The Official So Suave Making Your Life Easier Thread, (Education)

[Maximus Rex]

“If I only knew then, what I know now.” You’ll often hear people say this as they reflect upon the mistakes that they made earlier in life. Ironically, upon closer examination, you’ll find out that the same people who often make this statement, often had the game needed to avoid making the mistake (and/or mistakes,) that later had a detrimental effect on their lives, they just choose not to pay heed to game that was being given at the time. Good ole Rex is starting thread that’s going to be a part of an ongoing series that’s designed to give y'all the game that will eventually be needed to avoid certain pitfalls in life, so you won’t end up being the dumb muthaf*cka that says, “If I only knew then, what I know now.” or "If I only listened." Since a lot of you guys are going to be starting college next month I’m going to start off by talking about education, but this information is also applicable to high school students too. I also encourage other DJ's to offer their experiences an insight to the subject.

13) Get Some Decent Luggage

Before you leave for school, hit up your parents, your granny, your pa pa, or your favorite uncle, or auntie and tell them to buy you some luggage. (Or ask for some luggage as a graduation gift, if you don't get a luggage set, use your graduation gift money to buy some luggage.) Everybody adult should have four pieces of luggage, a big suitcase, the medium sized one, a small overnight bag, a garment bag, and a dobb kit.

Three piece luggage set

Samsonite garment bag

Dobb Kit

A dobb kit is small bag to keep your toiletries in, (specifically so your toothpaste and lotion don't get on your clothes,) The garment bag is so your suits don’t get wrinkled and you should also buy the locks. Though I don’t buy a lot of stuff from there, I do advise getting your luggage from Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or Ross, the luggage will be a lot cheaper, however the set won’t match.

12) Get Two Navy Blue Single Breasted Suits

The classic navy blue business suit.

The single breasted navy blue business suit is universally recognized as the standard for business wear and you should have these in our wardrobe. Again, go on a fundraising campaign and have your parents, your granny, your pa pa, your favorite uncle, or auntie buy you these two essential items before you leave for school. If asked what you want for a graduation gift, a suit should be one of the things that you should ask for or use your graduation gift money and buy the suits yourself. Don't forget to buy some white dress shirts. You can add some versatility to your shirt collection by getting something like this,

From left to right, round collar, spread collar, and the traditional collar

There are going to be career fairs at your school, so you’re going to have to look the part. You’ll also need twelve pair of navy blue dress socks, (so you’ll always have some on deck,) and remember to match your leathers and your metals. For example, if you’re wearing a brown belt, wear brown shoes. If you have on a stainless steel watch, wear a belt with a stainless steel buckle.

You will also need to have your suit altered so it will fit properly. Have the bottom your slacks tapered and have your jacket adjusted in the shoulders, brought in at the waist, and have the sleeves brought up as to expose the cuff. If you really want to (look mackish and high side,) have the button holes, the lapel hole, and pockets opened up. With the button closest to the bottom of jacket leave that one undone. As for your dress shoes, get some cap toe oxfords, buy some cedar shoe trees and shoe bags. The shoes trees are for the shoes keep their form.

Brown cap toe oxfords from Allen Edmonds

Also, get a trench coat, there’s nothing tackier than seeing a cat in a parka (e.g. Northface) when he has on business attire.

Traditional double breasted trench coat

Various styles of men's raincoats

Make sure that coat you get is a raincoat and not a an overcoat or a topcoat. Though all three coats will provide warmth, all three will not keep your dry, as a matter of fact if you wear an overcoat or a topcoat in the rain, sleet, or snow, the water will ruin the material that an overcoat or top coat is made of. Trench coats are made of waterproof material and therefore will keep you dry, that's why ole Rex is suggesting that you get a trench coat, before you get any other type of dress winter coat.

Overcoat

Here are some business attire don’ts.

A) Don’t wear tube socks with causal or business attire EVER! Those trilfin’ ass human resources people will eliminate you from the hiring process because of it.

B) Don’t wear ball caps with causal or business attire EVER. If you want to wear a cap with business attire, go buy a newsie or a driver’s cap. Also, get a proper winter hat. If you’re going to wear a beanie with a suit, the afternoon high for the day, better be 23 degrees with a wind chill factor of -5.



Rex wearing his newsboy cap.

Driver's cap

C) Don’t button the bottom button on a jacket, EVER!

D) Don’t wear suspenders with pants that have belt loops, the sh*t is tacky and redundant as f*ck.

E) Finally, if you don’t know how to tie a necktie, MUTHAF*CKA, YOU’RE LOSING IN LIFE AND LEARN!

http://community.allhiphop.com/disc...how-to-tie-a-necktie-you-re-losing-in-life/p1

 

[Maximus Rex]

“If I only knew then, what I know now.” You’ll often hear people say this as they reflect upon the mistakes that they made earlier in life. Ironically, upon closer examination, you’ll find out that the same people who often make this statement, often had the game needed to avoid making the mistake (and/or mistakes,) that later had a detrimental effect on their lives, they just choose not to pay heed to game that was being given at the time. Good ole Rex is starting thread that’s going to be a part of an ongoing series that’s designed to give y'all the game that will eventually be needed to avoid certain pitfalls in life, so you won’t end up being the dumb muthaf*cka that says, “If I only knew then, what I know now.” or "If I only listened." Since a lot of you guys are going to be starting college next month I’m going to start off by talking about education, but this information is also applicable to high school students too. I also encourage other DJ's to offer their experiences an insight to the subject.

13) Get Some Decent Luggage

Before you leave for school, hit up your parents, your granny, your pa pa, or your favorite uncle, or auntie and tell them to buy you some luggage. (Or ask for some luggage as a graduation gift, if you don't get a luggage set, use your graduation gift money to buy some luggage.) Everybody adult should have four pieces of luggage, a big suitcase, the medium sized one, a small overnight bag, a garment bag, and a dobb kit.

Three piece luggage set

Samsonite garment bag

Dobb Kit

A dobb kit is small bag to keep your toiletries in, (specifically so your toothpaste and lotion don't get on your clothes,) The garment bag is so your suits don’t get wrinkled and you should also buy the locks. Though I don’t buy a lot of stuff from there, I do advise getting your luggage from Marshalls, TJ Maxx, or Ross, the luggage will be a lot cheaper, however the set won’t match.

12) Get Two Navy Blue Single Breasted Suits

The classic navy blue business suit.

The single breasted navy blue business suit is universally recognized as the standard for business wear and you should have these in our wardrobe. Again, go on a fundraising campaign and have your parents, your granny, your pa pa, your favorite uncle, or auntie buy you these two essential items before you leave for school. If asked what you want for a graduation gift, a suit should be one of the things that you should ask for or use your graduation gift money and buy the suits yourself. Don't forget to buy some white dress shirts. You can add some versatility to your shirt collection by getting something like this,

From left to right, round collar, spread collar, and the traditional collar

There are going to be career fairs at your school, so you’re going to have to look the part. You’ll also need twelve pair of navy blue dress socks, (so you’ll always have some on deck,) and remember to match your leathers and your metals. For example, if you’re wearing a brown belt, wear brown shoes. If you have on a stainless steel watch, wear a belt with a stainless steel buckle.

You will also need to have your suit altered so it will fit properly. Have the bottom your slacks tapered and have your jacket adjusted in the shoulders, brought in at the waist, and have the sleeves brought up as to expose the cuff. If you really want to (look mackish and high side,) have the button holes, the lapel hole, and pockets opened up. With the button closest to the bottom of jacket leave that one undone. As for your dress shoes, get some cap toe oxfords, buy some cedar shoe trees and shoe bags. The shoes trees are for the shoes keep their form.

Brown cap toe oxfords from Allen Edmonds

Also, get a trench coat, there’s nothing tackier than seeing a cat in a parka (e.g. Northface) when he has on business attire.

Traditional double breasted trench coat

Various styles of men's raincoats

Make sure that coat you get is a raincoat and not a an overcoat or a topcoat. Though all three coats will provide warmth, all three will not keep your dry, as a matter of fact if you wear an overcoat or a topcoat in the rain, sleet, or snow, the water will ruin the material that an overcoat or top coat is made of. Trench coats are made of waterproof material and therefore will keep you dry, that's why ole Rex is suggesting that you get a trench coat, before you get any other type of dress winter coat.

Overcoat

Here are some business attire don’ts.

A) Don’t wear tube socks with causal or business attire EVER! Those trilfin’ ass human resources people will eliminate you from the hiring process because of it.

B) Don’t wear ball caps with causal or business attire EVER. If you want to wear a cap with business attire, go buy a newsie or a driver’s cap. Also, get a proper winter hat. If you’re going to wear a beanie with a suit, the afternoon high for the day, better be 23 degrees with a wind chill factor of -5.



Rex wearing his newsboy cap.

Driver's cap

C) Don’t button the bottom button on a jacket, EVER!

D) Don’t wear suspenders with pants that have belt loops, the sh*t is tacky and redundant as f*ck.

E) Finally, if you don’t know how to tie a necktie, MUTHAF*CKA, YOU’RE LOSING IN LIFE AND LEARN!

http://community.allhiphop.com/disc...how-to-tie-a-necktie-you-re-losing-in-life/p1

 

[Maximus Rex]

The Official So Suave Tips for Making Your Life Easier Thread, (Education) Pt. II

11) Career Services and College Career Fairs

Campus career fairs are the vocational equivalent to speed dating due to that fact that you immediately have to make a good impression and do something in order to make yourself stand out. So in order to stand out get some business cards made, (with your picture on them,) and staple the business cards to your cover letter.

Remember, career fairs are just like interviews so the same rules apply. When you hear about an upcoming career fair, go to Career Services, (I assuming that's who'll be hosting the career fair,) and get an inside track on the companies that will be there (so you can research the companies, ask relevant questions and if possible, try to find out the name of the recruiters that will be there. Again, hitting up you're relatives in their dying support for you as you pursue your scholastic endeavors, have one of them cop you a briefcase or an over-the-shoulder computer bag. Again, job interviews are about presentation, and a briefcase or at (a minimum,) an over-the-shoulder computer bags looks more professional than a backpack.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=of8UgykfUbw

Watch this clip on Japanese business card etiquette and not only do this at career fairs, but when you receive a business card. Basically, you want to ACTUALLY READ the card. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES JUST PUT THE MUTHAF*CKA IN YOUR POCKET! Read the card, (and again, feigning b.s. interest,) ask something about the card, particularly the recruiter's job title. When you get to school, (assuming that you don't have any,) go have your cover letter and resume made or have the people in Career Services look at over your current cover letter and resume.

10) Join Clubs and Socialize

I’m a fan of autobiographies and biographies, (especially presidential biographies,) when I was reading Bill Clinton’s autobiography, one of the things that popped out was that a lot of dudes that ended up in his administration were people he went to Georgetown and Yale with. Yes, you’re in school to get a degree, (or a high school diploma,) however, college and grad school admissions people want to see that you did something other than just go to school. So join some student organizations or a fraternity, this will not only help grow your social circle, but also build your network. A lot business is done, based on recommendations or past relationships, and a lot of these relationships began in college. So whether your still in high school, entering, or returning to college, find a student organization that you can f*ck with.

If you're a transfer student and you're thinking about joining an academic team, (debate, moot court, or mock trial team, etcetera.) find out if they take juniors and seniors. Ya boy tried out for Catholic school's mock trial team, only to find out that him and his potna were used as guinea pigs to test the skills of the freshman and sophomores who did make the team. The problem with this is that the mock trial team try out was on at 9 A.M. on a Saturday morning and those that were trying out had to prepare an opening and closing argument, a direct and cross examination of the witnesses, in addition, to knowing the facts of the case because the lawyers, later played witnesses. Also, ya boy had to learn very rudimentary objections. After ole Rex found this out, he naturally felt some kinda way, because his effing time was wasted. I feel that if the coaches only wanted underclassmen (for the purposes of grooming them and retaining the team members longer,) that the coaches should have stated that as to avoid having people f*ck off their time. So again, if you're a transfer student and you thinking about joining an academic team, find out before hand if you even have a legitimate shot of making the muthaf*cka before you try out.

9) Buy a Printer and Office Supplies

Do you actually need a printer, a stapler, ectetera? No, however having these things makes your life easy. Instead of having to track down a stapler, or dealing with a printer that is f*cked up at school, you can just printer and staple the sh*t at home or in your dorm room at your convenience.

8) Do Your Assignments the Way Your Teacher Instructs You To

If your teacher/professor wants an assignment done in a particular way, do it the the teacher tells you to. Again, if you're not sure on something, ask and ask early.

7) Get Fee a Wavier

Colleges and graduate schools, (and I also think there's one for grants and scholarships,) usually want an application fee, however, if the fee waiver presents an financial hardship on you, you can have those fees waived if your income is under a certain level.

 

[Maximus Rex]

The Official So Suave Tips for Making Your Life Easier Thread, (Education) Pt. III

6) Recommendation Letters

Despite the complaints about the inefficacy of public education in America, you guys have to realize that you do have access to it and therefore you need to take full advantage of the opportunity and to appreciate it for what it's worth. Not to get preachy, but a lot of people in the 3rd World don't have the educational opportunities that we have. Also, you have to think back to slavery when it was illegal to teach a slave to read and write. Cats, (like Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman) taught themselves to read in secrecy, so to take such a cavalier attitude towards is highly disrespectful to the memory of who didn't have the opportunity and those who put themselves at risk to give themselves an education.

Rex has always been a good student (with no effort applied, and ya boy is an exceptional student when I applied myself,) so therefore, I've always had a good relationship with my teachers and professors to the point where I got grades that I shouldn't have. If you're working hard, participating, and showing interest, (especially in those ratchet ass inner city schools,) your teachers are going to take notice and be more than willing to help and advise you on your educational journey. It's not only imperative, but to your advantage that you form a good working relationship with your teachers, guidance counselors, your school principal, and when (or if you're already there,) your college professors, and other administrators such as the chairmen and deans of particular departments.

This will come in handy when it comes time to get those letters of recommendation for college internships, graduate school, and possibly jobs. Sometimes, people make the mistake of getting recommendation letters from people they hardly know, thus making the recommendation letter mundane and generic. By getting a recommendation letter from a person that knows you intimately, the letter will be more personal and the letter writer will be able to convey certain aspects of your personality, work ethic, character, and integrity in that letter. So when you’re at school it’s your duty to make sure that your teachers and professors know who are aside from being that quiet kid that sits in first row, on the left hand side, third seat from the back. Take time out at least twice a month to holla at your instructors doing their office hours or after class. Hell, I’d advise that you even try and have lunch with your teachers.

5) Your Papers, Please

Before you leave for school, make sure you have your ID/drivers license, a passport, (E.g. my school's debate team travels internationally, so you might need a passport,) and you'll need to show a copy of your immunization record. If you don't have one, you'll have to get those shots over again. Also, bring with you to school a copy of your birth certificate and social security card.

4) Honor Societies

If you're grades are high enough, you'll be eligible for various honors societies. You should get a letter saying that you're eligible, however, once you'r at school, you'll have to do further investigation in regards to the criteria for admittance. Being in an honor society is something that can be used in your personal statement for college, grad school, or a bullet point on your resume.

3) READ THE SYLLABUI

On the first day of class, each of your professors will either e-mail or give you a hard copy of the class syllabus and your instructor may even want you to sign a copy of it. It's vital that you read the syllabus because the it contains information such things as the required text/s the required reading, materials needed for the class, term paper and project due dates, and dates for for quiz's, tests, the midterm, and the final, his grading policy, (how grades are determined,) his office hours, (possibly his phone number,) and what he expects of his students.

The class syllabus is also a quasi contact, so your professor just can't do some random sh*t that isn't on the syllabus, if your professor does some sh*t random that isn't on the syllabus, you should bring it to his attention. If your professor persists with the random f*ck sh*t, you may have legitimate gripe and you should speak to the chairman or the dean of the department and see if the problem can be rectified.

2) DO NOT PROCRASTINATE, EVER!

Ya boy Rex could have finished his second semester of Catholic School a week early, in addition to getting straight A’s (because the classes were hella easy,) but he didn’t simply due to the fact that he got lazy and procrastinated. In school, (especially in college,) you have to get your assignments done as soon as possible, because if you don’t, out of nowhere, those assignments will pile up on you. Also, you have to study every day, especially in those subjects where there’s a lot of material to memorize or if you’re having problems in certain areas. You shouldn’t wait until midterms to decide to seek help or clarity from your teachers or professors, get on that sh*t immediately and you’ll be glad that you did.

What I strongly suggest is that you give yourself (reminders on a hard copy calendar and on your phone,) of the due dates of your papers, projects, and test dates. Put the first reminder, a month before the due date or the test, then put another two weeks before the term paper/project due date or test date.

 

[Maximus Rex]

The Official So Suave Tips for Making Your Life Easier Thread, (Education) Pt. IV

1) You're Responsible for the Quality of Your Education

When you get to 16 years old, you should consider it your personal responsibility to make sure everything concerning your education is squared away. Unfortunately, some people don’t put the premium on education that others do. For example, when I was thinking about what I was going to put in this thread, I realized that (on both sides of my family,) that my aunts and uncles for all intents and purposes became worker bees. They graduated high school, (some of them had some college,) and they went on to have regular jobs and own houses. However, I realized something, (with the exception of two,) none of my first cousins graduated college, and when I graduate from Catholic School in December, I’ll be the only one of generation of cousins to graduate college. In my opinion, certain people know that we need to go to college, however, it’s not something that’s tangible and certain individuals view education in the abstract.

In your sophomore or junior year of high school or college, (if you’re not getting the support at home,) you’re going to have to take it upon yourself, to find out about SAT, ACT, LSAT,and other testing prep via Kaplan, Princeton Review, or some other tutoring service. Being that these services are high as hell, you might have to get a job to pay for the service or go on a fundraising campaign among your relatives to get the money necessary to get pay for the course. If not, you’re going to have to research some sort of financial aid. You should ingratiate yourself into a networking or mentoring program and plead your case to someone in order to raise the funds necessary to pay for the tutoring.

Of course, you want to start with trying to find some sort of free tutoring, by asking your teachers, guidance counselor, or principal. Once you’ve exhausted that option, you might to hit up the local college and see what they have to offer in terms of test prep. From there, head over to Princeton Review or Kaplan and see what they recommend, (they might have a payment plan.) Just throwing something out there, you might want to contact the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, (though they deal with things on a macro level,) it’s worth shot to see if they offer something in terms of test prep, beginning that some of the foundation's philanthropy deals with education. Also get a copy of this book,

That book is going to you pay for school. You can use that book to apply for all sorts of grants and scholarships. I remember hearing a radio ad that said, "There's even money for left handed students." (Yeaaa for Rex.) Also, don't leave it to other people to take notes for you, namely because people are flakes. If you can't be in class, try to get your notes from from the teacher or a responsible people, and always know when your papers are due and when the test dates are coming up. When you do get to college, DO NOT DROP A CLASS! This goes back to getting tutoring if you're having difficulty in a subject. I dropped my accounting class and I had to take that the class over, however, ( when school resumes in September,) instead taking my usual 15 credits, I'm going to be taking 18, and if God forbid you do have to drop a class, MAKE SURE YOU'RE AT THE MINIMUM OF 12 CREDITS. 12 credits is minimum that you need to be considered a full time student and to be eligible for financial aid, if you drop below 12 credits, you'll have to pay for that sh*t. If you're particularly adroit in a subject, (for example English, math, or history,) you can test out of that class, however you do have to pay a fee to take the test.

At school, you'll usually meet with the dean once a semester for advisement, it's here that you make sure that your taking the right classes and your on track for graduation. It's imperative that you make sure this sh*t is squared away because the last thing that you need is to be in last semester and only to be told that your some credits short for graduation. That sh*t will piss you off, especially, if you go to a expensive ass Catholic school like mine. Anyway, whether your in high school or college, good luck as you pursue your academic career.

 

[dasein]

If I had known then what I know now:

1. I would have taken a more active role in choosing friends in my youth to 30s as opposed to whomever was in the vicinity and fun to party with. Write bad friends off just as fast as writing off bad women. Keep looking for more you can call in the middle of the night, and who can call you. Don't let friend selection gravitate around partying, drugging, woman chasing. Once you meet good people, don't let them go, keep in touch and always provide value to them. When friends marry, go out of your way to be a friend of the marriage, not an antagonist. Most of the time you will still be frozen out eventually by the wife, but sometimes it pays off.

2. I would be more accepting of incompetent bosses and coworkers (occasionally subordinates). Many's the time I have cultivated a needlessly negative, damaging attitude about a job or workplace based on a bad boss or coworker (or several), when in actuality, they weren't really messing with me all that much. It was a needless ego (even AMOG) thing. Grow thick skin and learn to distinguish real, damaging, dangerous a-holes from merely annoying ones. If you aren't being really truly abused, corrupted or compromised, it's probably not as big a deal as you think in the moment. If you let them chase you off with their petty BS, THEY WON, not you. I have lost out on several huge opportunities in making this mistake.

3. Plan for change. Balance fun and carpe diem with squirreling away assets and resources. Assume change will happen, plan for the unforeseen as opposed to dread it. Never be caught without a stash of "FU money" and other resources. Never allow other people (mostly women) to control or negate your planning in this way. Never create unnecessary drama, or let people in your life create faux drama so they can feel alive, the next REAL, inevitable life drama is just around the corner.

4. Be more earthly, less worldly. I wish I had much of the time I spent partying to spend putting my hands and feet in the earth in some way every day. Growing plants/gardening/farming, outdoor stuff, walking barefoot even, being out on the earth is very important, but living in a city or being very busy can siphon that away. If this is impossible to do, start learning how to meditate.

5. Get up early and be a morning person after 8 hours of sleep. This is a choice not a predisposition as so many lazy people rationalize (and I did for years LOL). Seeing sunrises after a good night's sleep, then getting right into some exercise is a huge attitude and energy boost. It may be the single most important happiness factor in my life at this point, and could have been for so many years in my youth as well. I don't overdo it, and get up at 6AM, which IMO is a civilized time to get up. YMMV.

Don't allow chasing women or partying, TV or gaming to mess with this. Yes, the guy who hangs around til 4AM often gets laid by drunk women, have been there many times... and hated myself a little for it. But what quality of leg is that? Sh-tty generally. Make yourself into the type of men who women want to f stone sober and will leave at 8PM with, as opposed to the type who has to "hang around" playing their silly attention games until they are finally DTF. If they aren't DTF when YOU want, learn the hard discipline to leave them for lesser men or do a better job seducing them without booze.

6. I would not have entered into any of the LT and midterm exclusive relationships I have. In fact, my intent is not to have any exclusive relationshps with women for the rest of my life. We must live in the times we are dealt, and in these times, the odds of meaningful, fair benefit to a man from LTRs and marriage is so low as to create a rebuttable presumption against them. This is not a hard and fast rule, just a rebuttable presumption.

7. I would be more disciplined and scheduled in my leisure activities. I have been to more sh-tty bars, sh-tty music shows, sh-tty parties, sh-tty things generally just due to going with the flow and having something to do. The information we have today at our fingertips allows us to avoid lots of time wasting less than crap. For example, I love XYZ music of say 8 years ago, and would gladly get tickets for that, but be sure to check it out on youtube to make sure the style hasn't totally changed. Never go to a theater and pick out a movie, most suck today. Don't do things just to have something to do. Plan cool things to do that you have control of and know will be cool. This one goes strongly hand in hand with #1.

8. Eat better. Goes without much elaboration. Makes a huge difference, so important. Probably #2 behind getting up and very active early. For every healthy food, there is an easy fast cheap tasty way to prepare it that you will like much better than any kind of fast food, I guarantee it.

9. Screen out bad stimulus. Turn TV OFF or to the music stations. Get the unnecessary noise out of life, use earplugs often. I lived for decades being barraged with 1000s of noises, messages, ads a day, it stressed me out and led to unhappiness. Strictly limit incoming stimulus in all aspects and never end up "GIGO." Some people don't need this, but folks like me definitely do.

enough for now, could probably list 100 more. Great thread OP.

 

[The_flying_dutchman]

good post. :rockon:

 

[Rave18]

If I had known then what I know now:

1. I would have taken a more active role in choosing friends in my youth to 30s as opposed to whomever was in the vicinity and fun to party with. Write bad friends off just as fast as writing off bad women. Keep looking for more you can call in the middle of the night, and who can call you. Don't let friend selection gravitate around partying, drugging, woman chasing. Once you meet good people, don't let them go, keep in touch and always provide value to them. When friends marry, go out of your way to be a friend of the marriage, not an antagonist. Most of the time you will still be frozen out eventually by the wife, but sometimes it pays off.

2. I would be more accepting of incompetent bosses and coworkers (occasionally subordinates). Many's the time I have cultivated a needlessly negative, damaging attitude about a job or workplace based on a bad boss or coworker (or several), when in actuality, they weren't really messing with me all that much. It was a needless ego (even AMOG) thing. Grow thick skin and learn to distinguish real, damaging, dangerous a-holes from merely annoying ones. If you aren't being really truly abused, corrupted or compromised, it's probably not as big a deal as you think in the moment. If you let them chase you off with their petty BS, THEY WON, not you. I have lost out on several huge opportunities in making this mistake.

3. Plan for change. Balance fun and carpe diem with squirreling away assets and resources. Assume change will happen, plan for the unforeseen as opposed to dread it. Never be caught without a stash of "FU money" and other resources. Never allow other people (mostly women) to control or negate your planning in this way. Never create unnecessary drama, or let people in your life create faux drama so they can feel alive, the next REAL, inevitable life drama is just around the corner.

4. Be more earthly, less worldly. I wish I had much of the time I spent partying to spend putting my hands and feet in the earth in some way every day. Growing plants/gardening/farming, outdoor stuff, walking barefoot even, being out on the earth is very important, but living in a city or being very busy can siphon that away. If this is impossible to do, start learning how to meditate.

5. Get up early and be a morning person after 8 hours of sleep. This is a choice not a predisposition as so many lazy people rationalize (and I did for years LOL). Seeing sunrises after a good night's sleep, then getting right into some exercise is a huge attitude and energy boost. It may be the single most important happiness factor in my life at this point, and could have been for so many years in my youth as well. I don't overdo it, and get up at 6AM, which IMO is a civilized time to get up. YMMV.

Don't allow chasing women or partying, TV or gaming to mess with this. Yes, the guy who hangs around til 4AM often gets laid by drunk women, have been there many times... and hated myself a little for it. But what quality of leg is that? Sh-tty generally. Make yourself into the type of men who women want to f stone sober and will leave at 8PM with, as opposed to the type who has to "hang around" playing their silly attention games until they are finally DTF. If they aren't DTF when YOU want, learn the hard discipline to leave them for lesser men or do a better job seducing them without booze.

6. I would not have entered into any of the LT and midterm exclusive relationships I have. In fact, my intent is not to have any exclusive relationshps with women for the rest of my life. We must live in the times we are dealt, and in these times, the odds of meaningful, fair benefit to a man from LTRs and marriage is so low as to create a rebuttable presumption against them. This is not a hard and fast rule, just a rebuttable presumption.

7. I would be more disciplined and scheduled in my leisure activities. I have been to more sh-tty bars, sh-tty music shows, sh-tty parties, sh-tty things generally just due to going with the flow and having something to do. The information we have today at our fingertips allows us to avoid lots of time wasting less than crap. For example, I love XYZ music of say 8 years ago, and would gladly get tickets for that, but be sure to check it out on youtube to make sure the style hasn't totally changed. Never go to a theater and pick out a movie, most suck today. Don't do things just to have something to do. Plan cool things to do that you have control of and know will be cool. This one goes strongly hand in hand with #1.

8. Eat better. Goes without much elaboration. Makes a huge difference, so important. Probably #2 behind getting up and very active early. For every healthy food, there is an easy fast cheap tasty way to prepare it that you will like much better than any kind of fast food, I guarantee it.

9. Screen out bad stimulus. Turn TV OFF or to the music stations. Get the unnecessary noise out of life, use earplugs often. I lived for decades being barraged with 1000s of noises, messages, ads a day, it stressed me out and led to unhappiness. Strictly limit incoming stimulus in all aspects and never end up "GIGO." Some people don't need this, but folks like me definitely do.

enough for now, could probably list 100 more. Great thread OP.

Nice post.

 

[Colossus]

Always appreciate life wisdom, and if I could tell 22 year old Colossus a few things...

1. Dont take women so seriously. You'll find out one day your female contemporaries are mostly insecure, needy, manipulative narcissists and you'll wonder why the hell you put them on that pedestal. Focus more on real sh!t and less on getting laid. The mental and spiritual payoff is bigger.

2. Go to a state college where you can pay in-state tuition. Forget about school names, focus on grades.

3. Don't wait for friends to come to you, you need to seek out like-minded people. Also, hang out with winners. People who get up early, get sh!t done, study hard, don't booze their life away, and have big ideas.

4. If you are wondering whether or not a girl is right for you, she probably isn't.

5. Don't ever be afraid to dump a girl---forever---for treating you like sh!t. You will be just fine, I promise. You teach people how to treat you.

6. Seek adventure and friendship. Join the outdoor club in college. Take a wilderness class. Plan a trip in the woods. More fulfillment has come from these things than all of my lays and LTR's combined. New girls can be fun, but let them be a byproduct of your real pursuits.

7. Carry out your work with pride. You are representing YOURSELF first, and the company second. Forget them and their managerial failings and numbers. You are the one performing the work, so do it as if you are an independent contractor. Even if it's not your life's calling, it's your trade and your livelihood.

8. Read more books, spend less time online. Do not watch porn. Avoid it like a disease.

9. Don't get sucked into worldly affairs like gossip, partying, and the lives of losers. Do real things with your time. Build something, make some music, go hiking and backpacking, brew beer, grow some vegetables, fish, see live music, etc.

10. It's going to take some time to get where you want in life. It's going to take time to get to a point where you can financially afford to delve into more expensive hobbies. Do things you can do today. Spend less money on alcohol and put more into savings and invest into a hobby. A couple of beers are nice, but beyond that you are literally p!ssing your money away. It will not get you laid.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Rex Disagrees

2. Go to a state college where you can pay in-state tuition. Forget about school names, focus on grades.

I disagree, partially because it depends on what you your future career is. If you want to be teacher in the public schools, then it doesn't make sense to rack up all of that debt by going to Teacher's College at Columbia or if you want to be a social worker going to Georgetown. However, if you want to be a lawyer, doctor, go into banking, etc., than the names Harvard, Columbia, Yale, Stanford, Brown, and Princeton carry a lot of weight. Also, going to those schools carry a lot of intangibles such as the connects you'll make and the doors that will open because of it. Sometimes people will give an opportunity based of the strength of you being an alumnus of the said person's alma mater.

 

[Colossus]

Maybe law, but not medicine. I know because I'm in it.

 

[dasein]

Agree with colossus here, but don't think you two are that apart. Sure, if you can get into a -top ten- school, there's a real choice to be made as to whether the extra cost is worth it, and it probably is in many cases. However, if you get into, say, a top 100 school that costs 50k a year and a rank and file school that costs 20k, well IME the extra little rep of the "good" school is not near worth the extra cost of 120k over four years. There is lots of dishonest marketing in upper education today, and people continue to fall for it in droves. I tell folks considering law school not to go LOL, but if they persist, "If you don't get into a top ten school, and I mean TOP ten not top 30, go to the cheapest place you can find with a decent bar pass rate."