The Order of Events : Self-Improvement vs. Practice

[Ben MacDui]

One of the aspects of the forum that I particularly like is that I see many threads and posts emphasising goal-setting and improving yourself in all aspects of life (whether it be personality, physical, image, career etc.) as going hand in hand with learning about seduction.

While I do understand that the process of self-development never "stops" (and is also more crucial than the mere need to attract women), what I need guidance on (and which isn't clear in the DJ Bible) is what order this fits into the approach.

As an example, I'm visibly overweight, although I am losing weight steadily (and have lost much already) due to a strict gym regime and eating healthily. My ideal weight is still 4-5 months away. Do I start to vigorously approach now, or wait until I'm fitter?

Also, I'm beginning to make an effort to improve my style and image (via buying decent clothes and accessories, getting decent haircuts), but am not there yet. Another element is inner-game and confidence, an area that I am slowly improving (from a low point) but for which there is more work to do. Obviously, career improvement is a longer change that may take years to come to fruition.

In your experience, at what point did you start practising speaking to women, within the context of all the self-improvement that you did concurrently? If you wait until you're perfect physically/mentally etc. then it is easy to use that to procrastinate (which I do not want) and never start at all, but if you start immediately and unprepared then you could end up doomed to unnecessary failure. Personally I want to dive right in, but there is need to prepare myself adequately beforehand.

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

 

[nevergiveup]

I would start immediately... the longer you wait the harder it will get.

 

[ketostix]

I would start approaching women immediately. And do the self-improvement concurrent with approaching and interacting with women. Don't put that off untill you "improved sufficently". When will this point come anyway?

 

[Interceptor]

Approach but WITHOUT Outcome Dependancy.
Go up to women and have a good conversation. Find how to open them, show a good vibe, and build rapport.
Nothing more.
THEN....once you feel more comfortable around women, and since you really aren't looking to get laid right now, or even a number....you have less pressure, performance anxiety or scarcity complex. Since you feel comfortable talking and interacting with any women, regardless oflooks or status.

Feel comfortable around women. Get that stuff worked out firs.
You'll see how easily it will be to transition into SOI, and escalation into number closes, and more.
Rule number one: Don't give away the farm to some chick you just met.
Rule Number Two: Act sexually/romantically interested only AFTER she has given you a signal that merits your attentio to her. In other words, if you like say, photography, and you're talking to some chick, and she starts talking about photography, then and only then, o you show more interest and reward her and can now give genuine compliments and signals. Because she's earned them.
Anything else seems suppplicating, needy, and not socially aware.
That's why it's not such a great idea to be a dork and go up to women and just comment on their beauty. Women always question your motives and your agenda. Women know that you think she's hot, otherwise, you wouldn't be talking to her. But escalating unnaturally, will get you rejected. Because you're bypasisng stages of attraction, and you're assuming that just because you're interested in her, she must be into you too. That's not always the case.
Now, hold on....generally speaking, you should act confidently as if the woman is attracted to you. But be careful of "interest". A woman can be attracted, but NOT INTERESTED in you.
Find the fine line there.
If you come off as "You are so into me." and haven't gotten too many signals from her that she is, be more tactical, and tactful.

So have confidence in yourself at all times, in every stage of the interaction with her. Even when she Sh*t tests you.
Assume the attraction. And move confidently with that. But only SOI when she's earned it. Otherwise, you're showing your agenda is "I just am talking to you because I'm trying to convine you to like me enough so we can go fvck." (Although truthfully, we're not there to be "liked". Or worry about our "reputation" and if we're being perceived as "Nice enough for her". We don't take that sh*t into account. That's AFC behavior.)

That is generally the truth, actually.

Buit have more taste, class, and skill in your seduction.

The better your seduction skills, the easier it is for the woman to rationalize her behavior and say "Yes".
Women want men who have life,vitality, passion, ambition, goals, and desires,who have Lives. Who have confidence, and know what they want and how to get it.

Go get 'em. tigers.