Vicomte de Valmont
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- Mar 15, 2002
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If you’re not good with people try these. These only work when you are loosened up and when you think you can pull it off without hurting the other person.
· When someone does something that hurts you like she’s leaving the spot you get down on your knees and beg her not to go. If she walks you get dragged. Smile afterwards. You can also hug the person with great force.
· When she says something you say “what?” She repeats what she’s said before and you again say “what?” Do that until she knows you’re kidding. Smile afterwards.
· When someone’s watching you dance put your pointing finger and middle finger in your mouth and then make circles with them around your nipples. Smile afterwards. Or take your shirt off and take the both ends of it and rub it between your legs while dancing. Smile of course.
· When pouring her a drink pour hers in glass and take the bottle yourself. Do this when there are more bottles of that drink.
· When she wants flowers you buy her a marihuana tree (if that is legal where you live.) If that is a crime then give her something unromantic. She wants chocolate you give her a Mars bar(3000 Miles to Graceland.)
· When it’s her birthday give her a Slimfast product which is wrapped of course. Then when she’s about to get mad say “Hey I’m kidding and give her the real present and say something sweet and personal. You should mean what you say.”
· Sit on her lap when there are a lots of places for you to sit. Use all your weight.
· When she’s about to go to work have a quickie with her. Give her very little time to get back to her normal self.
· If she’s sitting on your favorite spot then grab her and pull her out of your chair. Or if she’s standing somewhere you want to stand just push her away. Don’t be afraid. You won’t break her and also don’t exaggarate.
Most of the jokes you do with guys can be done with women. You just have to loosen up yourself. People should know that you are making a joke.
Man or woman? Doesn't matter that much. That's the funny part.
· When someone does something that hurts you like she’s leaving the spot you get down on your knees and beg her not to go. If she walks you get dragged. Smile afterwards. You can also hug the person with great force.
· When she says something you say “what?” She repeats what she’s said before and you again say “what?” Do that until she knows you’re kidding. Smile afterwards.
· When someone’s watching you dance put your pointing finger and middle finger in your mouth and then make circles with them around your nipples. Smile afterwards. Or take your shirt off and take the both ends of it and rub it between your legs while dancing. Smile of course.
· When pouring her a drink pour hers in glass and take the bottle yourself. Do this when there are more bottles of that drink.
· When she wants flowers you buy her a marihuana tree (if that is legal where you live.) If that is a crime then give her something unromantic. She wants chocolate you give her a Mars bar(3000 Miles to Graceland.)
· When it’s her birthday give her a Slimfast product which is wrapped of course. Then when she’s about to get mad say “Hey I’m kidding and give her the real present and say something sweet and personal. You should mean what you say.”
· Sit on her lap when there are a lots of places for you to sit. Use all your weight.
· When she’s about to go to work have a quickie with her. Give her very little time to get back to her normal self.
· If she’s sitting on your favorite spot then grab her and pull her out of your chair. Or if she’s standing somewhere you want to stand just push her away. Don’t be afraid. You won’t break her and also don’t exaggarate.
Most of the jokes you do with guys can be done with women. You just have to loosen up yourself. People should know that you are making a joke.
Man or woman? Doesn't matter that much. That's the funny part.