you considered the fact that it is possible your friend really is more educated than you? Your post seems to indicate you have a problem with that. Perhaps he's frustrated as well to not have reciprocation on an equilivant level.

TBH, I grew apart from a very close friend I had in high school. This friend just got a job with his high school diploma, and I went on to eventually get a masters in Biology. As one can imagine, it became more and more difficult for us to have discussions with any degree of parity. I imagine he has told several people I am a "know-it-all". From his perspective, I could see how it might appear that way to him.

You said you had financial issues as well, meaning his moving in was helping you too. So I am not going to critize either you or him on that issue.

1. Just because your educated doesn't mean your smart or know better, once again the guy is 35 years old, sleeping on a mattress at the floor, He's made many poor decisions the last few years and also has a alcohol problem which he admitted himself.

2. Of course he is more educated then me, doesn't mean shyt. The guy has made poor decisions like I stated before, stuck it out with a BDP chick twice for a period of over 3 years when guys warned him, lost his previous job for a "questionable act", lost great friends. AND NOW HE IS MOVING IN WITH A CHICK WHO HE HAS KNOWN FOR A MONTH, DOES THIS SOUND LIKE A SMART PERSON TO YOU? Just because your educated doesn't mean you have common sense which he lacks

3. Yup he was helping me, we were helping each other, however its become apparent that he is has taking advantage of the situation by letting his girl move in(among other things). Financially I'm a lot more stable then I was 7 months ago

UPDATE:

Had a discussion with him and his "girly" and I reamed them good, basically stating my displeasure on him abusing my kindness in letting him stay as well as not respecting me by taking advantage of the situation i.e. letting his g/f move in, doing as he pleases etc

I was blunt straight to the point, at the end of it he asked me if i wanted to move with him and his girly and that it be a great deal

some people don't get it azaon and living with him for 7 months I now know why

 

[5string]

This brings something to mind that I have noticed in life:

There are many people who are both book smart and common sense defficient. Education alone may get you to the library, but it won't get you to the bank.