The power of keeping exs around and not holding grudges

[saywhen]

Something i have discovered...


A lot of you guys would disagree with this.

One thing I really dont get is how a lot of you out there hold this undying grudge against your exes. Saying if shes broken your heart, "be a man" and cut all contact... Heres what i think..

Yah, of course if someone has disrespected you said person should face consequences... But i believe being a man means not holding grudges, getting over it, and not letting it bother you. If you manage to keep some sort of relation with exes after the fact it can really help you out with future prospects. New women in your life will see that you can manage to keep a healthy mindset even after **** goes sour. Also, if you are chilling in a social situation and have an ex around it will create lots of sexual tension! This is obviously a great thing.Women like challenges and want to be the top ,plate right!?

Just some food for thought.
Dont hold grudges against people.
Keeping people around will help your game.

 

[The Duke]

One day I managed to get my exwife and girlfriend at my house at the same time. I had them both standing over the stove cooking me a meal. I didn't know how it would turn out, but they both stepped up and were on their best behavior trying to please me. I just kicked back and smiled like I was a big P.I.M.P. Afterwards, they both said they were nervous as hell. lol


From that point forward they both tried harder for my affection. I wouldn't try this with 2 girls that leaned towars the jealous/insecure side. Both of these were pretty secure with who they were.

 

[saywhen]

Haha thats what I'm talking about!
I agree with the fact it only working with secure women.
Who would want to be with weak women anyways though! Haha

A situation actually happened last night which inspired this post..

I was chilling with this chick. A friends with benefits type girl.
We ended up going to this pub where my ex works.
The FWB knew she was my ex but never met her.
Shes like. "Is THAT your ex??!! Damn shes hot!!"
Haha and i was like. " yah. I know."
The whole night they were both fighting for my attention, buying me shots and such.
I had the same reaction as you. Jus sat back smiling taking it all in!

The only thing that can possibly go wrong in that situation is if they become good friends and decide to team up against you!
Haha. I just keep it cool though.
Show that no body is more important then the next.

 

[saywhen]

Had the ex telling me she still loves me by the end of it too! Hahaha

 

[thatfeel]

OP most guys who get dumped never tell both sides of the story and only place blame on the girl. Something to think about.

 

[Groverz]

I am friends with all of my exs. Life it too short to hold grudges. All my exs are awesome and I am friends with their bfs, it takes a bit to get there but it's worth it. But also they are not my type anymore except the most recent one so this one will be a bit harder.

 

[saywhen]

OP most guys who get dumped never tell both sides of the story and only place blame on the girl. Something to think about.

Oh I totally agree.
This post was just about maturity level.
And how keeping in touch can help.
There should be no blame at all really.
if its over, its over. I just see no point avoiding a chick after.
Who knows you might just end up banging her again.
That is of course if one can emotionally handle that.

 

[saywhen]

In my opinion, NC should only be unintentionally applied. Showing you have other things to think about rather then some chick.

 

[OrokuSaki]

I kept an ex around recently and she started f***ing one of my buddies ( I encouraged it to get her off my back) and I started chilln with her on occasion as friends. A few of her friends are pretty hot so naturally I was hoping to be hooked up, esspecially after being cool about her doing what she was doing with one of my good friends. This did not happen. Her friends flirted with me at first and I got one of their numbers then out of no where they just wouldnt talked to me because my ex got jealous and told them she wasnt cool with it.

 

[Driggs]

All breakups are bad, everybody says bad sh1t during a breakup.

Friends are good. If you can do it, go for it. Some can't. Calling the woman a b1tch and cvnt is low-class.

 

[saywhen]

I kept an ex around recently and she started f***ing one of my buddies ( I encouraged it to get her off my back) and I started chilln with her on occasion as friends. A few of her friends are pretty hot so naturally I was hoping to be hooked up, esspecially after being cool about her doing what she was doing with one of my good friends. This did not happen. Her friends flirted with me at first and I got one of their numbers then out of no where they just wouldnt talked to me because my ex got jealous and told them she wasnt cool with it.

Thats pretty brutal man.
But hey. At least you know her interest is still there for you!
That can still be useful to getting other women outside her group

 

[BraddH]

Abolutely true op.

 

[MikeOck]

Do what you need to do and what makes you feel good about your life.

However, few things are bigger red flags to me than a woman who has a close relationship with her ex(s). Sooner or later, a few drinks and an argument in and she's sleeping with her ex to "get back at you".

A lot of guys will agree with the op because they desperately want justification for their afc compulsion to keep their ex in their life in hopes of one day "winning her back", whether they admit to their motivations or not. Think about this: there are almost 7,000,000,000 people in the world, more than half of them women, a truly incomprehensible number. Surely you can find a few with whom you don't have a sorted history to befriend and fornicate.

Furthermore, removing someone from your life does not equal to holding a grudge. It is simply the realization that the future, and your life, are ahead of you, not behind. Let the past stay where it belongs and you will find the true path to happiness.

 

[joker79]

A lot of guys will agree with the op because they desperately want justification for their afc compulsion to keep their ex in their life

that's the real reason, even if you don't want to get her back

 

[Formerlyrossitheking]

Do what you need to do and what makes you feel good about your life.

However, few things are bigger red flags to me than a woman who has a close relationship with her ex(s). Sooner or later, a few drinks and an argument in and she's sleeping with her ex to "get back at you".

A lot of guys will agree with the op because they desperately want justification for their afc compulsion to keep their ex in their life in hopes of one day "winning her back", whether they admit to their motivations or not. Think about this: there are almost 7,000,000,000 people in the world, more than half of them women, a truly incomprehensible number. Surely you can find a few with whom you don't have a sorted history to befriend and fornicate.

Furthermore, removing someone from your life does not equal to holding a grudge. It is simply the realization that the future, and your life, are ahead of you, not behind. Let the past stay where it belongs and you will find the true path to happiness.

^ Totally agree.

 

[saywhen]

I'm not saying I would be with a chick exclusively if she's really good friends with her ex. Nor am I friends with mine in hopes to get her back. The point I was trying to make is if you have a clean break and manage to keep things civil with an ex in a situation where you have another future prospect around it'll be very beneficial, for many reasons.

In my own personal circumstance my ex was still very much into me.
The other chick saw that another attractive female was attracted to me and that made her own interest level increase. With my ex seeing this, that in turn made her show her attraction even more so and they eventually both escalated their attraction by feeding off each others need to compete.

I do agree somethings should be left in the past. But if you can use your past to your advantage, why not do so?

 

[Bible_Belt]

One day I managed to get my exwife and girlfriend at my house at the same time. I had them both standing over the stove cooking me a meal. I didn't know how it would turn out, but they both stepped up and were on their best behavior trying to please me. I just kicked back and smiled like I was a big P.I.M.P. Afterwards, they both said they were nervous as hell. lol


From that point forward they both tried harder for my affection. I wouldn't try this with 2 girls that leaned towars the jealous/insecure side. Both of these were pretty secure with who they were.

Nice. My gf and I went out to dinner with my ex-wife when we were in Florida a few years ago. I tried to cancel beforehand because we were running late, but my ex-wife started crying over the phone. Everything went similarly to what you described.